Sasuke's pov

Two fucking weeks. Naruto left for two weeks the day after that night. It wasn't for medicinal reasons either because he always tells me when it is for that, meaning he just ran off to get away from me. It's this reason why I can't be in a relationship with him, he runs when there's any sort of development in our relationship and it kills me.

I did what I did every time he did something like this: rotted in my room until my mom forced me out of it.

"Sasuke, he's just a boy, you can't keep doing this to yourself," she sighed as she hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her tighter. Naruto wasn't just a boy, he was my boy and he's everything I've ever wanted, he's the only person I've ever wanted and the only person I'll ever want. "Does this have something to do with your hickies?"

I forgot to cover those up when she saw me the next day and it definitely raised plenty of questions. Naruto had tore my neck up. It was riddled with bruises and bite marks. The only thing was that the teeth marks didn't match up all the way with Naruto's. Some of them were spaced differently, but maybe it was just a weird angle—we were sitting down and everything.

"I don't know why he always runs away from me..." I mumbled, wiping my eyes.

"Maybe he's not ready to deal with what happened between you two," she suggested.

That's the thing though, he's never ready. "He never is though, mom! He always does this! I hate him!"

She laughed a little, "You know that's not true, Pumpkin. You know that the next time he smiles at you you're gonna be just as in love with him and have completely forgiven him." She's right, but still! He's so mean to me!!

"Mikoto?"

I wiped my eyes upon hearing the voice, flying from my mother's chest to my pillow to hide. I covered myself with the blanket, trying to still my heart seeing as it was ready to jump out my chest and go smother him with kisses and praise.

"Ah, Naruto, we were just talking about you. Well, Sasuke," she nudged my leg, "I'll leave you two be."

I heard the door close and it got quiet.

"We have a mission coming up. I saw Sakura on the way here and she told me to tell you since she hasn't since you for a couple weeks. What's up with that?"

His voice was smooth and just as perfect as I remembered. I really love him so much. I don't know why; he always hurts me but I can't stop myself from running back to him and continuing as if nothing happened.

I know he remembers it too. Naruto doesn't drink, he never drinks when he's with me because he's always taking care of me. He doesn't say that but I know it's the reason because he's even more clingy when I'm drinking which is why I can't believe I made a mistake like that and kissed him. Or... did he kiss me??

No, that doesn't make sense. Of all the times I've been drinking, Naruto's never taken advantage of me like that, or in any way possible, ever. He's only ever made advances when I was fully cognizant of everything that was going on. He's never done anything I didn't want. He's always stopped when I seriously asked him to. There's no way Naruto would do that to me. I'm so stupid.

"I just don't feel good..." I told him, still hiding under the blanket.

He came and sat next to me, rubbing my leg, "You wanna tell me about it? Are you having another episode?"

I'll admit, I'm mildly mentally ill. It's nothing serious, I'm just under a lot of pressure sometimes and I tend to crack and fall from society for a while. Which Naruto knows about.

"Have you been eating? How long has this been happening?", he asked. I could hear how worried he was.

I peeked out from the blanket to see his expression, "I'm not having an episode, I'm okay. I promise."

He smiled a little as we locked eyes, "That's good. I'm glad you're okay. I don't want you to ever go through anything, but I'd rather me be there for you if you do. The mission is tomorrow morning, want me to help you pack?"

I nodded, too embarrassed to say anything else. I know tho is my fault, but it doesn't make sense, he's just going to act like nothing happened?? Whatever. Since that's what he wants, that can happen. It's whatever.

He squeezed my leg and turned away, "Okay, baby, get some rest, I'll bring you some food when I'm done with this."

This is why I always forgive him. He's just so sweet. He's perfect. I always want to let myself fall in love with him to the point of no return but just as I let myself go he does something that makes me not trust him and then he starts the process all over again. It's torture.

I sighed softly, watching him go through my drawers to look for clothes. My mind was a whirlwind of emotions and doubts. I couldn't shake off the feeling of that night, the kiss that shouldn't have happened. It was a mistake, a lapse in judgment, but the fact that Naruto was acting like nothing was wrong made it even more confusing.

After a few minutes, I forced myself to get out of bed and start helping him pack. My hands moved mechanically, grabbing gear and essentials, but my mind was elsewhere. I kept replaying the events over and over, trying to find a clue, something that would make sense of it all but there was nothing.

Sometime during this, Naruto had disappeared and returned with a bowl of food.

"Sit down and eat, I'll finish this up, okay? I told you I had it, you don't need to do anything. Just take care of yourself," he sat me down and put the bowl in my hands.

As I ate, Naruto busied himself with packing, his movements efficient and purposeful. He looked so sweet... I admired him for that, for being so strong and reliable while I was feet away crumbling. Yet, it also reminded me of how vulnerable I felt around him. How one word from him would send my heart crashing into my ribs, begging to be let free.

Naruto finished before I had so he sat down next to me on the bed and took the bowl from me. He leaned against the headboard and mixed up my food, trying to avoid my eyes as long as possible.

"I'm sorry for disappearing like that. I felt really bad so I had to go out of town again. You were busy and I could tell you didn't feel like talking to me so I didn't want to bother you. Regardless of the situation, I should've been the bigger person and told you what was happening, I'm sorry. I keep making promises to you that I'll change and treat you how you deserve, but I don't. I'm sorry I keep losing your trust and breaking promises. I can't say I'll stop because I know it'll happen again and I don't want to lie to you."

He held the spoon up to my mouth and I opened it. I quickly chewed my food so I could speak.

"Naruto, how do you feel about me?" I asked. I know what he's going to say. He's going to say he loves me and how much I mean to him. We've had this conversation before and he never tells me how he truly feels.

He put his head back and sighed, "Sasuke, you fucking kill me." Oh. That's new. I took the bowl from him and put it on my nightstand. He took this opportunity to lay his head on my lap. He took my hand and put it on his head. This is really new.

"You drive me entirely insane and I'm sorry I'm not honest with you. I know you think I only started this because I felt bad about what happened, but that's not true. I've always been in love with you, since we first met, I just didn't know it. And that's not an excuse for how I treated you or what happened after that, but my feelings for you didn't appear out of nowhere. I just hadn't realized what they were because you've made me feel something that I've never come close to feeling before. Sasuke, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but before I met you, I was planning something really, really bad. I've been miserable before, I've been at rock bottom for longer than I can remember, but nothing compares to how I feel when something's wrong with you. I'm saying all this now because despite his much I show you I love you and how much I try to appreciate everything you let me do with you, you're cruel to me."

He hid his face in legs, wiping his face on the blanket. "The worst part is, I doubt you even know what I'm talking about," he laughed, sniffling a little. "I've been losing my mind these past two weeks. I really don't know what to do about you. I want you to be happy but I can't let you go, even if that is what you want."

He looked up at me and I saw his watery eyes. Is he crying? "You have to be mine, I'll die without you, Sasuke."

I couldn't stop my heart from pounding into my chest, my skin felt like it was on fire. But I can't be in a relationship with him. He has to know that. "Naruto... we can't be together. I'm sorry for leading you on.. but my feelings on the matter haven't changed... I'm sorry, I'm just not ready." I feel like shit. I'm a horrible person, I know, I hate this.

"Do you love me? No— do you like me? Please be honest." He looked up at me with needy eyes, waiting for my response.

I loved every part of Naruto. I loved him even after everything he's done and if my heart had the entire say, I'd be with him no matter what he did to me, but my brain was in control and it wouldn't give it up.

"I do," I mouthed. I couldn't bring myself to say it because it'd be too real to me then. Naruto smiled nonetheless, "Okay. Then I'll wait as long as you need me to, as long as you don't stop loving me, or, liking me... sorry."

He sat up and looked at me. I narrowed my eyes and he smiled again, "Get up and get ready, we're gonna go out and walk around town. You look like you need some light."

Tbcccc