At the change of guard, L.J made his move and snuck into Zalgo's lair via teleportation.

The monochrome clown proudly dusted himself off and took some time to pick up all the candy he'd dropped.

Then he surveyed the area.

Nothing had changed much at all. Actually, no. There was differences. Some cheap tinsel had been tacked around the walls to give a Christmassy feel to it.

To be completely honest, it just made the place look even gloomier.

Something bounced against his feathery shoulder, causing him to jump with a yowl. He looked closely, then laughed and brushed it off.

L.J pawed a giant bauble that randomly fell from the ceiling at even randomer intervals and made a dash for the nearest door before anything else could hit him in random places.

In the department of notability, a headless minion went marching right past him at some point. Since it was, well, headless, it did not see him.

He slowed down and made a quick detour in the middle of sneaking around.

L.J happily clawed his way into the kitchen and emerged a few minutes later with a swirly lollipop. What exactly a swirly lollipop had been doing in the lair's kitchen was entirely up for debate.

"Now then..." The clown mumbled to himself, "I'll find out what the prince of darkness is up to..."

But first, he took a bite out of the lollipop and chewed it with a dreamy expression. Laughing Jack and candy went awfully well together.

He knew exactly where to start; the computer room.

You'd expect an evil mastermind like Zalgo to have a huge command centre with hi-tech laboratories and huge screens to monitor his enemies down to every single breath they took.

Well, I'm not saying that the former wasn't true in some part of the complex labyrinth that was Zalgo's lair, but Zalgo's computer room was only the size of a broom closet.

You didn't need much space if all you used it for was making questionable online purchases. A salt and battery, minion uniforms and a pet monkey called Tom were only a few of those aforementioned purchases.

L.J crept towards the door in typical creepy fashion and pressed an ear to the hollow wood, listening hard.

Excellent.

He could hear the clicky-click-click of keyboard keys.

L.J decided to peek through the keyhole to see what Zalgo was doing in there. Take note kids; this is how yaoi happens.

Phantom would insert a dirty joke right now, but she can't think of one.

Jeff.

Candy cane.

Oyster.

(Intrusive Author's Note:  Theo333 - I'm sorrynotsorry.)

Sure enough, Zalgo was at the desk, fully decked in an ebony cloak with the hood up. Y'know how some people like wearing pajamas around the house?

This was the equivalent.

He was scrolling through Amazon, specifically looking their selection of hamster balls.

His shopping cart already included one that looked like a disco ball and featured a traumatized-looking rodent on the packaging.

The half-empty bottle of whiskey sitting next to his mouse explained this odd choice of inventory quite well.

Rolling his eyes, L.J took another bite out of the swirly lollipop and chewed quietly. Some people never learn...

There's no way to integrate this scene into the next one (actually there probably is but Phantom is way too lazy to do that) so here's a terribly timed locationskip.

We named him Peanut.

~Peanut, The Terribly Timed Locationskip~

Dark Link fell asleep in a coffee shop. He was comfy, snoozing half on the table with his head in his arms.

Nobody bothered him (his gleaming sword that was lying in the open might've had something to do with that), so he was quite content as he was.

Except the ghost of Cyen, who used telekinetic powers to levitate the shade's cooling cup of mocha off the table and towards his own.

During his sleep, Darkness found himself mulling over his failure to find anything at the bus stands. Maybe it was all a cleverly planned wild goose chase... Definitely couldn't be Phantom changing the plotline...

Dark Link sighed and sank his chin lower, looking kawaii-desu as hell.

He woke up with a start when icy coffee splashed down the nape of his neck from a falling cup.

The stumbling waitress mumbled an unapologetic apology and strode off to refil, looking ticked off as if it was his fault that the liquid had spilt.

Might as well make the walk of shame now, Darkness thought to himself, mopping his neck as best he could. The coffee trailed down his back, looped around to his chest and soaked into his hair.

He didn't leave a tip.

~Marshmallow, The Terribly Timed Locationskip (Peanut Died)~

Jeff sat inside the most inconspicuous location he could find, with a crackly paper bag stuck over his head.

Presently, someone stopped to ask why the crazy killer was sitting in the fireplace. In this case, that pasta was Sonic.exe.

"Can I set you on fire?" The blue hedgehog asked hopefully, reaching for a box of matches that were always kept on the mantelpiece.

Jeff quickly shook his hands in front of him, sounding panicked. "I'm hiding from the face of Internet humiliation; go away!"

Shrugging, Sonic.exe zoomed off with the intent to torment Shadow some more. It was a hobby, apparently. Personally, Phantom thinks that there's gonna be chaotic bloodshed.

A few floors up, we already know what was goin' down and it was getting old pretty fast.

Slenderman was slippin' and sliding all over the place, E.J was shrieking like a little girl while hiding under the sheets, Smiley and Toby were both unconscious and Smirky was fighting he-knows-who.

Somebody managed to do something sensible for once. Slenderp used his derpyportation powers to stand on a patch of surgery that wasn't littered with slippery pills; the operating table.

Then he extended a tentacle and twisted it around the bathroom doorknob, forcing it to turn through pure creepypasta power. And strength. And maybe the fact that it wasn't locked.

Elsewhere in the world, a hamster sneezed.

What does that above information have to do with the story, you may ask? My answer is simple; nothing. Word count, word count, boosty, boost, boost.

Smirky came tumbling out with a wild screetch, clawing at thin air with bloodied nails. Slendy's tentacle performed some kind of Olympic move to catch him before he got a concussion.

E.J, who'd been peeking out from under the sheet, quickly flattered himself to the bed and braced for the arrival of some terrible new foe.

Nothing happened.

Well, except Smirky fainting like a freakin' pokèmon. Unfortunately, there were no items at hand to use as a revive and "Nurse Joy" was currently out cold with a KO sign hovering over his head.

Phantom decided to end this chapter here, switched off the monitors and curled up in her apple-shaped chair for a snooze.

____________________
A/N... Zzzz... Apple juice....

*sleeptalking voice* Question ooof the night: Which creepynoodlepastathing would you use as a teddy bear, why and would they like it?

Thaaank you for... Zzz... Almost one thousand reads...

Tooodle-dooo!
Final Word Count: 1200