Forced Heir Preview

SugarCubes4

Hi guys! I'm Rose (aka: @SugarCubes4), and I'm the author of Forced Royal. I joined Wattpad three years ago, and I'm so thankful that I did. I've loved getting to talk to so many of y'all, and I've loved getting to grow in my writing. I owe it to all of you, Wattpad, and God for my passion for writing! Thank you guys SO much from the bottom of my heart! Also, I want to send a HUGE thank you to @KellyAnneBlount for hosting all of the Wattpad Block Parties and for allowing me to be a part of this. Lastly, make sure to go check out my giveaway (because who doesn't love FREE stuff!). I will be giving away a $15 Books A Million Gift Card along with a personalized journal!

Forced Royal was my first book that I ever wrote on Wattpad, and recently, I've started writing the sequel to it, which is called Forced Heir. (If you haven't read Forced Royal, I highly suggest you do so before continuing.) This post will be set when Arizona is 16 weeks pregnant and is suffering with extreme depression.    

Horrific scenes of the past few months consume my every being, and they all remind me that I'm just a puppet on a string, waiting to be used by the Queen. I don't have a right to make my own decisions anymore. I remember fighting with all of my might just to have a choice when I was being forced to marry Charlie, but now, I'm used to it. What's the point in resisting if you know you're just going to fail? It's almost as if life is a game and I'm destined to lose.

Each scene that flashes through my head has become so painful, that I've almost become numb to it all. I just want to feel a different kind of emotion. It doesn't matter what—I just want to feel something. I want to feel something other than the emotions I've become way too familiar with—pain, hurt, defeat. Those are very possessive feelings because they latch on to you and it seems nearly impossible to rid them out of your life.

Suddenly, I pull myself out of my daze of thoughts and memories to find myself alone in Charlie and I's bed with the layers and layers of blankets pulled up to my neck. Sweat covers my face from another hot flash, but I dare not move the blankets. But today is the first time in a long time I haven't felt morning sickness, which is definitely a miracle.

Suddenly, the door slowly opens and KC peaks her head in, "How did you like your lunch, Princess Arizona?"

"I didn't eat," I say sharply.

KC slowly walks over to my bedside table that has a tray of untouched food. "Arizona, this is the third day you haven't eaten anything..."

Instead of saying anything, I give her a cold stare. KC locks eyes with me with a guilty expression on her face, knowing that I haven't forgotten about her ruining my plans to escape the forced marriage to Charlie. Then, she starts examining my sweat-covered face and her eyes start to widen, "Arizona, you're burning up! Here, let's get those covers off of you."

"No!" I scream at her as her hands grab the blankets. Immediately, I shove her arms away from me, and she has a look of shock on her face.

"But, it will make you cooler. You won't be sweating so mu—"

"I said, NO!" I yell at her.

Then, there's a moment of silence where we exchange bitter stares. I can tell that she wants to apologize for what she did, but she knows that it's no use because the damage has been done. There is no going back now. I will forever be with Charlie and he will forever be with me, but the problem with that is, we simply don't love one another. We are forever tied to each other, not only because of the marriage, but also, because of the baby.

"Well then," she begins to say as she heads to the door, "I'm going to notify Queen Chelsea on the fact that you have been refusing to eat your meals. I will be back shortly."

"It's not the first time you've told her about my business," I huff. My words stopped her in her tracks for a split second, but she continues to exit with poise and self-control, acting as if I never said a thing.

Releasing a deep breath, I think about taking the blankets off because I want to be cooler, but the fear of taking off the blankets is too much that I'd rather be sweaty and hot. With the back of my arm, I wipe the sweat off my forehead and reach to my bedside table for a cup of water. The room-temperature water allows me to feel a little less hot and makes my dry mouth feel a little more normal.

Then, Queen Chelsea, KC, and the castle's doctor barge into my bedroom. KC gives me a little smirk, Queen Chelsea gives me a scowl, and the doctor sends me kind-hearted smile as I set the empty cup back on my nightstand.

"Arizona, I gathered information that you haven't eating today either," Queen Chelsea states as she purses her lips, waiting for an answer, but I just stay silent. "Well, in that case, I'm going to let Dr. Merryweather take a look at you because I know this cannot be healthy for that baby you're carrying."

Dr. Merryweather comes to my bedside and notices, just like KC did, how hot I am, "Goodness, dear, you must be on fire!" Then, she turns to KC, asking her to grab a cold, wet rag to put on my face. KC returns and places it on my forehead, and I let out a sigh of relief at how satisfying the coldness feels on my temple.

"Now, no wonder you're so hot, dear, you have five blankets on you!" Dr. Merryweather says as she pulls one of the five off of me.

"NO!" I scream, jerking away from the doctor.

Queen Chelsea and the doctor exchange a glance before Dr. Merryweather asks me, "Well, why don't you want the covers off of you, dear?"

"Because they're comfortable," I lie as I feel more heat rush to my face.

"Arizona, you are acting very strange," Queen Chelsea examines me as if she can figure out the answer from the look on my face.

"Yes, every time that I have come into your room for the past couple weeks you've been under those blankets even if you were burning up," KC states.

Queen Chelsea continues to stare me down until suddenly, in one swift move, she rips all of the blankets off of my body. "NO!" I yell once again as my eyes clench shut. Then, the sound of Queen Chelsea and KC gasping makes me cringe.

"Oh my goodness, Arizona, you're starting to show!"

"You have a baby bump!"

Then, after they have their little celebration, I sense the mood shift. The room suddenly grows quiet before Queen Chelsea whispers, "...so that's why you had those covers on you."

I don't know how, but Queen Chelsea has a way of reading me. She knows me better than I know myself sometimes. She can somehow figure out the way I think, the way I act, and the way I feel, and she always uses that against me. And this situation is a perfect example of that.

I started to notice my body visibly changing, so I hid my belly by burying it underneath piles of blankets, not wanting to focus on the fact that Charlie and I are expecting. Whenever Queen Chelsea would force me to do "princess duties" or I had to sit at the table for breakfast or dinner, I would request an outfit that wouldn't show off my belly. Even when I was alone in this bedroom, I avoided looking at myself. I wouldn't look at my entire body in a mirror. I would avoid looking downward towards my stomach. I attempted to trick my mind to forget about it even though the hot flashes, morning sickness, and gas made it very difficult to ignore. Whenever I would catch a glimpse of my tummy, I would turn my eyes away because just the sight made me feel helpless. I knew that I couldn't hide from my growing belly forever, but it's a frightening thing when you realize you're bringing a tiny child into this huge world.

"KC go pull out that mirror," Queen Chelsea demands as I feel her grip my arms and yank me out of bed.

"Please, don't! Stop it. Let me go!" I say, gritting my teeth and resisting her grip, as she jerks me into the bathroom. When she lets me go, I look to see KC setting a floor length mirror directly in front of me.

At first, I notice my sweaty face and knotted hair. Then, my eyes immediately shift down from my face down to my pink silk nightgown where there is a small bulge at my midsection. My jaw drops as I look away from my reflection and down at my tummy. With trembling hands, I gently touch my stomach in disbelief.

This isn't me. This isn't my life. This can't be real. But it is me. But this is my life. And every single bit of this is real.

Hot tears burn my eyes, and they trail down my face. My hands tremble more and more as the full realization of the fact that I'm going to have a baby hits me. Charlie and I are having a child that we were forced to have. Everything in my life at the moment has been centered around me being forced to do it. I was forced to live at the castle. I was forced to marry Charlie. I was forced to become a princess. I was forced into having an heir to the throne. Never did I know that a single person could have so much control over my life.

Then, I slowly turn around to face the woman who is responsible for all of this—Queen Chelsea. With a smug smile on her lips, she speaks to me in an eerily sweet tone, "Dry up those tears, dear. We all know it's just those hormones."

Then, Dr. Merryweather gently grabs one of my arms, guiding me back to the bedroom, and hands me a tissue. Gently wiping my eyes, I take deep breaths in an attempt to fight off a wave of anxiety that feels like it's weighing me down. Slowly, I sit down on the edge of my bed. "Look dear," Dr. Merryweather starts in a calm tone as she sits next to me, placing her hand on my shoulder, "you are obviously suffering from depression and anxiety with the way you have been refusing food and how you've been avoiding looking at yourself. And my advice to you is that you need to start eating, and I am going to put you on a specific diet that can possibly help you with your depression. If you continue to refuse to eat, it can cause damage to your body and to your baby's."

I look at Dr. Merryweather and she gives me an encouraging smile before continuing, "Going through pregnancy is not easy, it's a big responsibility. So in order for you to have the proper weight gain, you need to eat, and in order to help your depression and anxiety, I suggest doing calming activities such as painting or taking walks. It will help your baby and yourself. Can you promise me that you'll do that?"

"Yes, Doctor," I reply with an unsure tone in my voice.

"Good. Now, if you have any questions or concerns, let me know." Then, she stands up, gives me a small nod, and silently walks out.

KC and Queen Chelsea walk towards the door, and she gives me a stern look before leaving, "Do what the doctor says."

***

The sight of the city lights is probably one of the most beautiful things because everywhere you look, there is an abundance of life. No matter what time it is, there are always people out and about on an adventure. On cool nights like this, I thoroughly enjoy standing out on the balcony outside my bedroom, where I'm so high up that I feel like I can see the entire city in all of its glory. When I look below, I can see so many people that are so diverse. Each one of them has lived different lives, and not one of them is the same. Sometimes I like to people-watch and wonder what each person has experienced.

Even on some of the worst nights, I've found that just standing here helps me to breathe. I can take a break from at least some of my problems and just breathe. I don't have to focus on me and my problems. I can focus on the people that I watch. I can focus on them and their problems. It's the one moment where I don't have to worry about myself.

The wind whips my curled hair around, totally messing it up, but I don't bother to fix it. My arms lean against the concrete railing as I observe all of the people when, suddenly, someone leans against the railing with me.

"Hey, I would really like to talk to you," Charlie says gently. I quickly glance at him before continuing to observe. There's a tense moment of silence before he lets out a sigh, "Ari, I'm—"

"Charlie, I really don't feel like talking right now. Maybe later..." I interrupt.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him open his mouth to say something, but he changes his mind and walks off. Once I hear the door to our bedroom shut behind him, I feel my chest tighten and a rush of anxiety overcomes me. Immediately, I rush back inside, trying to take deep breaths, but with each deep breath, there comes more fear. Breathing heavily, my body leans against a wall and I slowly slide down to sit on the ground.

Anxiety attacks always occur at the most random moments. One minute I can be perfectly fine, and then the next minute, my body is freaking out. It's like I have no control over my feelings. The worst thing about anxiety is when you start to feel it creeping up on you, you start to get scared, which causes it to get worse and worse until finally, you're in a full-blown panic. That's when you can't think straight and you feel like you're going crazy until hours later, your body seems to grow too tired to constantly worry, so you calm down a bit.

Then, I hear the door open again, and assuming it's Charlie, I speak sharply in between breaths, "Charlie, I'll talk to you later!"

But they close the door behind them and walk towards me, and when I look up, I see a concerned Robin.

"Oh, no! Don't cry, Princess! You're too pretty to cry," he says with a small grin, trying to make me smile, and it worked because even though I feel more anxiety, seeing his smile, makes me smile. I let out a small laugh as a few tears trickle down my face, and Robin sits next to me on the floor.

"And look at you with your pretty blue princess dress," he says, touching the skirt of my flowing tiffany blue gown. I give him another breathy laugh, but I can tell he knows how scared I'm feeling at the moment.

"Robin, I feel like I can't breathe," I tell him, and immediately, he holds my hand.

His usual goofy expressions disappear as he becomes more concerned for me, "Listen, you can breathe. You're okay."

"But I don't feel like I'm okay," I say as more tears come.

He gives me a comforting smile, "But you are okay. Arizona, you just have to let it all out."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're so stressed and worried that you feel like you can't handle it, so you lock all of those emotions up inside of you until you finally burst into a royal hot mess." Gently, his thumb moves around in circles on the top of my hand before continuing, "So go ahead, let it all out because it's just me here and nobody else. I don't mind you being a royal hot mess in front of me."

A laugh escapes my system in between the deep breaths and the tears, and I just suddenly break out into a full out sob. I do as Robin told me, and through tears, I let out every emotion that I've been feeling. Slowly, all of my sorrow, bitterness, malice, and defeat is being released. My eyes start to get puffy and red, and as I wipe tears off of my face, my fingertips start to turn black from the running mascara. Then, my head carefully leans on Robin's shoulder.

After about thirty minutes, my crying slows down and so does my breathing. Slowly, I feel like I can breathe once again, and the tightness that was once in my chest, dissipates. A weight that was crushing me moments ago, feels not so heavy as it was. It's incredible how much emotions can have a burden on you and control your outlook and attitude on life. Slowly, I lift my head and rest it against the wall, taking one last deep breath. A feeling of relief overcomes me, and it's a calming, restful feeling.

"Did that help?" Robin asks in a low whisper.

"Yeah, a lot." I say, looking over at him, "Thank you."

"No problem, Princess," his usual goofy grin comes across his face.

I make it up to my feet and walk to the bathroom to find black streaks all over my face from the mascara. Quickly, I wash my face, removing every bit of makeup, and then I tame my wind-blown hair.

When I come out of the bathroom, Robin has another concerned look on his face before speaking, "So Arizona, I heard that you haven't been eating."

"Yeah... I haven't," I mumble, ashamed at myself by the way he looks at me.

"I know that you're having a rough time, but you need to. You know that it isn't good."

"Robin, I don't know..."

"What?"

My eyes meet his, "I don't know who I am anymore. I know that it's not good. The doctor told me that it can cause injury to me and the baby, but—"

Robin interrupts me in a calm but stern voice, "Arizona, there is no excuse." His blue eyes, that are usually full of fun, are filled with concern and hurt. "Look, I know you didn't want this baby. I know that it wasn't your choice, but that is no excuse to make a selfish decision. I'm not saying this because I'm trying to make you upset. I'm saying this because I care, and that I know you are so much better than this." He scratches the back of his red hair before continuing, "Arizona, you are a beautiful girl that deserves so much more than how you've treated, and one thing I've loved about you ever since you came to this castle is that through everything, you never lost hope. And let me tell you, watching you lose hope now, hurts me. You're such a strong person, so don't give up now." He looks me in the eyes with hurt before glancing down at my baby bump, "And this baby," he gestures to my belly, "is a gift. You and Charles may not understand that yet, but I'm telling you, that baby is a blessing. It's time for you to treat that baby like a blessing..."

His voice cracks and I can tell he's getting emotional from the expression on his face, and his words resonate with me. I've been making some selfish decisions that have been wrong, and it's time for me to make responsible decisions for my child. And I never knew that Robin thought so highly of me.

He looks at me in eyes once again, "Promise me that you'll do these things?"

"I promise," I say in a low whisper. Seeing Robin emotional makes me feel emotional, too. "I'm so sorry, Robin, that I've been doing these things. I didn't realize how selfish I've been..."

"Just please, don't give up."

"I won't."

He gives me a small smile, "That's the spirit, Princess."

"Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"I just have to tell you, thank you. You have always made me laugh whenever I wanted to cry. You can make anyone's day brighter with just your smile. You have helped me so much with my anxiety, and I thank you for encouraging me to be better. You have always made me feel special," I say to him from the bottom of my heart. The words that I just said were truly sincere. It was like I suddenly had an urge to tell him how thankful I really am for him to be in my life. His goofiness never fails to cheer me up. His smile always makes me smile. And every word that he speaks is so truthful.

"You are special, Arizona." He gives me a genuine smile, that is so contagious that I smile. His words are melting my heart.

Then, it was like we couldn't take our eyes off of each other. I lost myself in his loving blue eyes, and suddenly, I get an overwhelming, giddy feeling towards him that I never felt with anyone before.

Slowly, we start to lean in to each other, and my heart skips a beat. The space between us grows smaller and smaller until finally, our lips touch. We share a careful, short, and tiny kiss where our lips barely collide, and when we pull away, our eyes are locked on each other. Suddenly, I feel butterflies just by the sight of him. Then, we both come in for another, better, firmer kiss. Robin cups my cheek with one hand and gently places his other hand on the side of my growing tummy, making my heart flutter.

In this moment, I know that I love Robin. Even with the smallest kiss, he's able to make me feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world. He is goofy. He is crazy. He is caring. He is kindhearted. He is charming in an odd way. But the best thing about him is how loving he is.

Once we pull away, he shows me one of his sweet smiles before lightly kissing my forehead.

Then, he starts walking to the door, but I stop him, "Robin?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you go get me something to eat? Because I'm pretty hungry." I say with a smile.

With a small laugh, he says, "Of course, Princess."

***********

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