"My name is Kagekao. Nice to meet you, curvy-bodied man! Kekeke!" The black and white creepypasta seemed to be enjoying himself thoroughly. 

"English isn't his first language," Doctor Smiley interjected smoothly, before Slenderman could stand up and whack their guest over the head with a tentacle.

The tentacle hovered menacingly in the air, then reluctantly retracted.

From a window, Ticci Toby started clapping. He was randomly sitting on a windowsill as a silent observer. And he had a stripy bucket of sweet popcorn sitting on his lap.

He was silenced by a quick sideways glare from Smiley. "S-S-Sorry..."

Slam! Everyone turned their attention towards the door as it swung open with violent force. L.J came stomping in with steam pouring out of his ears.

"Move it!" He snapped, yanking Kagekao aside by the scarf. He stumbled backwards and hit his back against one of the bookshelves, the white side of his mask scowling deeply.

With a startled yelp, Smiley sidestepped and out of the way as L.J took a halfhearted swipe at his face. He's ticked!

The monochrome clown's features were scrunched up. He clenched his fists at his sides hard enough to make his whole arms shake. "I have a bone to pick with you!"

Slenderman calmly looked up, slowly closing the laptop with his free hand as he did so. All of his tentacles were poised to move if needed. "You have a complaint to file, Laughing Jack?"

His fists slammed down on the desk, rattling the wood deeply. "Like hell I do!"

Smiley wisely chose to usher Kagekao out of the room, making up a hasty excuse along the lines of giving a tour.

And then he smiled nervously. "W-W-Well, I'll leave you two be!" The not-so-good doctor slipped out as well, shouldering the door shut behind him.

L.J glared at the door, then whipped his head towards Slenderman again. The faceless creepypasta was sitting coolly, lacing his slender fingers together while motioning for him to continue speaking.

"What occurrence brought you here in such a... Humble mood?"

"This!"

The monochrome clown thrust a hand in his pocket and pulled out a scrunched-up piece of paper that had seen its fair share of wear and tear.

He slid what was left of it in front of Slendy.

Slenderman looked down and gave it eyeless scrutiny. "This is your kill list for tonight, isn't-"

"-D'ya know something, kiddo? I love spreading my fun to everyone, and I have patience. So I visited every single one of those people and guess what? They all had something in common!"

By now, a little of L.J's fury appeared to have burnt itself out. His teeth were gritted tightly together, but he did twirl over a chair and sit down roughly, leaning out with a fierce look.

If he had a face, Slendy would've blinked in confusion. He didn't understand what on earth the clown was talking about, or why he looked ready to pull out a gun on him. "... Something in common?"

"Yes, and I'll tell you what it was...!" L.J's chest swelled up as he drew a deep breath to scream out of frustration.

"... THEY WERE ALL DEAD!"

The sounds of L.J proceeding to shriek blue murder towards the faceless pasta echoed through the mansion's walls, even through the floor.

BEN turned up the volume of his gaming headphones. Dark Link was a little occupied with drinking away the memories of Jeff's pale arse and Jeff the Killer himself was too busy sulking in the bathtub.

Smiley cringed and tried to explain a little about the mansion's history, but found himself trailing off to something about how the walls weren't as soundproof as they used to be.

Kagekao just gave another one of his strange "kekeke's." And then something else caught his attention; he displayed interest towards a door that had been left slightly ajar - a thin wedge of light spilling out.

He pointed to it quizzically, struggling to remember the correct words to ask a question. Smiley got the message and walked over there to open it.

"This is my room. I converted most of it into a surgery for my patients, but it's also a sort of medical wing that everyone goes to when they get sick or hurt."

"Everyone... Everyone is injured often?"

"A bunch of homicidal creepypastas living together under one roof? Most of their medical issues come from each other!" Smiley chuckled, giving the door a light push.

Kagekao looked straight ahead again.

"Oh! Who is that? A friend of yours? Kekeke~"

The not-so-good doctor followed Kagekao's gaze with a raised eyebrow. And then his expression fell, falling to more of a poorly-concealed grimace.

Smirky was standing on the edge of Smiley's surgery table, using the disinfected surface as leverage to reach the first-aid cabinet. He was knocking around everything that had been obsessively organised.

Swollen scratches were starting to redden, stretching across his exposed arms. And a few on his face - turning fluidly towards his neckline.

"What happened to you?" Smiley asked his lookalike, eyes flashing upwards to check the doorway for a trap before he stepped through

"Oh, it's nothing of your concern," the illusionist creepypasta looked over his shoulder. "Kobanwa, Kagekao. How are you enjoying your stay?"

The black side of Kagekao's mask gave a happy smile. "Quite well. You've heard of me, then...?"

"Certainly. You're a Japanese demon, aren't you? Very talented at gymnastics and an expert at wine tasting, amongst a set of highly specialized skill-"

Before Smirky could say more, Smiley pulled his head down by his jawline. "That's enough of your flattery for today, don't you think?" he asked with a sigh.

His twin scowled deeply and seized his wrist, wrenching Smiley's hand away with blunt force. "Touch my face again and I'll find a way to kill you with one of your popsicle sticks."

"For the last time - it's called a tongue depressor! They're not popsicle sticks! You were a dentist, you know that!" He inwardly groaned.

Smirky responded by sticking his tounge out. "I never paid attention to that; I just knocked people out with chloroform and pulled out their teeth. Isn't that what all dentists do?"

"They at least offer to provide fillings for cavities and give little kids colourful lollipops to make sure they'll come back soon..." Smiley muttered under his breath.

Neither of them seemed to notice that Kagekao had gotten bored and scuttled off on his own, back to Slenderman's study.

As usual, neither of the twins would let down their guard around the other either.

A tense situation indeed, one that was only diffused when Smirky stepped down from the table with a first-aid-kit in his hands.

Without another word, he passed by Smiley and went into the adjoining bathroom, kicking the door shut behind him. It signified that he wanted to treat his own wounds in private, which was unusual.

Come to think of it, the not-so-good doctor couldn't remember any time when Smirky had been so hush-hush over a couple of scratches.

So, being the loving-and-totally-not-suspicious brother that he was, he knocked on the door. "Hey! Where did you get those from anyway?"

"You jus saw me take the medical supplies from your cupboard," stated a monotone voice, followed by the sound of a tap running.

"I know you're smarter than that and you're dodging the question! Tell me how you got yourself scratched up so badly, or else I'll come in there and examine them myself!"

"For the love of Zalgo - I just had a brief skirmish with something hostile in the forest! Are you happy now?" Smirky's voice became unbelievably bratty and whiny. Was he faking it?

Still, Smiley didn't want to break his word by barging in anyway.

So he murmured something that sounded vaugely like a yes and retreated to redisinfect the surgery table, swiping the spray bottle and specialized cloth from their holders on the wall.

For now, let's retrace our steps back to the study of a Twilight-obsessed creepypasta. Laughing Jack had exhausted his vocal chords and now sat in silence, though his venomous glare was far from gone.

Slenderman was looking through a filing cabinet for the copies of everyone's kill lists, trying to prove that it must've been an honest mistake.

Accidentally giving someone else the same list or something of the sort.

Outside the study, Kagekao had draped himself over a nearby bookcase's top with his ear to the wall. Kekekeing to himself, as usual. With a fancy glass of wine in claw.

Word of Jeff and BEN's grounding had reached the ears of Jane, who wasted no time with assigning them to a cruel punishment for her own entertainment.

And so that was how the two creepypastas ended up kneeling in the hall, - where the study's tall doors were located, - scrubbing the floor until it gave off a cheesy photoshopped sparkle effect.

While wearing a matching set of frilly maid outfits.

In bright, fluorescent pink.

To be honest, it suited Jeff's bubblegum-coloured hair quite well, though the first person to tell him that would undoubtably go to sleep. BEN kept looking over at him and giggling.

Anyway, since Jane had threatened them with something grievous if they refused, the duo of idiots- I mean- adored pasta were forced to endure the humiliation.

"How much longer do we haveta do this for? My hands ache!" BEN complained, wiggling his fingers around in their rubber gloves.

"I don't know," Jeff admitted, compulsively scrubbing over the same spot with his soapy brush. He ended up being a little too enthusiastic about that - because his brush's handle snapped itself in half soon after.

The psychotic killer turned red and cast his eyes downwards, muttering about cheap plastic products before standing up to throw the broken set away.

While he was gone, BEN's curiosity became roused by the sound of voices inside the study. Raised voices. It sounded important. He naturally wanted to eavesdrop on the conversation too.

The only problem was that the best spot for listening through walls was already occupied, and the Japanese demon who was occupying it didn't seem all that keen to move.

The solution? Grab a glass from the kitchen and stick it against the door in hopes that it would work. And as a matter of a fact, it did. Kinda. Sorta.

BEN leaned all his weight on one foot, pressing his ear firmly against the glass. It was still a bit wet from being fresh out of the drying rack, but the little elf didn't notice.

"-No record of anyone being sent to those addresses; they were picked for your unique skills and nobody else's."

"So you're telling me that the sugarplum fairy came bursting in with a chainsaw and massacred all of my kills?" L.J's voice was laced with sarcasm.

"No, but I do believe that this is no coincidence. There's some very suspicious activity going around lately..." Slenderman trailed off. This was followed by the scrape of a chair being pulled up.

"Are you gonna send us all on another fun trip to the Bermuda Triangle by ourselves? Smiley made a great captain last time."

"Goodness, no. We can't afford to have any more ships sunk in a storm. But I do have a favour to ask of you."

"Why should I listen?"

"I'll give you Eyeless Jack's kill list as a comprise."

"... I'm listening."

"Good. Now then, I want you to keep an eye out for any more strange occurrences or unusual behaviour. You're friendly with almost everyone here - I expect gathering information won't be a difficult task....-"

BEN heard Jeff's footsteps returning to the hall. In last-minute panic of getting caught, he lifted the glass and threw it out of a nearby window. Unfortunately - that window was closed.

"I found a good boot scrubber with a wooden handle in Dark Link's- Where the hell did all that glass come from?!"

Kagekao started laughing with his kekeke's again. It took a special kind of dedication to eavesdrop while watching someone else eavesdropping on the same conversation. 

____________________________
A/N: Phew! I was falling asleep - but I managed to make it past 2K words!
Thank you so much, everyone! This book already has over forty reads, six votes, twenty comments - and it's only the second day! Let's push onward to fifty, and then sixty!
*I know I've misspelled Kagekao's name at least once. Feel free to point it out, if you can! XD
I'm looking forward to your feedback!

Toodle-doo!
Final Word Count: 2114.