Jeff landed with a thump, straight into some bushes that had been planted outside the apartment in a vain attempt to give the godawful place some greenery.

Leaves went shooting up high into the sky. And then they fluttered back to the ground in a haze of leafiness with grace and finesse. Unlike the crazy killer who sat amongst them with a stupefied look on his face.

Then the pain kicked in again.

Yowling almightily, he sprang up to his feet and took off sprinting towards the nearest source of water that his firey eyes could see.

In this case; a drinking fountain.

Which was already in use by the ghost of Cyen.

"Move the hell outta my way!" Jeff shrieked - a wild and frenzied look on his face.

The ghost of Cyen was thrown aside and the elderly cat went flying away, long beard flapping about dramatically in the wind.

Jeff crouched on top of the drinking fountain's basin rim and doused his face with handful after handful of cold (suspicious-odor-emitting) water.

He emerged from his frenzy with a raspy gasp two and a half minutes later, eyes bloodshot and twitchy.

He was also getting plenty of strange-and-slightly-concerned-about-his-mental-wellbeing looks from random pedestrians. To which he defensively shouted something along the lines of:

"This is a free country!"

A kindly-looking lady approached him, put her hands on his shoulders and stared at him between the eyes. "Have you found Jesus yet, dear?"

She shoved a pamphlet for a local church gathering at his chest when he looked numbly dumbfounded.

Now embarrassed, Jeff hurriedly clambered off the drinking fountain, jumped towards the pavement and ran off with as much nonexistent dignity as one could muster in such a situation.

Yes, at least one person burst out laughing. It happened to be Phantom, who was randomly passing by on her way to purchase some more apple juice while stalking someone for drawing purposes.

The phamplet lady grinned to herself and ran off into a conveniently-placed alleyway (between the apartment complex and a fish 'n chip shop.)

"I did exactly as you told me to, sonny! Now where's my moolah?"

A hand reached out from the shadows and deposited a bunch of coins into the homeless bum's waiting grip.

"Well done. Tell no one."

Meanwhile - unbeknownst to a tiny tracking device that had been planted on his shoulder - Jeff headed back towards the apartment with murderous intentions directed towards BEN.

Whose gleeful cackling could be heard from fourteen storeys up.

The crazy killer held his trusted knife between his teeth and began to scale up the side of the building. Gotta hurry and gut him before the police arrive...

There was a reason why Slenderman had ordered them to search independently and not together, but naturally they'd ended up together anyway and the results were obvious.

Jeff fabulously swung himself back into the kitchen and landed on all fours, eyes fixed solely on BEN. The little elf was still laughing manically - vibrating the table he was sitting on.

By now, Jane had crept off to get the film developed and possibly turned into a full-feature-length film. Jeff had no idea that she'd ever been there. Whether that was a good or bad thing is entirely up for debate.

Due to Phantom's desire to keep this story PG-13 rated, we cannot release any more details about what happened after this.

Let's just say that BEN was screaming hospital in no time. Then he fell silent. It was insanity. Jeff regained his title as fabulous potato. BEN was left without any potatoes.

Thankfully for BEN and his nonexistent potatoes, Jeff became distracted by he sound of sirens wailing outside. The police had arrived. That rhymed. Word count, word count, boosty, boost.

The two lunatics known as creepypastas instantly panicked and tried to think of a way out of the kitchen, momentarily shoving aside their differences to work together.

Hahaha, just kidding! They still fought each other while doing all that aforementioned panicking and trying to escape stuff.

In the end, Jeff grabbed BEN by the scruff of his neck, swung the elf to-and-fro, then flung him out of the window. "Bon voyage!"

Then he ran out of the dingy kitchen and fled through the fire escape.

The open air gave him a perfect view of BEN soaring through the sky while clinging onto the only thing he had with him: a potato.

"SAVE ME, LITTLE POTATO! GIVE ME THE POWER OF FLIGHT!" The elf wailed, holding it over his head in midair.

"............." Shockingly, the potato did nothing.

Nor did it say anything.

Truly a plot twist that nobody saw coming.

~Phantom-Induced Locationskip~

Slenderman was sitting underneath his desk with the usual air of absolute seriousness. Only, it was kinda hard to take him seriously when he was confiding his innermost feelings to a rubber ducky.

"-And I just felt so... so empty inside when Bella rejected Jacob... It opened such a deep chasm in my heart; I- I can barely breathe while watching it unfold over and over again in the movie..."

Knock!  Knock!  Knock!

The faceless creepypasta sharply straightened up and thudded his head on the desk in the process.

From the other side of the door, whoever it was only heard the thump followed by an expletive. Looking bewildered, that person opened the door and poked their head inside.

"D-Did I-I-I c-c-come a-at a-a-a b-bad t-time?"

"No, no, no, child. Please, take a seat," Slenderman deadpanned. He was sitting up straight as a pole, looking like a serious potato for all it was worth.

-Except for the humongous red bump that was throbbing away on top of his smooth-and-otherwise-flawless head, that is.

Ticci Toby shyly shuffled into the study and perched on the edge of his chair, wringing his hands together. "U-Um... E-E-Eyeless J-Jack i-i-is a-awake..."

The timid proxy seemed to be addressing the prominent bump on Slenderman's head more than anything else.

"This is very good news, child. Thank you for informing me." He was still talking monotonously.

Under the desk (and out of Toby's sight), he was using a foot to tenderly stroke the rubber dusky as if it was a beloved pet.

"H-He ha-has so-something im-important to-to s-say a-about h-his a-attacker a-and w-wanted t-to t-tell y-you f-face-t-to-f-facelss-f-face."

Solemnly, Slenderman rose from the desk and up to his full height.

Squeak.

"W-W-What wa-was t-that?"

"It was a figment of your imagination. Now take me to Eyeless Jack, child."

_________________
A/N: 700 reads after only three weeks! Hip, hip, hooray! Thank you to everyone who made this possible!
I wonder what E.J will have to say?
Will Jane post her blackmail video on Youtube?
What did that evil lady do with that money?
Find out everything (except that last one), next time on We're All Crazy Here!

Question Of Le Day: If you woke up to find one of the creepypasta in your room... Who would it be, where would they be and why would they be there?

Me? It'd probably be Smirky. Huddled under my bed. Because it's fun to traumatize him with SmileyXReader lemons. :3

Toodle-doo!
Final Word Count: 1253.