You awoke to the feeling of something stroking your cheeks. Your eyes fluttered open to see Suga's face swimming in front of you. You realized his fingers had been gently caressing your cheek while his arm was tucked under your head as your pillow. You had a fleeting thought that it was the most comfortable pillow you'd ever had. Suga smiled when your sleepy gaze met his.

"'Morning, little firecracker." He said huskily, his voice hoarse from sleep. "Well, more like good afternoon." He corrected himself, smirking in amusement. You blinked, eyelids still heavy.

"Were you watching me sleep?" You asked, rolling out your neck.

"Maybe."

"Creeper."

Suga chuckled and you shuddered at the low rumble from his chest. He pushed against you and you rolled onto your back as he hovered over you, placing moth hands on either side of your head to hold himself up. He lowered himself down to place a long sweet kiss on your lips. You hummed in satisfaction as you lifted your hands to fit around his neck. The kiss deepened and you felt Suga made an odd sound in the back of his throat as one of his hands found your waist and tucked under your shirt. You gasped as the burning touch on your bare skin and he took the opportunity to trail kisses down your jaw and your neck.

You had to admit, you could get used to waking up like this.

Suga's lips returned to yours and they became more urgent as you pushed your fingers into his messy hair, responding just as urgently. It was starting to get hot as Suga moved to pull your shirt over your head. Just as he was about to pull it away, you let out a quiet moan and arched your back.

Suddenly, you had a flashback of Luke's hands removing your shirt as he pushed you back into the bed.

Just as sweet as I remember

You gasped as bugs crawled over your skin and jerked back, pushing Suga away. You couldn't get the feeling of Luke's hand on you and your heart jerked up into your throat as you gagged.

"Stop, s-stop..." You croaked, pulling your shirt out of Suga's grip. Suga rolled off you instantly and turned to you in concern.

"Y/N? What's wrong, did I hurt you?" Suga looked over you in concern and you felt your eyes well up in tears. You couldn't believe Luke was still affecting you. He was freaking dead and he was still affecting you.

"N-no, I'm sorry, it's not you." You tucked your knees into your chest and pressed your forehead against your legs, forcing yourself to breathe.

You hated yourself. You were dirty, used, broken. Suga deserved better.

"Y/N, talk to me." Suga whispered. He touched you timidly and when you didn't recoil, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. You felt a couple of tears roll down your cheeks.

"I-I can't stop thinking about..." You trailed off and Suga didn't need you to finish the sentence. He knew what you were thinking.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry, I should have protected you." He whispered, tightening his hold on you. You shook your head, a couple more tears escaping past your defenses.

"You should hate me. You shouldn't be blaming yourself. I did this." You growled, clenching your fists.

"You didn't do anything. You were doing what you had to survive. I could never hate you for that."

"But I wasn't, Yoongi!" You cried out, pulling out of his grip. Suga stared at you in surprise as you turned away from him.

"I didn't have to... sleep with him. I could have fought him off. I should have fought him off. I thought... I thought you were dead. He told me he'd won, which I thought meant he had killed you." You shivered at the memory. "I didn't have to let him do that to me. There was no point in pretending anymore if you were dead. I could have fought him off, but I didn't. I didn't say no... I didn't say anything..." You trailed off and gritted your teeth, curling up.

"You should hate me. I hate me."

You felt Suga's arm latch onto your bicep and turn you around forcefully. His grip was firm and angry, but you knew he wouldn't hurt you. He forced you to look him in the eye.

"I need you to hear me, little firecracker, okay? Listen to me." He commanded, forcing you to look into his eyes. "This. Is. Not. Your. Fault." He said firmly, pausing between each word. You looked away but he shook your arms, drawing your attention back to his gaze. "Do you hear me, Y/N? What happened to you wasn't your fault. Don't hate yourself for something you couldn't control."

You opened your mouth to argue with him that you could control it. Suga clamped a hand over your mouth, preventing you from speaking.

"No, Y/N, you're not hearing me. What happened to you in Luke's captivity was not your fault. If you had refused him or fought him, he might have killed you, or worse, forced himself on you. You made sure you stayed in control of your situation."

He removed his hand from your mouth as your eyes widened. Was he right? Was it possible you were blaming yourself from something that would have resulted in a bad outcome no matter how you had reacted? You pursed your lips and looked down, feeling your cheeks heat up.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to watch..."

"I didn't watch it." Suga removed his hands from your arms and you felt a chill pass over your body when he was no longer touching you. You looked up at him to see his face twisted in pain. "I couldn't watch it." He corrected himself. "I was just lucky it was muted. All I had to do was close my eyes."

"I'm so sorry..."

"It's not your fault, little firecracker. Okay?" He gave you an intense stare that left no room for argument. Your lips quirked and you nodded. Maybe you didn't totally agree with him, but you promised you would try to forgive yourself at least.

"Okay..." You nodded and spread your arms out. Suga responded to your embrace and pulled you into his chest, resting his chin on the top of your head.

The two of you fell back into bed, this time just breathing with each other, enjoying each other's company. You hated that you couldn't please him the way he wanted. Not yet, anyway. You would need time to get over what had happened to you. You weren't sure how long you would need, but you hoped that Suga would still want you even if you couldn't give him what he most likely wanted badly.

"Y/N?" Suga spoke after a few minutes of comfortable silence. You tilted your head as he stroked your hair, letting it brush over your shoulders. "I've been meaning to talk to you about this." You peered up at him, waiting for him to continue.

"If this goes the way I think it will, if we do move to another city, I was hoping you would come with us." Suga said nervously. Your eyes widened at his tone. Suga was never nervous. Suga was assertive, firm, determined, sometimes cruel, but you had never heard him sound nervous ever in the time you'd known him.

"You want me to come with you?" You squeaked, feeling a sense of euphoria build up in your stomach. Suga looked down at you and gave you a tender smile that made your heart melt.

"Well, if I'm going to try to rule another city, I'm going to need a queen." He said softly, smirking at you. Your heartbeat sped up and you wondered if Suga could hear how fast your heart was beating.

"You want me to be your queen?" You asked, unable to contain yourself. Suga's smile widened as he recognized the 'yes' on the tip of your tongue.

"Is that a yes?" He grinned as you opened your mouth to agree wholeheartedly. You were about to burst out with the fattest 'yes' you could, but something stopped you. Something... something that you realized you still had to do.

"Yoongi, nothing would make me happier." You said, quelling your excitement. Suga's grin widened. "But..."

"But? What but? No buts." Suga cut you off and you chuckled at his childish reaction.

"Yoongi, I can't just up and leave. There's something I still have to do." You said solemnly. Suga sighed and tilted his head back.

"Did you know that you're the only person in the world who calls me, Yoongi?" He said wistfully. You blinked, not even realizing that you'd been calling him by his real name.

"I'm sorry, I can stop..."

"No, don't stop. I like the way it sounds when you say it."

You smiled and Yoongi looked back down at you.

"If there's something you still need to do, then I'm with you. Whatever it is, I'll support you. I'm not going to leave without you." Suga said firmly. "I've almost lost you too many times. Not this time." He leaned down and kissed you greedily. You shivered at the possessiveness of his kiss. How you deserved this man, you couldn't explain.

That evening, you sat in the passenger's seat of Suga's SUV as he drove down the small neighborhood road in tense silence. You gripped the strap of the duffle bag on your lap and nervously tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. You had no idea how nervous you were going to be when you told Suga what you had wanted to do. Suga parked in front of a familiar house and you took a deep breath. You went to open the door when Suga's hand shot out to grip yours.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come?" He asked for what felt like the millionth time. You smiled at his concern and patted his hand.

"I need to do this alone. I'll be okay, I promise." You reassured him. Suga released you and you hopped out of the car, slinging the duffle bag over your shoulder. You took a deep breath and made your way to the front door. You heard the sound of the car engine and turned to see Suga driving away, just as you asked.

You took another deep breath and knocked on the door. You waited for a few minutes, and when there was no answer, you bent down and took the spare key from under the welcome mat. It was still there, even after all this time. You unlocked the door and walked inside, breathing in the familiar smell of your house. You looked around, noticing how everything in the foyer was exactly as you left it.

As you made your way further into the house, the messier it got. The kitchen was a disaster. Dirty dishes, empty alcohol bottles and remnants of two or three cocaine lines on the end of the counter. You sighed, a sinking feeling in your chest as you walked further into the house. You walked into the living room and pursed your lips at the sight in front of you. Empty beer cans, pizza boxes, plastic bags and red solo cups were strewn everywhere from the floor to the coffee table and to the couches.

One of the couches was occupied and you felt your heart clench as you recognized your father's sleeping form. There was a beer bottle hanging limply from his hand and there was white powder residue around his nose.

Your suspicions had been correct. He hadn't come looking for you at all. He hadn't fought for you at all. He may not have sold you out, but he may as well have. This was worse than you could have imagined.

"Dad." You finally spoke, your voice coming out hoarse. You reached your leg out and kicked your father's foot. He jolted awake, dropping the bottle in his hand. It fell to the ground and cracked, spilling the brown liquid all over the carpet.

Your father's unfocused eyes swung around the room in confusion. When his gaze focused on you, his already wide eyes widened even further.

"Y-Y/N?" He croaked, planting his feet on the ground. He tried to stand up, but lost his balance and fell back. He let out a loud laugh and tried again, this time successfully standing up. You cringed at how much of a train wreck he was. You were happy that you made Suga stay away. You didn't want anyone witnessing this mess.

"Y/N! I can't believe it's you! I thought for sure you were dead. I looked for you every day. I was so worried." Your father stumbled over to you and threw his arms around you. You almost fell over from his weight as the smell of alcohol and smoke filled your lungs. You grunted in pain as he squeezed you, right on the places where you'd been repeatedly kicked in the ribs.

"Dad..." You repeated as he finally released you. He looked up at you and you saw tears well up in his eyes. He was still high and drunk off his rocker. Big shocker there, you thought bitterly.

"Did they hurt you? I hope they didn't hurt you. How did you escape? I got the police involved, did they catch them?"

"Dad..."

"I tried to raise the money, baby, I did. I promise I tried my best. But it's just so hard to get a job these days. I even pawned off my old guitar, but it wasn't enough." Your father continued like he hadn't even heard you, waving his arms dramatically.

"So instead you spent the money on alcohol and cocaine?" You snapped, causing your father's head to jerk to you.

"Baby, you don't understand..." He started. You looked away, unable to look at his guilty expression as he tried to explain away the reason he had basically sold you out. "I tried, baby, I swear I tried. I went to the police and the lawyers. No one believed me."

"Luke believed you." You pointed out bitterly.

"Yes! Lucas believed me. He promised he would save you." Your father jumped on your words and smiled gratefully at you, as if telling Luke and asking him for help had solved all his problems. You clenched your fists.

"Yeah, in exchange for me, right dad? You sold me out to him so he would take down the people you owed money to." You growled, watching as disbelief and surprise filled your father's gaze.

"No, baby, I didn't sell you out. Lucas promised he would bring the Bulletproof gang to justice if I gave him my permission to ask you to marry him." He explained, gripping your hand. You almost threw up right in front of him. You swallowed the bile in your throat and closed your eyes, forcing yourself to breathe evenly.

"He wanted to marry you, baby! Did he tell you?" Your father gave you a cautious smile, like he was expecting you to burst out with good news. Was he really so blind? Did he not get it? Did he not understand that you had to literally run away from Luke without any warning to escape him?

"Luke is dead, dad." You deadpanned. Your father's expression fell and he gaped at you in shock.

"W-what? How? Did they kill him?" You rolled your eyes.

"No dad, I killed him." Your father froze and dropped your hand in surprise at your statement. He gawked at you, open mouthed. You narrowed your eyes as fear and disbelief filled his gaze.

"You... you killed him? Oh my god, Y/N, what did they make you do?" You rolled your eyes. You hadn't realized how disconnected you were to your father. It was uncanny how little of yourself you saw in him.

"They didn't make me do anything, dad. I killed him because if I didn't then he would have killed me."

"That's ridiculous, he loved you." Your father shook his head adamantly. You pursed your lips, annoyed that he was so quick to defend Luke.

"No, he didn't. he only wanted to possess me." You sighed and rubbed your nose. "That's not why I'm here, dad." You opened your eyes and tossed the duffle bag at your father's feet. He stared down at it before looking back up at you.

"I'm leaving, dad." You said, glaring at him. Your father swallowed.

"O-okay, when will you be back?" He asked cautiously. You shook you head.

"No, dad, you don't get it. I'm leaving for good." You deadpanned. Your father paused, a surprised look passing over his face.

"B-but why? You just got back. Are you... are you going back to them?" His voice came out quiet and you wondered if he was more afraid for you or for himself.

"Yeah dad, I am." You replied easily. There was no point in lying. It wasn't like he was going to try to follow you.

"They'll kill you!" He exclaimed. You let out a laugh and shook your head.

"No, they won't. But I'm not staying here with you." You said, smiling slightly even though there was nothing funny about the situation.

"Y/N, please think about this."

"I have, dad."

"You have Stockholm Syndrome."

You let out another loud laugh. Ironic how that never crossed your mind when you were with Luke, except that you may have actually been suffering from Stockholm Syndrome all those years ago. It was funny to think about all the shit you'd been through in your life. How were you not more messed up? Maybe you were more messed up than you thought. You were willingly going to go with a bunch of murderers and drug lords and yet that seemed like the sanest option. You chuckled to yourself at the thought.

"No, I don't dad. If I wanted to, I could leave, and they would let me. But I don't want to leave them." You said, shrugging nonchalantly. Your father stared at you in disbelief.

"B-But Y/N..." He protested, trailing off. You rolled your eyes and pointed at the bag on the floor.

"That bag has ten grand inside." Your statement immediately drew your father's attention to the bag. He seemed to have forgotten about you as he stared hungrily at the bag. You sighed, wondering if giving your father the money was a as good idea as you thought it was.

"Use it to pay off any debts you owe and then you need to get help. Go see a therapist, or rehab or something. Get some professional help because this..." You gestured around the house. "This is pathetic." You finished. Your father flinched at your words.

"I will, honey. I will get help, I promise. But please don't leave. I need you here." You closed your eyes, knowing that he was going to pull this card. You knew that he probably wasn't going to last long without you. He wouldn't be able to keep this house without a job and you knew that he couldn't get a job or make money without you.

"I can't stay here. I can't keep letting you take advantage of me."

I can't keep letting you drag me down.

"But I'm not..."

"Goodbye, dad. I hope everything works out."

You turned around, forced your eyes not to well up. He wasn't worth your tears. Your eyes burned as you walked back to the front of the house. You turned around for a second, wondering why your father wasn't calling out to you. When you looked back into the living room, you saw him bent over the open duffle bag, looking hungrily at the wads of bills. You pursed your lips and turned away.

It was definitely a mistake to give him that money. But you couldn't leave him with nothing. He was still your father after all. And he was a good man when he was sober. You just wished he realized that.

With a heavy heart, you pushed the door open and walked out the door of your house for the last time.

BONUS

You entered the tattoo shop, nerves jumping in your chest. You pulled your hair into a ponytail and looked around the shop. Nobody was here, save for a worker who was sitting at a desk. His was completely inked up on both arms and his chest and he only wore a white wifebeater, so his tattoos were on full display. You wondered fleetingly how many of those tattoos he had done himself.

"Um, hi." You said awkwardly, walking over to the worker. The man looked up at you and narrowed his eyes.

"You gotta be of age to get a tattoo, kid." He said tersely, his tone less than friendly. You rolled your eyes and pulled out your ID.

"You flatter me." You said sarcastically. The worker checked your ID and raised an eyebrow in surprise. He shrugged and stood up from his chair.

"You know what you want?" He asked, gesturing for you to take a seat in the artist chair.

"Yeah, but I'm actually waiting for someone. You know... for moral support." You said, scratching the back of your head. The worker's gaze softened slightly.

"The first one's always the scariest." He said, his voice understanding. You gave him a small smile, touched that he was trying to calm your nerves.

You had to admit you were very nervous to be getting a tattoo. You had heard how painful it was, but pain wasn't the scary part. Pain, you could handle. It was more about the permanent part that scared you. The fact that the ink on your skin would be there forever was more than a little terrifying. What if you decided ten years down the line that you hated the design? What if the unspeakable happened later in life and the tattoo would forever be a reminder of what you'd lost?

"So, you're from out of town?" You were pulled from your thoughts when the worker spoke up. You nodded, wrapping your arms around yourself.

"Yeah, just moved here a couple of weeks ago." You said vaguely. "The house hunting is awful." You added, cracking a wry smile. The worker nodded, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"I know a realtor who might be able to find you something on the cheap. Are you living alone?" He said, giving you a more than friendly smile. You looked over at him and narrowed your eyes. Was he being too friendly, or were you just being paranoid?

"No." You replied, wrapping your arms around yourself. Now, the black V-neck tank top that you were wearing seemed like a mistake. The man looked down at your legs through your dark skinny jeans and up the rest of your body. You gritted your teeth. Seriously, was this the only thing on men's minds?

"Oh, I see. A boyfriend?" You could hear the hope in his voice. Was every man you met this disgusting? You rolled your eyes.

"Nope." You retorted, looking away. You glanced over for a second to see him visibly relax. You sighed and looked down at your watch, wondering when the hell they were going to get here.

"So, are you single?" The worker moved from around the table and walked toward you. You rolled your eyes again.

"Didn't you think I was underage not five minutes ago?" You squared your shoulders, facing him head-on. You had learned in the last few months that most men didn't like women who were strong enough to face up to them and argue. Most would go after weak girls and you were anything but weak.

"I didn't get a good look at you." The worker said, smiling gleefully.

"I'm not interested." You replied easily, standing your ground.

"Oh, come on baby. You're new in town, right? Let me show you a good time." He reached out to touch you and you raised an eyebrow. You were about to grab his wrist and twist it hard when the door to the shop opened.

"What's going on here?" A low growl came from the doorway and you smirked as the worker's face hardened. You turned your head as Suga walked in the shop, followed by all six boys. Suga walked up next to you and snaked a hand around your waist.

"Hey, babe." He whispered huskily. He bent down to kiss your cheek and your smirk morphed into a pleased smile.

"You're late." You reprimanded. Suga let out a small chuckle.

"Forgive me." He bowed his head sheepishly and you laughed, giving him a small peck on his jaw.

"I thought—I thought you said you didn't have a boyfriend." The worker said, interrupting the intimate moment. Suga's smile fell off his face as you turned back to the worker, a scowl on your face.

"I don't."

"She doesn't."

The worker stared in between you in confusion. You lifted an eyebrow as Suga pressed your body against his.

"Are we getting this tattoo or what?" You said, breaking the tense silence. The worker cleared his throat and nodded, pointing to the chair.

"Of course. Please have a seat."

You walked over to the chair and sat down in it, holding your wrist out. You passed the artist your drawing from your pocket as Suga and the other boys circled around the artist and your chair. As you waited for the artist to get ready, you felt Suga's hand take yours. You looked up at him and smiled.

"Are you ready for this? We don't have to do it right now." He said, rubbing your wrist. You shook your head.

"I'm ready. I think this is honestly long overdue."

"You got that right." Jimin grinned at you from behind the artist. You smiled at him and gasped when the artist touched your wrist.

"I'm going to trace the drawing." He said, making you relax.

You tried to close your eyes and not think about the artist tracing the drawing on your wrist. When he was finished, he picked up the needle and turned it on. It started making the loud buzzing sound and you grabbed Suga's hand, squeezing hard. The needle met your skin and you winced, gritting your teeth.

"Ouch." You muttered, trying not to imagine how the needle was cutting into your skin. If you didn't look at it, then the pain didn't seem as bad. Suga used his free hand to rub your shoulder, trying to ease out the tension. You smiled at his generous attempt.

It was over much quicker than you expected, and the artist wiped your wrist with a cloth. You looked down at it as all the other boys peered down at the artist's handiwork.

"What do you think?" He asked.

You smiled and looked up at Suga.

"I think it's perfect." You said, looking into his eyes with a dreamy smile. Suga returned your smile and nodded. He bent down and kissed you softly his lips wet against yours. He grinned against your lips when you let out a tiny moan that most people probably couldn't hear.

Probably.

"Perfect for a queen." He replied softly, running his thumb over your cheekbone. You felt shivers run down your spine at the sound of his husky voice. This was the second time he had ever addressed you as his queen.

"You're one of us now, Y/N." Jungkook said, drawing your attention to the youngest member. You smiled and nodded.

One by one, each of the boys pulled up their sleeves to reveal the exact same symbol tattooed on their own wrists. Now you had the same symbol on your wrists as they did on yours. You were truly one of them and it made your heart swell.

It had been a long time since you'd felt the way you did at that moment. You finally found a place you belonged with people who truly cared about you. It was the first time in your life when you felt invincible.

Like you were standing on top of the world.

Like you were Bulletproof.

END