Hello my fellow Warrior cats! I was so pleased to see that you all liked my first Warriors Advertisement. I see that I did my job properly, as many of you are MUCH eager to become Tunnelers after that ad. (Turns to Tigerheart *I want my raise!*) So after much lobbying from friends and fans, I'm pleased to present the second of what I hope to be a long and hilarious session within our magazines!

Please note that if you have any ideas for ad's you can comment them below or pm me with your thoughts. I would love to write our what you're thinking, and I love it when you guys get involved!

~Blazestorm

The Moor Runner Ad

So you want to be a Moor Runner, eh? You think you've got the guts, speed, annoying personality, and social skill to become a Moor Runner? You think you'd serve WindClan best out in the open skies, lounging about while the Tunnelers do all the work?

*Gruff gray-pelted tabby tom with pipe sticking out of his mouth stares down at you from his pedestal*

Well! Come aboard! We always welcome new folk around here! All you have to do is read this contract....

Wait! You! Apprentice with the brown pelt! Yes you with the dopey eyes. Read the contract first! Don't just sign all the blank lines. Don't you realize you're selling your life away like this?

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What do you mean you signed the other contract as well? I specifically told that mouse-brained she-cat to not give you cats anything to sign with until-

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You signed it in dirt? Why?

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I do NOT get paid enough for this! Well, fine! If you won't read it, I'll just have to dictate it to you.

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That mean's I'll read it to you! Don't you go to school? OH right, you guys just magically learn everything and increase your vocabulary by lying in the sun. Just sit down then, and try to let it soak into your head.

What the job entails:

A. Walking around the territory

B. Strolling along the borders

C. Frolicking through the flowers

D. Padding through the territory

E. Occasionally running through the territory

F. Sometimes trotting

G. Often slinking

H. Sometimes Strutting

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What? Yes that what they do! Haven't you seen WindClan cats? They walk around alot! I'm not exagerating this- all they are shown doing is running or walking over the territory. It's in the job description! Besides, you wouldn't believe how long it takes to get that kind of stamina. Of course, they get to rest all the time because of article.... article J.

J. Enjoy the sunlight by sunbathing 24/7 when not on patrol or hunting

Of course there are a lot of other things a WindClan Moor Runner must be able to do.

K. Be able to sit on a rock and stare at grass all day and night (Because of course, their night watch consists of actually looking at the entirety of their territory, which is apparently visible from a very conveniently located rock at the cusp of their camp)

L. Be able to stand living with no trees on your territory (Do they get sunburns in Greenleaf from the lack of shade? The world may never know...)

M. Eat Rabbits. Always. ( Apparently Variety is not the spice of life unless you are starving in the middle of leaf-bare.)

N. Being oddly suspicious of every cat that is not part of your own Clan. (Because when something bad happens, it can't possibly be your fault)

O. Getting a very thin, lean body (Any cat longing to become thin will never worry about getting fat. You work off all those calories by catching your extremely fast prey before eating it!)

Hey Apprentice! Sit still! I'm not done. I still have to read the Warnings.

We are not responsible for these strange but entirely possible side effects:

A. Being Breezepelt (No explanation needed. Crowfeathers apply as well.)

B. Becoming addicted to rabbit (I know we said that's all they eat, but really, they enjoy it. So it must be something in the meat)

C. Getting really tired (from all the running)

D. Agoraphobia (fear of open spaces. Imaging seeing the sky all the time without anything to block it. The stars are a vast expanse of nothingness if you look at them the wrong way)

E. Your too-thin body (It's great to be thin, but when you're starving in leaf-bare and your prey is fast, you go hungry. A lot.)

F. Also Death (Fighting aboveground means you face more enemies head-on. You can prove your fighting skills, but lets face it, your emaciated body is no match for the fatty RiverClan cats)

So Little apprentices, I want you to think carefully about everything in the contract and sign carefu-

Great! Ok! All of you signed already! OH boy. The Tunneler Authorities are going to string me up...