Chapter 34: Girls' night

The party ended with a picture taking with all the guests. Most of them already bid their goodbyes to get home. Some stayed to enjoy the night with conversations.

Unlike the usual debut celebration, nahuli 'yong family picture namin. Good thing dahil nag-retouch ako nang very light kanina! Pinaiyak ako ni Eli eh... pinaiyak sa saya.

Well, it's to my advantage that the make-up I used was a PR from Fern Cosmetics. Those were from their newly released waterproof kits.

Bongga, 'di ba?

When the photographer asked for Ate Felize and me, I gently pulled away from Eli's hold. Nilingon ko siya mula sa tabi ko to give him a sweet smile. He did the same thing before he softly mumbled, "I'll wait here."

Hindi ko naiwasang ma-touch dahil sa sinabi niya. Parang hinaplos 'yong puso ko at ang sarap mapasabi ng 'awww', gan'ong level!

Get, get, aw lang?

'Di ko alam kung dahil ba 'to sa pagmamahal ko sa kaniya o ang touching talaga ng sinabi niya... simple yet its the thought that counts.

I smilingly whispered, "Thank you."

Ate Felize was waiting for me, so I briskly stood. We joined Laurice, daddy, and mommy on the platform. Laurice was sitting on the throne, of course, with mommy and daddy behind her.

Tumabi si ate kay mommy and they expected me to stand beside daddy. Well, that's not my plan!

"Urong ka," nagmamadaling utos ko kay Laurice na ikinakunot ng noo niya.

She was about to ask whys but I stopped her by shushing her. Bahagya ko siyang inusog pakaliwa para may maupuan ako.

Mariing tanong ni mommy, "Anong ginagawa mo?" Which I know was for me even without looking back.

I expected that reaction from her earlier on, so I wasn't bothered.

Pagbigyan na! Isipin ko na lang na gan'on lang talaga 'yong mga tanungan niya. At least, kinausap ako, 'di ba?

That's my happy thought.

Walang lingon-lingon, I happily answered her, in a matter of fact, "Getting ready for a photograph!"

Nag-aalinlangang tumingin sa 'kin 'yong photographer habang hawak 'yong camera niya. Para bang 'di niya alam kung kailan siya magbibigay ng cue.

So, I took the initiative to lead the countdown by calmly announcing, "We'll be posing in one..." The photographer immediately raised his DSLR readying himself for a capture. "Two... three!"

Mabilis kong pinulupot 'yong mga braso ko sa leeg ni Laurice na ikinabigla niya. Dinikit ko rin 'yong pisngi ko sa kaniya habang ngiting-ngiti na nakatingin sa camera.

I couldn't help but to laugh seeing from my peripheral vision that she wasn't able to smile when the photographer clicked the shutter button. As in shock na shock 'yong mukha niya.

"Ready for another picture!" I cheerfully informed them as I composed myself.

I crossed my legs, placed my hands on my knee, and slightly lifted my left hip.

Kahit parang ang daming tanong at gustong sabihin ng mga kasama ko, they kept themselves quiet. For sure, ayaw lang din nilang mag-mukhang epic sa picture!

I gleefully counted, "One... two... three!" Then, I made a fierce facial expression looking away from the camera.

When we were done, we thanked the photographer first before Ate Felize laughingly told him, "She's always that extra."

He cast an eye on me as he amusingly said, "Perfect for a model."

Napangiti na lang ako nang sobrang lapad at saka kinaway 'yong kamay ko bago siya umalis.

I am pleased, I must say. Yet, little did he know that I've been a model for years already.

Tumayo na ko sa kinatatayuan ko at saka napalingon kay Ate Felize sa likod. She's also looking at me with a big smile on her face.

Who would have thought that we can be this casual towards one another?

Kinindatan ko lang siya bago tinuon ang pansin kay Laurice.

She looks tensed while glancing at me but it seems like she wants to say something. I raised my eyebrow at her to nonverbally ask her why.

I was shocked when she nervously asked, "Can you stay overnight?"

My face instantly lightened and my heart skipped a beat because of happiness.

Gusto ko! Gustong-gusto ko. Miss na miss ko na kaya silang makasama sa iisang bubong!

Pero siyempre, hindi ko sure kung gan'on din ba 'yong feeling nila. Kung may mutual understanding ba kaming lahat. There's still a part in me that feels anxious on how to act and speak around them.

Oo, anxious pa ko sa lagay na 'to! Trust issues? O sadyang takot lang?

Though, Ate Felize acts nice towards me, hindi ko naman alam kung comfortable ba siya to have me around or not, especially mommy. Those are two different things kasi.

Kabado akong napalingon kay Ate Felize who gave me a hopeful smile. Wala sa sarili tuloy akong napangiti. I concluded that it was a sign of approval, so I shifted my gaze to daddy who gave me a thumbs up.

The last person I looked at was mommy. Umiwas siya agad ng tingin at mabilis na umalis.

I bit my lower lip because of her reaction but I have a hunch that she's not objecting. Because if she disapproves on something, she raises her voice and changes career into a rapper.

When I glanced back at Laurice, kabado ngunit masaya kong sambit, "Ihanda mo na ang mga tenga mo sa mga kwento ko!"

She beamed at me upon hearing that.

Napatayo siya kaagad at saka ako niyakap nang sobrang higpit. Halos ma-out of balance na nga ko dahil parang hinagis niya 'yong sarili niya sa 'kin. Good thing, kinaya ko naman 'yong bigat naming dalawa!

I saw how she got teary-eyed as I heard chuckles from Ate Felize and daddy.

Niyakap ko siya pabalik at saka hinagod ang likod niya.

Sobrang sarap sa pakiramdam to fully confirm na 'yong matagal ng kinakatakot ng puso ko, hindi naman pala dapat ikatakot. Dahil, duh! I am truly welcome in this house.

Parang ang laking tinik tuloy 'yong natanggal sa lalamunan ko. I know, this is just an overnight stay but I want to make a big deal out of it.

Gustong-gusto ko ngang maiyak dahil sa sobrang saya but I kept those tears with me. Pinaiyak na ko ni Eli kanina eh, bukas naman sila.

By schedule lang? Well, mahaba pila sa 'kin.

I unknowingly looked at Eli's direction while wearing a triumph smile. As soon as our gazes locked, he instantly smiled back at me as if he's telling me how happy he is for me.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

A year and a month ago, Laurice and I were also hugging each other. Tears were drastically flowing on our cheeks and sadness is an understatement to describe our emotions.

Now? We're also hugging each other but with overjoyed hearts. Excitement is running through my veins and it feels like I'm on cloud nine!

Binalik ko 'yong tingin ko kay Laurice at saka hinaplos ang buhok niyang naka-bun. Napa-pout lang ako nang may mapansin. "Tumangkad ka na naman?"

They all laughed because of that. Pero siyempre, sa loob-loob ko, natatawa rin ako. Drama-dramahan lang!

P'ano ba naman kasi, during my graduation, napansin ko na rin talagang tumangkad siya. Hanggang baba ko na nga siya n'on eh. Pero ngayon? We're the same height already!

Kahit sabihing naka-stiletto siya, tumangkad pa rin talaga siya.

I can't imagine her being the tallest in the family.

"You see," she proudly mumbled as she slightly distanced from me to look at my eyes. She smirked before she teased me, "Matatangkaran na kita."

It was already 11 in the evening when the house has been free of visitors.

Nag-usap lang kami kanina ni Eli and I was so excited when I told him that I will be staying the night here. He was so happy for me and he asked kung magpapasundo ba ko bukas.

Although I want to say no, dahil baka masyado siyang napagod ngayong araw, he assured me that he's fine. So, we decided that he will pick me up early tomorrow para makauwi muna ko sa townhouse at makaligo. Then, saka ako pupunta sa training.

I couldn't help but be grateful to him. He's really making ways to help me and show me how much he loves me. I can feel it... darating na kami sa point na I can finally tell him again my 'I love you'. Because truthfully, I am deeply in love with him.

Si Laurice naman, nakita kong kausap 'yong escort niyang si Jaxson. Gusto ko nga sanang mag-eavesdrop kaso bad 'yon! I gave them respect and privacy.

Meanwhile, my parents and Ate Felize were inside the house. Hindi ko alam kung anong pinagkakaabalahan nila. Pero sure ako na sine-settle na nila lahat ng 'business' na kailangang ma-settle.

Pagkapasok ko sa loob, may mga naglilinis pa sa kitchen at dining area. Bukas na raw kukunin 'yong mga gamit sa garden.

Dahil ayaw kong makagulo sa kanila, aakyat na lang sana ko sa taas para magpahinga sa pasilyo. However, it didn't happen nang makasalubong ko sina Ate Maricor, Ate Karen, Ate Anne, at Mang Nestor. They were crying a river when they saw me.

I learned upon meeting them that Ate Karen is already engaged! Ang bongga, 'di ba?

Medyo na-sad lang ako nang malamang aalis na pala siya rito sa bahay next week. Tinatapos niya na lang ang contract niya rito before she signs a contract with a company. Pero siyempre, "I'm glad that, after a long time, you can now follow your dreams," nakangiti at proud na proud kong sambit.

Hinaplos ko pa 'yong pisngi niya at saka pinunasan 'yong luhang tumutulo na naman.

"You've waited and worked hard for a long time para po maabot 'yong pangarap mo. 'Yong naudlot na pangarap," marahan kong sambit na bahagyang nagpatawa sa kanila.

She's been so consistent in telling me before how much she wanted to apply in that company. Now that it's here? She shouldn't waste the opportunity!

Hinawakan ko 'yong mga nanlalamig na kamay niya. Tinitigan ko siya sa mga mata at saka binigyan ng affiliative smile.

"Salamat!" naiiyak niyang saad. Halos mapiyok pa nga siya nang sabihin niyang, "Masaya akong nakilala kita. Ikaw pa rin ang paborito kong alaga."

I suddenly felt a lump on my throat upon hearing that. May mainit ding likido na nagbabadyang kumawala sa mga mata ko.

In fairness ah? Ang daming nagpapaiyak sa 'kin dito. Damang-dama ko 'yong longing, love, and care nila para sa 'kin.

Pinigilan ko lang 'yong luha ko dahil ayaw kong maging reason 'yon for her to feel guilty sa pag-alis niya. Because... she shouldn't.

Binuhos niya 'yong buhay niya sa 'min. She's like a big sister to me and a mother as well. On this day, she has to choose herself.

I stayed strong in front of them. Halo-halo 'yong nararamdaman ko ngayon.

Being someone's favorite has always been a big deal to me. Ang sarap kaya maging favorite! Pero siyempre, bidding goodbye is hard. Yet, I know, that through this, she can finally jump to another chapter of her life.

We spent more time together in the living room. Nag-chikahan lang sa mga naging ganap sa buhay from the past year.

Si Ate Anne, napagtapos niya na raw sa college 'yong kapatid niya. Then, Ate Karen invested on a sari-sari store for her parents. Tapos si Mang Nestor naman, nakapagpundar na ng lupa para sa pamilya niya.

They also told me na simula n'ong nawala ako rito sa bahay, naging tahimik na bawat sulok.

"So, sinasabi niyo po bang ako ang pasimuno ng ingay rito?" nagtatampo ngunit pabirong tanong ko sa kanila.

Tinawanan lang nila ko at saka nag-kwento ulit.

Sobrang dami talagang nangyari sa nagdaang taon. We all stumbled but we all chose to stood and continue fighting. It wasn't easy to live life and be happy but here we are, we managed to do so.

It was already past 12 when we decided to pull away. Magpapahinga na kasi sila at ako naman, nakita kong pumasok na si Laurice sa bahay.

Mabilis at nakangiti ko siyang nilapitan to cling on her arm. Hindi ko maintindihan 'yong halo-halong emosyong nasa mga mata niya but sadness was clearly written on it.

Although I wanted to ask what happened, I chose to zip my mouth and ask about the overnight thing.

We walked towards the stairs side-by-side. I was almost jumping out of joy while thinking about the activities we can do.

May through this, we can already fix and talk about things. May through this, I can be a source of happiness to her... right now that she seemed to need me.

Ngiting-ngiti kong tanong, "Ano kayang gagawin natin? Movie night? Sa kwarto mo?"

Nilingon ko siya sandali only to see her frown at the last thing I mentioned. I giggled upon seeing that before I got back my eyes in front as we started taking steps on the staircase.

"'Di ko pa kasi na-try matulog sa kwarto mo. Baka lang naman..." I told her with a hint of great desire in my tone.

Yet, she looked adamant about it. Kaya nag-isip na lang ulit ako sandali.

When great ideas came to my mind, masayang nag-suggest agad ako, "Camping? Stargazing?"

Napahinto siya sa paglalakad at saka niya ako kinunutan ng noo. Kumawala ako sa pagkakahawak sa kaniya para tignan siya nang maigi.

Mukhang mapapalaban ako rito. It has never been easy to persuade her.

"Kailangan ba talaga 'yon?" nag-aalinlangan niyang tanong. "We can just talk the night out," she recommended with her eyes looking uneasy.

Napairap naman ako at saka nag-cross arms.

Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko pabalik sa kaniya, "Ano namang gusto mo? Usap-usap lang? O para may thrill, mag-video games tayong tatlo habang nagchi-chikahan?"

She raised her hands, conceding defeat. "Okay," she uttered. Then, she put down her hands. Habang ako, napapalakpak agad nang marinig 'yon.

I can't seriously wait to spend the night with them! We've never done this kind of thing before kaya lalo akong nae-excite.

Her voice sounded a little drowsy when she continued, "Don't include me on the prep. I'm tired."

Tinanguan ko lang siya bilang sagot bago kami nagpatuloy na umakyat sa taas.

Putting aside my excitement, I'm actually worried about Laurice. It's her birthday. Sino namang nagpalungkot sa kaniya? 'Yong Jaxson ba?!

Kalma, Elise. Baka pagod lang talaga. Pero whatever it is, gusto kong gumaan ang dala-dala niya.

Tinignan ko siya mula sa gilid ko. Wala naman siyang dala-dala.

That's just a joke!

Seriously speaking, I want to let her know that we're just here for her. Hindi ako nangingialam ah!

Naniniwala lang kasi akong there's sadness na kailangang iiyak para gumaan ang pakiramdam. Mayr'on ding kailangan na lang itulog tapos, kinabukasan okay na.

At may sadness na kailangan ng pera para sumaya. Who said that money can't buy happiness? Pero... wala ako n'on. Walang extra money. Kaya r'on tayo sa last option— some sadness can be brushed off by being accompanied. Kaya ayon ang gagawin namin!

When we reached the second floor, nakasalubong namin si Ate Felize. Sinabi ko sa kanila lahat ng suggestions ko na pwede naming gawin.

In the end, we all agreed to do stargazing. At sobrang excited ako! Napatili-tili pa nga ko sa sobrang saya eh.

Opposite to what Laurice stated beforehand, she helped Ate Felize and me with the preparation. Walang namilit sa kaniya ah! She suddenly became interested when Ate Felize told us that we can eat all the food we want tonight.

Pero... bawal magsumbong kina mommy at daddy.

Kami ni Ate Felize 'yong kumuha ng dalawang air mattresses sa stockroom. Pinahanginan na rin namin 'yon using the electric air bed pump.

May gamit na nga kami, natagalan pa rin kaming matapos 'yon. Ang hirap pala!

Isa-isa naming binaba 'yong air mattresses sa backyard. Nang matapos, pinagdikit namin 'yon; both were facing six o'clock.

When Laurice made her way here, nilagay niya kaagad 'yong chocolates, junk food, and bottles of water sa mattress. Afterward, she came back inside the house to get pillows and comforters.

Umupo na sa gitna si Ate Felize pagkatanggal ng flats niya. Tinanggal ko na rin 'yong stiletto ko at saka tumalon papunta sa mattress. Damang-dama ko 'yong lamig nang bahagyang umangat 'yong dress ko habang nasa ere ako.

I was all smiles when I finally landed there that caused the food to fly into the air.

"Elise!" tili ni Ate Felize na sobrang ikinatawa ko.

It was the first time for me to hear her shriek; it was so satisfying.

I was laughing my heart out when I rolled over onto my tummy. My arms were kind of long so it was easy for me to grab the food that fell on the grass just right beside me.

"Pinakaba mo ko, Elise!" gulat at pasigaw niyang saad.

I rolled over to my left to face her with a smile on my face.

However, I suddenly got worried when I saw that she's gasping for air while her eyes are wide awake.

"Ate?" nag-aalala kong tanong at saka bumangon.

I quickly grabbed the bottle of water for her to drink, my hands almost shaking.

"Sorry," kinakabahan na natataranta kong saad at saka napakagat sa ibaba kong labi.

What did I do to her? Hindi ko alam. Hindi ko talaga alam. Wala naman kasi kaming sakit sa puso. What could it be then?

"Kinabahan lang ako," she mumbled when she calmed down. Yet, it didn't help to calm down my racing heart.

Kinuha niya na sa 'kin 'yong bottle at saka uminom.

I was so apologetic that I can't move from my place.

Should I say sorry again? Should I hug her?

Nang matapos siya uminom, napansin niya atang tahimik ako kaya kaagad niya kong tinapik sa braso.

She was smiling when she assured me, "I'm fine, okay?"

Nag-aalala ko siyang tinignan nang humiga na siya. She looks better now and it seems like nothing happened.

Nakahinga na ko nang maluwag dahil sa nakita.

When Laurice came back, isang comforter lang ang dala niya at dalawang long pillow.

Binigay niya sa 'min ni Ate Felize 'yong isa tapos nasa kaniya 'yong isa pang unan. As for the comforter, pinatong niya 'yon kay ate.

"Oh?" nagtataka kong tanong nang makaupo na siya sa left side ni Ate Felize; she was removing her stiletto. "'Yan lang? Ang tagal mo tapos 'yan lang?" hindi makapaniwala kong tanong.

She looked at me as she snorted. "Bakit ka nagrereklamo? Dapat ikaw ang kumuha."

Wala na kong nagawa kundi ang magpatalo. Because she has a point. At nakakatamad pumasok sa bahay para lang kumuha ng unan kung gusto ko ng sarili. Mahaba naman 'to. Okay na rin.

Inayos na namin 'yong mga unan at saka humiga. Ate Felize in the middle with me from the left and Laurice from her right side.

Medyo siniksik ko pa 'yong sarili ko kay Ate Felize para mas mabahagian ng comforter.

It's already wee hours. Although I'm wearing a maxi dress with sleeves, I can still feel the cold wind blowing in the air, hitting my skin that wasn't covered by the mattress.

Napayakap ako sa sarili at saka tumitig sa langit. There are only few stars that can be seen right now but the full moon is so noticeable because of its bright light.

The clouds scattered in the sky, probably covering most of the stars that I'm looking for. Or maybe, I can't see a lot of it because the metro is already polluted?

Mapait akong napangiti. If and only if humans have become more concerned to our environment, we can still enjoy its benefits to the fullest. Pati next generations sana.

Napatingin ako sa gawi nina Ate Felize at Laurice. It wasn't just me who's staring in the sky but also them. At napansin ko ring hindi lang pala ako ang hindi nagpalit ng damit.

Wala naman kasi akong pamalit na dala! Hindi ako informed. Biglaan ang pa-overnight ni debutante.

While looking straight to Laurice, I praised her in a low tone of voice, "You're the most beautiful woman tonight, Laurice."

Agad siyang napatingin sa 'kin at saka napakunot. "My birthday's over, you can be honest, you know."

I instantly giggled upon hearing that.

This woman. Why can't she accept that she's beautiful? No one's ugly though.

Umayos ako ng pwesto patagilid at saka dumampot ng chichirya. I hurled it to her direction but I failed— nasalo niya.

Napa-pout tuloy ako bigla.

I earnestly told her, "Seryoso kaya ako." I saw how the corner of her lips arcked when I reassured her, "You standout, for real!"

"Mas maganda pa sa 'yo?" pang-aasar ni Ate Felize na ikinangisi ko.

Ba't ba ayaw nilang maniwala? I never fake a compliment just to make somebody else happy. That's not my cup of tea.

Mabilis kong sagot, "Oo naman!" Binalik ko 'yong tingin ko kay Laurice with both of my eyebrows raising. "Maganda ka naman talaga. Mana ka sa 'kin eh!"

They both laughed a little that fluttered my heart.

I knew it— Laurice needs to unwind to take away that sadness that I saw in her eyes a while ago. I'm glad that in my own little ways, I was able to be of help to her.

I rolled over onto my back as we all stared in the sky again.

"Thanks," Laurice was kind of shy when she uttered that.

Palihim akong napangiti habang nakatitig pa rin sa langit.

Although I wanted to tease her, I kept quiet. Like what I want to happen, dapat mapasaya namin siya.

After a few seconds, she mumbled something again and I can detect a surprise tone in her voice, "You know what, Elise, I thought you'd come in my debut with your OOTD."

Napaangat 'yong kanang kilay ko at saka tumagilid ulit. I jokingly retorted, "Grabe ka sa 'kin ah!"

Pareho silang napatawa habang napa-pout na lang ako.

Well, sorry sa kaniya, the Elise of 2024 won't do that kind of immature thing.

Sinandal ko 'yong siko ko sa unan at saka pinatong 'yong ulo ko sa palad ko.

I was intently looking at the both of them when I revealed, "Speaking of OOTD, nabenta ko na 'yong iba kong mga damit. Most of them, actually."

Somehow, nakakalungkot maalala 'yong bagay na 'yon but I'm proud of myself for being brave to do that. Like I've said before, kailangan talagang i-let go to survive. Those fancy things can be replaced anyway.

At saka, I don't need to look lavish and classy, when in fact, I'm struggling to sustain myself. Maganda ako sa paningin ko at may nakakain ako sa araw-araw, period.

Opposite to what I've expected, neither Ate Felize nor Laurice laughed or get shocked.

Pinanliitan ko sila ng mga mata nang hindi pa rin sila kumibo. Nakatitig lang kasi silang pareho sa langit.

Hindi makapaniwala kong tanong, "Wala man lang ba kayong reaction?" Sounds demanding? Yes.

Ate Felize looked at me by tilting her head a little to my side.

Kalmado at confident niyang saad, "We knew." I was dumbfounded for a second or two upon hearing that. She added, "We saw your posts online and I shared them with my friends."

Tuluyan na kong napanganga dahil sa gulat. Hindi ko alam kung paano magre-react but I was able to ask, "True ba?" Naiintriga ko pang tanong. "Bumili ba sila?"

Medyo gumalaw 'yong mattress nang abutin ni Laurice 'yong chocolates. Upon laying her hands on those sweets, she started munching them.

Nabalik 'yong atensyon ko kay Ate Felize nang nakangiti siyang sumagot, "Oo."

In an instant, I smiled from ear to ear.

Sobrang saya ng puso ko nang malaman 'yon! Pero mas masaya ako to know that they care for me. Kahit wala akong kaalam-alam, they helped me.

Hindi ko alam pero sobrang nakaka-touch na n'ong mga panahong naghihirap pala ko, they were actually there supporting me. Mas lalo tuloy gumagaan 'yong loob ko kay Ate Felize.

Although I still have a lot of questions for her, I don't want to shock her either way. Ayaw ko namang maging uncomfortable siya sa mga itatanong ko.

I sincerely mumbled, "Thank you."

Umayos na ulit ako ng higa at saka tumitig sa langit— at ease and happy. Inayos ko na rin 'yong comforter nang maramdamang wala ng taklob 'yong mga paa ko.

I was freeing my mind when, out of the blue, Ate Felize apologetically uttered, "I'm so sorry for being a failed sister."

Automatically, my heart skipped a beat upon hearing that. Parang nahigit 'yong hininga ko.

Mabilis akong napalingon sa kaniya only to see her face reflecting pain and remorse. Parang pinipiga 'yong puso ko dahil sa nakikita ko.

Kinakabahan ako na natatakot na hindi ko alam. I have a hunch where she's coming from and to where this conversation will lead us. Somehow, I feel scared to talk things out. I thought I'm already well prepared for this but I guess, I was wrong.

Laurice is now gazing at her as well. Both of our faces are getting more worried as seconds passed by.

We saw how teardrops escaped Ate Felize's eyes and right on cue, my heart get more gashed than it is already.