Two Years Ago...

"Nyc, calm down."

"Calm down? How the hell am I supposed to calm down?" I pace back and forth across my bedroom floor. My fingers grip fiercely to my head, hoping to rip and tear out every single thought and memory until I'm practically braindead. At least I won't have to worry about the millions of problems that I have just caused if I were stuck in my own body for the rest of my life, however long that may be.

Fire combusts in my throat and I feel as if I'm going to be sick. I force myself to sit down on my bed next to Noah, his hand already gliding across my back. "It's going to be okay. Just give her some time to blow off some steam," he says.

I shake my head in denial. "No, you don't understand. She's furious with me. And at this point, I don't blame her. She has every right to want to ruin my life," I exclaim, meaning every single word. I think back to yesterday and the awful fight that broke out between Olivia and I. The amount of anger in her eyes was more than I ever could picture. She thought that she could trust me, that I was the one person that she could tell anything to. Instead, I was the one person that screwed her over the most. No amount of apologies and favors can fix that.

The only people in the house are Noah and I, therefore it would be safe for me to scream and hollar all I want. Dad is at work, my mom had to run some errands, and both of my brothers are at a party. The one person I have is Noah, now the only friend I have.

"Rowen, I think you have to tell Darian the truth," he says next to my ear.

My head shakes violently as a few tears fall from my eyes. "No, he cannot know. No one can ever know."

"Things have changed now, Nyc. Olivia already knows what happened between you and Darian, and the longer you keep up this charade, the worse the downfall is going to hurt. I mean, look at you." I glance down and place a hand over my stomach. Every day, my baby bump is getting bigger and bigger, and it's getting even more difficult to hide underneath layers of extra-large sweatshirts. He's right. I can't keep this up. "You and I both know that Darian is going to find out sooner than later. At some point, you are going to have this baby, and everyone is going to know," he explains broadly.

Facing the hard truth has officially become a battle. No matter how much I wish that everything will go back to the way it was, it's never going to happen. My life is never going to be the same again, and I have to accept that. Otherwise, I'll die.

I can't keep building my life off of so many lies and so pounds of deception. I have to do something now before the people around me are forced to accept the pain that is rightfully mine. I need to take control of my life again, even if that means staring the truth in the eye and daring it to strike in full force.

"You have to go," my voice creeks, small yet quick breaths of air slightly pushing the small strands of hair that hang in front of my face.

"What?"

"You have to go," I repeat more quickly.

Noah's palm only grows in security as it rests upon my back. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asks. I shift my shoulders, causing his hand to fall, and I arise from the mattress. I feel his eyes follow me as I make my way across the room, eyes filled with nothing but sincerity and worry. I walk towards my desk with my grey hoodie rests on the arm of the desk chair, already wrapping it around my body and inserting my arms into the sleeves. After adjusting my hair and grabbing my purse, he asks, "Where do you think you're going?"

"I'm going to fix this. I'm fixing everything."

"How exactly are you planning on doing that?" he asks. My head feeling as if it may explode from all of his questions, but I can't let them throw me off course. If I'm actually going to do this, Noah can't be with me to get in my way. He won't even know about my actions until it is too late. No one will know.

I hate keeping things from him. Before I told him that I was pregnant, the guilt was tearing me apart, limb from limb. Every day, I wanted to just blurt out the truth about why I've been so sick. When he finally knew, I was relieved. But this is something that he can't know about, at least not until it's over and done with. I hate lying to him, but this is something that I just have to do, for not only his sake, but for my own.

"It doesn't matter," I say with my back still turned to him, "Look, I don't have time for this. Just please leave."

"No, I'm not leaving until you tell me what the hell is going on." I hear his footsteps behind me, followed by the feeling of his hand upon my shoulder.

This time, I shake it off more aggressively than before, shouting out, "Damnit, Noah, just go!" Raising my voice at him almost feels entirely unnatural, especially since we've barely argued in the past. Though this time, I may have gone too far. Noah knows when something is wrong, and he's not going to back down without a certified guarantee that I'm alright.

However, the only way that I'm ever going to be alright again is by doing what needs to be done, even if Noah advises against it. I pick up my keys and try to walk past him, gently brushing past his shoulder as I do, only to have my keys snatched from my palm. "Give me my keys," I order him.

"If you wanna go somewhere, I'm going with you," Noah says, stuffing my keychain into his pocket.

I want to yell and shout and practically demand that he give me back my car keys, but none of that is going to do me any good, so I'm forced to settle upon a more reasonable and humane approach. "Not this time. This is something that I have to do on my own. Besides, you'll only try to stop me," I say to him. At this point, even my tone of voice sounds broken.

He steps forward and stares me down with a serious glare. "If you think that I'm letting you leave in the state that you're in, you're more unhinged than I thought you were," he spats, dangling the tough-love advantage over my head. His eyes then grow more dull and sad, as if he too regrets raising his voice. "Rowen," he begins softly, "I'm just trying to help you."

"Well don't! I don't need your help!" My eyes fly to the bed and spot Noah's set of keys. In a flash, I sprint over and seize them before Noah can stop.

In panic, I run out of the room and fly down the stairs faster than ever before. My legs move so quickly that I almost trip down the last few steps. As soon as I reach the door, I hear Noah scream, "Rowen!" I ignore his call and unlock the door just as he's stampeding downstairs.

The cool air whips through my hair as I run across the lawn that connects mine and Noah's properties together. His car is parked next to his mother's, so I'll have to be fast yet silent if I'm going to make it out of here unnoticed. As soon as I'm in a close enough distance, I press the button on his key that unlocks the car. My pulse burns in my veins as I catch my breath, getting myself into the car just as Noah is running toward me.

"Rowen!"

I struggle to get the key into the ignition, my arms trembling and my head raging. It's a few seconds later that I'm able to start the engine, giving Noah the time he needs to catch up to me and begin screaming my name through the window. With my ears, ringing at such a high volume, I can't make out any of his words or phrases, other than my name. "Rowen! Get out of the car!" he hollars. At this point, it's safe to say that his mother and the whole goddamn street heard him yelling.

I back the car out of the driveway, praying not to hurt Noah in the process. Once I know for sure that he's safe and I didn't hurt him, my foot pounds against the gas pedal, causing the tires to skid as I fly down the street, leaving Noah in my rearview mirror.

Tears sting my eyes and I let out a loud cry, hitting and pounding my fists against the steering away, causing the car to swerve for only a second. How could I have let this go on for so long? How did I even get here? I went from being an average, teenage girl with only her grades, periods, and person hygiene to worry about to a lying, pregnant, slut who only hurts the people around her. This is the only way that I can ensure the good of my own future, even if that means ending another's.

I have to end this pregnancy.

~~~~~

How could I let things go on for this long?

For months, I have tried pushing Silas away, each attempt more weak than the last, and we somehow find a way back to one another in the end. In the eye of a hurricane, the hurricane of my life, things appear blissful and lighthearted when in reality, the storm is only growing more fierce and destructive with each lie that I tell. Soon, that very detrimental force will swallow up the only light in my life that I have left, and Silas will be gone, leaving me in the subsiding eye of the storm.

These have been my thoughts for the past few weeks, constantly articulating in the back of my subconscious. A few weeks ago, Silas and I were closer than we have ever been. We've literally seen the other's scars, the physical and the psychological, and we chose to accept them. I threw myself to the wolves that night, and I barely made it out alive. And today, I'm still suffering from the wounds.

Everyone says that I deserve to be happy, but what is true happiness when the smile that I stick to my face every day is glued on by lies?

Today, I'm wearing that very smile.

I walk into FOSTER'S DINER with the intention of meeting up with Silas. We've been seeing a lot of one another lately, though we've only been on one official date, at least according to my perspective. The rest seemed like two friends just hanging out and enjoying the other's company. However, a few kisses were stolen here and there.

When I get a better sight of the diner, the place is pretty much empty. Silas and I usually grab seats at the counter where would simply chat and he would have me try multiple flavors of coffee and lattes, most of which I find completely disgusting. We would also include Claire into our conversations since it seems she's always here. And that includes today.

"Hey! You're here early," she says as I approach the counter.

"Yeah, I guess so." I take a seat on one of the bar stools and Claire immediately goes to fetch my signature drink: an ice-cold glass of h2o. Silas usually beats me to the punch, so being here without him sort of feels offbeat. In fact, it's strange that he's not here yet.

Claire then reappears, holding my glass of water. "Where's Wells? You a party-of-one today?" she asks, her small, New York accent shining through a few of her syllabus.

"Actually, I don't know. He asked to meet me so your guess is as good as mine."

She shrugs. "I'm sure he's just late. He's not the type to keep the ladies waiting."

It takes me a moment to register her comment, and I try to decide how to take it and what exactly its meaning is. Then I remember that Silas never told me about any of his past relationships, or if he even has any. The thought never even cross my mind. "Ladies? As in other girls?" I ask, attempting not to sound like a jealous girlfriend from obnoxious dramas.

"Yup," Claire answers as she's gathering dirty cups and silverware. She soon stops in her tracks, and looks as if she's thinking. "Well, no. I mean, not since the two you of you started seeing one another."

"So... before we met?"

"Yeah. He and that blonde sidekick of his used to come in here together all the time, and by together, I mean without the company of the other two."

I slide my glass away from me and place my arms on the counter, making an effort to put the pieces together. Blonde? Sidekick? The other two? The clues are there, practically screaming in my face, and the big picture is still unfamiliar to me until my mind finally flashes in realization. "You mean... Maxi?"

Claire snaps her fingers. "Yes, that was her name. Anyway, did you want anything else?"

I don't answer her. How could I have not seen this before? It all finally makes sense. However, at the same time, it only creates more questions. Why didn't Silas ever tell me about his past with Maxi? And more importantly, what happened between them? From what I've seen, all they ever do nowadays is argue, mostly about me. If they were truly that close, what happened that completely changed everything.

I begin to scroll through the possibilities in my brain, but all of an equal chance of being accurate. Claire asks me something during my moment of contemplation, but completely disregarding her question, I ask a few of my own. "Wait, were they dating? How serious were they?"

She sighs and decides to go along with the topic of conversation that she had accidentally started. "Well, for a while, the two were practically inseparable. They acted really friendly towards one another, and I mean really friendly. She would look at him with big ass, doey eyes that you would think were bigger than freaking Bambie's and he would smile at everything she said. It was kinda... gross actually." She concocts a settle look of disgust upon her face and continues to clean and polish the stack of dirty knives and forks in front of her.

I try to hide my frown. Apparently, Silas has more baggage than he was letting on, but who am I to judge? I'm no different. I'm actually worse. Nothing about his past can possibly measure up to the hell my past decisions have brought me.

"Wow," I mutter.

"What was that?" Claire asks.

"Nothing. It's just that... he never told be that he and Maxi were actually together."

"Yeah, well don't worry too much about it. After the two kinda switched gears, it ended pretty quickly, and I'm talking in a matter of weeks."

I look up from the counter and our glances meet. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know much of the details. Believe it or not, Silas doesn't tell me everything. But to tell you the truth, I think she was more into the relationship than he was, and you can imagine the backlash that that situation caused," she explains. All of this new intel remains completely unexpected and almost insane in my eyes. From what Claire has explained, any blind person could see that they were happy together, but hearing that her grip on the romance was tighter than his makes for a world of more sense. During the time that I've known Silas, he has never shown any attraction towards Maxi, and now there are reasons to back up that claim. Nonetheless, it only makes me feel ten-times worse.

My phones suddenly vibrates in my pocket, and I automatically expect to see a message from Silas glowing on the screen. My assumption is proven to be correct, but with a few added details.

Reading the message carefully, my eyes widen in alert, and I re-read it three times over. "Something up?" Claire asks, appearing to be finishing up with the dishes.

I stuff my phone into my pocket. "I don't know. I have to go," I saw, diving into my pocket and pulling out a handful of change to pay for my drink.

SILAS : Meet me at the police station. Urgent.

A / N :

Couldn't update last week, so I updated twice this week! ;)

Hello, my loves! Thank you so much for reading! We're nearing the ultimate conclusion of the book, and I just have a few brief announcements to make.

After all chapters are up, I will be posting a special chapter for Q/A's where I will be replying to any unanswered questions you have regarding We Are Stars, upcoming works, and possible sequels.

Anyways, be sure to VOTE if you enjoying this chapter and also leave your FEEDBACK!

XOXO - Keera