Dear ordinary readers: sorry for the overload of LotR fanfiction and suggestions.

Dear fellow LotR fans: Y'all are conspiring against me to force me to review my favourite books. How dare you. XD

Alfýkin
by Illeandir
Fanfiction

Cover
7/10

Ehhh... too many fonts in my opinion. Not a big issue though.

Summary
5/10

A few tiny bones to pick here in the area of punctuation; I believe the colon after the first "Illeandir" should be a comma. There's a typo of pursued in the second-to-last paragraph as well.

Those aside, I think the main issue with the summary is that its last three paragraphs could be condensed into two. Also, I don't know how long ago you wrote it but given what I know of the plot, it seems to me that the summary could probably use a general rewrite. It focuses attention mostly on events that are either prior to the story or towards the beginning of the story, rather than centering around the main drive.

Plot
9.5/10

This plot is amazing, and it took me thirty-some chapters and a re-read to see it. I think the main reason is that Illeandir's writing has made vast strides since her commencement of this book, and when I originally started reading it was hard to discern the general scope of where the storyline was heading. A secondary reason is skim-reading. I'm a terrible skim-reader.

This story is set in the Fourth Age of Middle Earth, the age of Men, and despite the fact that the plotline is centric to elves, we are never allowed to forget that men now have dominance. Illeandir shows the changing world in many subtle, poignant ways that I missed on the first read and reveled in on the second. Furthermore, there are at least three distinct plot lines (Zaharias, Illeandir's journey, and Nara and the growing tension between nations) and the author's handling of each is masterly.

And then the plot twists. Need I say it again? The twists are blinding, not groundless, but so carefully entwined that the reader wonders how he never saw it! Be warned. If a chapter contains an author's note to sit down, sit down or face the consequences.

Language Usage/General Grammar
8/10

I'm grading your language on its current quality, not as it was when you started the book. You have a solid grasp of English, and the gift to put down a vivid scene. A slight tendency now and again to use unnecessary/filler words, but don't we all. *gloomy sigh*

Your grammar and punctuation is overall good. I have a few minor quibbles with this and that but I think they're mostly personal preferences, or just typos. However, I do notice several sentences written in this manner, and I'm not sure it's correct.

"I'm going to get a glass of water," he strode over to the counter, "and add some ice."

Tell me if this is personal preference again, but I think that commas closing dialogue are only meant to set off a tag containing "said" or variant. The correct way to write an action interspersed with dialogue would be this:

"I'm going to get a glass of water" – he strode over to the counter – "and add some ice."

Characters
8/10

I'm taking off an extra point here because I feel like, while the characters have developed and rounded personalities, they don't show their potential as early on in the book as I'd like. Throughout the last ten-ish chapters was when I really felt like I was getting to know the characters and be inside their heads, and it began to astound me how much you actually had developed them. I want to be able to see more of that development sooner.

Again, this isn't a slur on your characters: they're amazing. I love them all. Especially Nara. I don't know... there's just something about that girl. And Myran. *swallows spoiler*

Overall
7.5/10

I think you lost the most points over your summary. XD

This is a beautiful, poignant, unashamedly raw story and one that, despite its slightly rough edges in the earlier parts, is a jewel worth your time. Also, Illeandir gets bonus points for her author's notes. Funniest things ever.