IT WAS SATURDAY evening and someone had just yelled my name as I left the dining room.

Yunji had decided not to get takeaway tonight, so I was alone as I walked back to house. Both Analisse and Oliana had gone to their friends' houses since exams were over and papers had been handed back, and House was feeling rather empty.

I spun around, patting the high ponytail I'd spent half an hour trying to properly tie to make sure it hadn't fallen apart. I had this strange feeling I'd be sleeping with it tonight out of fear that I'd never be able to make something like it again.

It was Theodore Yu.

Blinking nonplussed, I glanced behind him to make sure none of his posse was around. They weren't. Theodore was alone, and for some reason he had to talk to me.

My brows creased.

He caught up after a second, since he was ridiculously tall, and I raised one eyebrow as I met his gaze. "Yes?"

He licked his lips and swallowed, clearly nervous. Theodore Yu, nervous. That was the first time I'd seen something like this, and it was fascinating.

Both Theodore and Sebastian were good-looking. If Sebastian was obviously the fun-loving, mischievous one of the two, then Theodore was the mature and stable one who always thought with his brain. Tonight he wore a white t-shirt and shorts. It had started getting hot a little while back, and I myself was in shorts tonight with a tank top. One of the things that had evolved about me since I'd come here. I'd started dressing a bit differently.

He sucked in a deep breath and then said, "I need help."

I shut my eyes. "I need help too, as much as I don't want to admit it."

"Oh?" he asked, tilting his head. "With?"

"You first," I said, nudging my chin towards him.

He winced, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. "I, uh, messed up my Theory of Magic exams. And I didn't get the score I wanted for History either."

Okay.

I hadn't been expecting this.

I hadn't asked about their grades. I hadn't bothered, and I doubted any of my friends would know anyways. I met his gaze. This was perfect. If both of us needed help from the other, then there was nothing to feel embarrassed about.

We were dead equal.

Also, he needed help with two subjects. I only needed help with one.

I had the advantage. The higher ground.

I raised my head. "Fucked up for you or fucked up for everyone?" I asked, crossing my arms, using Karina and Starla's words.

He blinked as he stared at me, and then replied, "Fucked up for me. I got seventy two for Theory, somehow. And seventy-eight for History."

"Seventy for Artefacts," I admitted. "I need help with it, and you're the Artefacts god around school."

Hope seemed to enter his eyes. Releasing a breath, he carefully suggested, "So... I know you're good with Theory and History. And I heard you got good marks for both. And you need help from me for Artefacts... so why don't we help each other? You help me with Theory and History, I help you with Artefacts?"

But there was one problem with that, wasn't there?

"And what does Sebastian think of this?"

Silence.

"Does he know?"

Silence.

"You didn't ask him?"

Theodore's eyes were cold when they landed on me again. "You might find it hard to believe, but the two of us are separate people. He can't control what I do, and I can't control what he does."

That was not the friendship I was used to seeing. But I hadn't seen any signs of conflict... albeit I wasn't looking hard.

Testily, I asked, "Trouble in paradise?"

I took Theodore's downwards-tugged lips as confirmation.

I let out a loud laugh now. "The fuck happened? Are you trying to get revenge on him?"

"Nothing happened." But it was so obvious he was lying I couldn't tell why he was even bothering.

"What happened?" I pressed again, crossing my arms. And this time, Theodore let his eyes shut.

He had such long eyelashes.

Why did he have such long eyelashes?

Why couldn't I have such long eyelashes?

Clearly he didn't treasure them much. If I had them, I'd treasure them. Very dearly at that. God was so unfair. And why did God give this motherfucker such a good brain? It was so, so, unfair, but now I was being ridiculous so I snapped back into reality.

"What happened?" I demanded.

Theodore's eyes snapped open. "Us guys couldn't deal with how he'd changed."

"What?" I asked, incredulous.

"You probably haven't noticed," Theo said, "but Seb stopped hanging out with us as much after... after you rejected him, basically. And his attitude started becoming a lot more unpredictable. He'd get mad over the slightest of stuff... we took it at first, thought he was just sad, but a few days ago it got out of hand and we accused him of still being butthurt over you rejecting him and he stormed off. We'd wanted to confront him for a while but we didn't want to affect anyone's mood during exams... and I guess that was a good choice."

"What?"

I realised I had repeated that word around fifty times now and probably seemed like a monosyllabic idiot to Theo, but I couldn't care less.

"We thought he'd get over it, and then he didn't. He barely said a word to the three of us over the past week. And knowing Seb, he holds grudges." He eyed me. "Not unlike you, I suppose. Blocking him because he left you on read?"

"Our friendship was already over in real life, thought I might as well sever it online as well."

He scoffed. "Please. Your pride just got wounded."

"Oh, so his pride gets wounded and you all jump to his defence, but the moment mine is I'm the evil, villainous bitch?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Tell me what you meant, then."

"We're not really friends with Sebastian anymore." This was spat out impatiently, as if the words hurt him to say. I expected it to. "I considered asking you for help before it all happened, but it didn't feel right."

"And now that you're not friends with Sebastian anymore and don't need to feel buthurt on his behalf, here you are."

"Yeah." Theodore stared at me. "Yeah, that sounds about right. So. Yes or no?"

"What if you become friends with Sebastian again?"

It was going to happen. Both of us knew that eventually the boys of Aesir House would kiss and make up with their black sheep. And if I was going to be the sacrificial lamb that was ousted out again for their friendship. I didn't want to risk it happening again. Especially not next year, when I needed to be in a perfect mindset for exams. I was not going to let anything affect me.

And Theodore, it seemed, somehow got that. He raised his hand, with three fingers straightened. "I swear. As long as our arrangement lasts, I won't let him bother you. As long as you don't bother him. Look, it'll be mutually beneficial, no one's losing anything here. We can just take an hour out of prep time every week to help each other catch up, and once we think it's enough we can end it, easy peasy. And then we can go on pretending the other person doesn't exist."

It was tempting. Teaching him Theory and History would help me study both subjects as well, and it also meant that I could stop worrying about Artefacts (because if even Theodore Yu couldn't help me raise my grades I was so fucked). He was right. Neither of us lost anything. We both gained something that we both desperately needed.

I shut my eyes. "Fine."

A smile broke on his face. A charming one, of actual joy, one that I'd never quite seen on his face before. The Theodore Yu I'd known was one who didn't talk much, who was stern and annoyed at something or someone.

This was a joyous Theodore Yu.

"We can arrange it over the summer," I told him. "I don't think we should bother starting now, we'll just forget by next year. Gather the topics you especially need help with and then send them to me, I'll see how I can help. I'll do the same."

"Thank you, Honoria."

"I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for me." I rolled my eyes as I turned on my heel. "Just text me. I need to go back for my takeaway. And don't just stand there, go. I don't want someone to walk by and think I'm fucking with not just one but two Aesir boys, Jesus Christ."

—

I DIDN'T TELL Yunji what had transpired. I wouldn't really be able to hide it, no, but I'd crossed that bridge when we got there. I didn't need to tell her or Adelina everything. It wasn't that big news anyways. My qualm, at its very core, had only ever been with Sebastian. Theodore was just his friend who was roped into it all.

I was chatting with Jeremy that night, who'd gotten the girl thanks to my amazing insight (of which I'd given none), and we were now rather good friends. Me, him and Natalie were going to hang out once we were back in Hong Kong. Clearly I was just going to be the third wheel, but I didn't mind. Much.

Of course I still minded. It would be awkward as fuck. But it would also be funny.

I'd told him about what was happening with Sebastian and Theodore, and so he was also the only person I told about me and Theodore's deal.

And he was laughing his ass off.

THIS IS HIS REVENGE PLAN I'M TELLING YOU. MAN'S TRYING TO STEAL HIS EX-FRIEND'S GIRL LMAOOOOOOOOO

Absolutely speechless, I replied with a simple but effective, bruh.

No I'm serious. Dead serious.

Ehhhhhhh he's not that type of guy, it's just kinda funny y'know

It's not just kinda funny. It's very funny, he replied.

And that was Jeremy Choi's insight on this particular situation. Both Choi Kwanfong and Jeremy Choi, I decided, had issues. But the Chois I'd known back in Hong Kong hadn't been this insane, so it was probably just a them problem.

Either way it didn't matter.

I needed Theodore Yu's help. He needed my help. It was the perfect deal, the best we could make out of this situation. That would be enough.

I turned off my phone and stared at the ceiling.

It was already late May. In less than a month I'd be heading back to Hong Kong, ending year ten. And becoming a year eleven student. It had happened so fast, I could barely comprehend it. It felt like yesterday when it was September, when I'd first shown up and met Yunji and Adelina and everyone else.

It felt like yesterday when I decided I needed to start making friends, to stop being invisible.

It felt like yesterday when I fell apart with the Aesir boys, when Yunji and I's biggest worry was Nadia Sorren being an absolute bitch (she still was, but she'd died down a little bit).

It felt like yesterday when I was being jealous of everyone I met (I still was, but not as much).

I came here expecting the best years of my life. I wasn't sure it had reached that standard yet, but... the year hadn't been bad either. It hadn't lived up to my original expectations, but then again those expectations were pretty damned hard to hit in the first place. It wasn't a mediocre year. It was better than that. I'd had so much fun, I'd felt myself changing for the better. Becoming more independent, becoming more capable and smart and mature. I'd learnt to deal with problems by myself instead of relying on parents and the other adults in my life.

I learnt how to cook. My mum had always wanted to teach me how to cook while I was in Hong Kong, but I'd never bothered because I knew she'd be there to cook for me anyways, and I'd never need to do so myself. But at my guardian's house, I learnt to cook. At school on weekends, I learnt to cook. Sure, my skills weren't that good yet, but it was edible and tasted pretty damned good and that was enough by now.

I'd had my first experience with romance. Sure, it ended like shit, but I'd finally know what it felt like. To be liked. For crushes and butterflies in your stomach and young love that never lasted, because god we're still kids. We had such a long road ahead of us.

I didn't know what was in store for me.

I was still pretty fucking pissed about my exams. I could have done so much better, and that was what was written on my report card. Honoria performed well on her exams, but failed to live up to expectations, especially compared to her usual exceptional work. Reading the words a few days ago had made my eyes burn, but I'd stopped myself from crying because I knew it would be useless. What I needed was a plan, and I already had one.

I wouldn't make the same mistakes I made this year again.

I swore to myself that.

I'd do better next year. Making friends, grades, fucking hell, romance. Even though I had no interest in dating. Now or in year eleven. In year twelve, maybe, or beyond that.

Though my parents would disagree.

But it didn't matter.

What mattered was what I wanted.

I came here with goals, and even though I might not have achieved them all, at least I'd bloody given it my best shot. I had nothing to feel sorry for, nothing to feel guilty for. And that was how I liked it. Yes, I've been upset, I was still a bit upset now, but I'll get over it and let it go soon. And then I'll try again, and eventually I'll succeed.

And that would be enough.

—

THE LAST DAY of school was a rainy one, as with classic British style. I sat with Louisa, Gwen, Analisse and Audrey in the reception, waiting for our guardians to show up and drive us to the Portal Station. The Aesir boys were sitting at the other end with some of the older boys in their house. Sebastian was there too, but he wasn't talking, instead staring at his phone with a lost expression on his face.

I almost felt bad.

Theodore noticed me glancing, but oddly enough I felt no shame or embarrassment as I lifted my gaze and gave him a small, greeting nod.

To my surprise, he nodded back.

The little interaction went unnoticed as I turned back to the girls.

"Can't believe the year's over," Louisa murmured.

"I'm glad it is," Audrey said with a laugh. "Honestly, fuck this year. And fuck next year too. Sixth form will be so much better."

"Oh, because you've already experienced it?"

Audrey glanced at me, mirth written on her face. "Nah, sweetie. I just know it. Trust me, I know all."

"How narcissistic," Gwen said with a roll of her eyes. "Really, Audrey, you should learn to dial it down a little. It doesn't hurt anyone to be humble."

"It hurts me to be humble," Audrey retorted. "I'm fabulous and I know it, so why should I bother hiding that fact?"

All of us decided that we could not be bothered to argue with that. When Audrey had set her mind on something, really, there was no point in trying to argue with her. Her mind was set, and she was one of the most stubborn people I knew.

"This year was fun," Gwen said. "Like, actually fun. It was dramatic as fuck, for one."

"That's every year here," Audrey remarked. "Last year was even worse."

Louisa nudged me and mouthed, Peter Morrison.

I started sniggering.

Audrey glanced at us and scowled. "Hey! Hey! We don't mention that! We don't mention that at all, you little fucks!"

"I didn't mention it," Louisa said with a face of utter innocence.

"You absolutely did."

"I did not," Louisa retorted. "You have no evidence I did."

"Honoria's laughing face is proof enough," Audrey snapped. "You absolutely mentioned... mentioned him again. I told you, don't bring his name up in my presence."

"Did you hear us mention him?" I asked, leaning forward.

Audrey just glared at me, and I smirked in return. She turned away with a huff. "Fucking bullies."

"Boohoo," Gwen snorted. "Cry me a river, Dre. Cry me a river."

"Princesses don't cry," Audrey said with an expression of mock seriousness.

"You're not a princess," Gwen deadpanned.

"I could be," Audrey said, raising her head. "What if my ancestors are the Aisin Gioros? Hmm? What then?"

"That doesn't make you a princess," I pointed out. "That just makes you Manchurian."

Now Audrey just looked flummoxed. I smirked. "See? International students. They haven't even properly learnt Chinese history."

Louisa said, "I'm a local student and I still have no idea what you're talking about, you history freak."

I gasped. "All of you are disgraces."

And now Gwen raised one brow. "I know what you're talking about. I watched Ruyi's Royal Love in the Palace, you know. Obsessively. I can memorise half the lines."

I eyed her, "Only that? Empresses in the Palace? Story of Yanxi Palace? Any of those?"

Gwen raised her head. "I know both shows."

Now I was extremely offended. "You haven't watched Empresses in the Palace. Oh my god, Gwen, you've watched Ruyi's Royal Love and you haven't watched Empresses in the Palace. You utter disgrace, dishonour on your cow—"

Louisa tapped me on the shoulder, and I turned to face her. She flashed the brightest smile in my face and then said, each word uttered tantalisingly slowly, "Shut. Up."

And when sweet and quiet Louisa Chan told you to shut up, you usually did shut up. There was always something terrifying when usually nice people started being mean. Audrey could tell me to shut up a thousand times and I wouldn't give a shit, but when Louisa did, I obeyed.

Just how the world works.

Our guardians showed up then, with their cars. It was me and Audrey's guardians. There were four of us, and there was no way in hell our luggage was fitting on a single car, so we'd decided two would be better instead. I got on with Louisa, and the other two sat in the other car.

A minute later, we were off.

As we went through the school gate, I glanced behind, back at the school. Even though it was raining, I could still make out the grey bricks on the wall of the main building.

I smiled.

Until next year.

THE END.

(27/5/2022 - 11/8/2022)

hiiiiii! slightly abrupt and i didn't update for a bit bc of school but we smile at the moon is done! if the story seems incomplete it's because it is—it'll continue in the second book of the series!

but here's also where i feel the need to ask: how do you guys want me to update the next book? it's going to take a little while, but do you want me to update as i go (more chances of inconsistency & might be irregular but updates start sooner) or do you want me to finish the entire book before updating?

on another note, though, i'll start updating of iron and crowns, so those of you who read my other series could look forward to that in the time being :D

thank you for reading!