TW: self harm & indirect self harm, reminders of rape, sexualization, self berating,

DO NOT READ IF YOURE NOT COMFORTABLE.

Kurama picked Naruto up— yes, a five foot nine fifteen year old who weighed one hundred and fifty-three pounds— and carried him to the room. Sasuke, although curiosity, anxiety and worry were eating him alive, he stayed where he was, feeling it was best to not interfere with things he didn't know about.

Upstairs, Naruto was clawing at Kurama's back and arms, muttering to himself about how it was all his fault. Kurama let him, let him dig his fingers into his skin and the let blood prick. He knew it wasn't the same to Naruto as doing it to himself, but Naruto didn't need to hurt himself, not when Kurama was willing to take the pain for him.

Naruto was on Kurama's lap, an arm hooked around his neck as he trembled uncontrollably. His breaths came in ragged gasps, each one more labored than the last. Kurama's heart ached as he felt Naruto's nails dig deeper into his flesh, but he held him tighter, murmuring soothing words.

"It's not your fault, Naruto," Kurama whispered, his voice steady and calm despite the turmoil around them. "None of this is your fault."

Naruto shook his head violently, tears streaming down his face. "No, no, no, no, it is, it is. It's all my fault. And everyone knows, and— and Sasuke knows... Sasuke knows. He knows it's my fault. He knows, everyone knows. I'm dirty, I'm so dirty, no one wants someone who's been touched by others, no one wants—" Naruto's left arm unraveled from Kurama and rested on his forearms, scratching at the skin while his right hand was at his chin, his fingers in his mouth as he scraped at the skin with his teeth.

Kurama gently removed his hand from his arm, placing it on his own. His fingers pushed past Naruto's, shoving them out of the way. Naruto began to bite on the tips of Kurama's fingers but quickly swatted his hand away, going back to his own.

"Come on, Kid, we've talked about this. It's me or nothing," he told him, nudging his knuckle back past his lips. Tears fell down Naruto's face as he held onto Kurama's wrist, biting harder on the keratin, letting his teeth grind against it. It wasn't the same, it'd never be the same, but Kurama wasn't going to let Naruto hurt himself more than he already had, so Naruto had to suffice with what he was able to do.

Kurama winced as he felt Naruto's tooth catch under his nail, lifting it slightly. That's what Naruto was trying to do: rip the nail off. And Kurama couldn't do anything but let him.

"You can't tie a knot," Naruto repeated under his breath. "You can't tie a knot with used rope. With used rope, with a broken rope... you can't—" he shakily parroted. "You can't. With used rope, you can't tie a knot." He went back to his own skin, blood spotting as his nails ran against it before Kurama could stop him.

When Kurama finally did try to move his hand, Naruto started screaming at him, pushing off of him and hitting him wherever he could. Kurama looked at him as he scratched at his skin, taking off his shirt as well. "They're on me, they're on me! Get them off! Kurama, please," he finally looked at him, both of their faces wet with tears.

Kurama didn't know whether or not he should touch Naruto— he didn't. This hadn't happened for a couple of years. Naruto swore he was over it. Kurama knew it wasn't the truth, and Naruto got bad, but never bad like this. Not since the beginning.

"Make it stop, please make it stop. I can't, I can't do this. Don't touch me. Don't fucking touch me!"

Kurama hadn't tried to.

"I deserve it. I deserved it. I deserved everything that happened. It's all my fault. No one," he wiped his tears, "Not with a broken rope. Don't touch me!"

He hit Kurama.

Kurama hadn't moved.

"I'm so dirty, I'm so disgusting. I'm disgusting. I deserved it. It was my fault. It's all my fault, and everyone knows. Everyone knows I'm disgusting."

"No one knows, Naruto, it's okay. You're not disgusting. No one thinks you're disgusting. Nothing that happened is your fault. None of it is, Naruto."

"I'm disgusting, I'm filthy. I'm filthy! I can't get clean. I can't get it out of my head. It's always there, they're always there!" Naruto's voice cracked, his words coming out in a desperate, broken sob.

Kurama's heart shattered at the sight of Naruto in such agony. He kept his voice soft and steady, though every fiber of his being screamed to pull Naruto into a tight hug. "They're dead, Naruto. You survived because you're stronger than them. No one can bother you, I'll protect you from anything, okay?"

Naruto shook his head vehemently, still clawing at his own skin as if trying to scrape away the memories, scrape away the feeling of their hands on him. "You don't get it! Everyone knows!"

Kurama's voice remained calm, but his eyes were teary and filled with sympathy. "No one knows, Naruto. I'm sorry I don't get it, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from it all. I'm sorry I failed. It's all my fault, okay? Not yours. None of it is your fault; blame it all on me. It's my fault."

"I'm dirty, I'm so dirty, I'm disgusting."

"Let's go take a shower. You'll be all clean. Come on, Naruto. It'll be okay."

Naruto sat on the floor of the shower as the water poured over him. His knees were tucked in to his chest, his face hidden as he mumbled to himself.

Kurama knelt beside the shower, his clothes soaked through but paying it no mind. The water cascaded over Naruto, mixing with his tears as he continued to mumble incoherently. Kurama's heart ached at the sight, but he knew he had to stay calm, for Naruto's sake.

"Naruto," Kurama said gently, his voice barely audible over the sound of the water. "You're safe now. No one can hurt you here. Just breathe, okay? Focus on your breathing."

Naruto rocked back and forth, his eyes shut tight, his words still a jumbled mess. "I can't... I can't stop it. It won't go away.. Not with a broken rope, you can't, Kurama."

Kurama carefully reached out, touching Naruto's shoulder with a light, reassuring hand. "Kushina spouts bullshit like her life depends on it. You're not dirty, Naruto. You're hurting, and that's okay. It's okay to hurt. Just try to breathe with me. In and out. Slowly."

Naruto's breath hitched, but he tried to match Kurama's slow, steady breathing. Kurama kept his hand on Naruto's shoulder, a grounding touch in the chaos of his mind.

"You're doing great, Naruto. Just keep breathing. I'm here, okay?"

Minutes passed, and Naruto's breathing gradually began to slow, the mumbling quieting to soft whimpers. Kurama stayed by his side, offering his silent support. He knew words could only do so much, and right now, Naruto needed to feel that he wasn't alone.

"Is there something you want? What can I do to make you feel better?" Kurama asked.

Naruto looked up, his eyes lifeless and drained. "Sasuke..."

Kurama furrowed his eyebrows.

"Sasuke knows..."

He shook his head no. "Sasuke doesn't know, Naruto. I promise, he doesn't know. Can you trust me?"

Naruto hesitantly nodded, laying his head back on his knees. "I want him..." he mumbled.

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"I want him," Naruto repeated, his voice a little more sure than before.

Kurama paused, thinking about his options. There was a chance Naruto would freak out on Sasuke as well, and while Kurama could always intervene, it'd definitely place a strain on their relationship, which he knew would affect Naruto.

"Why do you want him?"

Naruto looked up again, quickly looking away after he saw Kurama.

"Okay. Naruto, if you're going to drop again, I'm forcing you to switch, I hope you know that."

Naruto nodded in agreement.

Kurama sighed as he brushed his hair off of his face. "What am I gonna do with you?"

Kurama walked downstairs to see Sasuke sitting on the couch with Mito's arms wrapped around him. Minato was pacing back and forth while Sai and Menma talked quietly. As soon as Minato saw Kurama, he rushed over, concern etched on his face.

"Kurama, how is he?" Minato asked urgently, his voice trembling slightly. "Is Naruto okay? I heard from the others what happened."

Kurama took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "He's better than before, but he's trying to calm down."

Minato nodded, relief and worry battling for dominance in his expression. "I'm sorry... I'm such a shit father. I'm sorry it's always up to you to take care of my son and I don't know how to help.

Kurama placed a reassuring hand on Minato's shoulder. "You can't control it. Naruto knows that you're trying your hardest and he doesn't want your help, he might talk to you someday, but you can't push him for it."

Sasuke, hearing the conversation, disentangled himself from Mito and stood up. "Can I see him?"

Kurama looked at him, debating changing his mind before he decided to just listen to Naruto. "Yeah, that's why I came down here." He looked at Minato. "I'll talk to you in a little bit, Mina, don't start spiraling."

Minato, upon hearing his words, started tearing up as he nodded.

As Sasuke followed Kurama up the stairs, he felt the pressure settling in. Did he do something to Naruto? Were they going to break up? They couldn't break up. They just got together.

Kurama went in the room first, telling Sasuke to wait a moment.

Sasuke leaned against the wall, trying to steady his breathing. His mind raced with worst-case scenarios, each one more dire than the last. What if Naruto was hurt? What if he was sick? What if...

Kurama finally opened the door, motioning for Sasuke to enter. "He's in here. Just... be patient with him. And... try not to touch him too much, please."

Sasuke nodded and stepped into the room. Naruto was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor. His usual demeanor was replaced with a shadow of doubt and uncertainty.

"Naruto?" Sasuke called softly, closing the door behind him. Naruto looked up, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with a mix of fear and confusion.

"Sasuke," Naruto whispered, his voice cracking. "I...I don't know what to do."

Sasuke crossed the room in a few quick strides, kneeling in front of Naruto and taking his hands. "Hey, it's okay. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out together."

Naruto shook his head, tears spilling down his cheeks. "What if... what if you don't want to be with me anymore?"

A breath caught in Sasuke's throat at the sight of Naruto so vulnerable. "What? Naruto, why would you think that?"

"I just... I feel like I'm not good enough for you," Naruto admitted, his voice barely audible.

Sasuke cupped Naruto's face in his hands, forcing him to meet his gaze. "Naruto, you're everything to me. I don't care what Kushina said, none of it is true. She can't say shit about you because she doesn't know you, she doesn't me, and she doesn't know us. I love you, Naruto. I've always loved you. I'm always going to."

Naruto's tears flowed more freely now, but he nodded, the tiniest flicker of hope returning to his eyes. "I'm sorry. Please don't leave me."

Sasuke stood up as he pulled Naruto into a tight embrace, holding him as if he could shield him from all his fears. If only it were that easy. "There's nothing to apologize for, and I'm not going anywhere. I just got you, why would I let you go? You're mine, forever and always. You don't have a say in the matter, okay?"

Naruto nodded, pulling Sasuke onto the bed and burying his face in his chest.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

There was. Naruto wanted Sasuke to touch him; he was craving it. Craving the attention. The need to feel Sasuke's skin against his, show him that he loves him in the only way Naruto knew. He wanted Sasuke to be attracted to him but he knew he couldn't take it if Sasuke were to actually touch him. So he kept his mouth shut.

"Just kiss me, please," he mumbled, scooting up a little on the bed.

Sasuke softly smiled, his reaction delayed. He knew that this wasn't like Naruto asking for a normal kiss, but he wanted to make Naruto happy in any way he could. He gently lifted Naruto's chin, bringing their lips together in a soft, reassuring kiss.

Naruto melted into the kiss, feeling the warmth and comfort radiating from Sasuke. Sasuke deepened the kiss, his hands moving to cradle Naruto's face. The world outside the room faded away, leaving just the two of them in their shared moment.

As they kissed, Sasuke could feel the tension in Naruto's body slowly easing. He pulled Naruto closer, their bodies pressing together. Naruto's hands found their way to Sasuke's back, gripping his shirt as if anchoring himself to reality.

Sasuke broke the kiss for a moment, resting his forehead against Naruto's. "I love you, Naruto," he whispered, his breath mingling with Naruto's.

Naruto's eyes opened and Sasuke realized he was crying again. "What's wrong? Do you want to stop?", Sasuke asked worriedly.

Naruto shook his head no. "Please don't stop, I love you," he whispered as he went to kiss Sasuke again.

Sasuke leaned in again a little more hesitant, capturing Naruto's lips against his own. This time, the kiss was more urgent on Naruto's part, filled with unspoken promises and unyielding love. Sasuke's hands roamed over Naruto's back, pulling him even closer.

Naruto responded eagerly, his fingers tangling in Sasuke's hair. The sensation of Sasuke's touch, his warmth, and his love, was exactly what Naruto needed. There was still that voice, telling him Sasuke knew and he wouldn't want him, but Naruto ignored it, focusing on Sasuke's tongue sliding against his own.

He remembered how Sasuke's tongue felt on a different part of him, how loved it made Naruto feel. How Sasuke got off on doing that, making Naruto feel good. He remembered how Sasuke told him he loves him, confessed his feelings to him. He remembered how Sasuke has always shown Naruto every part of him, regardless of the good or bad.

He really does love Sasuke so much.

They continued to kiss, losing themselves in the moment. Sasuke's lips trailed down to Naruto's neck, planting gentle kisses along his jawline and collarbone. Naruto shivered at the touch, a soft moan escaping his lips.

"You're everything to me, Naruto," Sasuke murmured against his skin. "Never doubt that, okay, baby?"

Naruto's heart swelled with emotion, and he pulled Sasuke back up for another deep kiss.

Naruto's mind blanked—for better or for worse— the only thought he could muster up was that Sasuke was such a good kisser. Sasuke was messy, sure. He liked licking and biting, of course, but that made it all the more important to Naruto. Sasuke giving him what he wants, allowing him to mark him as his territory, even halfway doing the same—that's what Naruto liked.

He felt Sasuke smile into the kiss, nipping at his tongue. "Naruto?"

Naruto hummed in response, not letting Sasuke pull back far enough to have a conversation. He didn't want to talk. He just wanted to feel. That was it.

But Sasuke pulled back, covering Naruto's mouth with his hand. The blond took the opportunity to kiss the pads of his fingers, dragging the digits into his mouth and running his piercing along them.

"Just a question, but, do you know that I'm a bottom?" He watched Naruto slip his tongue in between his fingers and he allowed his thumb to press against the barbell.

Naruto nodded wordlessly, his eyes closing as he let Sasuke do what he wanted. Naruto definitely knew. He's heard— he's seen, coincidentally, how much Sasuke likes bottoming. And even if Naruto was ever going to bottom in his entire life, he wouldn't, because how could he when Sasuke Uchiha looks and sounds like that when he feels good? He'd have to be crazy—more crazy than he already is.

"Are you... also a bottom?" Naruto's eyes widened and looked at Sasuke before shaking his head no. "Never," he said softly, his voice filled with conviction.

Sasuke smiled, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. "Got it," he said, his tone lightening.

"So... this— what we have, even what we're doing now. Is that.. something you're into?" Naruto shrugged and Sasuke sighed, feeling stupid for asking. "Do you want to talk about this another time?" Naruto nodded.

He withdrew his hand from Naruto's mouth, wiping the spit off on his pants before cradling Naruto's face again. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Naruto nodded, feeling the weight of Sasuke's words. "I know," he whispered, leaning into Sasuke's touch. "I just... I get scared sometimes."

"Of what?" Sasuke asked gently, brushing a stray strand of hair from Naruto's face.

"Of losing you," Naruto admitted, his voice barely audible. "Of not being enough."

Sasuke paused at Naruto's confession. "You are more than enough, Naruto. You're everything to me. And you're not going to lose me. Ever."

Naruto's eyes filled with tears again, but this time they were tears of relief. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against Sasuke's shoulder. "I love you," he murmured, his voice heavy with exhaustion.

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto, holding him close. "You look tired," he said softly. "Why don't you get some rest?"

Naruto nodded, his eyelids drooping as he fought to stay awake. "Will you stay with me?" he asked, his voice a mere whisper.

"Of course," Sasuke replied, gently guiding Naruto to lay with him on a pillow. He lay down beside him, pulling the blanket over them both. "I'll be right here."

Naruto snuggled closer to Sasuke, his head resting on Sasuke's chest. The steady rhythm of Sasuke's heartbeat was a comforting lullaby, and within moments, Naruto's breathing evened out as he drifted off to sleep.

Sasuke watched him for a while, his fingers gently stroking Naruto's hair. He felt a surge of protectiveness and love for the blond in his arms. Sasuke didn't know what was wrong with Naruto. He's always known there was something, but it seemed that whatever it was was rooted deeper than Sasuke thought.

As the minutes passed, Sasuke's own eyelids grew heavy. He pressed a soft kiss to Naruto's forehead before closing his eyes, allowing sleep to claim him as well.

Tbccccc