Smiley returned to the mansion with colourful splatters on his coat and a briefcase full of jars. What exactly was inside them is definitely something that Phantom doesn't want to expand on.

He tiredly waved hello to Smirky (who was lolitering outside of the surgery), and stepped in without another thought. Naturally, his brother just turned his head the other way with a scoff.

The not-so-good doctor froze in his tracks before he was fully inside the surgery. His eyes darted left and right frantically; trying to make sense of what he was seeing.

An anguished scream sent Smirky strolling in to investigate. For once, he hadn't been the cause of it and that made him curious. However, when he saw it, he *almost* screamed too.

Doctor Smiley grasped the doorframe as his knees buckled from underneath him. Horror dominated his facial features. Smirky took a fearful step back, making prayer signs with his shaky hands.

"There's... There's so much... I've never seen anything like this before..."

Sally politely pushed her way past the two stunned doctors and went off in a merry little skip, swinging Charlie to-and-fro.

The whole surgery was decked out with colourful pink ribbons, there was glitter smeared on the walls and the operating table had been turned into a messy tea-party-table.

Thud. Smiley fell and started beating his fists on the floor, crying a river of tears.

He took another look around the place and only wailed louder.

Looking slightly freaked out, Smirky edged around his tantrum-throwing twin and made a beeline for the bathroom. Fresh scratches adorned his neckline, peeking over the collar of his loose shirt.

Only moments after the illusionist creepypasta had locked himself in with a first aid kit, Toby came trailing into the room, looking a bit confused.

"S-Slenderman? Wh-Where a-are y-you?"

All of a sudden, the faceless creepypasta arrived in a glob of teleportation-ness. "Forgive me, child. I forgot of my abilities."

Behind his back, a tentacle was wrapped firmly around the holey rubber ducky, hiding it out of sight. Another tentacle was stroking it fondly.

Toby stood erect and looked around with an air of... Bewilderment. "W-W-Where d-did E-Eyeless Ja-Jack g-go?"

Amusingly, the goggle-loving proxy had failed to notice Smiley, who was now currently splayed out under his feet, trying to make some sign of life or just generally breathe.

There was a low moan of pain from underneath the tea party- er- operating table. Then E.J crawled out, looking even worser for wear than before.

"She's dangerous." He was dripping florescent pink goo all over the place and his blue mask had been replaced with a bunny one.

"I'm so sorry child," Slenderman said insincerely.

"What did you let her do to my precious bedroom?!" The not-so-good doctor wailed.

Well, before the plotline could resume (and E.J could give his explanation), everyone in the vicinity had to calm down Smiley because he seemed on the verge of going rabid.

Since Phantom was already getting bored of that, she decided to flip the coin and show everyone what the other group of lunatics were up to.

And so - we move on towards the dramatic hate triangle between Jeff, BEN and Jane.

Once BEN had gotten over the betrayal of the potato gods, he threw away the offending potato and swore to never touch one again.

Then he realised that he'd landed smack-dab in the middle of a delivery truck for the local fish 'n chips shop.

It was full of potatoes.

His pledge was broken before it had even begun.

Anydoodles, he was still being transported over there and did zilch about it. Mainly because he renembered his love for the vegetable with a passion and began rooting through the sacks in hopes of finding "the golden potato."

On the other hand, Jeff was hurrying back to the mansion as fast as his feet could carry him. Through means which the author is too lazy to explain, he knew all about Jane and the incriminating video.

He flew through the streets as a blur of white; darting around obstacles like a ninja from Naruto.

His fabulous hair blew wildly over his face.

Phantom will never get tired of talking about Jeff and his fabulous raven hair.

The psychotic killer scaled smoothly up the tall wall that surrounded the mansion.

He flipped over the rusty spikes (which Trendorman had insisted added "medival class" to the estate), and struck his knife into the crumbly brick to slow down his descent.

Jane sensed Jeff's approach from a mile away. She picked up her camera and hurried out of her room - just as he swung himself through the closed window, shattering glass in the process.

"Pervert! You're worse than Offendy; sneaking in through women's bedrooms in the middle of the day!" The sassy creepypasta yelled over her shoulder, as she ran while holding the camera like a newborn baby.

In response, Jeff snarled and sprang at her, swinging his best knife and missing her neck by fleeting inches. "Give me that camera!"

"F*ck you!"

He grinned perversely. "Not right now, tha-"

Then he ran straight into a wall and was knocked out cold.

Jane pulled off the sharp turn with fluid grace and proceeded towards the nearest computer to upload her "slightly enhanced" footage. Now it also included tootsie rolls.

Yawning and stretching out, Phantom cracked her knuckles over each other and switched the reader's view without any prewarning whatsoever.

Smiley was sitting quietly inside the closet, bound and gagged. It was the only way that would shut him up; a last resort that took a leaf from Smirky's book.

Eyeless Jack had settled down with a plate of kidneys and was now resting back in bed. Reportedly, he looked happy as he speared them one by one with a scapel and popped them into his mouth like candy.

Slenderman and Toby were sitting on opposite sides of the bed, awkwardly waiting for him to finish.

One of them started humming Mozart operas and the other continued to pet a deflating rubber ducky.

E.J polished off the last kidney on his plate and laid back against the comfy pillows with a contented sigh. "Now this is something I can get used to."

Toby stopped humming and yanked his mouthguard back over his- now this might be shocking- mouth. "A-Are y-you r-ready t-to t-t-tell u-us n-now?"

The lover of all things kidney nodded, dabbing his mouth with a tissue.

"Where should I start?"

"At the beginning, child."

"Alright..."

Cue a less-than-dramatic flashback.

He was hanging around a bus stand, relieving traumatic memories before his daily dose of death and killing. After that, he took a walk around the block and tracked the first house on his kill list.

(Dark Link was still going on a wild goose chase, believing that some bus stand held a key piece of nonexistent evidence.)

The front door was ajar and blood was seeping down the porch steps. Upon poking his head inside to have a look, he saw a silhouette hanging by their neck.

Figuring it was a fluke, he moved on to the next one. But it was a similar scene; dead body and lots of blood. It repeated over and over - with the split scarlet becoming fresher and fresher with each house he searched.

All of it led towards a confrontation when he caught up to the perpetrator within a fancy house's upstairs living room.

It had been extraordinarily difficult to fight because whoever *lived* (note the past tense) there had decked the whole place out in luxury.

Between getting hurled into a 80' inch curved plasma TV, having a decorative wind shelf fall on top of him and tripping over a spoilt pedigree fluffball that didn't give a hoot about intruders, he lost easily.

And then was hoisted up and promptly thrown off a balcony, which became the cause of his other eighty percent of injuries.

The children can uncover their eyes now. Back has stopped flashing itself anticlimactically.

By the tine that everyone came to, E.J was casually drinking a glass of water that had appeared out of thin air. His creepypasta healing powers were starting to finally kick in.

From the closet, Smiley somehow undid the lock and went tumbling head-over-heels. His coat was pulled along with him.

He sheepishly sat up, breathing much more steadily and looking overall less tense.

"I was eavesdropping on that whole flashback for plot convenience. Now I'm obliged to move the plot forward by asking what we should do next."

He took a deep breath, then put on an exellent theatrical look of onset worry and panic. "What should we do ne-"

Smiley's voice was cut off by two things; Slenderman's mobile phone beginning to ring with the Twilight theme song and a glassy crash from inside the bathroom.

________________________
A/N: Well, I've gotta keep you guys interested in these chapters one way or another, right?
I can't believe that some of you skip them. :(
But for the awesome ones who don't - thank chu! :)

Question Of Le Day/Night: How often do you catch me using purple prose and words to dramatically increase my word count to the highest potential it can achieve?

Coming up next:
Will BEN escape from the potato truck?
Who's ringing Slendy at mid-morning of all times?
Will Dark Link ever realize that his bus stand search was just pointless distraction?
What the hell was that crash?
And lastly - what's the situation with Jeff's social reputation?

Find out tomorrow on, "We're All Crazy Here!"

Toodle-Doo!
Final Word Count: 1634.