In that place, time was marked by the coming of meals and the medications. Never was there anything good, anything that would lift the spirits. The only freedom was fetching a drink in the plastic cups. There was status in being able to wear your own clothes, for the masses wandered the wide corridors in pajamas. faces wiped clean by the medications.

" Mom, will you be alright? This is a years program, I'll be in college when you get out." I ask in a concerned voice. 

" Yeah, I know." She says as she finishes the paperwork.

" Listen to what they have to say, it'll be hard, but you'll get through it," I say as I get up, looking around at the gloomy place. " Bye for now." The hug was a perfunctory gesture mandated by social etiquette and colder than day old oatmeal. It was short where it should belong, rigid instead of soft and ended as abruptly as it had begun.

" Bye for now dear." The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. I feel the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child and I look toward the window as if the light could soothe me. I hear my own sounds, like a distressed child, raw from the inside. It takes something out of me I didn't know I had left to give. That's the way it is when people are hard. It's like a theft of the spirit, an injury no other person can see.

" Mom, please get better!" I say catching my breath.

" I will, now be a good girl and stop crying, be free like the notes you play."  Mom says wiping away my tears. I nod my head in agreement, I get myself together and we part our ways. Walking into my empty house, looking around at the dirty and gloomy living room I stand there. I pick up a beer can, then an empty tobacco tin. I start cleaning the living room, garbage bags start piling up next to the front door. I open the front window letting some fresh air get in, taking down the dirty curtains. 

" Hello, is anyone here?" I hear a familiar voice coming from the front door. I go to the front door seeing Jackie. 

" Hello?" I ask wiping my sweat off my forehead. " Hey, what are you doing here Jackie?"

" I wanted to talk to you..." She says standing there, I let her walk in. " I broke up with Joanna... And I don't really know what to do, I know were all friends and I hope to stay that way but I just can't face him anymore. I feel like I really hurt him. I know I sound like a total bitch right now, but I need your support. Tell me something will ya? Were you ever in love?" She asks wiping a tear that fell on her cheek. 

" Umm... no, I haven't. But let me tell you this, Joanna probably is really heart broken like you said, I think he's one of the few good guys out there who really care about admiration, love. How did you guys even fasten up anyways? He wasn't even at school for a month, no don't even answer that. I'm kinda upset to see a friend heart broken, and not having my friends together either." I say, saying everything on my mind in two short breaths.

" I understand... Do you think he'll forgive me?" She asks I stand there dumbfounded for a minute.

" I don't know I'm not him. I guess you would have to see and find out..." I say and point over to his house through the room. " Talk to him or something, I'm sorry I'm just not in the mood to talk right now... Can you please leave?" I ask feeling claustrophobic all of the sudden, she looks at me in surprise at my sudden mood swing, she mouths 'okay' and she leaves. 

I watch her leave, I throw out the trash bags and a kitten comes next to my feet. The kitten holds her head like she's the born ruler of the universe, yet the wobble in her walk shows she isn't yet in full command of her own limbs. She mews with the same newness that newborn baby cries, high pitched yet still soft, unable to project the volume more developed lungs can muster. I bend down and start to bet the kitten, as it strong purr fills me with warmth. I pick it up finding out that it's a girl. The kitten is a new spark of life in softest fur. Her eyes tell of pure energy tempered by an undercurrent of nervousness. She leaps with the sudden pounce of a tiger, gaining confidence and accuracy. It won't be long before she's pure cat, independent and sassy, the queen of her human subjects. Not yet, though, not yet. She's still a little girl trying on mama's shoes, sitting to lick herself like she's a year old already, losing her balance and trying to look like she meant to do it.

" Where's your mother?" I ask and she tilts her head to the side, and the book 'Are you my mother' pops into my head and I chuckle at my thought. I open up the door and she follows me inside, I look down to her. " I guess it would be okay if you stay here, but you're getting a bath," I add and I pick her up, in the laundry rooms sink I start a warm bath, as I bath her I start thinking about names. As soon as I open up my mouth to say a name my phone buzzes. I dry off my hand and pick up my phone answering a phone call.

" Heyy..." Joanna says and then he goes silent.

" Hey, are you busy?" I ask, excited to tell him about the kitten.

" No, I'm not." he answers.

" Could you come over, I wanna show you something?" I ask eagerly. 

" Sure, I'll be right over." He says, in no time he was over he knocked on the door and I yelled for him to come in, and we played a short fun game of Marco polo till he found me in the laundry room.