Amanda Pov

So Danny and I did talk about it, (well not entirely, but enough considering that we were on the phone), (I dunno, I have a really weird thing about talking about my feelings, especially on the phone), and I felt better than I did, (not that it was hard as I felt fucking terrified beforehand), but I still didn't feel completely safe though, (would you feel safe though if you were in my shoes?, probably not so fucking sue me then Karen), (or don't, I'm not the boss of ya here, plus I'm broke).

Did I hold Sammy while she napped so that I knew that she was safe?, yes I did, did I realise that it would've actually made no difference at all if someone were to try and actually fucking kill me?, yes I did realise this, did it matter that I knew all of the above?, no it did not, (I dunno, it just felt safer for me to hold Sammy than to not hold her).

I didn't hear the front door open, (which was weird because you can't not hear the front door as it's noisy as shit), so when Danny came through, well I was surprised to say the least, ya know, not that he was normally noisy or anything, but the front door did squeak a bit, (plus he was home early from work, so I was really surprised that I didn't hear him).

"Babe"
"You're home early"
"Yeah well I knew that you were really worried about it, despite what you said to me on the phone, and I know that I'm kind of shit at, well, emotions, especially negative ones, but I thought that it would be better than if you were alone with your thoughts"

I did not know how I got so lucky with the fact that I had the most understanding husband that you could find, (I still don't really know how I got so lucky with him but I ain't jinxing shit here, ok), sure, he wasn't the best with emotions but he does try, bless him.

"It's just so stupid-"
"It's not stupid, you've told me enough about what your step Dad did to you that I would kill him if I ever saw him, and your Mom is just as bad for letting him do all that to you"
"Yeah but-"
"No, we're not doing that right now"

Danny lead me to the couch, as I guess that he was worried about me just standing there with Sammy in my arms, which I don't blame him for to be honest with you here, (as I was not in a great place emotionally to be honest), plus I was still bloody wreaked from Sammy not sleeping the night before, (though that was due to Sammy teething so there's that to consider).

Danny sat on the couch with me and just held me while I rode out all the emotions that I was feeling at that time, (which I needed and was definitely grateful for, ya know), it didn't make me feel better about the fact that I knew that I was being paranoid about being found by anyone back in Essex, but I did feel a bit safer with Danny there, (don't ask me why that worked for me, as I don't bloody know how, I just know that it did work).

It was probably a couple of hours later, (I say probably because I was not keeping track of the bloody time here, ok), (it's not something that you would keep track of while feeling paranoid here, ya know), I was feeling quite tired, but I didn't know if that was from the paranoia, or if it was from Sammy not sleeping the night before, (I know that this option might not really make sense considering that I'm an insomniac, but bloody sue me), or, (this will be the last or for now), the emotions have just made me fucking tired.

"How are you feeling now Babe?"
"Tired, but I think that's to be expected though"
"True, right, what do you want for dinner?"
"Uh, I don't know, I'm not really fussed, just as long as it's not Mac'n'cheese, as that shit is disgusting"
"(Snorts), Don't worry, Mac'n'cheese isn't in my wheelhouse of things that I can cook"
"Good, we all know that it's bloody disgusting it is always"
"(Snorts), I guess that you had a bad experience with it then?"
"No, just didn't like it when I tried it"
"Fair enough then"

Yes, talking about my unreasonable request of not eating Mac-n-cheese, but sometimes Danny goes into other food places, as I guess that he feels ready for something, but I'm not sure as I'm not an expert here, ok babes.