For once, Sam wasn't the only early riser. Cain padded into the kitchen before dawn. Sam was already stirring and woke completely at the sound. The couch was just as comfy as it looked, she wasn't sore at all. She swung the afghan over the back of the couch and sat up.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Cain asked, carafe in one hand.

"No, I was waking up anyway." Sam rubbed sleep from her eye. "Are you always up so early?"

"Usually, yes." He put the carafe back in the machine. "Since you're up I'll use fresh beans."

"Won't that wake Aidan?" She glanced at his door where soft snores drifted from.

Cain chuckled. "Definitely not, that boy could sleep through a hurricane. Did you sleep all right?"

Sam shrugged. "I got some."

She joined him in the kitchen, climbing onto one of the stools at the island. Cain ground fresh coffee and took a French press out of the cupboard to use instead. Fresh coffee sounded amazing. She hadn't had French press coffee in years. Nothing was better.

"Is it your wolf?" His hushed tone was rich with understanding.

"I think so; I keep having these vivid dreams, but not really dreams; they're more like memories, and they don't usually repeat."

"Just the worst ones," he filled in, and she nodded. "I understand. How long has this been going on?"

"It has been really bad for the past week or so, but I think I first heard the voice the day we tried to capture Noah. There might have been some times before that, but that was the first clear intrusion."

"Unfortunately, it's only going to get worse. I'm sure Aidan has told you, but you will likely be faced with your worst memory, and if you can't handle facing it again, the wolf will overpower you, and you will perish."

Sam nodded. "I've already seen that memory; at least the start of it ..."

"This may all happen faster than I've seen before. The bitten folk I knew experienced these challenges in the first month, before their second full moon. You've already had four."

She met his gaze, unaware she had looked away. "I can handle it. I have to."

"That's exactly the kind of determination you need to hold onto. I hope you have something strong to live for." He smiled kindly, and she returned it.

She did have things to live for. There were plenty of things she wanted to do, like travel to Italy, kiss Ada, finish her novel. She hadn't touched it in years and couldn't seem to bring herself to. She had friends and family who loved her. She had a job she adored. Plenty of things to hold on for.

That memory, though ... she dreaded the day she had to face it again. It was always there, on the edges of her consciousness, just waiting for a chance to slip in. She wasn't ready. She had to be.

Her worst memory was not the mauling. It was not the unforgivable murder of Amalie Gaultier. Her worst memory happened years ago, and she hadn't talked about it since it happened. Not to anyone. Charlotte would know what she was referring to. Everyone in town would, but her new friends knew not, and she didn't know if she could bring herself to tell them.

"I can see this is causing distress," Cain murmured, dragging her back to reality. He passed her a mug and set out cream and sugar. "I may not know you yet, but I do know you're a good person. Whatever this thing you fear is, I can't imagine it being insurmountable with a great deal of bravery and support."

"I sure hope you're right." She gave a weak smile.

He returned it. "We're going to help you get through this."

For a while she stared at her coffee, and then over at Aidan's shut door. She hoped he wouldn't wake just yet. "Can I ask you something?" Cain nodded with obviously piqued curiosity. "Aidan won't tell me the truth about this. A couple of times I tried to tell Ada—the friend I told you about—what was going on, and what we were trying to do, but I literally couldn't get the words out, no matter how I tried to communicate. Aidan looked kind of freaked out when I brought it up the first time."

To her surprise, Cain's lips spread slowly into a great grin. "Tell me, did he ever discuss with you the reasons why?"—Sam nodded—"Did he express, perhaps, forbiddance?"

She though for a moment. "Yes, he said I couldn't tell Ada because it would be violating the laws that protect our kind."

The grin grew. "This is incredible news."

"Um ... how come?"

"We should go to the deck for this conversation." His eyes darted to Aidan's room.

She went along with it and threw on her boots, the afghan clutched tight around her figure. There was no furniture to sit on, since the weather would have ruined it, so they simply stood at the far railing gazing down the lawn to the woods. Though it was dark, with the single light on inside and their low-light vision, she could make out tree trunks and shrubs in total clarity. Cain cleared his throat beside her, shifting his weight.

"I understand why he didn't want to discuss this with you; not only is it a hot-button issue between us, the truth is ... a little unsettling. I hope you can understand that when I'm finished."

Full of trepidation, she fixated on the scenery to stay level. Her pulse was beginning to pick up. Cain sucked in a deep breath.

"The pack alpha has some perks the rest of us don't. He has explained his ... stature, yes? So the physical perks are quite apparent. The alpha is the strongest, the best leader, and in most cases carries the blood of prior alphas. There is a pack in Romania which chose its alpha after executing their own for betrayal. Anyway, it can be challenging to keep a direct group of thirty or so people in the shadows, and even more-so the thousands living away from the family. There is one guarantee they listen, or at least tell the truth about their indiscretions: the alpha can give orders that must be followed to those who are loyal to them. That's why we don't allow for our kind to exist outside the pack. They can join any pack, we are not picky that way. If the pack will have them, then they may exist in peace. If they refuse, they are hunted the rest of their lives.

"I know this must sound horrible, but we are not like humans, and that's both a blessing and a curse. You've seen yourself what can happen to one of us. It may not always be for the same reason, but there are bound to be those who cannot handle having the wolf inside them, even those who are born into it. It is rare, of course, but it happens."

"Can the alpha order them to do something horrible, something the person would never do otherwise?" Sam interjected.

Cain appeared thoughtful. "I suppose they could, but I haven't witnessed it, myself. Some people try resisting their orders, but generally the alpha's will is already echoed inside their people naturally. They are our leaders for a reason."

"So you're saying most of our kind are just okay with killing people who won't align themselves?" There was a rock in her belly again.

"We're not exactly okay with it, but we do what we must. Believe me, these rules come from necessity, not a madman."

Sam peered over at him. "It wasn't always this way?"

"No, not at all. The packs were formed as a way for our kind to stay in touch during the first hunts in France, to share our resources. Not all of us could handle living in the shadows, or bending to someone else's will, and they went their separate ways. Many humans were bitten in that time, and a surprising number survived. We were becoming too public, even the smallest hamlets managed to spread word of these horrific attacks to other villages, and the hunt for a 'booming wolf population' began. That was when the law was crafted. The hunt was no where near as bad as in France, but we still lost many who were unaware of the dangers of travelling in their other form. Even after the population was deemed under control, others continued the spree. I rather think some of them did it for fun."

"Then they made the law requiring you to align with a pack?"

"Yes. In itself, alignment is not a major change in your life. I'm the alpha's brother, for goodness sake, and I have no contact with him."

Her eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes," he chuckled. "Chase and I haven't spoken in ten years, yet I am still aligned with him."

Sam chewed her lip for a time. Cain made a good point, though she still felt uneasy about forfeiting her free will. "What's the catch to alignment?"

Cain shrugged. "He can call on you, should he need, and it's not an easy thing to ignore. He tried to get me to return to discuss Noah not long after he 'went missing.' Chase sent representatives, my younger cousins, one at a time, each demanding I return for a meeting. I stressed that if Chase wanted to talk with me he would do so in my own home. He did not."

She smirked at the note of pride punctuating his victory. "I have another question: was I not allowed to tell her by proxy? Aidan being aligned and all, and I not being?"

Cain's expression was oddly excited. "This is where the issue becomes hot-button. You see, being unaligned as you are, you should be free to do whatever you desire. I rather think you've confirmed a longstanding theory of mine."

"Which is ...?"

"Well, Aidan is not truly aligned anymore. His banishment was an official one. The only reason he's allowed to exist as such is because he was given a job. Regardless, Aidan is independent, as much as you are—or ought to be. I have long told him there is nothing stopping him from forming his own pack. He has the blood. He has the freedom. He has the training and the rituals. Still, he refuses to hear me on this. He insists he wouldn't do so even if it was possible. He truly believes he is not cut out to be the alpha."

"So ... your theory is that he has, in fact, become an alpha, and I have unknowingly aligned myself with him?" Sam surmised.

"That's exactly my theory." A teacher's pride glowed on his face. "Do you agree?"

She hesitated, giving it some true thought. There was no chance she was just too nervous to tell Ada that night. She didn't know the alpha, Chase, and she certainly didn't feel any warmth toward him for all the shit he put his sons through. Aidan, on the other hand, had saved her life more than once, and she had returned the favour without hesitation. She would do it again. She looked to him for guidance, for support. Cain might be onto something. She told him as much.

"I'm glad you think so, too. Convincing him will be a different feat."

"I think he already knows, he just doesn't want to admit it." Cain gave her a quizzical stare. "When I brought it up, he got really still and quiet. That was actually the time I heard the voice. It said 'he's lying.'"

"You don't say ..." Cain took a long sip. "That's not unheard of. Also, I think you probably confirmed his fears. Possibly his worst ones, though I'm not sure what ranks highest for him these days."

A door clicked open inside, and they both turned to see Aidan emerge from his bedroom, his hair a curly disaster. Sam led the way in. Her nose was starting to run. Aidan glanced between them in trepidation.

"What's up?" he said simply. "Cain, why are you smiling?"

"You're not going to like it much." Cain got a mug ready for Aidan. "I think more than ever that you can be, and now are, an alpha."

Aidan glared at her. "What did you say?"

"I told him about not being able to talk. You wouldn't give me any answers." Sam shrugged lightly.

"No, definitely not." He stood up straight, forgetting about the crusted sleep he was rubbing from his eyes. "That's impossible."

"It absolutely is not and you know that for a fact." Cain's firm tone surprised her. "You met Sydney when you were a child and she doesn't have a drop of alpha blood in her, yet she completed all the rituals you did and commands her pack as strongly as Chase. Don't be so obtuse."

Aidan flinched, but didn't back down. "I refuse to accept that."

"How can you ignore the evidence right in front of you?" implored Cain with a gesture to her.

When he met her gaze, the glare softened along with his jaw. "You can't be serious ..." It was more of a plea than a dismissal.

"Sorry, but I am. You know as well as I do I would have told Ada everything in a heartbeat if I was able. I definitely wasn't able."

Sam wouldn't look away, no matter how uncomfortable it became to focus on those taupe eyes. She didn't know if he was actually seeing her anymore, or if he was staring deeply into wherever his mind had gone. He remained tense, and his shoulders gradually slumped. Was this air of defeat as bad as when she woke in his arms? It was hard to say.

"I need some time," he muttered, striding into the darkness beyond the sliding glass door in just his pyjama pants.

She looked to Cain then, a crushing weight on her shoulders. She hated to cause him distress, but Cain was onto something. What other explanation could there be to her specific muteness? Cain seemed at just as big a loss.

"I just thought of something ..." She climbed onto one of the stools and tried to ignore her misplaced guilt. "If Aidan is independent, as you say, does that mean he wouldn't have to answer to his father's orders?"

Cain's lips flattened in thought. "That is a good question. I don't have any experience to reference, but if I had to guess, it might be possible that Aidan's perceived loyalty could force him to answer. On the other hand, that could just be in his head, and he may not find himself in such a situation at all. I hope for the latter, but fear the former is likely."

Sam nodded slowly. "We have to make sure he doesn't try to return to the pack when this is over. It won't do either of them any good."

"I agree. I never intended to let them return once we got our hands on Noah. Though, I also never thought Noah would be so hard to catch. My impressions aren't infallible."

For all their sake, she hoped for the latter.