Amanda Pov

It was the day of Danny's Dad's funeral, the church was quite bloody packed, and before you ask about me being an atheist in church, since there's a whole arse superstition around a non believer going into church being struck down by lightning or something like that, (that could've been fear mongering by my Mother though, so take that titbit with a grain of salt, ok), regardless of that fact though, I went as moral support for Danny, as you do when you're married, (plus it would look bad if I didn't go and I actually quite liked Danny's Dad).

They sung some hymns, (as that's a very churchy thing to do), which I actually knew them all, (my Mother was a Catholic, so that's why I knew them), (look those hymns are properly ingrained into my brain, I would forget them if I could), (as I've spent far too much time to get rid of theses bloody hymns from my brain), I'm not 100% certain of what was said at the funeral as I just blocked it out of my memory, (I know that sounds bad, but that was honestly just a coping mechanism here babes, I promise).

Anyway we got home from the church, emotions were flying high, (being around death does that to you though), and I didn't know what I was supposed to do here, (as I wasn't really around death as a child), (as I had nobody that really cared about me, therefore nobody that I cared about could have died, sad I know), but that was decided for me as Danny had started to cry again, (I hope that I can avoid another funeral if possible).

He cried for a while, (I wasn't exactly timing it as that would have been a weird fucking thing for me to do while comforting my husband), (plus I'm not a fucking arsehole here), so I just held him for a while as I couldn't reassure him that shit was ok, (plus he had just lost the only decent parent he had and I didn't want to accidentally tell him to hurry up his mourning of his Dad here, ya know), but I honestly felt like I lying to him a bit as I didn't know shit about the future.

"Do you want a coffee?"
"Sure"
"Yeah, I was debating on wether or not I should even be offering coffee to you, but then who the fuck am I to gatekeep the intake of caffeine?"
"(Snorts), I wouldn't know Babe"

So I went and made both of our respective hot drinks, (as ya do), I waited for the kettle to do its thing, (and yes, I got it shipped from the uk, because why the fuck didn't America have a bloody kettle before this?), (yes, the cost of customs was fucking ridiculous but I was not going to not have a kettle because of this said cost here), after the kettle did it's thing, I made the hot drinks and I brought them over, (a shit description I know but fucking sue me Karen).

So we sat there for a while, drinking our respective hot drinks, (fuck!, I'm really shit at describing things here, aren't I?, Jesus Christ), I guess that drinking hot drinks together is healing for the soul or something like that, (don't quote me though as I'm just an Essex girlie, ok), (aka, please don't fucking sue me if this doesn't work for you).

Danny was a bit sleepy, (maybe because of the day it was but I don't entirely know), (I know that when I get emotional that I can get tired, but I don't know if that's an actual thing or not), so I let him take a nap, (which might not have been one of my better ideas, but fucking sue me, I'm not an expert), not that I could've woken him up anyway, as Danny's quite a heavy sleeper, ya know.

So I grabbed some blankets and stuff like that because Danny wasn't going to wake up any time soon, plus I thought that he might've napped better with a blanket over him, (again, I'm not a bloody expert here, I'm just an Essex girlie trying her best and probably failing here, ok), so I draped the blanket over him and hoped that Danny taking a nap helped him here.

Danny slept for a good couple of hours on the couch, (which I was somewhat surprised by, as it was such an emotional day and all), (though maybe I shouldn't of been that surprised here as he can fall asleep anywhere and everywhere), but all I could do was drink some tea and be ready to console Danny, (not that I'd be great at it, but I tried here).