"So I assume the honeymoon was good? You guys look great."

Bucky threw his suitcase at Steve, huffing with a heavily sarcastic tone, "yeah, Steve. It was amazing. My favorite part was getting texts from you at all hours of the day, asking how things were going. What the hell, man?"

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, "by now you know that trouble follows you two around, and I guess I was nervous."

You sat down wearily on the couch, kicking off your shoes and tucking your legs beneath you. You never really were one to enjoy flying, and the feeling of being able to move freely was almost a luxury at the moment. "Steve, you need to lock that down. It's hard to believe that Captain America still has such bad anxiety. You know we can handle ourselves."

"Well, I think it's just worse when it comes to you two idiots." He threw your luggage into your room and took a seat by you. "You can't really blame me, can ya? Or should I do a run down of every time you guys have been almost arrested, abducted, injured or killed?"

"Point taken," you said with a dismissive cough. "So, Rogers, you said you had something you wanted to talk to us about? I can only assume it's more important than letting me get a nap after a twelve hour flight?"

Bucky appeared from the kitchen with three beers in hand and a skeptical look on his face. He moved behind you, handing you a bottle and bending down for a quick kiss as he passed by. "What could be more important than keeping my wife happy?" he winked and moved to sit on the floor in front of you, humming quietly to himself as you ran your fingers casually through his hair.

Steve took a deep breath and grabbed his drink from Bucky. He took several swallows and looked from you to your husband a few times before finding the resolve to finally speak. You knew where this was going; you had expected this conversation to happen from the day that Bucky regained his memory. You knew exactly why he was stalling, and why he insisted on meeting you so quickly after the two of you had returned.

"I have some people that I want you guys to meet."

~~~

You sat with Bucky on a bench in the middle of Central Park, watching a group of kids run up and down the mall as their parents watched them burn off their exuberant amount of energy. The trees were just beginning to change to their beautiful reds, oranges, and yellows of fall, and the leaves were piling up everywhere you looked. The kids had begun to gather them up and jump in, squealing with joy at the sound of crunching leaves beneath them. It was a cool fall day, and you realized that you couldn't remember when you last took the time to enjoy one like this.

"Babe, what's on your mind?"

"Just enjoying the day," you said. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"You're beautiful."

"You're biased," you laughed, nudging him with your shoulder.

Bucky paused and studied your face, trying to gauge your emotions. "So really, what are you thinking about? Are you having second thoughts?" He shifted on the bench to turn towards you and grabbed your hand. "Tell me now and we'll just head home and forget the whole thing."

You would be lying if you said you hadn't considered it about a thousand times leading up to now. Steve was the worst liar you had ever met; he said it would be a small meet-and-greet to get to know his friends, who were 'very eager' to meet you; you knew he wanted you to meet the Avengers so they could convince you both to join them. You barely knew Natasha, who still hadn't made the connection that you had tried to kill her not so long ago, and you had only met Tony for a moment. There was no reason for this group to be so interested in meeting you other than for your skills; Steve's lie was full of holes, but that was no surprise.

"No, it's not that. I'm just...I'm just thinking about the future, what it will look like for us now." You had been watching the kids run around and now finally turned to face him. "You want to do this, don't you?"

"We could maybe finally do some good. Maybe start to make up for some of the things we've done, so yeah, I do."

You turned back to look at the scene playing out in front of you, the moms beginning to gather their kids together. "Do you ever think about this?" you said as you pointed at the groups, your voice soft and a bit nervous to ask.

Bucky sighed loudly, so much so that you could see the rise and fall of his chest in your peripheral vision. "I did. A long time ago, but not anymore."

"Why not?"

He reached out a put his hand under your chin, forcing you to look at him and away from anything that might distract you. "Because I don't know what they did to us, (Y/N). I don't know what would happen if we tried to have a family. I'm terrified of what might happen, if we are even able to do that in the first place. We just don't know."

He was right. You had the same fear, but you never allowed yourself to put it into words. You were holding on to some hope that you could ignore it and just move on, but he was right. You didn't know what the experimentations had done to either of you, and it would be reckless and selfish to consider starting a family without knowing.

You nodded silently and turned your face away, muffling a small sniffle as you stood to take his hand. If this was going to be your life now, then the least you could do was commit to making it a positive one and maybe even help a few people along the way. "Come on, Barnes, let's make them work for it."

~~~

When you walked into the tower, Steve was the first to greet you, looking very excited that you were there; he almost looked giddy, and it worried you that you would let him down if this introduction didn't go as he had hoped. You had taken the last few days to study up on the Avengers, so you knew what they were about and who they were, but you were anxious to see them in person and working as a team.

"I was worried you guys would change your mind. You look great, (Y/N)." Steve leaned down to place a kiss on your cheek and took your arm.

"Wow, I must look good. You're the second person to say that today."

Steve began to walk you towards the group but Bucky put his arm out to stop him. "Hey, man. Where you taking my wife?" He took your other arm, and now it looked as if it were up to you to decide which man would escort you. You opened your mouth to protest, but the man from the wedding stepped up and offered you his own hand.

"Hey, nice to see you guys again! I'm Tony, if you don't remember me, but why wouldn't you?" he took your hand and brought it to his lips, then placed it over his arm. "Thanks, fellas. I've got this." As he led you away you looked back at your boys with a smirk.

Bucky leaned in towards Steve, his eyes still on you, "do I need to be worried?"

"About Tony? No, not at all." Steve's eyes followed you and Tony, laughing quietly to himself, "he just has a way with the ladies." His eyes widened just a bit when Tony leaned in closer to talk to you, his hand on the small of your back and now too close for Steve's comfort. "Yeah, quite the way." He walked up behind you and slid his arm around your waist, pulling you back just a bit to make the space between you and Tony less intimate.

"Stark, behave. This is a newly married woman, remember."

Stark. Accidents will happen.

You shook your head a bit at the voice in your head. It gave you a chill and made you feel empty for just a moment. Your muscles tensed at the uncomfortable sensation that you hadn't felt in years.

"Hey, you okay?" Steve turned you towards him, noticing the change in your demeanor immediately.

"Yeah, I'm good. Sorry, just lost in thought for a second." You gave him a reassuring smile and looked around the room, taking in the surroundings and trying to clear your mind to enjoy the time spent here. "So, who else do we have? Is Thor here?"

Steve laughed and took your arm once again, "of course you want to meet Thor. You know, there might be an opening in his fan club if you're interested."

"Shut up, Rogers. The jealousy is really unbecoming."

"I'm not...I'm not jealous..." he scoffed, trying to cover the fact that maybe he was, just a little. "He's just a very popular guy...with the ladies."

Steve had gone on to introduce you and Bucky to each member of the team one by one, and it was ultimately decided that if they were going to offer the two of you a place with them, then your skills would need to be assessed and a vote would be taken. You weren't worried and offered to do it right away.

"Now?" Bucky laughed, "you're wearing heels, baby. I don't stand a chance."

"That was one time, Buck."

Bruce's head snapped up to look at you and Bucky, then around to the team. "What was one time? What did you do with them?"

You laughed, grabbing Bucky's hand as you stood, "sorry, Bruce. I don't know you well enough to give away my secrets just yet." You looked at Steve and pulled off your shoes, waving them at him, "alright Rogers, let's do it. I'll leave my weapons here."

~~~

You zipped up the workout suit that Steve had found for you, standing to look at yourself in the mirror. The reflection woke a part of you that had been kept quiet for some time now, since you had regained your memories. You could feel your muscles become anxious and eager for the fight that you were about to enter, but you would be lying to yourself if you didn't feel nervous.

"Babe, let's go." Bucky stuck his head into the locker room, and you laughed when you saw him covering his eyes, trying to always be the gentleman.

"Ain't nothing you haven't seen already, Buck." You gave yourself one last look before heading to the gym, preparing yourself to be on full display for the team; a team that you already knew you wanted to be a part of.

When you entered the room you made a mental note of where each team member was sitting, the layout of the room and the exits, and anything that could be used as a weapon. It wasn't that you needed to know this anymore; it was a habit that had stuck with you, but you were now glad that it had. You took your place on the end of the mat, watching as Bucky took his place at the other. It had been a long time since the two of you sparred together, but when you did, it usually became intense and actually quite violent.

"So Cap," you asked, "how hard do you want this to be?"

He looked around at his teammates, who were offering no opinion but looked entertained already. "How do you mean?"

"Rogers, come on. Are we doing rudimentary skill or a fight to the death here? Because you know we can do that too." You smiled at the sound of Bucky's laugh, giving you a wink as he crouched down into a fighting stance.

Steve cleared his throat nervously, envisioning what that would look like and how he would stop it if necessary, realizing that he might not be able to. "How's about somewhere just before death, alright?"

You crouched down to mimic Bucky's stance and nodded, your face emotionless now and your focus sharp. Your mind was racing with every move that Bucky would throw at you, attempting to formulate every countermove that you would need to take the upper hand. His metal arm was the real threat to you, but you had a few tricks up your sleeve for that.

A low growl and a sneer came from your husband, and his eyes grew dark. You charged forward as he matched your speed. When you connected at the center of the mat, a loud gasp from the team filled the room.

~~~

"Did he just...oh, shit, did he just snap her wrist?"

"Yeah, but she's not slowing down. Rogers, these two are insane. Amazing, but completely insane."

Steve stepped up behind Clint and Bruce, whispering as he watched his two best friends tear each other apart like it was nothing, "those two were Hydra. No prisoners, remember?"

Clint shook his head, clearly in disbelief of what he was watching, "what did they do to them anyway...Oh, damn, she's got him!" He grabbed Steve's arm and stood, moving a few steps forward for a better view. You had pinned Bucky down, your legs intertwined in his, one arm securing his metal one, and the other squeezing his throat. "Is she gonna knock him out?"

Steve pushed past Clint, seeing that you weren't releasing your grip any time soon. "(Y/N), let go." When you didn't comply right away, he grabbed your arm and struggled to pull it away, worried that you would strike out at him. "Hey," he whispered to you, "wherever you are, come back."

~~~

"Please, you don't have to do this. We won't cause any trouble. We won't tell anyone that you were here."

You stood next to Bucky, watching the man and woman try to pull themselves from the wreckage of their accident, their bodies already broken but still alive. Your orders were to leave neither of them alive or face your own demise. These two were a high priority if Hydra was to survive.

"You take her, I can finish him," Bucky whispered, "no weapons. This has to look like an accident." Bucky stepped down the hill towards the overturned vehicle, reaching in to pull the silver haired man out and onto the grass.

"Howard!"

"Quiet," you commanded the woman as you reached in for her. "you will stay quiet."

The woman struggled to release your grip on her, and struggled to breathe under the pressure from your hand. "Please," she gasped, "I have a son." Your eyes widened and you pulled your hand away as if her skin was burning you. She collapsed forward in the seat, her hands covering her throat and taking in air desperately.

Your spine stiffened when you heard Bucky approach behind you moments later, knowing that he would be disappointed in you for not having this job completed already. You looked at the woman with a sadness in your eyes, fully aware that even though you couldn't finish this, he would do so without sympathy or hesitation.

As his arm reached around you, you looked away, hearing a huff of disbelief from him and a scream from the woman that was silenced in mere seconds.

~~~

You released your hold on Bucky and pushed yourself back and away from him. You were shaking at the memory that played out in your head, terrified of what you had seen. Bucky flipped over and moved towards you quickly, trying to get your attention and calm you.

"Baby, hey, it's okay." He held your face in his hands and tried to make eye contact with you, but you resisted. "(Y/N), please, look at me."

Your eyes wouldn't connect with his; they would only connect with Tony. Your heart broke at the sight of him, and even though he had no idea what had played out in your head, you were ashamed to be near him. You pushed Bucky away and stood to run from the room, leaving your husband and best friend desperate to know what had just happened.