Hi guys! I'm @Blazestorm, here to introduce a new little segment of the magazine. This is called the Ad portion of our magazine.

One day I was thinking- you know what you find in newspapers and some magazines? Ad's that advertise job positions, people, and products. Then I thought. There are a bunch of different positions in Warriors, right? WindClan had tunnelers and normal apprentice roles, the Tribes have prey-hunters and cave-guards. Wouldn't it be funny to see those roles advertised as if in a TV commercial, spoken to the little kits as they try to choose what they will do for the rest of their lives? I thought so. Here is the result.

I'm putting a little warning- this is a satirical piece meant as a joke. It isn't meant to take seriously, and if anycat takes offense to anything, tell me and I'll change it. Besides that, however, I hope you enjoy my little experiments!

~Blaze

The Tunneler Ad

Are you conflicted because you have too many important decisions to make about the rest of your life? Tired of having to decide between one role and another? It's time for you to sit back, listen to the plus-side, and make your life-changing decision on the spot!

We all know that WindClan cats are known for their trademark ability to Run!TM, but You, little WindClan apprentice, can be even more than that! Who needs the open skies and hilly moors when you can be even cooler?

Come join us, the Tunnelers, today! We're the elite, completely secret co-op group of WindClan. Sneak through the territory and under the paws of your enemies using the tunnel system conveniently located under every Clan's territory! Travel beneath your unknowing Clanmates feet and pop out to scare the StarClan out of them!

As a Tunneler, you learn elite skills known to no other Clan. This includes:

A. Tunneling! (or Strategic Digging)

B. The knowledge of how to fix a leak! (And why to not tunnel near a water source)

C. How and Why to NOT hunt underground! ( It's 20% cooler than normal hunting!)

D. A really good memory! (To remember the extremely complicated and confusing turns, twists, and forks of the tunnels!)

E. The Peeta Mellark Cake-Frosting Ability! (OR The ability to skillfully hide the entrance of the tunnels with bracken and grass)

F. How to leave a clear scent trail (To find your way out of the tunnels)

G. The respect and Fear from your Clanmates and other Clans (or, well, you know. IF they actually knew you were a tunneler...)

Unfortunate Side Affects to being a Tunneler May Include:

A. Reduction of day vision

B. Clumsy movement aboveground

C. Agoraphobia (or fear of open spaces; the opposite of claustrophobia)

D. Lack of social skills

E. The unfortunate familiarity with underground rather than aboveground

F. Irriversable possibliity of dangerous injuries.

G. Death. (We are not liable for your death. You sign up and sign the contract, and we can't be sued or fined.)