Title: 3000
Writer: Madamfrenzfries
Parts: 4
Genre: Science Fiction
Reviewed by: EroticMushroom 😉

• Cover:

As per request by some of the readers, we will show you their book cover.

Wala akong masabi kun'di, WOW! Hindi sa panglalahat pero sa cover pa lang, alam kong may pagka-fantasy-scifi na siya. By barely looking at it, napapaisip ako. . . bakit ganyan ang ilustration? Pakiramdam ko naglalakbay o lumilipad ang babae sa hindi ko masabing bagay or machine or any flat form sa ibang lugar. Hindi rin magic carpet. Lol. Sa cover pa lang mukhang strong, palaban, badass ang character ng protagonist na babae. Tingin ko rin may pagka-adventure ang book mo based sa cover. Higit sa lahat 'di ka gumamit ng face claim na KOREAN (IU). Nakakasawa ang pagmumukha nila/niya. Very unique and intriguing ang cover. Kudos sa gumawa niyan.

• Title: 3000

Unang nasa isip ko, baka taon ito na mapupuntahan niya. Parang time travel ang pinapahiwatig nito eh. Plust the tagline below, "I vow to run and chase time just to find you." Diyan pa lang medyo napaisip na ako kung time traveler ang book mo. So by that, wala akong komento kun'di ang hinahatak akong basahin siya to discover bakit 3000 ang title?

• Blurb

You started it when she received a gift from someone she doesn't know, then pinakita mo ang guy or other characters na may kakaibang aura at mukhang magkakaroon siya ng adventures with him/them. You ended it with this phrase, "She is Kendra Roberts and she'll dominate 3000."

You made a good blurb, you stated the central theme. You also created an intriguing part around the main conflict, but not showing the resolution. You introduced your protagonist, you kept it short and delivered well. 👍

Napansin ko rin sa tags ng genre na tama ang hinala ko.

• Prologue

It was clearly stated the motives of the guy to the girl, but considering the title, it is still a mystery to me.

Malinaw mo ring nailahad kung ano ang p'wedeng gawin ng babae just to go back home. Conflict was there but you convey the enough information we needed to continue reading.

• Plot:

First four chapters that were published were not enough for me to judge the entire plot. But, there is a but, in my fourteen years of reading different genres, I think I can consider your plot as one of the unique ones I've read. There are plenty of science fiction out there but this one has a complex concept, if I'm not mistaken.

Hindi dragging, hindi fast pacing. I know the start was only a part of the character build-up.

•••

Base kasi sa apat na chapter parang nag-time travel talaga siya sa mundo ng kakaibang nilalang. I can't really tell kung future 'yon or fantasy world. May robots like in the movie of Jason X or So Close 2, at may pagkaala-Resident Evil din na kaunti kung saan hinahabol niya ang oras, at higit sa lahat, may halo rin siya ng GANTZ: Perfect Answer, sa gift na nakuha ni Kendra at ito ang humigop sa kanila papunta sa ibang dimension. Tsk!

I'll definitely continue reading 'your book to know the exact concept you have. It's more like a cluster of different science fiction movies, games and books I know.

• Structure/Grammar

Honestly saying minimal lang ang nakita ko rito gaya ng:

👉 "Hahaha, Hehehe" (describe mo na lang na tumawa sila or ngumisi na parang demonyo, something like that)

👉 Double punctuation marks "?!". In formal writing, it is not acceptable. May nabasa ako dati na ganito. . . "may nakita ka na bang period followed by question mark after, or question mark then comma, or exclamation point plus period? Wala 'di ba?"

Karaniwang nagkakamali diyan ang mga author in informal writing like texting, p'wede. But in formal writing, hindi p'wede.

Kung question ang sentence but with strong feelings, use only question mark. Dagdag ka na lang ng description after the question mark that will support the strong feeling you want us to feel.

Other than that, wala na.

• Characters:

Heto na, marami kang binanggit na tauhan. Oo may unique characteristics sila. Nakikita ko naman 'yon e, pero kulang pa. Siguro dahil naka-focus kay Kendra, kay Enzo at saka kay Ashre ang spotlight. Pero at least sa four chapters especially after the birthday, nakita ko naman sila. Heto lang, kung talagang bida ang mga pinsan and friends ni Kendra, add more vivid descriptions that will really mark in our minds. Example, add more scenes, feeling, thought, past life, dreams and struggles of every characters you have. Have them different dreams, different struggles and different past. Remember the most important quality of good characters, it must have the 3 elements: past, present and future.

Next, you are already good in narration and delivery. You really know how the readers can imagine the scenes through detailed writings. Pero, heto lang ang napansin ko, I think you need to add more descriptions on their feelings. Mas iparamdam mo pa sa'min ang nararamdaman nila lalo na 'yong hinigop sila ng metal object. Nai-imagine ko ang scenes sa utak ko pero kulang pa ang connections nila sa readers. BE YOUR CHARACTER.

Describe mo pa ng husto kung paano matakot ang bida, mabilis nag tibok ng puso, pinagpapasiwan, and anything.

Siguro sa succeeding part mababasa ko na 'yan since bago pa lang ang book mo. I'm really hoping for it.

• Dialogue/Breath/Tone

I can't say anymore here. You are already good in it. Napapakita mo talaga sila sa dialogue. Mas ipakita mo lang ang emosyon nila para mas kapani-paniwala.

• Good points:

√ Good/Unique Plot
√ Good Execution
√ Detailed narration
√ Halatang hindi pabebe ang author nito unlike sa mga nauna kong nabasa na libro.

• Bad Points

√ Be your character
√ Character buildup is not enough

• Overall Feel/Suggestions

√  I know you can do it. Kaunti pa lang ang chapters mo, bawiin mo ang sinabi ko. You are already good at your age! Good luck!

Ito ang akda na hindi pinainit at inalog ang utak ko. Tsk!

• Is it something to be read of?

√ Yes! Definitely!

• Scale of 1-10

√ 7-8, minimal errors.

• Diagnosis:

√ Continue writing. Maganda na ang pagkakasulat mo, halos walang typo, mas gaganda pa 'yan kapag naging buo. 😉

• Message to everyone:

√ Hindi nabawasan ang kagwapuhan ko rito! Buti na lang. Haha! Next client, Nyang-ganda! 😘

The most handsome of them all,
~Eros aka EroticMushroom 😉