WARNING: mentioned self-harm

~

Heather Marshall, better known as Rouge, had been a proxy since she was in her mid-twenties. Now at the age of thirty-nine, she was used to it. In fact, she was much more accustomed to life as a servant of Slenderman than many of the others. Hell, she enjoyed living in the mountains: it was the only place where she felt like she could be herself. The only place where she could connect with nature and her favorite animals, wolves, on her own terms, even though other people had told her before that what she felt was fake.

Rouge's journey of becoming a proxy had, like all the others', been a grueling one. It had started after graduating high school, when she began her medical transition into a woman. By the time she was twenty-four, she had had a womb transplant and was able to become a mother, which was her ultimate dream in life. Shortly after she became pregnant, she got engaged. Life was good.

But then, seven months later, Rouge went into labor early and had a stillborn. Just a couple of weeks later, she lost her fiance in a terrible car accident. Of course, she was heartbroken. Her mental health got so bad that she began to self-harm, and her parents threatened to send her to a mental hospital. One night, Rouge had been watching TV when she was lured in by the sound of a baby crying. The next thing she knew, the world went black, and she woke up with a strange mask on her face.

But miraculously, even though she greatly missed her old life, life as a proxy wasn't so bad for Rouge. She met Wilson. She had her beloved son, Desmond. She even instilled herself as a mother figure in the lives of most of the other younger proxies, most of them having had absent or abusive mothers. She was very attached to all of them, and she would give up the world to keep them safe. So the predicament of having dangerous intruders lurking in the forest was terrifying to her.

"How could you not tell them!?" Rouge snapped at Tim and Brian soon after they had shown Jeff and Ben the video tape of Jeff's brother. "I know better than most that Liu's presumed death has been tearing both Jeff and Ben apart for years! They deserved to know the truth as soon as you found that damn tape!"

"We thought Jeff was gonna do something stupid," Tim explained. "Obviously, we should've told him sooner, but at the end of the day, ya can't blame us."

"The best way to handle this is to move forward." Brian went on. "Hopefully, from what we've gathered from the tape, Liu doesn't hold any ill will towards his brother. We're also hoping to resolve things with these outsiders peacefully."

Rouge crossed her arms with frustration, but eventually agreed with them. Once she had finished her business in the main cabin, she headed to Ben, Silver, Engine, and Sally's cabin. She wanted to check on Ben.

As expected, Ben was huddled up in his and Silver's room, and Sally was anxiously waiting outside the door. When Sally saw Rouge, she hugged her. Rouge knocked thrice on the door, and it was Silver's voice who answered.

"Whaddya want?"

"It's Mama," Rouge answered. "I just wanted to check on you."

After a few moments, Silver opened the door. It looked quite miffed.

"Hey, sweetie," Rouge greeted him gently. "Where's Ben?"

Silver nodded towards the bed. Ben was curled up under their blanket, facing the wall. The garbage can next to the bed was half filled with bloodied tissues. Rouge quietly told Silver and Sally to give them a minute, and closed the door behind her, approaching Ben's bed cautiously. She sat on the edge and placed a gloved hand on Ben's shoulder.

"Talk to me, hon." she coaxed him. It was a moment before Ben spoke.

"I was fucking in love with that guy, y'know!?" His voice was strained and high-pitched. It was obvious that they had been crying a lot.

Rouge tenderly rubbed Ben's shoulder. She knew what Ben was talking about, as he had trusted her with that knowledge. When Jeff and Ben were in middle school, Ben had been absolutely head-over-heels for Jeff's stoic, attractive older brother, who was feared by most if not all of Ben and Jeff's classmates. It got to the point where Ben had tried to send Liu a love letter, which ended up failing miserably. Eventually, Liu politely confessed to Ben that he had known about their crush on him from the start, and he didn't return his feelings in the slightest - in fact, he had a crush on the girl whom he was tutoring in French. Liu had been Ben's first love, and first love isn't something you get over for a long time. Ben loved Silver with all his heart, but he couldn't forget the first boy they had had feelings for.

"I know you loved him," Rouge said. She managed a smile. "But he's alive now. Isn't that great?"

Ben didn't seem to know what to say.

"I-I dunno if it's great," they lamented. "It's been nine years - I've accepted his 'death.'

"Th-the Liu in the video tape . . . that wasn't the Liu I knew! Sure, there were red flags when we were kids, b-but I never thought he'd - he'd kill someone. A-and now he's wanted by the FBI for serial murder! He's killed over fifty people!"

Ben sniffled, and Rouge responded by massaging his brow. A short silence fell between them.

"We're all killers here, Ben." Rouge said softly, trying her best to console him. "Even Sally and Charlie. A few of us have killed more people than Liu has."

"Yeah, but we don't have a choice, Mama!" Ben went on. "Liu had a choice!" Whenever Ben cried, he cried blood. And now, droplets of red were starting to escape from their black eyes once again.

Rouge didn't know what to say to that. All she could do was gently stroke Ben's blonde hair.

"I miss him so much," Ben sobbed. "Worst of all, I know Silver's jealous as fuck."

Rouge lied down next to Ben and cuddled her baby.

~

"Mama?"

Rouge turned her head to see who had called out to her as she took off her coat. It was Kate, and she had a worried look on her face.

"What's wrong, honey?" Rouge asked. She was back at her home cabin now, and she could hear Desmond helping Wilson make dinner. Cobalt trotted up to her to request pets.

Kate gulped. She felt almost sick from nerves. After having a long talk with her lover over the phone, she knew what she had to do. But that didn't make her any less terrified. After all, breaking a critical proxy rule was punishable by torture or even death. And she had been keeping this secret for four years.

"You know I'll protect you, babygirl," Lyra had promised in a firm, determined tone. "I swear it on my own fucking grave."

Finally, Kate took a deep breath and looked up at Rouge, who was waiting for her to speak. She stood up straight.

"There's something I need to tell you." Kate said at last. "But you can't tell anyone."