Breaking Selma || P R O L O G U E by ThatPsychoDeeva

Hi guys, I'm Khadijah and this is my first Wattpad Block Party ever. Biggest thanks to Kelly Anne Blount for this huge opportunity to participate in the same event as my favorite authors. I wish you the best of luck in all you do.

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Her eyes swung open.



Selma let her sight focus and adjust to the darkness of the room before turning her head to the side. She was met with a beautiful, peaceful face; lips in a slight pout, hair fallen over one eye and breathing steady. Jamal's face was still ever familiar to her, considering she had made it an habit to watch him sleep sometimes.


Trying her best not to disrupt his sleep, Selma carefully traced her index finger across the planes of his face, and getting to his cheekbones, she laid her palm on his cheek and let the warmth from his body seep into hers. Every little detail of the dream she recently woke up from played over and over again like a video on repeat. Her dreams were mostly ever memories of when all was good in the Jamela kingdom, the reason every scene was vivid enough and the pain, raw.


"Stay away from me." Her hand jerked back at the voice but Jamal's eyes were still closed in a deep sleep. "I want you to stay away from me."

Forever etched in her heart were those words that came spilling out of her husband's mouth. Those words that made her want to go back in time; to the days of their honeymoon phase. But she immediately rebuked that thought as going back to that time would mean losing her son, Rae. That was never going to happen.


"You destroyed everything."


Sensing the beginning of a sob, Selma pushed herself away from her husband's side and walked into her closet.







~

The cold air hit her right in the face, as the front door clicked shut behind her. 


Judging by the lighting of the sky, Selma would guess it was about yet there, at Forest Hills Garden, it was as quiet as midnight. The roads were deserted per usual, but with tranquility; almost no sounds of car horns blaring from a distance. Everywhere seemed still, like time had paused for Selma to gather her flying thoughts.


Initially, while getting dressed for this run, Selma had gotten the impression that it would take her mind off the turmoil in her home. That running would shut off her view of a wide black hole, sucking in her marriage life, and leaving behind her broken heart, but she couldn't have been more wrong.



On the contrary, running had increased her scope for thinking. And thinking meant Jamal Macario Halpern. And Jamal meant pain, and misery, and guilt, and frustration. 



Two months ago, if she had been told that her husband — the one who had kissed her for a good ten minutes as goodbye when leaving for his business trip — would come back closed off like a bottle screwed shut by Mark Henry himself, she wouldn't even obtain any measures to avoid it because it was considered impossible.


But you know what they say, absolutely nothing is impossible. 


She got to find that out in the hardest way. A goofy husband by when they FaceTimed, and a broody, snappy man by when he made his way into the house, unexpected. By unexpected, she meant being totally convinced that it was a telegram in their living room when she saw him. 


Their eyes had locked for some minutes, and the life in his green irises assured her that it really was her husband. Words couldn't describe how great it felt to see the person that you missed so much, his voice always seemed to come from the other end of a tunnel over the phone.

For the first two minutes, Jamal let her squeeze his body against hers in a firm hug. If she remembered correctly, his hands had hesitated on her hips before finding a resting place at the small of her back. She had raised her head, eyes closed, only her lips blindly reaching for his, but the thing was, those lips never met hers. 



Selma let her lids give way for her eyes to see, but she wished she hadn't. It could have been so much better, walking around everyday with her eyes closed, only opening to look into her baby's eyes. It would have been so much better if she hadn't parted her lips and asked a three-worded question, "Jamal, what's wrong?"


The previous look of betrayal, mixed with a glint of tears, morphed into anger, mixed with so many accusations, she couldn't even...


"Did you just ask me that question?" She had to strain her hearing ability in order to catch the words barely uttered under his breath. Jamal might as well have written Retard on her forehead with a sharpie, considering that was the exact way he was addressing her.


Blinking back her initial shock at the tone and aggressiveness used in asking that question, Selma shrugged, dismissing it to be one of those off-moments. "What do you mean by that? Of course, I did."


She so badly wanted to joke, give a sarcastic reply that would have him burst into his deep, rare laughter that was reserved for her only, and he would murmur 'I almost got you, baby. Now I'm sad I didn't, kiss my heart better ' and she would kiss that spot on his chest, up to his neck, past his jaw till he finally gifted her lips.



It was all a wanted to and would have. In reality, she got a mirthless laugh in return, and a shake of his head. 


"How could you do that to me, Selma?" His words came out as a whisper, the one she was hardly familiar with because of how much it grated her nerves and chewed at her

conscience. The whisper that meant if he said more, he would f ucking break into tears.


Selma's eyes seemingly lost focus and her head throbbed, trying to piece together all the positive interpretations possible. "What — what do you mean?"


He did it again, he laughed. "Really, you have no idea." And again. "Look me in the eyes, Selma, and tell me we ought to be completely fine, because you've done absolutely nothing wrong to me."



The fog of confusion was thickening. Selma decided to seek assistance from Jamal's eyes, but it was too late. Moist had formed over the green irises she had learned to seek comfort from and she wondered for a second if her touch could bring back his lively eyes, and teasing, shy smile. But it was no Disney production, Jamal pushed her hand off his skin from where her palm had unconsciously navigated to it.

"Just lie one more time to my face, Selma."


"What are you talking about?" She cried. "Am I getting punk'd? You guys should come out with your cameras and whatever, this isn't funny at all. Jamal, cut the act, you're scaring me."



Jamal stepped closer and leaned into her breathing space. "Answer the f ucking question."



"Stop it, Jamal, I don't like this one bit."



Jamal grabbed her by the wrist, and jerked her closer. "Does this seem like a joke to you? Why do you have to be so... pretentious? And don't you feel any remorse? This is so unlike you," he spat out.


The tables were turned at his words and she let out a dry laugh like he had done. "I'm unlike myself? Can you even hear the way you're speaking to me, like I'm an idiot yet I'm unlike myself? F uck you, Jamal. I did nothing wrong, okay?" She paused and took a deep breath to unclog her throat. "You're just being a jerk, and I don't know what happened or why you're here so suddenly, but aren't you happy to see me?"


Jamal's hold on her wrist unfolded, making her hand swing down to her side. "Do I look happy? I honestly don't know if you have a defective memory or anything, but when you do remember what you did wrong, and quit feigning ignorance, I'll consider speaking to you. Till then, stay the hell away from me."


"Excuse me?"



"Stay away from me," he enunciated each word, "I want you to stay away from me."



"Okay, now I'm convinced this is a joke. My Jamal would never say that to me." Selma stepped back, walking towards the nearest couch. She peered over, muttering to herself, "where the hell are those cameras?" She turned to walk across the room, and saw Jamal was already heading for the door. "No, Jamal, this can't be happening. Jamal, where are you going? What did I do?"



His fingers around the doorknob flexed, and he looked over his shoulder at her, jaw shifting as he gritted his teeth. A look of annoyance that only her best friend, Eli, was constantly at the receiving end of crossed his face but more intensely directed at her in that brief moment.



"You destroyed everything."


Like Selma had done on that day, she choked on her sob, but the fact that she was out on the road kept her on her feet. Her knees were threatening to betray her, making her stop at the side of the road, and brace one arm against a building, just in time for her sobs to start.

"Jamal, what did I do?" She whispered to herself. 



"Ma'am?"



Selma jerked back at the voice, and turned around to see who. The first thing she registered were the weirdly colored eyes staring straight into hers...

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I really hope you guys liked my post and you can find the book in my profile! It's still ongoing but hopefully, you'll like it. Don't forget to enter my giveaway which is THREE dedications of my story, Upside Down to three winners.

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