It's finally Friday, and to say I'm looking forward to a weekend of just relaxing is understating it. My mother calling me yesterday has really thrown me off, I keep replaying the conversation over and over in my head. I got a break from my thoughts at work, lucky that we were actually pretty busy today.

Now walking home, all I can do is focus of the negative thoughts that are flowing through my mind.

Remembering my childhood isn't somethings that makes me feel better either, it sends me spiralling down a very dark path. 

All the forgotten birthdays, Christmases, and Easters. My mother, who would turn a blind eye to every horrible things my father did while demanding I work when I'm not in school to help them out. And my father, the pathetic man that made sure to remind me of how worthless and unwanted I was, while beating me senseless whenever I didn't do things to his expectations. The two together were such a bad combination, it's surprising I didn't turn out worse. 

The thought of ever forgiving those two monstrous people was just inconceivable. Ten years later and I still have trouble trusting people, especially after being on the streets. If anyone does something for you, it comes with a price. It's why I learnt to earn money in the simplest ways, no one can try to force me into more and I worked for the money earned.

Walking into our place, I notice no one is actually here yet. Eddy must have work again, and I'm guessing Pat is down at the computers. Remy had to help close up tonight, so he won't be too long. 

Deciding to have a hot shower to wash away the stress that my mother brought out of me, I walk into our bathroom after grabbing a new change of clothes. Stripping down into my bra and panties, I can't help but stare at myself in the mirror over the sink.

I never used to care much for my body. I knew I wasn't anything special to look at, and in high school I didn't have boyfriends because if people got too close they'd notice  something. But now I'm getting closer to people, Remy and I have been only growing closer and closer since we met. I'm falling hard and fast for that man, and it scares me. 

Looking over my grown and healthy body, I can't help but feel shame and disgust for myself. Cigarette burns and cuts scar me from shoulders to knees. Though some have lessened over the years, most are still there. Each one holding a memory from the childhood I thought I escaped long ago. Each one reminding me that the world is a cruel place, filled with cruel people.

Tracing over each scar and burn, remembering the words spat at me each time, I can't hold back the tears that well up in my eyes. The feeling of worthlessness slowly flowing back into my being, making me hate myself for letting them still impact me. 

A warm hand touching my shoulder snaps me from thoughts, as I practically jump three feet in the air. Turning to see Remy in the bathroom with me, eyes roaming over my almost naked body.

"I tried calling out..." He whispers after a moment, eyes still looking over me.

"Sorry, I didn't realise you were back." I fumble, trying to cover my self as much as possible. 

It's not even that I care that he can see me in such little clothing, I just didn't want him to see my body before I had a chance to warn him. I had planned to tell him all of it if things got serious, which it feels like it was going there. I doubt things will keep going on between us now though.

Remy watches me for a moment, looking over my face for a moment before his hand slowly rises to my cheek. His thumb gently wipes the tears I didn't realise had fallen, while he keeps looking over my face. 

"Aria..." He whispers, walking closer to me until there is almost no distance between us.

The sadness in his voice makes me take a step back as I shake my head. Shame filling my being at the thought of this man i'm falling hard for seeing something I had hoped to warn him about. 

"I was going to tell you..." I trail off, not entirely sure what to say. 

"You have nothing to tell me." He smiles at me, easing my nerves slightly. 

Averting my eyes from his, I spot myself in the mirror again. The pale skin with faded scars all over it reminding me of the embarrassment I feel in front of Remy. 

He looks in the direction I'm fixated on before looking back over at me, closing the distance between us. His warm hand wraps around my back as the other cups my face in a gentle hold, pulling my body flush against his. 

"I don't need to know anything you're not ready to share. But you need to know, in my eyes you are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on." He whispers, his face showing nothing but truth in his words.

"How can you say that after seeing all of this!?" I vent out, gesturing to my body. 

He can't be serious. How could anyone find me physically attractive, when this is how I look. This is why I didn't want to move too quickly with him, the faster you fall for someone the harder it is when things stop.

"Because it's just skin. If you want my honest opinion on your appearance, I think you have a hot body, and the most beautiful face I've ever laid eyes on. I don't want you for your body though, the fact that I like it is just an added bonus." He says as he rubs a hand slowly up and down my side. 

Tears well up in my eyes at his words, wanting to believe they're true. That little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me "How could anyone find my body attractive?" 

"I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, Aria." He whispers before gently pressing his lips to mine. "You really have no clue what you do to me, do you?"

He chuckles after a moment, pulling back slightly from me. My head sinks at the thought that he's giving up on trying to convince me otherwise, until he takes my hand in his. Confused for only a moment, before he slowly lowers our hands down to his pants.

My brain seems to practically shut down at what he's doing until I feel his press it against the rough material of his denim jeans, the firm outline of his manhood clearly felt the moment I make contact.

"That is what just looking at you does to me, scars and all." He whispers, pulling his own hand away from mine.

The shock of it all seems to ware off as the realisation of it all finally sets in.

Oh my... I gave him a boner!

But... that means he really is attracted to me!

"Unless things are going to go further tonight, I might need you to move your hand now." He chuckles, making me smiles up at him as I remove my hand. 

"Thank you, Remy." I whisper, needing him to know how much he's helped. 

Going up onto my toes, I kiss his soft pink lips slowly. Hoping to show just how grateful to him I am. His hands glide up and down my back so softly they send chills up my spine, while I bury my fingers in his luscious hair.

When we break apart, we're both breathless with our heads leaning against each other. Desire in both our eyes, but the reality of our relationship holding us back.

No matter what, we aren't technically together yet.

"I'll let you go back to having a shower." He smiles happily at me, walking out of the bathroom.  

Smiling at where he once was, I start to feel like just maybe things can be okay again.

Maybe I actually can have the life I've always wanted.

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