Tales of a Pirate Crew by
SamSchloesing

The night was as black as a stack of black sacks filled with black cats. But the harbour was brightly lit, countless torches illuminating the merchandise, cargo, workmen and general frenzy of activity in that area. From the corner of the steep alley where he stood, Rainer overlooked the scene. His eyes fell lovingly on the sleek contours of the Sabine of the Seas, which was moored to one of the piers.

Not being built for tonnage and volume, his beloved ship wasn't the largest in sight, but her sleek hull and intricate framework of strong masts, spars and derricks made her by far the fastest. Fast enough to dance circles around any of the clumsy pirate vessels haunting the seven seas. Fast enough to protect her exclusive cargo. Rainer specialized in the transport of unusual items, items of such value that safe arrival was of more importance than the mere price of transport.

Rainer's eyes wandered on, towards some of the more dimly lit piers, and fell on the Lady Lesya. Her captain was a certain Mr. Desjours, reputed to be one of the more unconventional pirates in this area.

Discarding such uncomfortable thoughts with a shrug, he turned his back on the scene and continued ascending the alley. Whenever he was in this port, his exquisite two-person bookclub held a meeting, and he would be loath to miss it.

It was not long before he reached the small tavern with the inviting sign of a hanged pirate over its door. He entered, and seeing his most favourite stool at the bar was empty, he took a seat. Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved a leather bound volume and gently deposited it on the polished countertop before him.

The barmaid had not seen him yet. She was busy washing glasses, an activity involving their brief dipping into a sink filled with an ominous, brownish liquid, followed by their upside-down deposition in a dish rack of some sorts for drying.

"Hey, wench!" Rainer said, with a grin on his face. "Where's my rum?"

She turned, the snarl on her lips replaced by a smile when she saw him. "Where've you been, Salty Dog? I was starting to think you'd left us for Davy Jones."

She wiped her hands on her grimy apron and leaned down, her rotund body disappearing under the bar. A single hand reappeared and slapped an unlabelled bottle of dark liquid on the scratched wood, then retracted again. "The good stuff," her voice informed from the bowels of the dark wood below. She pulled two of the just-washed glasses from the rack, and Rainer pulled a face. They stank. Hopefully the alcohol she slopped into them was strong enough to act as an antiseptic.

"So this is it." she studied the leather bound volume on the bar. "Tales of a Pirate Crew. I'll give it a read."

She disappeared into a backroom, only to emerge a few minutes later.

1) Story: Did we like it? Did it draw us in? Was it believable? Did it bore us? What did we think of its plot?

"That was fast," Rainer commented as Emma dropped the now-completed book back on the bar. The slap of the weighty tome hitting the wood made the candles flicker.

"You know us Puerto Seguro girls." She raised an eyebrow. "We're known for being fast. I liked the story though. It's interesting, and I am left wanting to know what the shipmates', and especially Cap's, fate will be. The multi-point POV gives the sense of disparate threads all forming part of a tapestry, which makes you want to read on to see how they will tie together, so it definitely didn't bore me. However, I do think there is an issue with the... um... the... that is to say..."

Her eyes roamed, fixing on what seemed like every point in the room, except the space at the end of Rainer's left sleeve.

"You can spit it out," he growled, lifting what should have been a hand to scratch the corner of his left eye.

"The hook," she finished, her eyes glued to it now. "I think psychologically, a reader - well, me - needs a protagonist to identify with to be truly sucked into a story, rather than watching it from a distance. Even in books with multiple POVs, there will always be that primary protagonist in mind, where you're thinking all the time, 'but how does that affect him?'. In this book, it's Cap. He has the most interesting role, the most mysterious and engaging and emotionally rich back story, he's the nucleus around which all the others coalesce. But that wasn't clear to me until..." She picks up the book, begins to flick through. "Chapter 18. Eighteen chapters before I'm really allowed into someone's skin. Eighteen chapters before that psychological link is really allowed to draw me in. Granted, the chapters are short, but still... If this were an actual, physical book, spine bent on my nightstand, this might be less of an issue, but here on Wattpad it's so easy to sink to the bottom of someone's library if you've not got that really strong hook to keep ratcheting yourself back up."

Emma exhaled, obviously exhausted by her monologue, and lifted her glass, emptying it in one go. She nodded at Rainer to do the same, one eye on the glinting metal of his ghoulish replacement hand.

"It's not a hook, by the way," he said. "It's a brass hand. Much more sophisticated than a mere hook."

"But, apart from that," he continued, "I agree with you. I'll come back to the question of relatable characters when I'll talk about the ... characters.

"Now, did it draw me in? The first three short chapters introduce about ten characters, which is hard on the reader. If you read it in one go (which is definitely recommended) then you'll probably be fine. But you may get lost if you take a longer break between the chapters or don't have a good memory for characters.

"Apart from that, the story did draw me in. It's not typical Wattpad material, not about young female heroines (even though there are some of them, too), not a typical fantasy story (even though there are some fantasy aspects making their way into the plot), and it's not even a stereotype pirate story. It's refreshingly unique."

2) Characters: Are your characters plausible, tangible, and relatable? How do they grow and change? Did they work out for us?

Rainer took a swig from the glass parked before him, and grimaced. Yes, that was definitely antiseptic.

"The characters of the book are enigmatic, at least up to the end of the first 38 chapters that had been published when I read it. But don't get me wrong. It's not a bad type of enigmatic, in the sense of confusing. Rather, it's the mysterious type. The characters' motives, facets, and perks are revealed slowly, keeping the reader curious. This is particularly true for the main characters."

He lifted the glass again, not for drinking this time, but just out of appreciation for its pondering presence. Rainer was usually not into spirits—he'd seen too many sailors, and their noses, destroyed that way—but the home-stilled firewater served in this particular tavern was always worth the risk.

With a shake of his head, he turned back to the topic of characters. "The mysterious characters and the way they are solidified slowly ... all of this add to the uniqueness of the story, and to its tension. However, this type of storytelling does have its pitfalls, and I assume that the author is fully aware of them. But I still want to name them, as a word of warning to anyone trying to imitate that style of writing." He took a swig.

"For one, the characters are a bit difficult to relate to. As you mentioned before. I never really felt deeply for anyone of them, never got attached to anyone of them. Rather, I mistrusted the whole crew, suspecting hidden motives and dark niches in all of them. This added to the suspense, of course. However, if you love to place yourself into a character, to care for it dearly, so suffer with it, and to follow its every step as if it were your own, this book might not be what you're looking for." Unable to resist, he took another gulp.

"Since there are many characters in the book, keeping track of how they evolve is a bit of a challenge. Reading the story requires a certain amount of concentration. Reading it in one go probably helps, or taking notes—which I do, when I am doing a critique."

Rainer looked at Emma, expectantly, because he knew she was good at characters.

"As I said before, for me, the link was with Cap," she said as she replenished their glasses from the unlabelled bottle. "He's the one I cared for most. I loved his backstory, and wanted him to break... Anyway, no spoilers. But I do concur with you, Rainer. I think the book could be improved by accepting the reader's weakness for a protagonist, and facilitating that protagonist relationship, fleshing out—or at least hinting at—Cap's interior landscape, his desires and fears—earlier."

3) Feelings: How does your story feel?

"I love the atmosphere of the book," Emma said. "And I especially loved how the different POV's all felt different, but fitted together to make this rich whole, a complex yet cohesive universe."

"For me," Rainer said, "the story felt funny, mysterious, and full of tension. As I said, on the other hand, I never had a strong emotional tie to any of its characters, which did have an impact on the depth of some of these feelings."

4) Pacing: are there any parts of your book that feel slow, or rushed, or superfluous to the movement of the story?

Rainer fondly handled the leather-bound book in front of him. "Pacing is one of the strengths of this book. Its short chapters carry the reader along, keeping him alert, and I never had the feeling that the plot advanced too quickly, or too slowly."

Placing the book down on the counter again, he tried, not for the first time, to rub off the bluish smudge marring the beauty of its leather skin while he waited for Emma's opinion.

"I agree." Emma nods. "Although there was one chapter..." She pushes Rainer's hand away so she can open the book. "23 – 25. That was one chapter. Why? It confused me and felt too rushed. I'd like those to be chapters in their own right, even if they're short. Oh, and like Rainer said to some sailor we had in here the other night, selling tinder and gunpowder - get rid of those irrelevant announcements, for sure."

5) Spelling & grammar: What's our impression of your spelling and your grammar? Here we will not address individual issues but give a general assessment.

"There were a few typos and tiny grammar issues, but nothing to mar my enjoyment of the story." Emma shrugged. She downed and refilled her drink again, then added a similar amount to Rainer's glass, which made it full to the brim. He took it and sipped an inch of liquid off the top.

"Yep." He nods. "Spelling and grammar, and in general the style of writing, are outstanding. There's a number of minor typos, in particular in the later chapters, but they don't spoil the fun."

6) Suggestions: Do we have any suggestions for improving the book?

For a moment, Rainer felt the stool below him sway gently, like his ship when carried by the trade wind across a fine sea. But since this tavern was on firm ground, he concluded that it must be the alcohol having made its way into his head.

"Improving the book may not be easy," he said. "The one major challenge the reader has to face is the number of characters that are being introduced, and it can be a bit hard to keep track of them. But, on the other hand, the story lives, in part, from this number of different personalities and from their interaction. So I guess that it's not easy to change anything there.

"At most, the author might consider giving the reader some more help, sometimes, by reducing some of the 'riddles' that are not required by the plot. For example, there's a figure being led into the headquarters, in Chapter 38, and I guess we have seen that figure before, but Chapter 38 is not clear about this. Making it clearer if that figure is the one we met before would reduce the reader's burden, but of course at the cost of suspense. So, in the end, there's nothing really wrong about how it is, and it is up to the author to find his way between complexity and ease of read."

"I know what you mean about the chapter 38," Emma responded. "And I have far more specific suggestions for what I'd like to see. Which is Cap. I like the multi-vocal style, and I like it even better with the unifying thread of him as my true protagonist. Which means there can be chapters and chapters where he's not mentioned, but I'm always going to be wondering what all these activities mean for him, as well as the other actors. His fate is the horizon my eyes are fixed on as I dance around these disparate stories, so I'd like to see his soul earlier. And where new or mysterious people are introduced—like in chapter thirty eight—I'd like to see the tiniest link—however small or irrelevant—to the ongoing stories, be that walking past a street corner they've previously mentioned, thinking of a character they've met... Then I can believe it will in time be woven into the wide, messy, brilliant narrative of cause-and-effect that is life, and this book."

Rainer was silent for a moment, mulling over the beauty of the last one of Emma's sentences. It reminded him of the rich fragrance of the liquid in the glass before him.

Then he lifts his eyebrows. "I wonder why you keep mentioning that Cap again and again."

7) Highlights: What did we enjoy most?

"I liked the multiple POV's," Emma said. "The most challenging and most special aspect of this book. The author writes women pretty well, too. I like the environment and setting, but at the moment it's a bit too landlubbery to be a true pirate tale—I hope they hit the marine world of the high seas soon."

Rainer nods, thinking of his ship waiting for him down in the harbour. "I adored the variegated ambience in the different scenes," he says, "some of them beautiful, some of them sinister, some of them gory, some of them mysterious. For example, there's a dark scene in an alley, around chapter 13, followed by a wonderful depiction of early morning in the next."

8) Audience: Who do we think would most enjoy this book, and why?

With a certain sense of disappointment, Rainer noted that he stared at the empty bottom of his glass, and the bottle was similarly vacant. He briefly considered asking if there was another one hidden down there but decided against it. Even though the city was patrolled by guards wearing strange hats, some of its alleys were dark and should be navigated in straight and not in meandering lines.

"In view of the compeggs..." he started, failed, and tried again, "In view of the complexity of the story, I think it is for the serious reader, someone who likes to give a book his full attention. And, obveesly ... obviously, it is on the gory side, so the reader must be able and willing to face that."

Unwilling to risk further tongue lapses, he glanced at Emma, waiting for her to continue.

"Yes. This is a mature book, and not in the sense that an X-rated Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson slashfic is mature. I mean, a little like that." She wipes the beads of sweat gathering in her cleavage. It was a sticky night in Puerto Seguro. "But not really. It's demanding of the reader. You have to keep a lot of threads in place in your head, and trust the author not to shaft you by failing to tie them together in a big satisfactory bow at the end. Which I'm sure he will. I hope." The last two words were quiet. She stuck out her bottom lip and shrugged at Rainer, gathered the empty glasses and turned to dump them in her opaque brown water.

Rainer clambered down from his stool, steadying himself against the bar with his brass left hand. He grabbed the book with his right, missing it only once, and slid it into his pocket.

"Looking forward to next time," he said and gave Emma a wink.

He turned slowly, headed for the exit, nearly missing it, and vanished into the balmy subtropical night outside.

"Are you done yet?" A gruff voice barked from upstairs. "I'm waiting. And bring some of that rum."

"Coming Cap," Emma called back. She bent and slipped another unlabelled bottle from beneath the bar. "I did what you asked. I hope you're pleased."

She lifted her apron, dipped a corner in the dirty dish-water, and mopped her armpits with the now-sodden rag. Clutching two glasses and a bottle, she blew out the candles. The wooden stairs creaked as her fat body rose up into the blackness.