it hurt. the thought of clicking the button. the thought of the dumb aliens invading him. "who is he to you, lana?" dr pam asked worried, "my brother." i replied my voice cracking at the words. "not anymore." dr pam said trying to comfort me. it didn't work, it just made it worse. "if you don't click the button, somebody else will, he's already dead, lana. it's the alien, not him." she said yet another thing.

anger boiled in my chest, "shut up! just shut up!" i yelled, i finally broke, i stood up a sharp pain in my thigh, "get it out of him! please! don't let him die! we can help him!" i begged, i couldn't bare the thought of losing yet another family member, especially tommy, he was the sweetest little boy, he loved everyone and everything, he wouldn't even hurt a fly. he loved the thought of a happy future, even in the darkest shit he'd find light, he'd find a way to cheer anyone up, he respected everyone. he thought that the aliens coming here would save our world, save him. but now they're killing him, they took a vulnerable, caring, and lovable young boy and killed him. i remember being so excited when i found out he was a boy, i had always wanted a brother, someone to protect me, and someone i could protect. i promised mom. i promised her. and i couldn't protect him, i'll always blame myself. always.

"please!" i begged sobs choking out of my throat, i walked up to the glass putting my hands on it. dr pam walked up to me, rubbed my back and said, "there's no saving him. if you want him in peace, kill the son of a bitch that killed him." i'd never heard dr pam cuss, but i wasn't worried about that, my forehead was pressed against the glass staring at tommy's face, my tears stained my face.

after about five minutes, i sat back down in the chair. she slid over a white machine. "look through the glass." dr pam instructed. i did as told. there was this nasty booger green thing pulsing in his head. "that's the invasion." dr pam explained.

i glared at the son of a bitch. "you just have to push this red button. right here." she said handing it over. my thumb hovered over it, he's already dead lana just push the damn button, i thought to myself, dammit push the damn button! my voice screamed in my head and i did so. i watched it fall. dropping the button to the floor i let go of the white thing and walked towards the glass i seen my brothers head sunken. then it slowly went back to a mirror. "no! bring him back!" i begged yet again screaming my lungs off. "he's gone lana, he's been gone. you didn't kill him, you killed the thing that did." dr pam told me.

didn't help. but after i calmed down she told me to go take a shower now that i was healed enough to shower myself. apparently i would be going to meet the leader of the squad i would be in. i prayed i'd be with amélie, we'll now cinderella.

i walked into the shower discarding my clothes she had on me, as the water hit my face so did tears. now all i had was amélie and tobi, if they're even still alive. i've lost everyone and everything. i looked up in the water burning my eyes even more. it felt nice to feel a pain that wasn't mental. after ten minutes i got out of the shower with a my lips straight across and a blank expression in my eyes. i looked dead.

"i'm sergeant vosch." a man says waiting for me to get out of the shower holding a t-shirt and underwear. i had a towel wrapped around me, the water from my hair soaking into my skin. i look up at the much, much older man, i take the clothes. "can you turn around?" i asked, he turns around.

i drop my towel and change into the clothes. "done." i said simply, he turns around. "stand up straight." he demands. i do so. "you're not lana snyder anymore." he stated firmly, i didn't question how he knew my name, i didn't care how he knew my name. "you're now private dove." that nickname made me want to punch him in the mouth. but i knew i couldn't.

the dark meaning behind the name dove; its appearance is associated with death and mourning, and it is often seen as an omen of bad news. the bird's dark plumage is a reminder of the darkness that follows a loss, and its mournful cooing can evoke feelings of sadness and despair. in many cultures, the black dove is also associated with grief and sorrow.

i sighed before saying, "yeah." he looked at me like i was insane, "sir. yes, sir. is what is to be said." he stated coldly, "i'll let it slide now, but with reznik he'll make you do fifty knuckle pushups." i nod. "you're in barrack fifty-three. your group leader is private zombie." he stated before escorting me to the barrack. we walked in silence. i was fine with it.

by time we got to the barrack, he stopped before walking away. i take a deep breath, it's like going to a new school. i open the door to reveal a group of people in the same clothes i was in just depended on the gender.

all eyes turn on me. i look at them all with no expression, "whose this zombie guy?" i asked looking at everyone. "me." a guy around my age says from a bunk. i walk over to him, "hm." i hum, he looks up at me confused, "you were popular weren't you?" i asked looking him directly in his eyes, they looked familiar just couldn't pin point it. "what does it matter now?" he asked scanning his eyes over my body. "where's my bed?" i asked coldly. he pointed over at a bed in the far left of the room.

i walk over to the bed. "damn girl." a voice peered through the room. i turned around, "got a nice ass." i guy with a unibrow stated with a smirk. i grinded my teeth against each other in fury, "come on flint, don't start this shit." zombie said getting up, i just stared at the guy my eyes had anger waving through them.

"i mean just look at her, you can't tell me that you wouldn't want to get a piece of that." he said his eyes now roaming up and down my body. i marched up to him, "take it back." i stated angrily, a stupid cocky smirk came over his face. "take it back, before you regret it." i said now more demanding. he didn't, "why when i can just imagine, my hands cupping—" before he could finish his sentence the palm of my hand collided with his nose sending him stumbling back, his hand flying over his nose to cup it.

"how did that feel? did it feel nice? the sensation you wanted from my body? huh?" i said starting to get more pissed at his disgusting thoughts. "you're a real bitch!" a younger boy yelled at me. "i'm bleeding, you whore!" the disgusting perv shouted, i went to move at him, "stand down, private dove." zombie white grabbing my wrist. "fuck off." i said swatting his hand off of mine.

the sound of a little boy crying pierced my ears. "you're making nugget cry." that name, that name. nuggets! nugget? i looked behind zombie to see him. sammy. my face dropped, heart hammering. i pushed passed zombie. "don't touch him." he said grabbing my arm, "get off of me." i said pulling my arm out of his grip. i look back at them before whispering to sammy, "do you remember me?" i asked. he nodded before coming forward whispering in my ear, "lana." i nodded my head at him. "that's right, but i'm dove now. don't say my name. you got that?" i said firmly, he nodded. "and you're nugget." i said nodding, his arms wrapped around my neck i pulled him off the bed, holding him tightly in my arms.

everyone looked at us confused. "is this your sister?" zombie asked after i put him down. "no. i'm not." i said facing zombie, "where's cassie?" sammy or nugget says. "lost her." i stated blankly. "amélie and tobi?" he asked yet another question. "somewhere here." i said before walking over to my bed. he followed me like a lost puppy everyone staring, "and daddy? where's my daddy?" he asked yet another question, "dammit, stop with all these questions!" i snapped turning on my heal, "and stop following me!"

he stopped dead in his tracks, tears welding in his eyes. i knew i hurt his feelings, but i can't care. i wanted to just pull him into a hug, but resisted. "you're mean now." he said with a soft cry. "that's how life works. it's the end of the damn world. be nice; die. be mean; survive." i said hastily.

zombie glared at me as he walked up to nugget. "let's leave her alone for now." he said directing nugget away from me.

i laid on my bed looking up at the top bunk. my hands grabbed the dog tag that matt gave me, my fingers traced over it, but i couldn't find the locket my grandpa had given me. i got up quickly to check the ground. and once again everyone looked at me like i was insane. "dove?" zombie said in a questioning tone. i walked over to nugget. "did you take it? the locket?" i asked getting to his level, "your papals?" he asked his eyebrows furrowing, "yes." i said with hope that he did. he shook his head.

"shit." i said before standing up i closed my eyes taking a deep breath. and walked back to my bunk. i couldn't show them that i cared so much about a damn object. they'll think i'm weak so i'll keep it to myself.

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e/n: i'm aware this chapter is terrible but bare with me okay 😭