...
He had fancied her for years. Not since the very day he met her, he had fallen in love with her slowly. It took him years to realize how deeply in love he was with her. At first she was only a friend, almost a sister, but later he discovered his feelings for her weren't exactly the ones a brother would have for his sister.
But just as slowly he fell in love with her, he gave up on her.
Maybe he would have asked her out or something if he didn't feel he so unworthy. He believed he was some kind of monster or alien. But can you blame him?
Can you imagine being only four and suddenly discovering you suffer some weird disease that has no cure? Can you imagine spending awful nights at the hospital because you were about to die? Can you imagine being treated like an outcast since you were a child?
A person like you would see him as a brave and strong for going through all this but he saw himself as weak and worthless. The society he lived in made him believe that. Everyone who knew his condition didn't treat him as a normal guy, except for his parents.
He was really lucky he got to enter a school but his illness was kept secret. His parents made sure nobody knew, not even the principal. If someone got to know about it, he would be expelled.
There he got to meet his best friends and also the girl he fell in love with. With them, he felt for the first time like a normal boy. They were a ray of hope in his life, unluckily that ray extinguished.
As you may have concluded, his parents were a big support to him. Probably the only support he had since his friends didn't know about his problem. But people don't live forever and one day, without you noticing, they will be closing be closing their eyes forever, taking their last breath.
It was not both of them, just his mother. The one who had sacrificed her work and life for the boy was now lying cold in front of her son.
"I'm sorry about this, Remus" said a pink haired girl standing next to him.
The boy hurried to wipe the tear that was rolling down his cheek before the girl noticed that he had been crying.
"It's okay to cry, don't be ashamed. Everybody does it at some point." the girl continued trying to comfort him. "Even my dad does sometimes..."
Suddenly Remus felt a soft touch next to his hand and, just a few seconds after that, he felt someone holding his hand. It was obviously the girl because there was nobody else around but Remus was too scared to check or to look at her.
He felt himself blushing. It was the girl he had been in love with for years holding his hand!
"I know I talk to much," she continued naturally. "But I just want you to know I'll be here for you. I love you to much to handle seeing you like this. I..."
The world stopped for a second. Did she use the word love?
Remus forgot for a moment why he was there, it was only the girl and him. She didn't finish her sentence, probably because she had realized what she had just said too.
Remus could picture her apologizing, saying it had been a mistake and that she liked another guy but she didn't. All she did was stand there motionless holding Remus' hand.
"Remus, I-" she mumbled when the boy turned to her. "I think I love you"
His heart started beating so fast Remus thought it would explode. He felt something in his stomach, something nice. He bit his lip to hide his smile, he couldn't remember why he had been so sad.
"Tonks, I-" he wanted to tell her he loved her but he couldn't. A random thought brought him back to Earth: they could never be together.
Being with her meant having to tell her about the disease he suffered. What would she think? She'd never want to see him again! And if she did accept him like that, what would her family think? They'd kick him out of their house!
But before Remus could put an order to his mind and thoughts, Tonks pulled Remus into a kiss.
Remus needed to stop it, he couldn't kiss her! It would make him love her even more!
But he couldn't put a stop to it, he loved her too much. And, pulling her closer to his body, he kissed her back.
The next day he woke up with puffy eyes and bags under them, a kiss doesn't exactly make you forget about your mother's death.
His father told him he could stay home if he wanted, and he did, he skipped school.
All he did was lay on his bed wondering about the universe with tears filling his eyes. He was on his own now. His dad was with him but his mum was the one who had taken care of him the most. Now she was gone and she had left an empty space in Remus' life that nobody would ever fill.
If you thought Remus hated his life enough, imagine him now. All the pain he had kept inside of him had doubled. He could have killed himself in that instant but he heard someone knocking on his door. Death could wait.
"Come in," he groaned with the few energy left in him.
A pink haired girl entered the dark room carrying a small box perfectly decorated with a red ribbon.
"I thought you could use some chocolate..." Tonks said handing him the box.
Remus didn't answer, he grabbed the box and put it on top of his drawer.
"Thank you," he mumbled quietly.
"James, Sirius, Peter and Lily want to see you..." she continued. "They are really worried about you and-"
"Tonks, we can't be together," he spat coldly.
"What?" she asked in shock.
"I said that we can't be together," he repeated looking deeply into her eyes. For a second he regretted what he had just said. Staring at those beautiful brown eyes he felt home but he was doing it for her own right. Being with him would ruin her life.
"I don't understand. Why are you saying this? Remus, I know you're hurt but-" she tried to speak but Remus cut her off.
"Don't you see?" he nearly shouted standing up. "I'm a mess! My life's a mess! You deserve more!"
"All I can't see is that you're hurt," she replied calmly, standing up. "If you don't love me it's okay but don't push me off if it's because you're feeling bad right now. One day this pain will vanish and you-"
"You don't understand! It's not only about pain!" he interrupted.
"Then what's this about? If you don't love me it's okay..." she added fearing he would say he didn't love her.
"No! I do love you! It's just that... that..." those words were hard to say. Saying them meant the possibility of loosing her. And loosing her meant loosing all he had left. "I'm sick!"
"What? Remus, what? Why didn't you tell me?" she said, her mouth half opened.
The boy couldn't handle it anymore. He collapsed on his bed sobbing loudly.
Tonks approached to him and softly put an arm around his shoulder.
"Remus, I'm here for you. I don't care if you're sick or... whatever, I still love you. Please, explain to me what's happening," she spoke.
Remus really wanted to tell her about his problem and about every secret he had been keeping since a child. Because he trusted her, he knew she would tell nobody. And he did.
A few minutes later he was crying silently on her shoulder, finishing the story of how he was told about his illness.
"Remus, I don't know what to say... Now I understand everything. I still love you and something stupid like a disease won't stop me from loving you." she said hugging him tightly.
"But was about your family? What will they think?" Remus asked timidly.
"We don't need to worry about them for now," she continued. "I want you to be happy, that's all."
Days went by, the rest of his friends came to see him. They said nice words trying to make him feel better but only Tonks could understand what he was really going through. She visited him everyday, until it was time for him to go back to school.
Lots of things had happened during the time he wasn't at school. But nothing compares to what happened when he came back.
He was walking, shoelaces untied as always, when he bumped into the principal. All the stuff both of them were carrying ended up on the floor, luckily there was nobody to see it.
The principal was a nice guy so he didn't say anything to Remus since the accident had been somehow his fault too. Both saying nothing, they started picking the papers that were all over the floor. The principal took every single paper that looked "official" and "formal" while Remus took every paper with messy handwriting.
They both apologized for the accident and the principal told Remus he was sorry for his loss. Then they both left.
But Remus had forgotten he had been carrying some "official" papers with him. And they were no more and no less than the papers the doctor had given Remus' parents explaining all about his illness and the treatment he had to follow.
Everything would have been fine if only the principal had read them but sadly the papers ended up his son's hands. And he made sure everyone in the school knew about Remus' condition.
It wasn't surprising at all to find a bunch of angry parents outside the school wanting to speak with the principal. Most of them wanted to force him to expel Remus, others wanted him to kick him out of the town.
"I thought you were not going to tell anyone!" Remus shouted.
"I didn't!" Tonks answered.
"Then who told everyone! You were the only person I trusted!" he said leaning on the wall.
"But I didn't! It must have been someone else! What would I get by telling everyone? I'd never hurt you!"
I was a good argument. Why would she tell everyone? But the one who told everyone didn't matter anymore, the thing now was fixing the problem.
If you thought that was bad just imagine Remus' life in a school that knew about his problem. People started hating on him. Most of them only insulted him since everyone knew if they messed with Remus, they'd mess with guys like James Potter and Sirius Black.
But stuff got worse and Sirius, James, Tonks and Lily were the only ones still loyal to Remus. Sirius and James often got involved in catfights and, Lily and Tonks lost all her friends. Still, they told Remus they were okay. Remus obviously didn't believe them and started pushing them away, keeping his distance from them.
People kept hating on him and started hating on his friends. Remus started thinking maybe his friends and everyone would be better without him. He had ruined his parents' lives and now he was ruining his friends' lives. They'd definitely be better without him!
Remus made the decision of running away. Maybe he'd find a nice place to live in his journey or better, he'd die in his way.
You may think he was overacting but, can you really imagine what his life was? Because of him all his friends had lost everything! Because of his father had to work more to pay his treatment! Because of him his mother died...
He didn't want to feel anymore, he wanted to forget everything that had happened.
Remus walked slowly, not knowing where he was going. It was almost night but there still were children playing in the streets. They all ran scared when Remus walked past them.
He was about to reach the highway when the sky started turning dark blue. He could barely see where he was going but he knew anywhere would better than the place he was leaving.
"Remus, don't" said suddenly a female voice behind him.
He turned to see Tonks. The pink haired girl had puffy eyes and tears were rolling down her cheeks.
"Remus, don't you dare to leave"
The look on her face was devastating, he couldn't leave her. But he had to do it.
"Tonks, I must do it. Don't you see what I've turned your life into?" he said staring at the floor. "I ruin everything! All I am is a waste of space!"
"You are not! There are people who care about you! Think of them! What will they do when you live? Think of you father! Think of... me" she continued. "Please, Remus, we can fix this"
"We can?" he said thinking of what he was leaving behind.
The girl ran towards him and embraced him before he could stop her. He pulled her closer and softly kissed her forehead.
"Remus, I love you. Please never think of leaving again. If not I swear I'll-"
But before she could finish talking, Remus pressed his lips against hers. She talks too much, Remus thought.
_______________________
This is my entry for @fangirl_potato_'s fanfic contest :)
I hope this counts as High School AU
It's 2243 words long
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