Two Years Ago...

"Is that it?"

"Yup. That's my baby," I reply. He looks two his side and grins widely, chuckling on the inside. As soon as I realize what he's thinking, I roll my eyes and say, "You know what I mean."

We both look back at the computer screen as I move my mouse delicately around the mousepad, the arrow just hovering above the buy icon. I gaze at the screen with eyes of lust, wanting what I see to be something I can touch.
   
Noah's hand rests on the back of my desk chair as he kneels on the carpeted floor. He has been coming over almost every day now, and I couldn't be happier. Now that our secret is out in the open and my mom knows about us, we can finally be more attentive toward one another without getting questionable looks. That is, as long as I keep my bedroom door open.
   
He looks more closely at the screen, examining everything there is to see. "This is pretty expensive, Nyc. How did you get the money for it?" he asks.
   
"Well, I'm actually still saving," I confess. The object that I'm trying to save every last penny for is a glorious telescope available on eBay. I've been looking into buying one for ages, but I've never been able to obtain the cash No one in my family knows about it. Not even my parents are aware. "But seriously, though. Isn't she beautiful?"
   
Noah chuckles. "You do know you're hitting on a telescope, right?"
   
I playfully hit him in the shoulder. "You have your hobbies, and I have mine," I say. I then exit the eBay site and turn off my computer. All of the sudden, I feel a finger or two gently stroke my cheek at they push away a section of blonde hair, tucking the strands behind my ear. I smile and pretend that I'm not paying attention as I attempt to get back to doing my homework. Though no matter how hard I try, I just can't ignore Noah's constant attempts to gain my attention. "Hands off the merchandise," I say to him, trying to angle my head away from his soft hands.
  
"So now homework has more of a hold on you then I do?" he jokes.
   
"It is since I'm studying for an important test. Something you should also be doing."
   
"You are officially no fun." Noah stands up and walks to the other corner of my bedroom to retrieve his backpack. Secretly, I wish I could put down the textbook and paper and focus my attention on more loving activities. He is right, after all. I have been avoiding sweet kisses and small moments every now and then, mostly because I have other things prancing around in my mind, such as my pregnancy and how I'm lying to everyone around me.

In a matter of weeks, I won't be able to hide my baby bump anymore. Everyone will know the truth, and Darian will eventually discover that this kid is his. I haven't even thought about this child's future. The thought of an abortion has been at the front of the line for a while now, but there's no way that I'll be able to do it. An innocent life will be murdered, all for the sake of me wanting to keep my life together. Then again, I'm not ready to me a mother. This baby deserves someone who can give it a fair chance at life - something I can never give it.

My phone begins to vibrate on my desk, stopping my thoughts from completely obliterating my mind. I pick it up and realize that it's a text from Olivia. My eyes widen, and my heart stops.

LIV : We need to talk. Now. 

   
Today is the fourth of July, which means that I'm hours away from adulthood. Every year, we would celebrate by going to watch the fireworks from a nearby lake and small beach. By watch, dad would set off the fireworks himself and people from our neighborhood would come and join us for the celebration. It was the one day a year that I always looked forward to. That all stopped after my mom and I got in the accident.

Dylan and Caleb insisted on planning my eighteenth birthday party, no matter how much I begged then not to. As usual, they wanted to have it on the beach like all my other parties. I tried to come up with excuses like how the beach was probably already booked or I've already made plans. None of those checked out.

Throughout the day, I continue to get Happy Birthday texts from my friends and other people at school, most of which I barely even know. A lot of them say that they will be attending my party, which is shocking since I haven't even told anyone about it. The only people I told were Sam and Taylor. I haven't even told Silas yet. He probably doesn't even know that it's my birthday.

After my phone chimes for the millionth time, I groan and head downstairs. Caleb is standing by the oven, looking as if he has some sort of nervous twitch. Once he spots me, he freaks and goes to stand in front of the oven. "Hey! What the hell!" He yells.

"What the hell is right! The two of you need to stop inviting random strangers. Do you know how many people texted me saying that they'll be there around five? When did you even make invitations?"

"Okay, first of all, we didn't make the invitations. All that crap is done digitally. And second, we only invited immediate family and close friends," he says.

"People that I don't know are asking me if I prefer lace or silk, and I'm pretty sure half of our family members don't know the difference," I say, and it's true. Three girls, whom I guess are my old classmates, asked if I wore bras or sports bras. Another girl asked where I got my bras and panties. I never replied back.

My mind transports me to tonight where I'm surrounded by drunk idiots making out with their even more drunk girlfriends. I can only hope that Dylan didn't order in a stage and a pole.

Caleb simply shrugs and briefly rotates his head in the direction of the oven where who knows is cooking in there. "Okay, so Dylan and I may have extended the list for a few other guests, but you don't need to worry about that. We've got this all under control."

Suddenly, the timer on the oven ding and an alarming look emerges on my brother's face. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to check on whatever that was," he says, turning toward the oven. Before he opens it, he says to me, "That means you have to leave."

Sighing and rolling my eyes, I turn back towards the stairs. I know exactly what he's doing and what he's trying to hide. The little surprize that's brewing in the oven is obviously a cake. I've been down this road before to know a stall when I see one. I guess that's just another thing added to the list of things to worry about tonight: I have to prep my stomach.

This is exactly why I didn't want to have a party this year. All the confusion will drown out the excitement until the whole celebration becomes a chaotic mess. My brothers have never planned my birthday before, so they automatically think that I'm little miss popular and invite the whole damn school.

I've never actually told Dylan and Caleb about my troubles back when I was in school. They know that Olivia and I have stopped talking, but they don't know how bad the situation got. I didn't even tell them about Silas yet, which is a conversation for another day. At the moment, I'm not even sure where Silas and I stand. We haven't spoken a word to each other about that night at Danielle's house, which was one of the best nights of my life. Right there, in that driveway, was where I let all of my troubles crumble away. It was where I taught myself to move on and leave the past in the past. I should sin myself for saying this, but it just might have been the place that I fell hopelessly and dangerously in love with him.

As I head up the stairs, I hear the doorbell ring, the chime bouncing off each wall of the house.

Automatically, I expect Caleb to get it, but he continues to meander about the kitchen, looking as if he lost something. After a few seconds of waiting and growing irritated, I say sarcastically, "Oh, don't worry, I'll get it." He still doesn't say anything as he rummages through the cabinets and drawers.

I heavily stomp my way back downstairs and open the door. Expecting to see a figure in front of me, I instead come face to face with nothing but emptiness.

The porch is absolutely vacant. I begin to think that it was just one of the neighborhood kids pulling a prank but no one is around. Scanning over all corners of the porch, my eyes land on a large, wrapped box standing just a foot away from the door.

Curious, I walk over and attempt to pick it up, not expecting it to be so heavy. I grunt as I lift it and bring it into the house. This is undoubtedly Caleb's or Dylan's work. "I thought we agreed we were gonna keep things minimal this year," I say to Caleb, placing the neatly-wrapped present on the coffee table in the living room.

He turns his head and looks at me confused. "That thing? I didn't get you that. Mine is way smaller and has about $12 left on it," he says.

"Seriously?"

"Nope, I lied. $10... I think." His attention returns to the oven. I don't know how long it takes to make a cake but I don't think it takes this long.

I purse my lips, staring at the box in front of me. There isn't a card or anything attached to it, which is highly unusual and suspicious. I begin to think that this really is a prank and I should just heave it into the trash. It seems a little too heavy for my liking anyway. Then again, it could be something from one of my friends. This does have Taylor written all over it. She usually goes big with her gifts. Sam is normally more negligible, and Silas doesn't even know that it's my birthday. That shortens the list down to one more person.

I wrap my hands around the packaging and tear through the dark blue paper, biting my lower lip in the process. I have no idea what to expect, or if it is even from him.

Once all of the wrapping paper is torn away, I'm left with a cardboard box with a mailing address taped to the side. It's an address that I don't recognize, but Amazon's logo is printed just below it. I decide to ignore it and grab the pair of scissors from beside me.

When the contents of the mysterious gift is revealed, my eyes widened at the sight before me. There, sitting without a single smudge of fingerprint, shining magnificently in the light of the morning, sits a beautiful telescope.

My past is thrown at me faster than a speeding baseball. This isn't just any telescope. It is the one I've been trying to save up for for years, but I was never able to collect enough funds. I never thought that I would ever see this in person. It's perfect. Just perfect.

Caleb exits the kitchen with a dishcloth in hand, my eyes refusing to look away from the one thing I have always wanted but could never have. "What is it? What'd you get?" He asks, angling his head so he could see into the box. "Jesus Christ, you and your astrology stuff. Did it come with a receipt?"

"Don't be a moron," I say, wanting to throw something at my brother's face.

Aside from that, my mind begins to wonder how this could even be possible, and it hits me. There is only one person whom I told about my big wish.

"If not a list, just say the first thing that comes to mind. The very first thing."

Biting my bottom lip, I search the list in my thoughts for the one thing that I have always wanted. When I locate one, I immediately share it for Noah. "A telescope."

He raises an eyebrow. "A telescope?"

"Yeah. It's something that I've been wanting for a long time. I've just never been able to save up enough money for it," I exclaim to him.

He is the only one who could've done this. There is no one else.

Smiling, I begin to think of Noah, wondering how after all these years, he remembered something as little as this.