Music pounds in my ears, making my skin tingle. Over the roar of the music, guests dance and sing to whatever song is playing. Slight chatter can be heard in all directions, whereas I am as silent as a mouse. I was right. I don't know half of the people here. Some people I recognize from school and others from Dylan's football team, but all are like complete strangers. There are some people from our neighborhood, most likely here for the purpose of the fireworks since it is the Fourth of July. I wish I could be like them and only focus on one holiday.

The fading sun simmers on the face of the water as it begins its descent into the lake. I feel the soft touch of the cool sand in between my toes, enjoying the feeling it gives me. Coming to the lake every year used to be so exciting. My family and I would gather around a warm, brisk fire, joined by our other friends, and watch the sunset and fireworks together. My brothers and I would light sparklers and chase one another around the beach, watching in awe at the colors ignite in the sky. Those are the birthdays that I miss the most. But ever since that horrible night that robbed me of my mom, none have been the same since.

Now, birthdays are all about getting drunk, loud music, and bad karaoke.

Dylan is standing on top of a picnic table, singing a very bad version of Baby by Justin Bieber. Old classmates of his gather around him, cheering him on and holding bottles of beer in the air. By now, he's probably drunk. I can only hope that this place doesn't become a firing lot when him and Caleb set off the fireworks.

Looking towards the parking lot, I watch as more and more guests arrive, trying to pick out those I know from those I don't. I haven't seen Sam or Taylor yet, or Silas for that matter. I had invited him earlier and he said that he'd be here. I also invited Felix and Ashley as well. I even invited Maxi. In truth, I don't know if any of them will show up. It's improbable that Maxi will make an appearance, but the more familiar faces, the better.

Suddenly, my vision is subdued and I'm left in darkness. I'm startled at first, but then I feel the shapes of two hands on my face.

"Happy birthday," a recognizable voice says into my ear. I turn around and the hands are removed from my face, allowing me to see clearly once more.

Taylor brings me in for a hug and I happily hug her back. "Thank you so much for coming," I say.

"Well, I had nothing better to do," my best friend jokes.

"Neither did I," I hear someone else say. From behind Taylor, Sam comes out into view. My smile remains as we embrace one another. I haven't seen her since the last day of school, so it's great that she's here and I get to see her again. "So, let me see it!" Sam yells over the music.

"See what?"

"The tattoo! Taylor said that you grew a pair and got inked up!" she exclaims. I almost forgot about the constellation representing my mother that I got tattooed on my skin a few days ago. It feels good that I have a piece of her with me, especially on a day like today. Holding up my arm, Sam takes my arm and her eyes widen. "Wow, this looks amazing, Rowen. Taylor, you have to get me in touch with the artist," Sam says to Taylor, letting go of my wrist.

The two of us smile. "Oh, I bet Jacks would love that," Taylor says. In the background, the song finally changes, and my two friends exchange smirks. "I love this song. Sammy, come dance."

"No way. I need to find a dessert table. Rowen, wanna give me directions?" She asks me.

"Yeah. Over by the row of picnic tables," I say. Sam nods and heads off in the direction of food, and Taylor goes to join the rest of the crowd. As for me, I'm once again alone.

I decide to go and look for Caleb and hope that he's not as drunk as Dylan. He isn't really one to get wasted, at least not up to the point where he can't even pick out fantasy from reality. As I'm making my way through the crowds of sweaty, dancing people, my eyes land on a different target. Each of them get out of a large, red jeep with bags of different colors in hand. I didn't even think that they were gonna show up.

I change course and make my way toward Silas and the others. He spots me quickly and the two of us lock sights, walking through the sand to reach one another. I'm practically over the moon that he showed. Everyone here is either from school or one of my brother's colleges, but even so, their faces are alien in my memory. Silas is the only one I truly know.

"Happy birthday," Silas says, he words acknowledged with a hug.

When our bodies draw apart, it's now that I notice the little, black box in his clutch. It's unwrapped, but an elegant, silver bow does adorn the package. "I thought I said not to bother with the presents."

"Yeah, like we were gonna let that happen," Ashley says from behind Silas. He too is holding a purple gift bag with a ton of extra tissue paper exploding from the top. Glancing at everyone else's hands, each one holds either a box or a bag. Even Maxi is holding a rectangular box.

Felix steps forward and holds out a larger, paper bag. "Happy Birthday, Rowen," he says, handing me the present.

I graciously accept it. "Thanks." Looking to the side, Maxi looks off into the distance, avoiding all eyes. Someone must have forced her to come her. There's no way that she would come at her own free will. Thinking that I should be polite, I say, "Hey, Maxi."

Felix looks at the blonde a cocks his head. Her face is motionless until she takes a step forward and holds up the brown box. "It's a bracelet. Felix picked it out," she says, not caring about what the others say or think about her unexcited tone.

"Thank you." I take the box and put it inside Felix's gift.

Ashley then gives me his and tugs Felix's arm. "C'mon dude. I see refreshments. Let's give Romeo and Juliet their privacy."

I suddenly feel uncomfortable, but even so, I continue to put on a good face. Silas shifts uneasily as well. "You're real cute, you know that?" He says.

"I'm freaking adorable," Ash responds. Within moments, he and Felix are casually making a path through the crowd. Maxi soon follows, but not before she can shoot me another dirty look. It doesn't have the normal, death threat thread in it, but it still sends me into a nervous and guilty spiral.

Ignoring that, I ask, "Is it too late for him?"

"I think he's years past late," Silas answers, which makes me smile. "Speaking of which, why didn't you tell me that today was your birthday?"

"I told you earlier."

"No, I mean, why haven't you told me sooner?"

The question gets tangled in the myst of the music, though I still hear it. When my brother's first started planning my birthday party, they told me to make a guest list with at least ten people on it. At the very top were Sam's and Taylor's names. Following that was a void of blank spaces. I don't know many people, but out of all my close acquaintances, Silas is bound to me at the top of the list. We've grown close throughout these last few months, and yet I neglected the idea of inviting him. In the end, I not only ignored him, but Ash, Felix, and Maxi as well. Even Noah wasn't on the list.

Though in the end, all those names were included, followed by a few more. Of course, those people are now lost in the crowd of March hares.

Knowing that I can't sum up those words into a functional sentence, I say, "I don't know. I guess it just... never came up. "

"Or you were just avoiding the topic." My thoughts halt in alarm. He's right though. I really was avoiding the topic. "Don't worry, I get it. You're not the type for celebration," he says.

Casually, I release a deep sigh. I'm happy the he understands and that a matter as small as this didn't have to turn into something ugly and brutal. Our shared history tends to rub off on us from time to time, and as a result, we say things that we don't mean and everything becomes soaked in anger and regret. Now that we've grown to respect and like one another, things are different. If we were to get into one more fight, I don't think I would make it out alive. At least not without another scar on my heart.

As the songs play on, so does the evening. Stars creep their ways into their spots in the sky, like faded lighthouses on the murky oceans. Our conversations travels from one topic to another, and we soon find ourselves talking about our pasts. Silas talks about his mom and how close he was with his sister. It seems he and his dad have a very complicated relationship, but I can tell that he loves him very much.

After he is finished, I know that it will be my turn. Not to share my memories, but to make up them as I go. There's so many things that I can't say; things that he can't hear. The list goes on, blurring away the only true and happy memories that I have. Each one is covered up with another secret or lie. But there are still signs of light in my little oblivion, and with Silas, I'm willing to let them shine. "I wasn't always like this. I wasn't always so unmanageable and locked away. My birthdays were always fun, school always came easy, and this level of drama was practically nonexistent." He chuckles under his breath and so do I. "But then, that old me just didn't stand a chance against what was coming."

"Is she still in there?" Silas asks, looking at nothing but me. He doesn't let his attention stir for a single second.

"I like to think so," I answer. "I like to think that the person I was is still the person I am today. But after everything that happened, it's very unlikely."

The light in the distance begins to simmer as its host sinks into the horizon, that very light bathing in the the silver of Silas' eyes. The tips of our fingers begin to interlace, though I don't look down. "You know what I think? I think she's just lost and needs a little help finding the right path," he says, every word soothing me from the inside out. "But the girl that you are today, or should I say woman, she's pretty amazing too."

I smile as the heat grows in my cheeks. By now, they must be past the point of a blossoming hue. Every word in his vocabulary is from a small segment of a much larger dictionary. He knows just what to say and how to say it. And no matter how much I try to suppress my insecurities, they always reveal themselves through an awkward smile and rosy cheeks.

Off in the distance, the joy of this moment, our moment, is immediately cut short. There's no mistake. My eyes see the one person that I did not want to see, at least not here and not now.

My anxiety begins to mount to an unsafe level. I don't know what to do, but I have to do something quickly before everything is ruined. If he sees me with Silas, there's no doubt that the two of them will start talking. Both will have questions that I won't have answers to. Suddenly, out of panic, I ask, "So, wanna get the birthday girl some punch?"

Silas grins. "What, you're eighteen, and all of the sudden, your legs don't work?" My insides scream. If I look or sound too suspicious, I'll blow it. I nervously look over to where he was standing. A different person now stands in his place. I soon hear Silas chuckle and he says, "Calm down, I was just messing with you. I'll be right back, okay?"

Relieved, I answer, "Okay," and he walks off to the other side of the beach. Now is my chance. I have to get rid of him before things start to spiral.

I walk into the crowd of people and search for his face. Maybe it's a good thing that I can't find him. Perhaps he left or wandered off. Maybe he was never here to begin with and my agitation is just playing nasty tricks on my mind.

"Well this is quite the turnout." I hear that voice, the voice I hoped not to hear, from behind me.

As I turn around, I get the first glimpse of his eyes, a face to go with the voice. "Noah?" I ask nervously, though it's pointless. It's not as if some satanic force took over the look and actions of one of my oldest friends. It's actually him. It's actually Noah. "Sorry for the surprize attack. I tried to ask Dylan where you were but he seemed... busy," Noah says.

I peer through the gaggle of people and see my oldest brother drinking a can of beer by the picnic benches. I don't know how many he's had. It only adds to the stack of worries intensifying in my head. I try to conceal much of that with a mask of contentment, but I can't help but feel scared witless that something will poke through.

Containing every negative emotion is like constructing a timebomb. I'm bound to go off at any moment and obliterate everything in my wake. Even over the pounding of the music can I hear the pounding of my own heartbeat. "Noah, what are you doing here?" I ask without sounding too curious.

"Isn't is obvious? I came for your birthday." Deep inside the vacant parts of my mind, I really wanted to see Noah again, but not like this. Despite our wrongs, we've never really stopped being friends. I don't think we ever will. "So, I heard your brothers took over the planning process this year. I've gotta hand it to them, they really went all out."

"Yeah, um, do you wanna go and talk somewhere else?" I ask.

His eyes narrow down to meet mine. "What do you mean? I just got here."

"I know, but I figured we could talk somewhere a bit more private, you know?" Thump. Thump. Thump. My heartbeats jumps from wall to wall in my chest. Silas could be back with the drink any minute. My mind can barely comprehend the situation, and now my sentences are illuminating that fact like a flashlight.

The happiness jumps out of Noah as he looks at me with a combination of curiousness and worry. "Rowen, are you okay? You seem a bit on edge," he says.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lie.

He doesn't believe me. How can he? All we've done since he came back was lie to one another. Even after telling me about his PV, even after being truthful, trust is still at an all-time low between the two of us, especially since that I'm the one that's lying right to his face. He knows it too, and that's the worst part.

All of the sudden, I hear my name intertwined with the chatter of over three dozen people. The source of the sound came from none other than Silas. He must be back with the drinks and realized that I wasn't where he left me.

This is it. There's no getting out of this one. Noah isn't going to budge without a logical reason, and Silas isn't going to just pick up and leave just because the birthday girl mysteriously vanished. There's nothing that I can do except stand here looking completely lost, helpless, and confused.

I suddenly realize that during my short time of contemplation, Noah has been speaking, and I didn't hear a single word. "What?" I say to him, hoping that he will repeat his words without a lick of curiousness. By now, I'm sure he's wondering why I'm here and my mind is freelancing without its protective barrier of a skull.

"Are you sure you're okay, Nyc?" He asks.

No, I'm not okay. I'm not okay at all.

Then, I hear his voice.

"Rowen?" Silas asks. I whip around and see him holding two plastic cups of punch. The words are snatched from me as I try to speak. He doesn't say anything else, though his gaze drifts to another object of focus. It's not hard to find out what it is he's now focused on.

I turn my attention back to Noah, whose eyes are now locked with Silas'. Neither of them know each other, but they know me. They know me for who I used to be. I was once confident, hardworking, and most importantly, I was honest. My mom has always told me that lying is never the right way; that there is a better, more honest way. I've been tarnishing her memory ever since. Every lie I told was another time I spit on her grave.

Silas and Noah don't know me. They never did.

A / N :

Hello, my loves! Thank you so much for tuning it for yet another chapter of We Are Stars!

If you enjoyed it, remember to VOTE and SHARE, and don't forget to leave your FEEDBACK!

XOXO - Keera