The monochrome clown was beginning to look impatient. It showed on his face - and by the way he was scratching a deep groove into the arm of his wooden chair.

"So Eyeless Copycat mentally told you some things about getting attacked before Smiley knocked him out for surgery?"

"That is correct, child."

There was a very awkward pause. In the meantime, Jeff was kneeling on the floor, struggling to yank out another piece of taffy from the goo. The sounds that he was making were quite... Suggestive.

Laughing Jack fidgeted with one of his wrist bandages.

"... And?"

Slenderman gave an eyeless blink of confusion. "And what, child?"

Over the sound of Jeff's grunting, L.J's hand connected with his own forehead to create "le epic facepalm." He did well.

"What did that kidney eater say- show- broadcast into your brain?"

"Oh! Oh! Of course - let me show you!"

And then L.J's head filled with static. He groaned loudly and massaged his forehead, slipping straight out of reality faster than BEN's public image after the twerking craze.

This is a flashback. Echoed helpfully in his mind, making him feel like his head was hollow and empty as a pyromaniac's paper cupboard.

He wasn't himself anymore. He was E.J, sneakily creeping across a rooftop terrace under the cold moonlight, whether he liked it or not.

-Why can't this be in third person? The clown complained, mentally.-
-Shut up and watch, Slenderman stated, mentally.-

Thunder flashed dramatically through the dazzling sky. Rain fell like luminous lines of water, setting a bizzarely convenient atmosphere for the scene.

-This atmosphere is bizarrely convenient... L.J trailed off, mentally.-
-Once again, he was mentally scolded and told to shut up and watch.-

So he did. He watched as, in the nonexistent eyes of E.J, a solo silhouette crouching on the rooftop of an apartment complex. A massive caped cloak billowed behind them.

"Halt! Doth not travel through the path of thorns without a blade to guide thee! Wield thy blade and face me in combat!" The cloaked figure announced.

Xir nimbly jumped straight from the roof to meet him face-to-face.

"I shall fight until my last breath!" E.J announced, suddenly hoisting up a massive sword.

As the lightning came crashing down to earth in a mighty thunderclap, their swords collided and a rift split open upon the shackled ground. Which defied the physics of a rooftop altogether.

E.J and the stranger both recoiled in an impossibly large leap, before charging at each other with echoing battle screams. Sparks flew as their swords shattered upon impact.

By now, L.J was just sitting back and regarding the scene with nothing but skepticism. Whatever Slenderman had been reading/watching beforehand seemed to have gone to his brain a little too much.

And it was effecting the mental recall in very bizzare ways, turning it into a quite literal mental recall indeed.

Just as the stranger decended upon E.J to inflict a fatal blow, everything cleared with a flash of lightning. He was still standing on the roof - his opponent was still crouched in waiting.

"-And that's what will happen if you don't get out for here right now!" E.J called out, above the howling winds.

"I WiLL rEtUrN oNE dAY, MY DarLiNG BELLa!" The stranger vowed, before they were sucked up by a beam of light from the UFO above, which swirled away and into the cloudy skies.

"No! Edward, come back! I LOVE YOU!" E.J sobbed, before he promptly slipped on the wet ground, flopped headfirst over the rooftop railing and plummeted to his death.

With an impatient sigh, L.J popped the mental bubble with one of his sharp claws.  Then he laced his hands together behind his head and gave the creepypasta in front of him a flat look.

Slenderman sheepishly wrung his tentacles together. "Perhaps that wasn't my most accurate retelling..."

Jeff sat on his haunches and wiped the sweat from his forehead, looking up at them both as if they were nuts. Which, to be fair, they were.

"Oi! L.J! You made all this mess - why don't ya help me tidy it up?!"

The monochrome clown dipped his head far back and tipped his chair too. He balanced precariously, just staring blankly at Jeff with a vacant expression.

"Wanna say that again, bleachy boy?"

Jeff stumbled back and fell on his arse, thoroughly freaked out. "Y-You look like a lifeless ragdoll! Stop it!"

L.J barely moved his lips. "StOp wHaT?"

A loud pop resounded within the confines of the study.

Jeff's brain had exploded.

Nah, just kidding.

It was just the sound of one of the taffies coming loose, since he'd been winding it around his hand for some unexplainable reason.

The tension - and L.J's fun - were both thoroughly ruined. Oh, and the crazy killer ended up stuck inside a pile of gooey candy when he fell back. It wasn't even pervy.

Slenderman's head was tilted down. He was privately reading one of the Twilight books, which was concealed on his lap. Everyone else just thought the faceless creepypasta was nuts.

"You're nuts," L.J stated, returning his seat to its normal position with a thump.

"Why, thank you child." Slendy wasn't paying attention and just waved him off.

Another awkward pause ensured. And by some magical feat of timing, Jeff started grunting and trying to pull himself free of the candy pile. "I'm- I'm too deep in! I'm stuck!"

With little swirling storm clouds above his head, L.J sank further in his seat. He rested his head on the desk, arms hanging limply at his sides.

"I wanna kill someone!" He moaned forlornly, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.

"Umph! Umph! Umph! Uuugh!" Jeff groaned, trying to shrug himself free of the sticky candy by twisting left and right. He only succeeded in rolling deeper into the pile.

Slenderman just turned the page of his book with a tentacle. And L.J heard it. The clown narrowed his eyes, glaring sullenley at the faceless creepypasta with a dark expression.

"Why are you just sitting around doing nothing? We should be calling a meeting of all the creepypastas! We should be sending someone to scope out Zalgo's lair!"

"-We should wait patiently until the end of the night, when everyone has given their full report." Slendy said calmly, turning the page again.

"Oh sweet mother of music! Oh sweet mother of sin - It's too much! " Jeff cried out in anguish as he started thrashing - clawing his way out of the candy pile.

L.J was tearing out his own hair, engulfed in a ball of annoyance. He was starting to be surrounded by a dark, dark purple aura that would've made Mephiles jealous.

"Listen to me, you faceless imbecile. I lost my patience years ago - so don't try the sit-back-and-wait routine with me...!"

The author would like to pause this story for a moment in memory of loving Wooble. Wooble The Smiley Yellow Bouncy Ball, who died under mysterious dachshund-related causes.

Actually, she just needed some extra text to bump up the word count and decided to interject it here. Continue reading. Ignore this. Why are you still reading? Go!

Slenderman finally looked up from his book and saw the unknown purple haze.

Sweatdropping, he slowly made a halting sign, since L.J was preparing to vault over the desk and give him an eyeless black eye.

"Now, now! C-Calm down, child! I fully understand your desire for violence - but- but think of the children!"

"YoU'll NeVeR hAvE chILDren wHeN I'm DonE wIth yOu!" The monochrome clown hissed, half-climbing onto the desk while making grabby movements with his clawed fingers.

Jeff saw the situation escalating and helpfully exclaimed, "I'm coming! I'm coming!" While twisting himself out of the candy pile. It was stretching with him, determined to keep the killer prisoner.

L.J sharply looked over his shoulder.

"STOP MAKING THOSE DAMNN SEXUAL INNUENDOS!" He snarled.

"And that, kids, is what happens when Laughing Jack doesn't get to kill anyone!" BEN concluded educationally, randomly poking his head out of the window.

The little elf had bandages all over himself, two black eyes, an ice pack strapped to his blonde brain and was missing a tooth.

Jeff was surprised by BEN's sudden appearance. Since he was overwhelmed by a sudden desire to kill him for the bubblegum hair prank, he tore off his hoodie and, in doing so, was set free from the gooey candy.

"You! You're dead, midget!" He yelled, running towards him without a shirt on. Yes, Jeff was in the habit of wearing nothing else underneath his outerwear.

Five percent of readers read the end of the sentence above as "wearing nothing underneath his underwear." These special percentage deserve a golden award in the shape of a cookie.

Laughing Jack whipped back around and took a swipe at Slenderman's faceless face. The facelessly faced creepypasta ducked, causing the claws to rip through a Twilight poster behind him.

"That was a limited edition! It cost me one hundred bucks on EBay!" Slendy despaired, clapping a hand over his mouthless mouth.

"Your nonexistent face is next," L.J deadpanned, bringing his claws down for a parallel strike. If Slendy hadn't teleported out of his seat, his faceless head would've been torn open by it.

The monochrome clown's eyes widened comically as he made frantic windmill gestures in a vain attempt to stop himself falling over the desk.

He failed.

With a yelp, L.J crashed face-first into the office chair that had hosted Slendy's butt only moments ago. Strangely enough, it reeked of daffodils.

"My- My nose!"

L.J sat up in a frazzled state, curling a hand around the squashed cone. He crossed his eyes, surveyed the damage, then leapt up with a bellowing scream.

"MY SWIRLY CONE NOSE! MY BEAUTIFUL SWIRLY CONE NOSE!"

Jeff leant out of the window in all his pink uniformed glory, threateningly brandishing a knife down towards the little elf who was frantically trying to yank open another window for escapism purposes.

Slendy chose to back away from the panicking clown. And thoughtfully opened the study's door with a spare tentacle as an afterthought.

"DOCTOR SMILEEEEY!"

From all the way upstairs, the not-so-good doctor froze in the midst of swabbing E.J's wounds with disinfectant. Wide eyes.

His pupils shrank to the size of pinpricks.

_______________________
A/N: Fun Fact: Shrinking pupils is a sign of horror.
I'm supposed to write two thousand words, but this ending was just too good to pass up.
I'll continue now. ^v^