Michael Mell was notorious for holding in feelings. He didn't think burdening others with his problems was fair. So instead, he made jokes and tried to make others smile when he couldn't honestly do the same.

Michael was also very sensitive after the incident with the squip. However, he would never admit that fact; not if it meant making Jeremy feel worse than he already felt. So, once again, he held it in.

Everything was going okay. Michael arrived at school, parking his PT Cruiser and walking into the building. He made his way to his locker, his heart aching as he saw Jeremy leaning against the wall. Push them down, he convinced himself, shooing his feelings to the corners of his mind.

Jeremy had started the trend of meeting up with Michael every morning. Things had mostly gone back to the way they were, but Michael's insecurities had crept closer to his heart than he'd ever let them before.

Yes, Michael Mell was notorious for holding in feelings. And the ones he held the closest were his feelings for Jeremy.

"-ichael? You doing okay?" Michael's attention snapped to a hand being waved in his face, the hand that belonged to the cause of all his heartache.

"Oh, hey, dude!" Michael replied cheerily, swallowing the sour taste left in his mouth after his own words. "Sorry, got kind of lost in thought there." He scratched his head, grinning apologetically.

"I could tell," Jeremy replied, smiling lightly. "Ready for first period?"

"As ready as I'll never be!"

Jeremy snorted. "Dork."

Michael had nearly slipped up. Jeremy was almost hypersensitive to how he treated Michael these days. One misstep, one small stumble, and he would unnecessarily be placing his insecurities on Jeremy, and that simply wasn't something he could live with.

So that was how things were. He kept to himself and made everyone but himself happy.

But today... something felt wrong. He was having trouble pushing it all down. As if the chains he had placed around his thoughts were loosening.

This frightened Michael more than he wanted to admit. Why couldn't he control them?

"-ude! Seriously, are you okay?" Jeremy had a concerned expression on his face. Michael's heart tightened. He had done it again.

"Y-Yeah, man! Totally fine! Guess I just didn't get a lot of sleep." He laughed, scratching his head again. Crap, was that too obvious? Please don't notice, he prayed.

"Alright..." Jeremy answered, unconvinced. "But if anything's wrong..."

"Hey, dude, no worries! It's all good." He flashed a smile that took all his heart's effort.

The two continued to walk to their first period in silence as Michael cursed himself. You made him uncomfortable. Stupid!

Jeremy waved goodbye to Michael, having made it to his classroom. Michael waved in return, but as soon as he was sure Jeremy couldn't see anymore, he wiped the forced grin he wore off his face.

He entered the classroom just next door. The two had always joked about how close they were to sharing the same classroom. Michael felt tears threatening to fall at this memory. Before it had all happened...

He wiped his eyes on his hoodie quickly, making his way to his desk and burying his face in his arms.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't focus on a word his teacher said that period.

Michael dreaded lunch, and he hated that he dreaded lunch. Lunch was the one place he was able to meet with Jeremy the whole morning.

But seeing Jeremy meant suppressing feelings, and suppressing feelings meant becoming a shiny, happy version of himself that just wasn't real.

It could never be real, not as long as he held these feelings in.

"How was class?" Jeremy asked, watching as Michael took a seat across from him. "You look like ass, what's wrong?"

"Yeah right," Michael told him. "Have you looked in a mirror lately?"

"Rude," Jeremy replied, chuckling lightly. "You didn't answer my question, though..."

"Class was boring as hell," Michael answered, dodging the question he knew Jeremy was referring to.

Jeremy sighed. "Dude, seriously, what's up? You've been acting off all day. If I did something wron-"

"No!" Michael blurted out. "I mean... I'm fine, okay...?"

Jeremy stood suddenly, walking around the table to where Michael sat. "Up," he ordered, holding out his hand.

"What?" Michael asked, laughing nervously.

"Come on! No excuses, no cover-ups, let's go," Jeremy said sternly.

Michael reluctantly allowed Jeremy to pull him up, unsure of where he planned on taking them.

Jeremy kept a firm grip on Michael's hand, almost dragging him to...

"A storage closet? Jeremy, wha-?"

But Jeremy shut the door loudly before Michael could finish, taking a seat criss-cross and motioning for Michael to do the same.

When Michael had situated himself, he looked at the other boy, feeling his anxiety climb as his insecurities pushed just a little further.

"You're not leaving until you tell me what's wrong," Jeremy stated.

"Jeremy, I said-"

"Yeah, I know what you said. But I also know something's up."

Michael stayed quiet. Jeremy stayed still. They both waited: Jeremy for Michael's response, and Michael for his own heart.

Something stirred in Michael at that moment. An unexplainable and sorrowful bitterness took over his thoughts. He knew if he talked now he would regret it.

"Michael?" Jeremy pressed gently.

"... don't understand..." Michael muttered.

"What?"

"I said, I don't understand!" Michael got up slowly as he raised his voice, feeling it quiver. "Why should I have to tell you anything?! The person who utterly ignored me and called me a loser now suddenly cares how I'm feeling? I don't need sympathy, Jeremy! Not from you!"

A single tear slipped down Jeremy's cheek. Michael had done it. He had done it, but he didn't know how to stop. So he kept going.

"Do you know how much it hurt?" His voice was quieter, but much more shaky. "To have my friend, my best friend, my ONLY FRIEND ignore me?! Yeah, I'm sure you don't. So, yes, Jeremy Heere, I'm fi-!"

Michael couldn't finish before Jeremy had sprung up, wrapping him in a tight hug. He felt warm drops fall onto his shoulder, and suddenly, he felt his nose burn as fresh tears found their way to his eyes.

He soon found himself sobbing, clinging onto Jeremy for dear life. Jeremy hugged him back, whispering sad apologies as he rubbed Michael's back and cried with him.

The two stayed like this for a while until Michael collapsed, bringing Jeremy with him. Jeremy took this opportunity to pull Michael into his lap, hugging his waist in a calming manner.

"Hey, Michael?" Jeremy prompted quietly.

"Mm?"

"Can I tell you something...?" When Jeremy got no reply, he continued. "I've never forgiven myself... I was horrible to you, and I should have noticed you were holding all this in, but I didn't... I also need to tell you something I've been hiding." Jeremy sighed deeply. "When the squip disappeared, I was finally able to decide things on my own. The things it had decided for me seemed almost taboo in my head. So I thought of the one thing the squip had never tried to change... that was you, Michael. And I know... I don't expect you to forgive me for what I've done, but... you deserve to know that I haven't been able to look at you the same way since..."

"Wh-What?" Michael's voice shook, feeling his heartbeat quicken.

"You know I broke up with Christine, right?" Jeremy continued. "She noticed I wasn't happy, and she also realized she didn't really want to be in a relationship either..."

"You weren't... happy?"

Jeremy shook his head sadly. "One face could never seem to leave my mind... It's a little embarrassing... that I'm about to confess to you right after an apology... Michael Mell, I don't think I'd survive without you. I don't expect you to agree, but I didn't think I should keep that from yo-"

Jeremy was cut off by Michael turning around to place a kiss to his cheek. He felt his face heat up as his gaze shot to Michael, a questioning look in his eyes.

Michael took a deep breath. "You mean to tell me, I've been hiding my feelings for you all this time, and YOU GOT TO CONFESS FIRST?!"

"W-Wait, what?" Jeremy began, a small smile inevitably tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Y-You like me back...?"

Michael sighed, exasperated. "I could ask the same thing to you! Last I checked, you were straight as hell." He crossed his arms in frustration.

"To be fair, I thought I was too," Jeremy noted, giggling slightly.

Michael slumped against Jeremy in a tired manner. "So much for hold it all in, Mell," he muttered, mostly to himself.

Jeremy frowned. "Why do you do that?" he asked. "... How long have you been holding your feelings in?"

Michael chuckled a little, sadly. "If it puts it into perspective, I've been crushing on you since middle school."

Jeremy gaped. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I.... didn't know how you would react. Then you told me you liked Christine... then the squip..." Michael hugged his knees to his chest, his voice growing quiet. "... I just didn't want to trouble you..."

Jeremy hugged Michael tightly. "I'm sorry... and I know... sorry doesn't make it alright. You deserve so much better than me, and I know the last thing I deserve is another shot, but..."

Michael's arms wrapped around Jeremy, returning the hug. He took in another deep breath. "I told you I loved you, didn't I?"

"Well, not technically..."

"Shit, well I do. I really love you, Jeremy. And what kind of person would I be if I couldn't forgive the person I love?" Michael buried his face in Jeremy's shoulder as both their faces went hot.

"So... We cool?" Jeremy asked awkwardly.

"We are," Michael confirmed, pulling away and wiping his face quickly.

"Why are you crying, you dork?" Jeremy asked, feeling tears forming on the corners of his eyes.

"You are too, idiot." Michael smiled through his own tears. "... By the way... you need to come up with some better pet names, dork is overused."

Jeremy laughed. "So we're official now?"

Michael stopped, growing a little nervous. "I mean as long as you're oka-"

Jeremy closed the distance between their lips quickly. When he pulled away, Michael brought his hand up to his mouth in disbelief.

"Yes. I'd like that very much."

"O-Oh... Okay," Michael said dumbly, turning to jelly in Jeremy's arms once more.

"Guess Rich could tell the future, huh?" Jeremy chuckled softly.

But Michael didn't respond, already happily snuggling into Jeremy's chest.

HECK!!! WE HAVENT UPDATED IN A WHILE, IM SORRY!!!

I was writing this when I was feeling kinda bummed, I'll be honest. A way of venting, per se.

But uh, hey! I'm still working on editing our Q&A so that's fun :') IMSORRYISHOULDHAVEBEENWORKINGONITBUTTHISCAMEUP

ANYWAYS! I hope you enjoyed this. It ended up longer than I thought. (I almost published without the authors note OOPS.)

Love you all! -May <3