I drove without thinking to Xander's garage.

Despite warnings of a seemingly annual close-to-Christmas 'disappearing act,' I figured there was one place he couldn't possibly stay away from.

The Garage.

Besides, I had news and I needed to share.

I just knew he'd be happy for me.

~*~

The garage was empty when I walked from my car.

"Is anyone here today?" I asked aloud; it was that deserted. I stopped, peering up and down the street, wondering if I should just stop by another day.

That's when I saw Xander's car.

I continued on towards the Beetle.

He was here.

Score : 1 for Thalia Rose.

The sound of the jilted whirr of an engine kept one foot in front of the other.

I paused before entering.

"Knock, knock, Stranger," I called, jerking Xander to attention from the speculative stance he took in front of my engine, watching as the parts moved, hood up.

"Jesus," he said breathlessly, whirling around to face me. "You gave me a fucking heart attack."

"Hello to you, too," I said, reminding myself too much of my brother.

"Yeah, hey," he grunted in response, his face contorted into an unrelenting scowl.

"Yeah..." I said softly, sliding slowly into the garage. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," he replied shortly. He stared into the engine, pulling on his brown hair with visible frustration. By the looks of things, it seemed like he'd been doing that all morning. "What are you doing here, Thal?"

I laughed aloud. "Okay, I'm going to pretend like you didn't just ask me that question."

"I mean," Xander stressed, "it's Christmas Eve, Thalia."

"And?" I shrugged. "What's your point?"

Xander didn't change his expression. "What are you doing here with me?"

"I've been in here nearly every day for the past two weeks," I said as if he'd suddenly forgotten. "Why change things now?"

Xander grunted some unaudible response in a reply that I chose to ignore. He was in some kind of crappy mood that I couldn't quite understand.

I shrugged it off. "Hey!" I exclaimed, startling him again with my outburst. "Hey, are you going to Eliza's party?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. Then, he turned to me. "Are you?"

And for the first time that day, I saw how tired he was. Puffy circles darkened his eyes, his forehead creased.

I nodded slowly. "Yes," I said. "I mean," I chuckled, "an ugly sweater party seems right up my alley."

"Yeah," Xander said, turning again towards the car. "Well, the guys'll be there so..." The thought died on his tongue. "Yeah."

Silence.

But, I didn't give it a chance to grow. I wanted Xander to talk to me. I wanted to know what was wrong.

"So, when are we going to be able to go for a joyride?"

Xander turned around to stare at me inquisitively. "What?"

"So," I tried again, "when are you and I going to be able to go for a joyride in my Beetle?"

He laughed aloud, wiping a greasy wrench on the towel typically slung over his shoulder. "Good one, Thal."

"What do you mean, 'good one?'" I demanded. "You aren't going to ride with me once the car is done?"

"Probably not," he said with a quick shake of his head.

"I don't believe this! Are you serious?"

"I have a thing with two-door's," he sighed. "I really don't like 'em, Thal."

"Xander," I huffed, "you work with all kinds of cars all day long."

"That I know," his lip curved down. "Doesn't make me like 'em any."

"Alright," I exclaimed, rising from my seat on the hood. "What's up with you today?"

"Nothing," Xander said, not even bothering to look up.

"Really? Because you seem kind of pissy."

"Well, I'm not," he snapped.

I let a short laugh reverberate across the walls of the garage. "Do you hear yourself? Who am I to you, Nikita?"

"Of course you fuckin' aren't," he shot back. "What the fuck, Thal?"

"No, what the fuck, Xander?" I demanded. "Do you not want me here today? Is that what this is?"

"Of course not! You know you can always come by! Don't be so goddamn dramatic."

"I'm being dramatic? Xander, you're like a different person today!"

"Fuckin' god, Thalia," he cursed, banging his hand on the side of the hood. "Yes," he hissed. "Yeah, you fuckin' are."

"Okay, look," I sighed, lowering my tone because there was very obviously something very wrong with him today. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?" He laughed without humor. "There's nothing to fucking talk about."

I didn't take my eyes off of him. "Xander, you're my friend, okay?" I said, approaching him slowly, like one would do a caged animal. "I'm really just trying to help."

"With what, Thalia?" He snapped. "I'm fine, okay?"

"Okay, but--"

"God!" He screamed. "Fucking Jesus, Thal! You don't always have to fix things, alright! Can't I be fine? Is it so hard to believe that I'm okay; that I'm alright? Can't you just fucking leave me alone?"

I fell back into my car like I'd been slapped across the face.

For seconds I just stood there, eyes wide in shock. It literally took me a moment to process what had just happened.

Xander was actually angry...but, with me.

Me?

I couldn't believe it.

The shock must have been written in bold, underlined and italicized across my face, because Xander's eyes met mine and he immediately took a step back.

"Wait," he rubbed his eyes with a closed fist, "Thalia..."

I shook my head. "No, it's okay," I said, checking back into reality. "It's cool," I shrugged. "I mean, I guess you're right."

"No, Thalia, I didn't mean--"

I jerked my thumb towards the exit, backing away from Xander. "I should go," I said over my shoulder, moving faster as Xander stepped towards me.

"Thalia, wait!"

But, my legs were taking me from the garage quicker, now. My power-walk had turned into a full on jog as I raced towards the fence that separated me from my mom's car.

I reached for the metal gate, blinking away the tears that threatened to spill onto the concrete. I had never been yelled at like that before. My friends, not even my brother, had been that angry with me...well, that is before Nikita.

Throwing the door open, I reached for the keys in my back pocket, fumbling to unlock the Volvo as I attempted to remove myself from the O'Hara's garage as fast as I possibly could.

I almost made it.

The gate closed against my will, and through the corner of my blurry eyes I could see Xander's fingers hooked through the chain links, pulling the door closed and me back inside.

Damn.

"Thalia, Thalia, please," he begged, linking his fingers through the fence on either side of my shoulders.

I looked everywhere but him. "What?" I ground out. "What do you want?"

He placed one hand on my back, pulling me away from the fence as he tipped my head back with his other hand, forcing me to look into his chocolate brown eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said. His eyes searched mine, brow furrowed.

"Yeah," I shrugged, "well--"

"No, no," he said, shaking his head, "I'm so sorry. "

"Whatever, it's fine," I said, shaking from his grasp. "Look, I've really got to go, so..."

I hooked my fingers through the fence, pushing open the gate so fast I almost wanted to pat myself on the back.

Too bad Xander was faster.

"Thalia, please stop?" He asked, grabbing me around the waist and spinning me around. "Thalia, please?"

"Xander, I'm fine! Let me go!"

"No, Thal, please, listen to me?" He asked, tightening his hold around my waist. We were so close now I knew the grease from his clothes were leaving marks on mine. "Thalia, you're right," he laughed contemptuously. "You're right, okay? I just didn't want to hear it. I have been in a bad mood. I have been pissy."

"Thanks," I snapped, sarcasm dripping from my lips. "It's so nice to be appreciated."

"Look, you can ask anyone; today's a day I usually don't go out, okay? Usually people don't," he paused, eyes never leaving mine, "they don't see me today, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. You should have never, ever--"

He shook his head.

"Remember when I said I trusted you? Do you remember that? When you asked me if we were friends?"

I gave him a small, tired nod. "Yes," I said.

"Well," Xander loosened his grip slightly from around my body, "well, today's..." He squeezed his eyes shut, and when he opened them, he cleared his throat loudly, "Today's December 24th, right?"

"Thanks, I've got a calendar."

"I know you do," he sighed. "But, it's the twenty-fourth, and it is, or, it was, I mean, I guess it...well, it should be my mom's..." His last words came out in a rush, as if it physically pained him to say, "It's my mom's birthday."

I blinked.

Once.

Twice.

"Xander, I--"

"It's okay, Thalia," he said, offering the tiniest of smiles. "It's okay. I thought I could come out here today and work on your car; I thought it would make me feel better. You'd think after seven years I'd be okay, that I'd move on--" He shut his eyes again. "You'd think--" But, he stopped himself, shaking his head.

"Thalia," he whispered, and this time it took all I seemed to have not to cry for a completely different reason.

"It's okay, Xander," I mustered, because what would I look like crying? How could that possibly make the situation better? I cleared my throat, rubbing his arm. "It's okay."

"She'd be forty-nine today," he said. "You know," he chuckled, "she never wanted to open presents on her birthday because she wanted to wait and do it with us on Christmas."

I peered up at him. "Yeah?"

"And every year she'd drive us to the beach to watch the sun rise because she didn't know what time she was born," he shook his head.

I smiled.

"She loved baseball, Thal," he said. "She loved it. She was at every game, every practice..." He looked away, blocking the sun from my eyes as he turned to stare out at the street. "Then, when she got too sick," his voice dropped into a whisper, "Peter's mom, she'd video tape everything for her so she could watch in the hospital."

A car horn sounded in the distance, sirens fading into the cool breezes and afternoon air as I watched Xander clench his jaw, eyelids squeezing shut.

"Thal," he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Thal, it's been seven years, Thal."

That's when I threw my arms around Xander's torso, closing whatever small space was between him as I gripped him into a hug.

Xander tensed.

"I understand," I whispered, rubbing his back where I could reach; he was that much taller. "You don't have to explain it to me. It's okay."

"Thal..."

"Xander," I said, cheek against his chest, "It's okay. I'm..." I was at a loss for words. "I'm here for you."

Now, I felt Xander relax.

Now, I felt his shoulders fall against me with a long sigh.

Now, I felt Xander grip my back tighter, his face in the crook of my neck, his cheek and lips pressed against the exposed skin of my shoulder as he held on, tight, then tighter, as he crushed me to his body.

"Thalia," he said, voice muffled against my sweater. "Thalia..."

I just held on.

"It's okay," I kept saying, although I didn't know if it was or not. All I knew, was that Xander O'Hara was in need of a hug.

"Thalia," he said, "don't go."

"I'm right here, Xander."

"No," he shook his head against me. "Don't leave me, Thalia."

The duality of that statement chopped a piece from heart and dropped it on the concrete. Forever, I think, a piece of me was left in front of the gate of the O'Hara's garage, because it was that day that I would always regret making the one promise I knew I could never keep.

"I'm not, Xander," I whispered, wide-eyed against his torso. "I'm not going anywhere."

~*~

On my way home, I stopped at the drugstore and bought a pack of gummy bears.

I didn't eat them. Instead, I tucked them in my purse, where they would sit until that afternoon when I realized, hands gripping my mom's steering wheel, that I never got the chance to tell Xander my good news. I never got the chance to tell Xander that Roman had finally done it; he'd asked me out.

It was official: Roman was taking me out on a date.

~*~

"Mom?"

I locked the door behind me, practically throwing my belongings towards the stairs as I entered the house.

"Mom?"

I shook my coat onto the floor.

"MOM?!?"

"Yes? Thalia?" She stepped into the hall, wiping her hands upon her apron.

"Sheesh," my brother called from the top of the stairs. "What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Aaron, language!" She exclaimed, shaking her head as I ran towards her. "Thalia? What's wrong, my love?" She took in the grease stains on my dress. "And why are you so dirty?"

I shook my head, saying nothing. I simply threw my arms around her neck and squeezed.

"Thal--" She breathed, as she brought slowly her hands around my back, cradling me in her arms. "Thalia, are you alright?"

I pulled away and smiled. "Yes," I nodded, before crushing her again into my hug.

"Okay...?" She replied. I could tell she was confused but, she said nothing of it. "I love you, Thal."

I could smell the spices she'd been using in the kitchen, mixed with the shampoo she used to detangle her thick head of hair. I loved those smells. I loved them, and I hadn't realized that I was taking them all for granted.

"I love you too, Mom. I love you, too."

-~*~-

I'm apologizing in advance for the emotional rollercoaster I have/am about to take you all on!

P.S. Thalia's mommy is so cute and confused. :P

P.P.S. Is anyone else excited for Roman and Thalia's date? Because I know I am!

I heart ya'll. Vomment <3