The Sands of Rhun: A Middle Earth Story (Book 2)
by GerithorDunedain
Fanfiction

***THIS IS A REVIEW OF A COMPLETED BOOK. THERE MAY BE SPOILERS FOR THE PLOT***

Cover
10/10

I'd give this Best Cover Award. Amazing filter, blend, etc. Even the sticker somehow complements the gold-burgundy scheme with a touch of colour.

Summary
8/10

First impression: I like your summary. Like it a lot. It informs and intrigues, and quite fluidly at that! One minor change I would suggest is to change the tense in the second part of the third sentence. Instead of "he has had to fight just to stay alive", I think you could streamline it with "he has to fight just to stay alive".

Second impression: Okay, putting my foreknowledge of the plot into this. I'm wondering who the "someone" is. Layala? Or Caledorn? Layala cared about him, but he didn't seem to realize he was meant for more than war before Caledorn. So maybe that sentence needs some kind of tweaking. Still, I love the ending of that paragraph. Don't change that if you can help it XD

General grammar
7.5/10

You're one of those authors whose storytelling skill is so good that I can just skim past all the grammar errors. But for the review... sigh... I have to read with a critical eye.

I'm aware that you wrote this over a year ago, and your skills have advanced since then, but since I'm not exactly sure where you are on a scale of 1-10, I'll just point out a few things XD

First, two independent clauses are joined not by a comma but by a semicolon. "Anna looked out the window, she wanted to go outside" is incorrect, because both clauses could be complete sentences by themselves. It should be, "Anna looked out the window; she wanted to go outside."

Second, when someone is addressed in speech, the name, nickname, or title should be set off with a comma. "He is not here, my king."

Other than that, the errors I saw were inconsistent and most likely typos/poor editing. Good job!

And one final nit-picky thing... although this is commonly accepted now, I do not consider "alright" to be a word. It annoys me to no end. However, I'm not taking points off for that because these days everyone seems to think it's a word. *scowls* I'll use "all right" to the end of my days.

Enough ranting... this is not a rant book. I'm so sorry. XD

Language Usage
8/10

As I mentioned above, you have excellent storytelling skills. Like several other people I've come across on here, you have the ability to weave a captivating story regardless of the occasional spelling/punctuation error -- something which I can honestly appreciate(and try not to envy!). I have no real complaints to make in this area. Your vocabulary and style reflect a life spent reading good books -- and it's a pleasure to read.

Plot
9/10

This is just one of those books where I could gush over the plot forever. Thank you, Gerithor, for delving into cultures that are so little touched upon and bringing them to light, breathing life into them and setting them before our eyes! In my head, this book is canon. It feels that real. Your inclusion of all sorts of people, from Denethor and his sons to Galadriel, to the Mouth of Sauron himself (oh, I LOVED his interactions with Caledorn!) was just fantastic and nothing felt forced or weird.

There is a reality to your books that is profound without being gritty or nasty, which more than anything points to Tolkien's influence on your writing. From the beginning where Rukil finds himself a tough fighter, broken inside, to the end where he rises as a mature young man, tempered with sorrow, this is a truly touching and uplifting tale.

Pacing
8/10

This book is very well conceived and put together. I felt like there was a spot or two where it dragged, and it was hard to focus on what was going on, like the first few chapters with Rukil and Layala getting moved from place to place, and some way further on when they were going through Khand. Other than that, all's well.

Characters
10/10

I'm going to fangirl now.

AHHHH my goodness how are they so vivid? How are they so incredibly unique, diverse, and believable? Rukil is introspective, thoughtful, harder and more bitter than he ought to be for one so young, yet he grows through it in the end. Layala is almost too sweet to be true, which could have actually been a plot hole... but because she died, she advanced the plot and conflict in even better ways than it would have been otherwise. Hadar, oh, he's so funny and loyal, and sometimes rather -- er -- stupid...

As for your canon characters, you paint them just as well. You really show them as though they had sprung out of the pages of Tolkien's work.

And.

Caledorn.

Gerithor, how could you? You know all I want to do is write CALEDORN in caps all over this page and let the ink run down in insane dribbles... how am I supposed to describe CALEDORN in a way that is anything close to coherent?!

Caledorn -- is amazing. And not because he's an elf, but because he's a darker elf. A withdrawn and sometimes bitter person who yet holds control over himself and is not wholly darkened. He is enigmatic, humourous, quiet, yet loves to make "Le dramatic entrance"... Caledorn, as you have said, is in a sense the overarching main character of your series, and I love him to pieces.

Overall
8.5/10

- Cover rating
8/10

This is one of the stories that truly touches me and makes me want to cry, laugh, and *cough* fangirl. Could use minor editing, but I couldn't care less actually... excuse me, I need to go reread this entire thing again.

Read this book if you haven't yet. It needs to reach the skies.