"I came home from work yesterday to find him more drunk than alive. The guy couldn't even talk straight when I talked to him, and he kept rambling things that didn't make sense. We were arguing for a while before you got home, Rowen," Dylan explains so solemnly. There's a deep sadness and regret in his voice that's hard to muster. I've never seen him like this before.

Caleb's hands are clasped together in a ball that rests between the crook of his eyebrows. His eyes are closed and he makes no noise. When he got home from work last night, Dylan and I didn't have the heart to break the news to him that his father wasn't coming back. But once the truth was revealed this morning, it was a surprise to see him more relieved than disappointed.

I take Dylan's hand in mine. "What did you mean when you said that you were the one keeping this family on top of water?" My father was the one who began paying all the mortgage when Mom died, but ever since he became an engaged alcoholic, it's been up to my brothers to pay most of the bills.

"He lost his job around a month ago... and I've been paying the bills ever since. I didn't want to worry you two with that information so I kept it to myself," Dylan explains. "That's the secret that Caleb and I were keeping from you, Rowen."

Caleb is still quiet, but I can see the slow nod in his head as he agrees with Dylan.

"Why did you tell Caleb and not me?" I ask him, not wanting to sound too angry or judgemental.

"He was going to find out sooner than later, and I didn't want you to worry about something as stupid as money. I also needed help paying and since Caleb has a job, I thought he could help me."

My blood runs cold when I realize that my brothers were only keeping this information from me because they felt that they could protect me from the truth - the truth that our family is almost broke. I instantly regret assuming the worst when I found out they were hiding something, and now, all I can feel is sympathetic.

"You both still should have told me," I say to them. "I could've helped."

"Helped how, Rowen?" Caleb speaks up. There's a weariness is his voice. "There's nothing you could've done." That, I can barely come up with a reply for. There is a long list of things I could've done, things that I can still do to help out now that the man who poses as an infestation is gone from our loved. But now that he's gone, what does that mean for us?

"What's gonna happen now that Dad's gone? I mean, he's technically our legal guardian," I state so weakly.

Caleb removes his hands from his face and places them on the table in front of him. "He's technically your legal guardian," he answers. "Dylan and I are adults so he's got nothing on us.

"Yeah, but I'll be eighteen soon," I say. "So it doesn't matter anyway."

Dylan stiffens. "Exactly. So we need to keep this to ourselves until you finish High School. As of right now, we're your guardians, and no one else needs to know," he explains is broad detail so I understand every bit of it.

"And if the school gets a little too curious? What will happen then?" I ask.

Caleb reaches for my hand from across the table. "It's gonna be fine, Rowen. Besides, it's like you said. You're almost eighteen, so you don't have to worry about it."

I nod and try to look strong for my brothers, but my shoddy performance doesn't enact any applause. Instead, I watch as Dylan takes my other hand and takes Caleb's as well until we're all sitting around the table with our hands connecting us. "From now on, we're all gonna try to do better," Dylan says. Caleb and I nod. Now that's something that I can agree too.

~~~~~

My life is officially the definition of intricate. With so many secrets building up in stone inside me, conquering each of them only gets more burdensome, especially since someone whom I can't trust knows one of them, and who knows what he'll do with that kind of information.

I don't see Silas in physics today, which is not necessarily a bad thing. That's one less person that angers me that I have to deal with today. But that feelings collapses the moment I see him outside during the lunch period. So instead of heading toward the cafeteria, I find myself strolling towards where Silas is sitting - under a large oak tree that's been on the academy grounds for ages. His eyes are fixed on the textbook on his lab.

My stroll turns more into a quickened stomp as I make my way towards him. "Hey," I say irritatedly the second I'm in his line of view.

Silas' eyes leave the pages of his book as he looks up to me. He doesn't look surprised to see me. "Hey, Clearwater," he says while closing his book. I twinge at the sound of my own last name, the last name of my mom's changed husband. There is no way I can go another hour with a last name so full of regret and burden. "There something you need?" Silas asks without even a crumb of genuine consent.

"Why weren't you in class?"

He replies with his signature, ass-hole grin. "It's funny that you noticed I wasn't there."

"Yeah well when someone is blackmailing you, it's kinda hard not to keep an eye on them," I throw back.

"We've been over this. I'm not blackmailing you, Rowen."

I laugh. "Right, right. So threatening to sell me out unless I do your dirty work isn't blackmailing?"

"The deal was that if I stay quiet, you had to do something for me," Silas explains with his tone raising. "If I wanted to blackmail you, I would've been more creative."

There's a warning in his words that strikes me as threatening. Silas may not be blackmailing me now, but by the way he's explaining things, what's to stop him from changing his mind in the future? With my dad now gone, the school board would have a riot, charging me of being without a guardian as well as cheating during an exam.

Without making eye contact, I sit on the ground about a foot away from Silas, the grass shaping around my body. "What do you want, Silas?" My question comes out more like a demand; a weak and inexperienced demand.

"What I want isn't something you can give me. But because of the situation you got yourself in, I'm just using it to my advantage." I look at him with a shady glare. That's not enough information and he knows it. "To be honest, I don't know what I'm gonna do with this opportunity, but I sure as hell ain't gonna let it slide."

"I didn't want to do it. I was desperate," I say.

"So that's an excuse to cheat?"

"You would've done the same if you were in my position"

"Actually, I wouldn't have." A smug look appears on his face, sending the urge to slap it right off through my body. It felt nice to slap Darien, but it would feel even better to slap Silas. "You're making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be, Clearwater," he states, only pushing more of my buttons.

Something snaps inside me, like a foot crushing a thin twig or someone snapping their fingers. "Don't call me that."

"What?"

"Clearwater. That's not my name."

Silas chuckles, glancing away for a split-second. "Is there something you'd rather be called?"

The question flurries within my head and memories flourish. I've thought about changing my name for some time now, ever since my dad began drinking. This is my chance to put the rest of those poisoning memories behind me and move on from that part of my life. So I go with the name I know I can trust. "It's Hewitt. Rowen Hewitt," I say my mother's maiden name with pride in each syllable.

Rowen Hewitt.

That sounds much better than Rowen Clearwater.

Silas looks at me with those lustrous grey eyes, but I don't fall for his method of corruption any longer. "Okay, Hewitt. To make things easier for the both of us, just let things play out as they're supposed to.

"So you can have more time to plan my sentence out?" I say as a stinging comeback.

"Clear- Hewitt, just accept the fact that you got yourself into this mess, and getting out of it is the consequence." He speaks to me as if I'm a child being punished, having to sit through a lecture on responsibility and dealing with the outcome of my actions. But this child has just about had it with people scolding her and telling her how she should be living her life. "If it makes you feel any better, in not gonna get you involved in some sinister plot or whatever."

"Well it doesn't, and screw you and your definition of consequences."

"You probably don't know it yet, but I'm doing you a favor."

I almost laugh. "So not only are you a prick, you're also under the impression that what you're doing is good for me. Fantastic."

Silas sets the heavy textbook on the grass. "Do you even know what consequences are?"

That is the gunpowder that causes me to explode. "Yeah, I do, actually. I faced mine when my mom was killed." His look of dominance instantly vanishes and is replaced with regret. "What about her? What did she do that was so bad, that her consequence was death. What the hell did she do, Silas?!" He doesn't answer. "Huh? What did she do?" I now have caught the attention of the few groups of people outside around us.

"Rowen I'm-"

"Don't! Just don't!" I interrupt him. To hell with his meaningless apologies. Screw Silas, screw Darien, screw freaking God, for taking my mother away and leaving me in the care of a drunken monster.

I storm off before Silas can get another word out, people murmuring quietly as I walk. I don't even know where I'm going, just as long as I get away from him and everyone else who has the ability to speak.

~~~~~

Instead of going to the cafeteria , I found myself wandering around campus, looking like a lost puppy. Everything's a mess; my family, my school life, my past. It's as if fate prefers me to live of life of secrecy and wrong-doing. Every action I take and every choice I make always seems to be the wrong one, the wrong path. It's as if I'm cursed.

So I went to a place where I know that I can't make any mistakes; a place that seems to be my remedy of any bad day, or in my case, that's everyday.

I've been on the roof for what seems like hours, at least ever since dusk. Now that the mighty colors of red and gold have faded into a blackened sea above, it's the perfect time to let my emotions free, but in an atmosphere in which no one can see, hear or judge me.

I don't really know where my fascination with the stars came from. My best guess is that it's from my mom's gene pool, but that's as far as I got. She studied astronomy in college but she never made a career out of it. She said her plans were stopped midway when she became pregnant with Dylan, her first success. After that came Caleb, another success. And then came me, her first daughter who grew up a failure.

A/N
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