Why should I be like this?

I stare at myself in the mirror, not knowing who I am. My pupils are wide against the brown surrounding them. The corners of my lips are turned up slightly, forming a smile. Who am I? I've never smiled; I've never expressed my feelings with my face. I'm like my mum - she used her body language to show us how she felt before she died. I shouldn't get into depth about that. I'll start tearing up. I can see the whites of my eyes turning red, already.

"Naya?" A voice sounds concerned. It's not feminine, that's for sure. "Are you in here?"

"Umm..." I wipe my eyes. "Yeah." I look down at the sink, focusing on my thoughts. She was never there for you. That is one. You killed her. Another. I may as well have killed her, although it actually wasn't me. I try to subside them, fighting back. I didn't kill my own mother. She decided to commit suicide and I didn't push her. I was on the building with her when she plunged to her death. As she fell, I watched. Mortified. I stared at her broken body on the ground for hours on end, and my brother still doesn't know about her killing herself.

I look up and breathe. "I'm coming," and I walk out.

Brooklyn waits for me outside, leaning against the entrance with his feet crossed over. His arms are folded to his chest and his eyes are closing. I stand in front of him and say, "What's wrong?"

His eyes flicker open and he smiles as his eyes meet mine. "We are wanted for a meeting." He points back with his thumb, directing my vision down the hallway.

"Meeting?"

He nods. "Nikita came to our room whilst you were gone and she told me to get you." He shrugs and smiles half-heartedly. "I'm actually glad I got away from Christian. He started giving me banter."

I smile again and he starts to step away, so I follow. "Banter huh?"

"Yeah, he was talking about how I could never get the girl and he always could." His eyebrows lift and he rolls his dark blue eyes. He laughs under his breath and shakes his head with a smile.

"The girl?" I wonder. "So who's this girl?" Because I really hope it's not me. Even though I would admire you taking a liking to me, I wouldn't be interested. And that's when I see Christian's point... Well, the first part anyway.

"It's no one, really." He fiddles with the hem of his jacket. I look at him rather than down the hall. I inch closer to him and tease him with a shove.

"Are you sure?" I smile playfully. "She must be someone to you otherwise you wouldn't want her, would you now?" I question him with my right eyebrow arched.

"She's pretty, yeah, but there's something behind her smile that I can't quite get to." He looks down to my lips and flickers his eyelids occasionally to cover it up. "She's like a fresh beam of light from the sun." The left corner of his lips turns up.

We still walk but we say no more. I don't ask who this girl is or how he knows her. I don't question his quote, although I find it intriguing. If it was me... The girl, I mean... I would feel privileged to have that said about me. It's amazing how my opinion about him has changed over five minutes of talking - briefly.

We inch closer to the doors that lead us away from the hallway. Brooklyn jogs off and opens the door. His grip is tight around the handle; the muscles in his hand tense as he opens the door. He stands in front of the door, stopping it from closing and waits until I past before he moves again.

"Thank you." I almost breathe out the words as I smile.

"Your welcome." He looks ahead as he joins me by my side again. "We should really hurry up. I think they've already started." And by that, our feet pound against the floor as we pace into a jog, which then quickly turns into a run.

"I've been meaning to ask you something." I say to him, looking up at his perfect jawline. "What made you come here?"

"Just wanted to... Escape from my family for a while, I guess." He shrugs and looks back at me, cracking a slight smile. "My mum pressured me into going to military school, so I applied, got accepted but never went because I came here instead."

"Okay... " I pant, "so I'm guessing your family expected a lot from you?" I keep my gaze forward as we run towards the stairs from then on.

"Yeah, that's why I applied to here in secret. I was always locked inside my room at home because I wanted privacy but I never got it. My mum always found a way to burst my private bubble. What about you? What's your story?"

My story? "My story?" I say. I should think for a bit while we run. Thoughts are bouncing around in my head, just like my feet are on the floor, and then comes my answer. He nods to my question.

"I was shy."

"Is that it?" He scowls quizzically.

"No, of course not." I laugh with the pounding of my feet. "I was shy... Yes. I was also clever and I fell in love at a very early age, until the boy had to move away. His name began with a 'X' and I can't seem to remember it because it was that long ago." I'm telling the truth, I fell in love and then fell out soon after. "He gave me everything. We spent our days together when I found out he was moving away from me. He would sleep my house occasionally and we would stay up late, telling stories until we fell asleep. After his moving, I never fell in love again because I was just too broken."

"You don't seem broken now." He looks at me skeptically but sympathetically.

"Time made me heal." I giggle.

***

Me and Brooklyn laugh all the way out of the assembly. The leaders told us to get comfortable with our roommates because we can't change rooms or partners; to get ready for the first month of physical activities. This was the point when Brooklyn started to pipe up and laugh. We sat on the first row with each other, alone at the side of the podium further away.

"Okay... I have a question..." He chuckles under his breath. "Was it just me?"
I don't know what he's on about so I question him with my eyebrows. They are thick like slugs, not drawn on, just purely natural.

"Was it just me laughing?" He makes it more clearer.

"You weren't the only one. I saw Christian giggle in his seat with a cheeky smile. A few were laughing in the other corner." I point out. "So no, it wasn't just you." I giggle now, "and then there was me, too."

We walk towards our room, watching people leave the assembly before us. We laugh all the way out until Brooklyn taps me on the shoulder, points downward and I look down to see Libby waiting for me by the bottom of the stairs with Carter. I stop in my tracks, and Brooklyn walks down one more step until he notices I'm behind him.

"Nay?" He looks up at me and I stare at Carter. He doesn't look back at me, until I snap out of it. "You coming?"

I flicker my eyelids, erasing my stare bit by bit.

"Yeah. Sorry. I thought I went dizzy for a moment." I put my hand on my head and fake a laugh. "Let's go a different way though. I'm sure we can get an elevator somewhere."
"That's a wise decision to make. I would've never thought." He grabs my hand and takes me up the stairs.

I say no more afterwards.

I just follow.