Two Years Ago...

It turns out my family took the news better than I expected. When I told Mom about Noah and I dating, she didn't seem that shocked. However, I'm pretty sure Dylan freaked the crap out of Noah when he gave him the big brother talk. That being said, I highly doubt that the two of them will ever be close.

At school today, Darian continued to give me odd looks. Ever since that night, he never once tried to contact me, or even talk to me. I didn't want to believe it at first, but now it's undoubtable that he only wanted me for my body. He never cared about me or my feelings. He only cared about how I kissed and how vulnerable I seemed to him. I can only imagine what he would do if he discovered that I was carrying his baby.

As I gather my textbooks for English class, I hear a friendly voice arise from behind me, following by two arms wrapping around my body. "Guess who," she says.

I giggle, turning to face my best friend. "You make it way to obvious."

Her smile soon decreases in length as she directly eyes me. "Have you gained weight?" Before I even get the chance to say something, she shakes it off and changes the topic. "Whatever. Moving on from my surprize attacks, you have some explaining to do?"

"What explaining is there to do?"

"Um, the fact that you're keeping secrets," she replies. I freeze. She knows. She must know about everything.

Trying to contain my fear, I mask it with a grin and a little smirk. "I don't know what you're talking about," I lie.

"Bullshit," she says. "I've known you for years Ro, and you think I don't know your giveaways?" She places her hands on her hips. "You paused before answering, you swallowed, and you put your hands into your pockets. Face it, I've caught you red-handed." She's always been good in the area of psychology, unfortunately for me.  Who knows? Maybe she doesn't know about what Darian and I did a few months ago. Just maybe. As I'm trying to steer my thoughts into the lighter side of the situation, she says, "Now when were you gonna tell me about you and Noah?"

Thank God.

Knowing that I can't give anymore clues as to the real secret I've been keeping, I go along with the Noah train. "Well I was going to tell you, but-"

No excuses. You were supposed to tell me the minute you two made it official!"

"I know, but I guess I just wanted to keep things under the radar," I say. At least it's the actual truth. "Wait, how did you even find out?"

"Caleb released the news to his basketball buddies, and of course that travelled to the football players and then the cheerleaders and then all over social media."

I dig my head into my palms as I grown in frustration. "I'm gonna kill him," I mutter into my hands. Caleb and Dylan are both officially dead. They better not sleep tonight - not tonight, or ever.

"You should be thanking them," she says. "Thanks to them, you and Noah are practically goals."

"Goals or not, Noah's gonna be so pissed about this. We both agreed that we wanted to keep things quiet for now."

She sighs. "None of that nonsense matters now, Ro. This is supposed to be a good thing! Now we can go on double dates or something!" In another realm, that would be an amazing idea. She and I have been talking about going on double dates with our boyfriends for a while, but the problem was that I didn't have a boyfriend at the time. Now that I do, she's bringing up the plans all over again. In another world, it would be a great idea. In reality, I'd rather go to Hell than face him. "Speaking of which, I have to go and greet my man. See you after class?"

I nod. "Yeah, see you later, Liv."

On that note, she struts off and runs into the arms of Darian. As he embraces her, he opens his eyes and meets with mine. Even from across the hall, I can still feel his glare punching holes into mine.

~~~~~

Who would've thought that Sam's girlfriend's driveway would be the most romantic place in the world?

Before last night, I never thought of Silas as anything more than a friend. Actually, more of an ally or something complicated like that. We met under the most strangest of circumstances and if the two of us had our own Facebook, the relationship status would be read, It's complicated. Time goes by, and I still have no idea what we are. Even after that kiss - that beautiful and perfect kiss - I can't determine my own feelings.

The two of us drove home in separate cars, completely stunned by what had just happened. I found myself wanting him to text at two o'clock in the morning, just for him to say something or give me some type of closure. I have no idea how he feels about me, despite the fact that he made himself a classic Shakespeare just to see me smile.

"But what I do understand is you, and if I have to fall from Grace a million times just to climb back up to you than so be it."

He listened. I mean, he actually listened.

He understood my feelings, my past... everything. His lines of pristine poetry sent me flying, even though I was on the ground. When I told him my story about the stars, we actually payed attention, and I couldn't wish for anything more.

As I'm daydreaming about the past night, the sound of the doorbell rings throughout the entire house. I assume that Dylan will get it so I don't move a muscle or put any effort into getting up. But when I hear voices from outside, two very distinct voices, I arise from my bed and head towards my open window.

Looking out into the morning, I can't see my brother or our visitor. The two of them must already be inside. I draw away from the window and walk out of the premises of my bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind me. I start to regret my decision to go downstairs and face him, but he's here to see me. There's no way I can get out of this one without making an appearance.

I walk slowly down the steps and hear the voices from a clearer angle. When I'm finally in the line of sight, both their faces to turn to my direction.

Noah smiles widely. "Hey, Nyc."

I exhale a breath through my nose and look up at him, trying not to let my face reveal the true torture I really feel. "Noah," I greet.

Dylan purses his lips and fiddled with whatever item is in his pocket. "Okay, well this can't get anymore awkward so I'm just gonna go to work," he says, already heading out the door. I glare at him as my oldest brother makes his way out, and once he's gone, I'm left alone with Noah.

Noah brings his eyes away from the front door and looks at me with kindness. All of those memories we shared come flooding back in his eyes, and it's hard to be angry with him. "How've you been?" He asks.

"Fine, thanks." He nods, pretending to be satisfied with my answer. I know him too well, and no matter how hard he tries, he can't fool me. I see right through that exterior shell.

"So I texted you yesterday."

"I know. I saw."

"But you never texted back," he continues.

"I was busy," I claim. Technically, it isn't a lie. I chose to ignore his text and then came up with something to keep me busy.

He nods his head gently and leaves my gaze. Silence rings around the room like a carousel of circus horses. I want nothing more than to tell him to leave and never come back. I try and try but the words just won't come forward. And when he finally speaks, it's already too late. "Rowen, when are we gonna talk about this?"

I raise my eyebrows. "Talk about what?"

"This. Us. You avoiding me."

Walking down the last two steps, I brush past him and enter the kitchen. "There is no us anymore, Noah." I walk to the fridge and pull out a carton of orange juice, trying to distract my mind from the matter at hand.

"Yeah, I get that," he says. "But this continuous circle we're running in has got to end." Right now, Noah's only a ghost from my past, coming back to haunt me every time I get a taste of happiness. I'm trying to move on, but how can I when my past is clinging on too tight? When I'm clinging on too tight?

After pouring a glass of orange juice, my gaze focuses on the granite countertop, refusing to meet his eyes. "You know, for the record, I'm just trying to move on from all of this."

"You mean me."

I look up, hesitant on my answer, but not too hesitant. "You, and... everything else."

Noah sighs and reveals a smile that disguises that irritation. "Well that's too bad because I'm not leaving until we make amends." He puts leans down with his arms perched on the counter. I know what he's trying to do, and he's not going to get anywhere by doing it.

"You really want to play this game? Refuse to leave my house until I call the police?"

"I'm allowed one phone call in the slammer. Whichever way this goes, you're still gonna be stuck with me until we talk things out."

I stifle a laugh. "I'll be sure to turn off my phone."

That amusing grin soon disappears before my very eyes as he adjusts his position. "Okay, how about this: I'll make you deal."

Deal. The word makes me cringe. "You know, the last time you said that, you said I would never have to see you again. Did you need me to sign on the dotted line or something?" I'm done making deals with people. Every single one just has a disastrous outbreak that affects everyone around me.

He lowers his head. "I'll admit it. Last time, I said what I had to say to get you to talk to me. I knew there was no other alternative," he explains.

"So this is just a repeat in history? You're just gonna say what I want to hear and then do whatever the hell you want?" I ask, now getting angry.

What he said about the two of us running in circles around one another, I can't agree more. This dance we've been doing has got to end. He talks to me, I talk to him, I avoid him for days on end, and still no one pulls the trigger. It's like we're wandering around in a lost epilogue with far too many twists, turns, and endings. This is just one of the many endings that leads us back to the beginning.

When he still doesn't say anything, I take the moment to analyze the situation. Just one more deal, Rowen. One more deal and you're done. I remember having those same thoughts when Silas took me on a crime venture. But I was far from done.

I exhale in vanquishment. I must be out of my mind. "Fine. What are you proposing this time?"

A glimmer of hope emits in his eyes. "That's easy. A nice stroll through the park," he says. He reaches over and grabs my brown, leather jacket that's been sitting on one of the kitchen chairs. I look at him confused, but I soon give up on fighting with him and take the jacket from his grasp.

~~~~~

When he said a stroll through the park, he literally meant a stroll through the park. We left my house almost ten minutes ago for a walk. I have no idea where we're going, so I let Noah guide us.

We walk down the road that leads to a public bike trail. No one ever uses it much anymore. It's overgrown with weeds and the path of cement is now cluttered with dirt and foliage. The two of us used to walk down that very trail all the time. It's pretty clear why he lead us here.

After many minutes of listening to nothing but the sighing of the summer breeze, Noah says, "You know, you could at least act like you're enjoying yourself."

I eye him briefly before turning my head back to the road before us. "And give you the satisfaction? Not my idea of a good time."

He grins. "Would it really be World War 3 if I made you smile?"

"It will be if you don't cut to the chase. You have a habit of wandering away from any current conflict," I say. A gentle breeze sets in, stroking my exposed skin and running its fingers along my braided hair.

It brushes through Noah's hair as well, taking control of his brown strands and waving them every which way. I catch him nibbling on his lower lip, clenching his jaw in the process. "You've changed, you know that?"

I bring my brows together, creating the familiar pattern of lines on my forehead. "Changed how?"

"You're more solemn than I remember," he says. "Not that I blame you. You've been through alot." I wish I could disagree with him. It seems that me closing myself off from the world is more obvious than I thought. "And I know that I'm apart of why you're so distant nowadays, and I would give anything to take it all back. Hell, I'll track down Marty Mcfly and give him my students loans to buy that damn delorean if it means I get to go back and change what I did," Noah declares.

"You know, I was under the impression that you wanted to talk about us or whatever future you think we have if you're actually staying in town. I didn't know you wanted to give me a personalized tour of the past," I say.

The road in front of us soon dips and a lighter terrain is exposed, leading us to a large clearing. Train tracks appear in the distance, and at the beginning of them stands an old rail freight transport that hasn't been used in years. The train was used to transport cargo has opposed to passengers. Now it's only an unpopular tourist destination where people like to take photos in front of and kids play around on the tracks. I remember coming here with Noah everytime we took a walk down this bike trail. We would always sit on the tracks and wonder where they lead. Now it's a few years later, and I could care less where they lead.

As we walk down the hill, my phone goes off from inside my purse. I take it out and automatically assume that it's either Caleb or Dylan asking me to pick something up for dinner tonight. But the name that pops up on my screen triggers a smile that I'm forced to hide.

SILAS : Shutting my phone off for a while. At the hospital with my dad. I'll call you back later tonight.

He had mentioned last night that his dad had fell down some stairs and broke his leg, but he wasn't able to take him to the hospital until today, due to some car troubles. Even if it is just an informative message, I can't help but smirk the slightest bit.

When I put my phone back into my purse, my gaze travels up the rusty exterior of the train. A yellow railing stands at the entrance of the train. I clutch it firmly and swing myself around it. From behind me, Noah asks, "You wanna know why I came back?

I turn around, keeping my hand on the railing. "Let me guess... for me?"

"I came back for me, Rowen. When I left, I didn't only leave you behind, but I left everything and everyone. So when I finally moved out of my mom's place, I thought I would use my new-found freedom to come back and try to salvage what I can," he elucidates. He explained some of this to me the day Silas and I broke into the school. It's the day I can't stop thinking about.

Noah told me everything. Why he left town, why he never made contact, and why he broke things off with this town completely. But even after hearing his explanation, I couldn't help but still feel angry with him. He could've at least given me some sort of sign stating that he was alright, but he never did. I was worried out of my mind for a year. With that piled onto my mother's all too sudden departure to Heaven, I was a mess, and for a long while, I thought that he didn't care. The one person I relied on didn't even care.

So I look deeply into his eyes, those irises so full of regret and yearning. They yearn for forgiveness, trust even. But those are things I may not be able to give him. "I don't think what we had is salvageable, so I wouldn't get my hopes up."

"Well I think you're wrong," he says confidently. He walks closer to me. "I think that you still feel some sort of pull between us. That connection that we had hasn't faded away just yet, Nyc."

I turn my eyes away and look down at my hiking boots. "And you know this how?"

"Is it really that much of a mystery? I mean, why else would you be inclined to follow some random guy to the middle of nowhere?"

My mind runs white, and I look back up at him confused. "What's that supposed to mean?" I ask.

He focuses on me and nothing else. His don't even amble away from mine. "It was me that morning. I saw you watching me when you cracked that twig." I put the pieces together and a picture appears. That morning when I followed someone and I had no idea who it was, it turns out that I did know them. I knew there was something familiar about them, which is why I thought it was Silas. That head of blonde turned out to be a head of brown. Realization moves in on my face. "And by the way," Noah begins, "Remind me never to rob a bank with you. You're louder than you think."

"Wait," I say. "That was you?"

"Yeah, the one and only," he answers.

Taking in a deep breath, I ask loudly, "Why didn't you say anything?" Now it all makes sense. When Silas said that he wasn't the one who I followed that morning, I thought it was just another one of his tricks. Little did I know that he was telling the truth, and it was actually Noah that I followed. I'm just not sure whether to feel better about it or worse.

"I assumed that you would figure it out eventually," he answers. "But Rowen... what I'm trying to say is that I never stopped thinking about you. You were on my mind every single day. And now I'm back and I find out you're having issues with this guy that's blackmailing you?" I shake my head and try to deny it but he doesn't let me. "You're irritable, you're lying to yourself constantly, and you head is somewhere else half the time. I mean, I can't even keep eye contact with you for more than five seconds without you looking away."

He rests his hand atop of mine on the railing, but I don't bother moving it. It'll only raise more tension between us. But it still doesn't feel right. I don't even know what Silas and I are at the moment, and if this moment is anything like the moment I endured last night, then I guess I didn't learn my lesson two years ago. "Noah, I need to tell you something," I start. Now. I need to tell him now about Silas, before things escalate out of my control.

But Noah doesn't listen. "Not before I ask you one last question," he says. I bring my hand up to my ear and tuck away a loose strand of hair, nodding in the process. "I don't want this to be the very last conversation we have. But at the same time, I don't want to go on believing in something that's never going to happen. So Nyc," he clutches my hand tighter, but in a lovable and gentle manner, "Is there any part of you that can forgive me?"

That question ruptures in my thoughts, and it's impossible to predict the answer. I stand there, completely frozen in place. My breath stutters in my lungs, apprehension draining my body. All I can hear is the brisk beating of my own heart as it tries to tell me where it truly lies. A part of me wishes to say yes; to let things return to the way they were before this whole mess erupted. To go back to Noah, my first love, my first kiss, my first everything. But another part belongs to Silas, the boy who never gave up on me, even when I asked him to. The boy who made me dance and happened to steal a kiss. In a way, I love both, but in the end, I can only have one.

I'm still not sure about my answer, but I can't just let this silence drag on. I need to say something, even if it's just one simple word...

Noah's eyes soon open in alarm. Quickly looking behind me, a towering man stands there, dressed in old, ripped pants and a black hoodie. My breath is clogged in my throat as he holds up a small yet horrifying pocket knife. He aims it right at us.

"Purse, jewelry, now!" He orders in a deep and threatening tone. I quickly do as he says and give him my purse with a shaky grip. He snatches it in the blink of an eye. My chest heaves up and down as I stare at nothing but his knife, the little thing glaring at me with its silver gaze. I begin to hyperventilate as he stalks closer towards us. Noah shields me with his arm, forcefully backing me away so his body is exposed to the dangerous man. "I said jewelery as well!" He screams. The man twirls the knife in his hand deftly.

My hand creeps its way up to my neck and hovers over the necklace embellishing my collar bone. It's the necklace that my mom gave me for my fifteenth birthday - the last present she ever gave me.

"No, you're not taking that," Noah says sternly.

I clutch his arm in fear. "No, no, Noah, it's fine. I'll give it to him," I say in trembling words.

"You better listen to your girlfriend," he says sinisterly. His knife glimmers wickedly in the light of the sun.

Both sets of eyes are intentionally cold, staring into the other. No life stands between the two of them. The stranger holds his knife up higher. I don't think I can be any more afraid until Noah's arm escapes from my grasp as he hurdles toward the mugger. I call out his name as he tackles the man to the ground. Both land on the dirt with brutal force, clouds of it creating a creating a temporary wall around them.

The man loses his grip on the knife and drops it. Noah is the first to punch as his fist strikes his jaw, but he's not strong enough. The stranger throws Noah off of him like it's a common task; he has no need to put perseverance into this fight. One is bigger - stronger - than the other, and the strongest always comes on top.

An image flashes in my thoughts, and all of the sudden, it's as if I've lived this moment before. When my dad and Dylan got into a brawl as heated as this one, there was no winner. Both sides lost out of devastating odds. I can't help but think that that is exactly what will happen today.

I back away from the pugnacious crusade, losing my footing and landing with my back up against the wall of the train. Tears burst from my eyes like water from a damn as I cup my mouth with my shaky hands. Mere fists go up against blades, and if Noah is given a single cut, all is over.

All of the sudden, something purely unexpected comes to pass. The man grunts in a composition of pain and anger and storms off, leaving his knife, my purse, and Noah behind. I arise and panic and run toward him as he picks up my purse.

"Noah?! Oh my God, are you okay?!" I ask fretfully. My hands have no idea where to place themselves so they travel all along his upper half, looking for any sign of injuries.

Noah lets out a deep breath and smirks, "Nyc, I'm fine, I'm fine," he says. He holds up my purse. "Here you go. I figured you might need your wallet and phone. They're ah... kinda necessities." I hate him for acting so sarcastic and calm after the event that has just taken place.

I caress his face with my of my hands and take him into my arms. "You scared me to death," I whisper into his shoulder. He hugs me tightly, letting me know that he's truly fine.

Untangling our embraces, he looks at me with is signature kind eyes. My lips curl into a relieved grin as I look away and turn my gaze to the ground beneath us. However, my sight is captured by the glimpse of red. My eyes widen in horror as I look over to his left hand. A large, bloody scratch takes over the skin of his hand. "Oh my God, Noah, you're bleeding!" I hollar.

He looks over at his hand as the blood trickles from the deep scratch. "Rowen, it's fine. It's just a scratch."

"No it's not! You're bleeding!" I take his hand and he winces in pain, trying to put pressure on the wound.

"Nyc, I'm telling you, it's fine. I'm fine," Noah says, but before he can get another word out, his forearm begins to shake and his knees become unsteady.

"Noah?!" I shout. In an instant, he falls to the ground. I catch his head before it can hit the floor. His eyes struggle to stay open. He begins to breathe more heavily and panic runs over me like a hurricane, blowing away all thoughts and leaving me with a bitter and shaken state of mind.

I crawl over to my purse, which I had dropped on the ground when I noticed the gash on Noah's hand. I tare through it, searching for my phone as Noah mumbles my name and other words that I can't make out. This wasn't supposed to happen. Not now, not ever. How could I let this happen?

A / N :

Why is wrong with Noah?
Who will Rowen choose?
What will Darian do to Rowen?

Hello, my loves! It's been awhile since I've last updated, and I apologize for that. I've been really busy lately with finals and my personal life getting it the way, but I'm back now! I've also been editing some of my previous chapters lately so if you wanna go back and see the changes I've made, feel free to do so. None of the changes impact the overall plot. They were made to give more depth and characterization to the chapters and characters.

So we finally know a little bit about the history of Rowen and Olivia, and I little inside edition as to why Noah had to leave town. This chapter gives a little glimpse of why. Can you guess?

Be sure to vote if you liked the chapter, as well as constructive criticism! I enjoy getting feedback from my readers!