John was trying to be composed to do the plan in his mind and reason why he decided to come with Andra. Ang alamin ang dahilan nito. Unang beses pa lang niyang makita ang babae ay napuno na siya ng pagtataka kung bakit iyon ang inakto ng kapatid niyang si Ran nang magkita ito sa vacation house. Why does it seem like Ran hates Andra?

Pangatlong araw niya na sa bahay, o kung ano mang maituturing dito. Pakiramdam niya ay masisiraan na siya ng ulo. Especially that the whole place is painted white. Even the appliances, furniture and kitchen utensils. Except that it's accompanied by gold patterns.

Huminga si John ng malalim. Bumibwelo, naglulumikot ang kamay. Kasalukuyan niyang kasalo si Andra sa hapagkainan. Nasa kaliwang gilid siya ng mahabang mesa habang si Andra ay nasa dulo. Abala ang babae sa pagkain, malumanay ang paggalaw nito na animong nagsanay kung paano kumilos tulad ng isang prinsesa.

John swallowed. Ngunit bago siya makausal ay nauna na si Andra.

"Bakit hindi ka kumakain?" tila nag-aalalang tanong nito.

He pursed his lips. "M-may gusto akong malaman."

Tumaas ang isang kilay ni Andra dahilan para kabahan siya.

'Maling salita ba ang nagamit ko?' Nagsimula siyang mag-alala na baka ang pag sunog ng dalawa sa tao ang tinutukoy niya.

"What do you wanna know?" usisa ni Andra. Gumalaw ito para ipatong ang baba sa magkasalikop na mga kamay. Sa tono ng boses nito ay sigurado si John na iyon nga ang nasa isip nitong itatanong niya.

"Tungkol kay Ran." Nakahinga siya ng maluwag nang magbago ang timpla ng mukha ni Andra. She leaned back and gave a small smile.

"Your sister?" natatawang aniya nito. Kalaunan ay nagsimula itong magkwento.

"She was lost and she found us."

John stayed in his room today. Alam niyang hindi siya magpa-function ng maayos gayong na-trigger na naman ang trauma niya.

It's really hard to focus on healing when the person who traumatized him keeps on pestering him.

Pumasok sa isip niya ang kapatid ni Andra na si Faron. Thinking he can ask her brother how he coped up with what happened with Andra and his family.

Samantalang sa hallway ng ikalawang palapag ng bahay ng mga Ceno ay naglalakad si Ran patungo sa kwarto niya. Napaurong si Ran sa paglalakad nang mapansing bukas ang pinto ng kwarto ni John at sumilip sa siwang.

Kumatok siya at naglakad papasok. "Kuya."

"Hindi ka pumasok?" she asked, observing her older brother. Nakasandal ang likod ni John sa headboard at nakatuwid ang mga binti sa higaan. Parang kinikilatis pa nito kung sino ang pumasok sa kwarto niya sa paraan ng pagtingin kay Ran.

"Obvious ba?" he rebutted out of nowhere.

Napahinto sila at nagkatinginan.

'I sounded like Leo.'

'He sounded like Leo.'

"Anyway..." May kinuha si Ran sa shoulder bag niya at inabot kay John.

"Happy Valentine's, Kuya!"

Tinanggap ni John ang Cadbury "Valentine's Day pala ngayon?"

"Obvious ba?" panggagaya ni Ran ng may blankong ekspresyon.

"Nyenye." Halos umirap si John at saka natawa.

"Why didn't you go to work today? May sakit ka ba? Just curious." Umupo si Ran sa gilid ng kama.

Ilang saglit tumahimik si John. "Tinatamad ako." Nag flash sa isip niya ang gabing ipinakita ni Victoria ang pag-uusap nito at ni Andra.

"Kilala mo ba kung sino biological father mo?" dagdag ni John. Kung makipag-usap ito ay parang ka-tropa niya lang si Ran.

She was stunned for a moment. Not because she has issues with her real father but because of who asked it.

"Of course, I know him. I was seven years old when he passed away from lung cancer."

Tumahimik ulit si John.

"May... Kapatid ka ba? Ano..." He became uneasy and pissed as he can't put the right words together.

"Magkakilala ba sa simbahan sila Victoria at yung Puta?" bulalas niya.

"So I'm right. This is about her again," mapait na usal ni Ran.

John clenched his teeth. Hindi niya nagustuhan ang reaksyon ni Ran na parang nagyayabang at hindi siya maintindihan.

Napunta siya sa sitwasyon na 'yon para iligtas ang kapatid niya pero heto ang matatanggap niyang reaksyon. Kahit simpatya ay wala.

Ran groaned. "Get your shit together, Kuya. Can't you just move on? Focus on your job para hindi ka isip ng isip kay Andra. Kaya nagagalit si mama eh."

"Putangina. Wala akong pake kung magalit siya. Wala siyang pake kung hindi ako magtrabaho. Nakikitira lang kayo rito!"

Kinalma ni John ang sarili at isinantabi ang sinigaw ng boses sa isip niya. That would be so pathetic if he let himself be overcome by his emotions.

"You sounded like her just now." It became awkward for him to call Victoria 'mama' ever since she poorly treated him when he came back after the incident.

"Sorry." Natutop ni Ran ang bibig. She realized instantly that she's being insensitive.

He examined her face which was painted with regret and embarrassment.

"She was lost and she found us."

"She was seeking help but nobody's trying to understand her."

John can't help but think Ran was neglected. As the older brother, he felt responsible too.

Axel and Victoria became together when John was 16 years old and Ran was a year younger than him.

John sees her as an ambitious teenager, passionate, dedicated, joyful, and smart. She had lots of dreams.

Just like him, when she reached 18, she got more prone to stress, anxiety and depression.

Ran consulted Victoria as her mother but it wasn't helpful. Instead, she felt more down. As if she's not allowed to feel those negative emotions.

When she told others her concerns or problems, people find her as someone who just wants attention, weak, loser, sensitive and dramatic. They also see it as complaining and being crazy.

Noong nag college si Ran kung kailan tumira siya sa dorm na malapit sa University nila. She regularly had a phone call with Victoria. But they don't know what's she's been doing or how does she feel. She always appears happy, composed and unbothered. They never heard her share her problems again nor see if she's having difficulties.

But one thing is visible, her default blank face. She shows what they want to see. She says what they want to hear. Hindi sigurado si John kung pagkatapos ba 'yon ng pagsama ni Ran kay Andra. Pero sigurado siya na ginagawa lang 'yon ni Ran para protektahan ang sarili niya. Because sometimes, speaking yourself does not always help.

Contrary to what happened to him, before he met Andra, he was always bright, he possessed lots of energy even when he was a working student. Pero pagkaalis niya roon, naging moody siya, at pa isa-isa na nga lang ang trabaho niya ngayon ay hindi niya pa magawa ng maayos.

***

John was now having a bite of the chocolate bar Ran gave.

"Kasal na pala si Mary Belle?" Nagtataka siya dahil hindi nag-abala si Ran na ipaalam ito sa kaniya.

"Sorry. Akala ko alam mo. Ikaw may gusto eh," dahilan nito.

Tinitigan ni John ang tsokolate kahit wala namang kakaiba ro'n.

"May pagka-private din kasi si Belle. Hindi nga rin na-inform sina Ate Myra. Tsaka sa City hall sila kinasal, pamilya lang din niya 'ando'n. Matagal na rin silang M.U. nu'ng guy."

Humaba ang nguso ni John sa huling sinabi ng kapatid.

"Broken-hearted ka?"

Nagsalubong ang kilay ni John. "Tsk. Nasaktan ako nu'ng nakita kong may anak na siya. Ewan ko..."

He likes Mary Belle but pursuing her, he doesn't think he's deserving. The only thing he regrets was not being able to show her that he likes her and how much he appreciates her. Nonetheless, he's happy that she found the person for her. May tiwala siya kay Mary Belle na tama ang pinili nito.

***

Nang maiwan sa kuwarto, naisipan ni John na buksan ang messenger app. Sunod-sunod na tumunog ang notification.

MGA BITTER

Bean(atog)
Happy Valentine's Day! 💞
I love you all

Theo(pamasko po)
Mahal ko kayo!

Rove(lox) forwarded a message
Love u

Eddie(wow)
Happy Hearts Day!

Bean(atog)
Hoy Rove ba't naman forwarded?

Rove(lox)
Haha

Bean(atog)
Isa kang taksil!!! Cheater!

Theo(pamasko po)
Tinatamad haha

Bean(atog)
Asan ka? @John(lapus)

Nag scroll pa si John para ma-back read ang iba pang napag-usapan nila sa mga nakaraang araw.

Happy Valentine's! Musta?

Pagka-send ay bumalik siya sa inbox para tignan ang ibang unread messages.

Puro sa classmates niyang babae iyon, ang iba naman ay halatang lahat ng kakilala ay binabati. Tinignan din niya ang message requests.

Hindi niya binuksan. Galing iyon sa mga fans nila. He appreciates all of them but he doesn't know what to reply. Tsaka pa'no na lang kung taken na pala ang iba, mas mabuti nang mag ingat.

Nagkayayaan silang limang kumain sa labas at susunduin na lang siya ng mga ito sa bahay.

Habang naghihintay sa mga kaibigan ay pumunta siya sa browser at nagbukas ng incognito tab.

Ipinikit niya ang mga mata kasabay ng paglapag ng phone. Tumagilid siya ng higa sa kama.

'It's only been 2 years, I can still file a case but...

A male who got raped by a female is just absurdity in society.'

}