Helpful tip: Memories are written in italics.

You looked down at your scraped knee, dirt and blood mixing together in a stinging pain that brought tears to your eyes. If you got blood on your dress, your mother was sure to paddle your behind when you got home.

"Stop being so mean!" You hollered at the bully who pushed you to the ground, when all you wanted was to walk home without a day of dealing with him. At the age of six, you had already dealt with this more than any grown-up you knew. "Why do you always pick on me?"

"Cuz it's easy!" The boy stepped forward and pulled your hair, making you yell out and cry even harder. "And I know you don't have a daddy to come save you, so there's no one to fight back!"

You could feel your hands start to shake and your chest shuddered with each breath as you tried to stop the tears, but to no success. You were about to try to stand and run when you heard a thud as the boy landed on the ground next to you.

"Hey, are you okay?"

When you looked up there was a boy, about your same age, with big eyes and brown hair, reaching down to help you stand. Another scrawny blonde boy stood next to him, his fists clenched and raised in front of him, watching the bully to be sure he didn't get up again.

"I'm okay," you said through sniffles with a shaky voice. "I'm used to it."

"That's not right. No one should treat a girl like that. We'll make sure this doesn't happen again, okay? What's your name?"

"(Y/N)," you said as you stood next to him, straightening out your dirty skirt and doing your best to shake the dirt away.

"I'm James, but my friends call me Bucky. So I think that's what you should call me, too." His smile was wide and bright, and it made his eyes sparkle. "This skinny punk over here is Steve."

"Hi," the blonde boy said shyly, his hand coming up in a half-hearted wave, still watching the bully for signs of movement. "Hey, Buck, we should probably take a hike before he wakes up, yeah?"

Bucky grabbed your hand and began to walk away from the scene, with Steve repeatedly glancing over his shoulder, on the lookout for the bully to wake and try to chase you. "Come on, we're gonna walk you home."

You pulled your hand away, hesitantly, knowing your mother wouldn't like you walking home with boys. "I can make it on my own, thanks."

"The thing is, you don't have to."

---

"If you resist the procedure, it will only make it harder, (Y/N), and resisting is pointless."

"My memories...are all I have left...of him," you panted, "you can't...take them."

The scientist walked slowly and menacingly around the gurney that held you, strapped tightly so that you couldn't attempt an escape. When you looked at his face, you swore his eyes were black; he was emotionless and cold.

"I can see that this will be much more difficult than we had planned." He nodded to his counterpart, and within seconds the searing pain in your head began again.

~~~

Bucky's laughter echoed out into the night sky from atop the ferris wheel, his big idea for a first date at Coney Island. He knew that heights didn't sit well with you, but made no attempt to hide his reaction when the ride jerked to a stop with the two of you at the highest point. You turned quickly to him and curled into his chest, clinging to his shirt as if your life depended on it, and he immediately wrapped his arms around you, though still laughing.

"Doll, we're fine! I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, I promise!" He leaned forward and looked over the edge, "Ain't that right, Stevie?"

Steve looked up from the seat just below yours, trying be a better gentleman but failing as a laugh escaped his lips. "That's right, (Y/N)! If you fall, I'll catch you! Just be sure to fall over this way!"

Bucky felt your hands clench tighter on his shirt and gave Steve a stern look, "Hey man, not funny!"

"Rogers, you're such a jerk!" You yelled, but your voice was muffled from having your face still buried in Bucky's jacket.

The ride suddenly jerked forward and back into motion; you gasped loudly at the shift, your stomach tying into knots and becoming uneasy. "Are we almost done?"

"Yeah, it looks like they're letting everyone off." When you didn't release him, he started to become concerned that he had really messed this up. It took him months to get you to agree to a real date, and he was panicking. "Hey, are you okay? I'm sorry (Y/N), didn't realize it would be this bad for you."

When the door was opened for you to step out of the chair, you released him and quickly made your way to the exit with him in tow. "I think you should take Rogers on the Cyclone; I'll sit this one out. Don't need anyone throwing up on you, right?."

~~~

Tears stung your cheeks as they ran down your face, the pain in your head incessant now. The memories of Bucky and Steve were becoming hazy no matter how hard you willed them to stay clear in your mind. They were winning, but you wouldn't stop fighting. Bucky didn't die so that you could give up, and you sure as hell weren't going to become one of the bastards who had killed him.

The man in the black lab coat stood over you, writing something on a notebook as he watched you. With each jolt of electricity that attacked your mind, he would write more and turn dials and move switches accordingly.

Another man approached him and grabbed his arm to turn away from you so that you wouldn't hear what was being said. This only piqued your curiosity and you strained to hear him through your pain. The words were mumbled and hushed, thick with an accent that made it hard to distinguish each word. But there was one word that you caught; one that you would never mistake for another.

"Barnes."

~~~

"You look lovely, sweetheart. I'm just glad we were able to get this dress for you." Your mom was putting the finishing touches on your hair as you put a light brush of bright red color over your lips. Bucky always said that the red brought out the sparkle in (Y/C) eyes, and you couldn't help but agree with him today.

The relationship with your mother had been a rough one, ever since your father left, and it was sometimes a struggle just to get by. For her to find this dress for your first formal dance was nothing short of a miracle, and you resolved to keep it for the rest of your life.

The doorbell rang just as she placed the final pin in your hair, placing a small kiss on your cheek before running to meet your date for the evening. When the door opened, you let out a gasp at the sight; you had never seen Bucky in a suit before, and he was the most handsome man you had ever laid eyes on.

"Ma'am," he said, slightly bowing and handing a flower to your mother, "I would like to ask for the honor of taking your daughter to the dance this evening."

"Wow," you sighed under your breath, shocked at his formality and manners. It made him only that much more attractive. "Um...mom, this is Bucky," you stepped next to your mom and took the flowers that Bucky was holding out for you, "Buck, this is my mom."

"I can see where you get your beauty from."

Okay, now he was laying it on a little too thick. "Alright, mom could you put these in a vase for me? I think we should go so we aren't late." You leaned over to kiss her cheek as you passed, grabbing the doorknob to shut it firmly behind you so that she wouldn't think to follow.

"Wow, Barnes. Quite the ladies man, I see."

He took a step forward towards you with that bright smile that always melted you to your core; his eyes were darkened but still had the sparkle that you loved so much. You leaned back against the door, feeling almost breathless as he wrapped his hands around your waist and pushed himself against you.

"No, (Y/N). You are all I need. All I'll ever need." You had never kissed him before, but when his lips met yours it was all that you had ever imagined. His lips were soft and strong, and his hands tightened around you as the kiss deepened. When he pulled back he was breathless, keeping his eyes closed as he rested his forehead against yours.

"Why the hell did we wait so long for that?" he whispered.

"Because we're idiots."

~~~

It had now been days since Hydra captured you, or maybe weeks, you weren't really sure; all you knew was that your body was betraying your resolve to survive. You were tired, in pain, and starving, but you refused their offers of food and water. If this was the life they were promising you, a life wiped clean of your memories, of Bucky, then you would rather take the opportunity away from them on your own terms.

Breaks from the torture were few and far between, but in this one it was as if you were almost forgotten. The room was frantic, people running from one spot to another, yelling and acting crazy. Something had happened, and it was something big.

"The Redskull has fallen," you finally heard over the noise and chaos. "But celebrate that he has taken our greatest enemy Rogers with him!"

The sound of the name brought tears that were immediate and unrelenting. There was a stabbing pain in your chest, and your breaths became uneven and rapid; you couldn't comprehend what you had just heard. Steve was your last hope to be found, your last chance to survive. You had now lost your one great love and the man you loved like a brother. You couldn't control the sobs as they came, and you began to hyperventilate. The room began to spin from the lack of oxygen, and you welcomed the darkness as you fell unconscious.

~~~

"At least she's next to dad." Steve stood motionless, staring down into the small grave that held a cheaply made casket, but it was all that he could afford. "I wish I could've done more, ya know?"

You stood at your friend's side with your arm linked in his, resting your head on his shoulder. Bucky stood at his other side with a supportive hand on Steve's shoulder. "What can we do?" you asked quietly, not sure if he would even accept any help. Steve was much too stoic for that.

"It's okay, guys. I knew this day would come, and having you here now is enough." He sighed and turned to kiss your head, "come on, let's go."

You continued to hold his arm as you walked back into the city, towards the small apartment that would now be his alone. When you finally reached the door he searched his pockets for the key, but came up with nothing. Bucky turned to kick a small rock to the side, producing the spare key Steve had hidden but forgotten.

"You gonna be okay, pal?" Bucky asked, "do you want to stay with me for a while? We can throw the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids." He chuckled quietly, hoping to break a little of the sadness, never one to take anything seriously, "and hey, I found me a girl who can cook! You can't turn that down?"

Steve smiled, but it was weak and empty, only for Bucky's benefit. The sadness in his eyes and the despair that filled his body was evident in his stature as he stood with his hand on the door. He looked broken, and you didn't know what to do for him. You had never encountered a death like this before.

"I'm so sorry, Steve." You grabbed him in a hug, crying now for the first time that day. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart." When you released him and stepped back, he didn't say anything. He just nodded and stepped through the door, closing it gently behind him.

You wiped your eyes and looked at Bucky, but it only made the tears come faster. He pulled you in tightly and you could hear him cry quietly with you. It was the first time the three of you faced a death, but it certainly wouldn't be the last.