Darling, I love you for a thousand- Ring-ring!
I have died every- Ring-ring!

Crash!

Which way to turn first, nobody knew.

Slenderman whipped out a few tentacles in the hopes of multitasking. Instead, he accidentally let go of something VERY important.

Squeak!

His defiant rubber ducky was sent soaring across the surgery, tumbling butt-over-beak.

It bounced off a wall.

E.J yelped and ducked (pun completely intended) as it flew past his head. "Gah! Injured and defenseless 'pasta over here!"

As Slenderman turned around to hunt in his back trouser pockets for the obnoxiously ringing phone, the rubber ducky hit Smiley's head with fierce velocity.

The not-so-good doctor gave a cry of pain (getting hit by a ducky-missile hurt a lot apparently), span around dizzily on his heel and promptly fell.

A large red KO sign hovered over his head.

Toby sprang off the bed's edge and quickly stumbled over to the door as it rattled violently. He drew a hatchet from his back and prepared to swing it into the frame.

Before he could get around to doing that, Slenderman tripped over Smiley's body turning another turn. His still-ringing phone went flying and smashed into the shelf above the bathroom door.

The goggle-loving proxy was barraged with falling bottles. A rainbow of pills splayed out and rolled all over the place - while medicines crashed and splashed by his feet.

Behind the bathroom door, Smirky's raised cursing was distinct.

"SoN oF a-"

Cyen came floating into the surgery with a lockjawed dachshund clinging onto his butt. When he saw what chaos was unfolding, he promptly noped the hell outta there, dog and all.

Slendy attempted to get up, but slipped on a dozen pills and crashed back on top of Smiley, which definitely prolonged his unconsciousness for another hour. The KO sign flashed like an arcade game.

E.J helpfully yelled 'look out!' to Toby, who was hit by a glass bottle and toppled into the goopy mess of liquid and raining shards.

He stood back up slowly and balanced unsteadily on one quivering foot.

Slenderman's mobile phone (which, by the way, was still blasting out the Twilight theme) ominously stuck out screen side up.

It vibrated with every ring, until it finally tipped over and fell off le edge.

Plunk!

With a funny little groan Toby fell flat on his face, mouthpiece askew and tinted goggles sporting a spidery network of white cracks.

The phone bounced twice, slid across the floor and bumped against the rubber ducky that was kinda just bobbing around and chilling out amidst the pandemonium.

Then the whole screen broke; silencing it for good.

As it stood, two creepypasta were KOed, one was currently slipping 'n sliding all over the place, one was making funny noises in the bathroom and the only unoccupied pasta was too busy clutching the sheets while looking understandably frightened out of his wits.

E.J couldn't nope himself out of the room with so much stuff happening - so he did the next best thing and threw a blanket over himself and pretended to be a tent.

A vibrating tent; he was shivering quite a bit.

Ninety percent of readers will now begin thinking of dirty thoughts. The other ten percent are either liars or totally immune to suggestion, which sounds suggestive on its own.

Word count, word count, boosty, boost, boost, boot. Welly boot. I hate cheap pudding. Okay, I'll continue now... Heh...

Another thump rattled the bathroom door. This time it sounded like someone had aimed a kick at it although whether or not it had been intentional was entirely up for debate.

"Is tHaT aLL?" These words were followed by the sound of more breaking glass - likely a mirror.

"Who the hell is he talking to...? Himself?" Eyeless Jack whimpered from under the sheets, since he was the only one available for plot convenience.

Crash! It was hard to say if that sound had been something else inside the bathroom or the fourth wall breaking.

Probably a healthy mix of both.

Describing all the craziness and strange noises that came from the surgery at that time would take up this entire chapter and maybe a few more too

So we're going to take a break from that and move on to something more... Relaxing.

Like BEN clinging on for dear life to a sack of potatoes as he was suctioned out of the truck's open doors like a flapping flag to a vacuum cleaner.

Wait, whaaa? Oh yes, let me fill chu in on the details.

You see, after spiting the potato gods BEN spotted the safety latch and automatically decided to undo it because his brain was made out of marshmallows.

Do not question this logic.

He was convinced that, if his escape wasn't immediate, he'd be chucked into a deep-fryer and served with garlic bread in the fish 'n chips shop as a Sunday special.

Now, back to the present scene of the little elf clinging on for dear life to a sack of potatoes. The doors had both swung open and a suction effect had taken place.

It was like the dramatic hair-billowing-in-the-wind-and-petals-blowing-everywhere scene in anime - only, replace the petals with potatoes and the hot anime dude with a screeching BEN Drowned.

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"

A giant warty potato fell on his head and stunned him.

The gods had enacted their revenge.

He let go of the sack and went whooshing out onto the street, followed by a cloud of smoke as the truck let out its exhaust fumes and sped along without him.

BEN ended up splayed out on the tinted windshield of a car driving behind.

The driver slammed on their brakes and pulled off to the side immediately. Unforgettably, the little elf's black eyes stared widely and began to bleed, scarlet pupils going in loopy circles.

Unfortunately for BEN, the driver happened to be a creepypasta himself.

A minute later, a car door slammed shut and the vehicle vroomed off, tires squealing. The little elf was propped up on one of the cherry-coloured seats, next to an array of red and blue roses.

We take this time to cut back towards the creepypasta mansion. No, not the surgery (that place was still utter chaos), but to the answering machine.

It was reeling, recording a message from Trendy, who sounded fabulously unamused at being "ignored."

Good news - I found Offendy! Turns out he really was just out and about, can you believe it? So unstylish! Un- Uncooth!

___________________
A/N: Uh. Oh. Here comes trouble!

Question Of Le Night/Day: Would you rather let Smirky fix your teeth, let Smiley remove your appendix, or eat a suspicious piece of candy that L.J gave you after an argument with him?

Let's see, I did promise something about Dark Link's searching and Jeff's reputation but don't feel like it today. So that's something reserved for later! :3

What will BEN do?
What's L.J up to?
What the hell is going on in that bathroom?
Is Kagekao still sleeping in front of the fridge/oven?
What's going on with this goddamn plotline?!

Find out (eventually) on We're All Crazy Here!

Toodle-Doo~
Final Word Count: 1217.