BUT YET, THE worst about the rumour was yet to come. And finally, it happened, one nice day later, when I'd just walked out of the cafeteria after lunch. I'd finished first, so Adelina and Yunji were still eating inside. I just wanted to get back to my room quickly so that I could have a proper break and some peace and quiet.

  It was my mistake, I supposed. Perhaps the fact that I was constantly surrounded by my friends was what was warding him off.

  "Hey."

  My head snapped towards the direction of the voice. He was sitting there, outside the main school building, on a bench, laptop on his lap. He had to have been sitting there for a little while.

  I blinked, nonplussed. "Oh, hello there Seb."

  "Hey, uh, I know this is random, but can we talk?"

  I studied him for a split moment. His hair, slightly spiked up, his brows knitted with frustration, dark eyes boring holes into my skin. Yunji was right—he was handsome, but it didn't matter.

  I said, "Sorry, I have to get back to house right now."

  "Why the rush?" his expression had crumbled, but I didn't have the time to feel bad. I just wanted to extract myself from this interaction as quickly as possible.

  "I need to find Miss Royce," I lied. "I need to talk to her about something." I didn't even hesitate. I just didn't want to do this right now. I didn't want to do this at any time, actually, any time at all. He was the person I least wanted to see right now, even less than Nadia Sorren herself.

  "Oh, then, umm," Seb frowned. It was rare to see him without words, and yet I was rendering him to it now. If I had any doubts about the rumours before, they were being confirmed quickly now. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. I didn't want to do this because I didn't know what to do. It would just be awkward. And I didn't want to ruin my friendship with him over something like this.

  Maybe he'd be rational about it.

  "Maybe we can set a time to talk about it?" he suggested, nervousness clearly written on his face. "I don't mind."

  "I'm busy tonight." I wasn't. I had prep, but it could technically wait.

  "Tomorrow?"

  "The Duellers' Club. I have a meeting."

  "What?" He looked baffled. "But you guys don't have meetings except on..."

  Oh right, crap. He was best friends with Theo–how could I have forgotten? Quickly, I continued, "Umm, yeah, but Adelina and I want to do some extra practice on our own. I noticed a few spots I could do better and she said she could help me and... actually, I really need to go find Miss Royce now."

  He stared at me. I was certain he knew I was finding excuses, but I was too anxious to care. "Oh, alright then. I'll see you around, Honoria."

  "Bye, Seb."

  And then I practically sped-walk away back to house. Once I was out of his sight, I let out a sigh of relief. I couldn't escape him forever. Eventually, we'd have to talk. But hopefully by then, he'd have gotten the message and selected his words very carefully.

  I wasn't sure what else I could do.

  It was only October, for fuck's sake. October. I shouldn't be having to deal with this one month after coming here in October. That was just absolutely ridiculous. I barely knew him anyways, and he barely knew me. Yes, I knew I was conventionally attractive—big eyes, pale skin, skinny with what I'd been told was a nice smile and dark brown hair, but really? A month?

  It was pure stupidity, that's what it was.

  I swore to god, boys at this age, they all fancied themselves in love and with crushes. But more often than not it was just the simplest tint of attraction, and the crushes came and went as quickly as the wind, leaving both sides awkward and hurt. I refused to be included in that long list.

  One way or another, this problem would be dealt with.

  With the amount of people who knew at this point, my roommates would be the next to ask. Unless they forgot, which was likely, because in the grand scheme of things this wasn't all that important. I was rather certain Queenie and Clark were on the verge of getting back together again (my god), and most people would be focusing on that rather than me and Seb.

  At least, I really hoped so.

  No one barged into my dorm demanding answers, which was nice and all, but also slightly suspicious. I chewed on my gummy bears as I started watching some videos online to pass the time, waiting for afternoon registration so that I could go to classes again. But there was half an hour to go.

  Well, half an hour could pass by fast enough. I glanced at my lessons for the afternoon, and then swore under my breath.

  Maths.

  Seb was there. Along with Nadia, Yunji, Nicole, Theo, and most of the other full boarding students, which made up a majority of the people who would care about the rumours. Because god forbid scandals as big as this one happened rare enough with us. (Which was fair, because there were only around twenty of us, and most of us were people who stayed away from the dramatics.)

  Well, there went my plan of avoiding everyone for the rest of the day until they all forgot about it.

  Whatever. The main reason I refused to date was so that it wouldn't affect my grades anyways. The best thing I could do right now was push these thoughts out of my head and focus on what actually mattered. Class. Maths wasn't my best subject anyways, so I did actually have to put dedication into it.

  Right. Perhaps I ought to meditate tonight, just to clear my mind. Though it felt a bit ridiculous doing it while my roommates chattered about their lives, so perhaps I'd wait until the weekends instead. Though it might be too late by then. I just needed to stop thinking about it, that's all, because no one else cared about this nearly as much as I did. Even Seb was probably thinking about this less than me. I knew I overthought things, but it had never been so painfully clear to me before now.

  (Further reason of why I refused to date until I was a bit older, when I'd be a bit more mature, a bit more rational, a bit more smart. I always liked to plan ahead.)

—

  "HONORIA, CAN WE talk?"

  "That makes you the fourth person to say those exact words in the past two days," I glowered, not bothering to turn around to face Theodore Yu. It was after Maths. Sebastian hadn't been there—instruments class, Theo had told the teacher. I didn't think he was lying.

  "Well, I'm sure they were all for the same reason, but I'm not one of your girl friends, Honoria."

  "No, you're his best friend." I rolled my eyes. "That makes me want to talk to you less."

  "So you admit you were purposefully trying to avoid him."

  "No, I was busy," I deadpanned. "Do you have a point?" Of course he knew. Theodore Yu was smart. Smart in a way Seb wasn't, or even Adelina. He noticed these things, not unlike how I did. Though I rather thought we viewed the details of everything quite differently. Everyone had their own brand of intelligence, whether useful or not.

  "He's my best friend," he said quietly, "which makes it my duty to speak to you about this whole rumour situation."

  "He doesn't need you to speak for him."

  Theo stepped forward and grabbed my shoulder, spinning me around so that I'd be facing him. I growled, but he didn't look away. "Well, he can't speak to you if you refuse to do so, can he? Also, it's funny how you act so sweet and soft around him. Look at you now."

  I bared my teeth. "Are you suggesting I am purposefully trying to fuck with him?"

  "Are you not?" Theo asked, raising one brow. "I see how often you message each other. Would you really be doing that if you didn't have some kind of ulterior motive? Seb's popular. And handsome. And nice. And unfortunately, naive. A perfect victim."

  "No. I talked with him because I thought we were friends. I didn't expect this, and I most definitely did not plan it, no matter what your twisted little mind thinks, Theodore Yu. And I really don't like how you're accusing me of these things without a sliver of evidence." I raised my head, eyes narrowing. I mean, I could see why he'd thought that. Because upon reflection, I had been acting a bit too close to Sebastian. And I'd forgotten the fact that boys at this age, well, I'd already expressed my feelings on that. But still. I hadn't done it on purpose, and he had no evidence of it.

  "Am I, though?" he said with a quizzical raise of his brow. "Look at you now. You're too scared to even talk to him."

  "I don't want to talk with him because I don't want to stop being friends with him."

  "Too late," Theo laughed. "Moment this shit happened, your friendship was already over."

  "I'll salvage it." I raised my chin. "He's one of my only friends, I won't—"

  "Talk to him, then. Talk it out. Because what you're doing right now is just going to hurt both of you."

  I didn't reply to what he said. "I need to get to class," I told him.

  "And there you go. Avoiding the topic. Again. Running away. Can't believe I thought you were worthy of him."

  "Fuck off, Theodore."

  "No, you're the one fucking off right now, Honoria. But it's your choice. Make up your mind. I'm just the messenger, after all."

  With that, he gave me a mocking tip of his head and turned to walk away, leaving me seething where I stood. Fucking arrogant asshole. It was bad enough he beat me in a majority of my subjects. And now this?

  I was starting to heavily despise the guy. He was so... painfully perfect. Flawless, almost, if you ignored his pride. He was one of those people here who just seemed to achieve everything I wanted without breaking a single threat. It was just stupidly unfair.

  But envying him wouldn't help me with anything. If I wanted to beat him, I'd just have to work harder and work smarter.

  I let out a sigh and walked out of the Klairns Building to my next class.

  Life was starting to get more complicated here, and I wasn't sure if I was a big fan of it. Mind on the prize, I reminded myself. Don't get distracted. Remember what you're here for.

  Grades. To prove myself and my parents proud. But those were starting to feel less important day after day. It wasn't just grades I was jealous of now. I wasn't jealous of... Nicole Yeung, for example, because she had good grades. No, I was envious of her because of her large social circle, how everyone seemed to know her and like her. I could never achieve something like that. And she made it seem so easy.

  It was with those troubling thoughts I went to my last class of the day, Human Science.

  A subject I despised even more than Maths.

  It just didn't make sense to me. Even when I thought it did, it would escape me once again. Somehow I could stare at these things and have it just simply not work for my head. The biology aspect was fine—that was just memorisation, but chemistry and physics? It was making me feel depressed. Which wasn't a good sign.

  If something made you feel depressed, it was never a good sign. Never. That was just simple common sense.

  I'll survive, somehow. This Christmas, I'd already planned to study Human Science until I finally understood it and caught up with all the material I hadn't learnt last year. It would be too late by next term, and I didn't feel like flopping the subject.

  I just had to make it through the next while until I had time to properly study the subject, that was all. I should be able to handle that.

  I unscrewed my water bottle for a long swig (during which I realised how little water I'd drank that day), and twirled my finger for the cap to screw back on. It was one of those little spells that made life easier in ways you didn't realise that my parents would have scolded me for using. Too lazy to use hands, they'd have scolded, what use are you? What will you do if you work for humans in the future?

  I wasn't sure. The subjects I was good at, certainly, were not suitable for working with humans. I could hardly do any jobs associated with the Theory or History of Magic with ordinary humans.

  I made a mental note to not use that spell when I eventually returned to Hong Kong.

  A few minutes later I'd arrived at the science classroom. No one was inside yet, and my classmates were waiting outside the room chatting. I found Louisa and joined her and some of her friends. I usually stuck with them during Science lessons, but it was still a bit awkward sometimes. At the end of the day, I wasn't a part of their friend group. But they were all nice and accepting, so I didn't care all that much.

  None of them mentioned Seb, thankfully. We all started complaining about various aspects of our lives, as we usually did, until our teacher finally arrived and unlocked the lab. We all filed inwards into our seats as our teacher began the lesson.

—

  "HEY, I HEARD—"

  I cut Louisa off mid-sentence. "God, not you too."

  We had just split into groups of two to do our practical, and Louisa had chosen to stick with me, which I was extremely thankful for. And besides, we were usually scarily proficient compared to the other groups. I wondered why.

  She offered me an apologetic look. "Sorry, Hon, but word's everywhere now. You're officially relevant for the rest of the day. Enjoy it while you can. And as your friend, I have the right to know slightly more than everyone else."

  "I was hoping to become relevant for some other reason," I whispered back through gritted teeth. "My academic achievements, as an example."

  "Yeah," she snorted, "not happening around here. This school doesn't care all that much about that, in case you haven't realised. It's not Hong Kong anymore. Thank god, I think."

  "I've realised," I said slowly, "that I base most of my self-worth off of my academic results."

  "That's the Hong Kong way of life." Louisa flashed me a grin. "You're in England now, hun."

  "Hun? Really? My god, you really are becoming British, aren't you?"

  "入鄉隨俗," she laughed. When you go somewhere away from home, you follow their culture. I snorted in return, shaking my head.

  "People here, I swear, are obsessed with calling you terms of endearment."

  "It's the culture." In a hushed tone, she said, "Like vaping. Or smoking. Or drinking alcohol."

  I pretended to shiver. "My god, don't remind me of it. The fucking culture shock. I did kind of expect it, but still..."

  "Do they do it in Lok?" she asked. "They do it in Sorren a lot. The bathrooms, usually."

  "I've heard about it," I admitted, "like them saying they do it in passing, but I've never seen it with my own two eyes. I think they know I don't like it. I seem like that kind of person, you know? Or maybe Yunji and Analisse had said something to them about it last year."

  "Lucky you," Louisa said. "We aren't as lucky, you see. Nicole, Nadia, Collette..."

  "I think it's why Nicole can fit in. She actually goes to the parties."

  "I agree," Louisa nodded in agreement. "It's where everything happens. Since we never go, all we get is secondhand, inaccurate, drunken accounts. Not that I really want to know." She frowned. "I'm fine just knowing the tip of the iceberg."

  I let out a huff of laughter, shaking my head as we arranged the test tubes in the correct order. It was about acids and alkali, which I had learnt last year and was fairly good at. Which was a first. She handed me the universal indicator, and I started adding careful drops. "It's so dramatic. Like an actual teen movie."

  "Think that's the point," she grimaced. "My views have been broadened alright. I'm never fazed by anything now."

  "I don't think that's what our parents intended, but I mean, it works."

  The sound of glass shattering on the other side of the room ended our conversation abruptly. The next sounds were the frustrated scolding of our teachers and the embarrassed mumbles of the group in question. Louisa and I raised a brow and snickered as we returned to our own experiment. "Jesus," I said. "How did they manage that?"

  "Watch someone set fire to this school someday."

  "If that happens, I don't think it'd be an accident, Lou."

  "That terrifies me. But I'm sure we can put it out with a bit of magic." She wiggled her fingers, the baby blue sparks glimmering in the air. "Water summoning."

  "That water has to come from somewhere," I pointed out. "What, we summon all the water from Bridewater Lake to save our dear school?"

  "What else is the lake for?" Louisa wrinkled her nose. "You know, a whole year here, I've never properly gone to the lake."

  "We could plan something for this weekend," I suggested. "You, Gwen, Audrey, me, Yunji, I'll ask Analisse if she wants to join. We could have a picnic."

  "If it doesn't rain."

  "It hasn't rained for a week."

  "Don't jinx it, Honoria Song, please don't jinx it."

  "Fair enough. This weekend, though? If the weather's all nice and willing?"

  "I'll ask the girls, but they'll probably say yes. How are we going to have a picnic, though? With school sandwiches? I'd rather die."

  "Okay fine, so maybe no picnic, then. I remember there's a few nice restaurants on the lakeside, right? There's that really famous one that's right on the shore with the tiny boatyard. We could go there."

  "Oh yeah." Louisa looked pleased. "You know Walt Everstone in sixth form?"

  My brows creased. "Who?"

  "The restaurant's called Everstone's. It's his family's."

  "I did not know that," I murmured, swirling a test tube around so that the indicator would probably change the colour of the acid. "Is it good, then?"

  "I think so," Louisa said. "Everstone is very popular."

  "That says nothing."

  "A lot of sixth formers like to go to Everstone's on the weekends, so I assume it's pretty damned good."

  Right, I'd forgotten. Louisa's older sister was a sixth former. I'd interacted with her once  or twice. Quite shy, not unlike Louisa herself, but nice. And that must be where Louisa got all her information about the older years from.

  "Nice, then. We can go there." I tugged at my goggles. "These are going to leave marks, aren't they?"

  "Most definitely yes," Louisa said apologetically. "But hey, everyone else in class will have them too, so it's not just you."

  "Thank god for that. They're so itchy."

  "Yes," Miss Armas' voice suddenly murmured. I glanced up, startled. Somewhere in the last few minutes she'd cleaned up the mess of the broken beaker and came to our side of the room. "It's very itchy," she agreed, "but keep them on, yeah?"

  "Of course, Miss," I laughed. "I don't want to blind myself with chemicals."

  "Good," she said with a nod. "You're done with the experiment?"

  "Just swirling it around to make sure it's mixed properly."

  "Excellent. Once you're done with that, feel free to start with the questions in your textbook. I rather suspect the rest of your peers will take a bit more time." With that, she walked away. Louisa and I glanced at each other and started giggling.

Hate Human Science as I may, I did adore Miss Armas. She wasn't the best teacher by any means, but her lessons were always fun to go through. I was never bothered, even during the days I barely understood a single thing she was saying.

  Being the excellent student I was, I started doing the questions she'd instructed me to do once we'd cleaned most of the experiment up and recorded the results (not that there was much to record in the first place).

  I was done with them when Miss Armas told everyone to start work on the questions and clean away the experiments. Louisa and I returned all our equipment and sat down to start waiting. I started flipping to the back of the textbook to read on some of the topics I hadn't learnt before. I needed the extra time. The only reason I could finish everything faster than everyone else in class was because I actually worked, while they spent half their time chatting among themselves rather than doing the work assigned. It had nothing to do with my own ability. And in an exam, when everyone would be focusing? The same situation would not be happening.

  I wanted to be great. I wanted to stand out, to be better than the rest of them. No matter what it took, I was willing to give.

  It didn't matter if it meant I had to put in a hundred times the effort. I was willing to do that, as long as it meant the end would be worth it.

  I would achieve that someday. It would be slow steps, but I intended to succeed at the end of the day. 皇天不負苦心人. Heaven did not disappoint those who worked hard. It had been my motto since I came here.

  And nothing, absolutely nothing, could pry me from that path.

  I had no time for distractions. Sebastian Hong included.