Should We Drink or Write or both? Bonus: Writing Tip

Q: How old were you when you had your first drink and what was it?

A: If you can call a thimble full of Mogen David a drink, I would say at Seder on Passover. But in truth, I don't really recall drinking the sweet wine. The baby-sized silver cup that I now own meant more to me than the wine and still does. Part of the appeal of alcoholic drinks is the beautiful vessel: the twined blown-glass stems on the set of pastel-colored wine glasses I bought in Venice for my mother on my first trip abroad and that she never used but displayed beautifully in her breakfront.

Even in Italy, I drank Coca-Cola instead of wine that flows there like water.

Q: What's your drink of choice? Why?

A: I began drinking wine in my late thirties when my cooking became more sophisticated and I wanted to understand the pairing of food with wine. My husband and I had dinner at the Henley Park Hotel restaurant near our office, and we had an Italian white wine called Est Est Est, Latin for It is, It is, It is, an inexpensive white wine that was a step up from anything either of us had ever had, non-drinkers that we were.

Q: What about the worst time?

A:I began to understand the dangers of any pleasure that creates both a high anda low when my husband of 21 years said oh-so-Greta-Garbo "I need to livealone," and I cratered. Before I began to sort out what had happened in mymemoir (Re)Making Love, I drank wineat night after I had finished my teaching and writing and I wept. I lookedthrough the glass, through the wine darkly. In this way, I associate the lossof the dream with too much wine. Alcohol in excess gets in the way of dreamingand dreaming is key to the creative process. 

Q: Can you tell us about the best time you ever had drinking?

A: My husband, who left like a nightmare, shared wine and food with me as the search for repair, whether possible or not, and that true story is revealed in my memoir (Re)Making Love, here on Wattpad and on Amazon and from the publisher at a discount—see my website. I don't think the name of the wine matters because for me the wine will always be the metaphor of Est Est Est: It is, It is, It is.

The wine and food any of us share together affirm the hope of the family table: That table is, it exists in the face of all the ways that life betrays the living.

Q: Has culture or religion influenced your drinking?

A: Drinking in college where I saw a lot of folks roll back to the dorm drunk held little interest for me. Because of my Jewish upbringing, sweet wine was a part of the Sabbath and holiday table. So, it wasn't a taboo that drew me. My parents didn't drink socially. My father would have once a year a single shot of Seagram Crown Royal whiskey, the bottle in a blue velvet bag that remains unforgettable to me. His drink and the velvet bag mean something to be treasured.

Do you have a favorite book, song, or movie about drinking?

A: Bob Dylan's "I'll Be Your Baby Tonight." I do associate wine with romance and safety and I think his lyrics, though edgy, do too.

Q: If you could be any drink, what would it be? Why?

A: An Apricot Brandy Sour. This isn't a drink I like much now—I drink no hard liquor—but it is the first hard liquor I ever had. I turned 21 in March of the year I earned my first Master's Degree. I was away at a school with a dry campus and so I went with a boyfriend off campus for that drink. My father suggested that I order the Sour and I did. My father's love is entwined with that drink along with his need to protect me and the bond we shared throughout his life—though we didn't form that bond with drinking. We formed it with talk.

Q: What do you like most about drinking?

The wine and talk that go with good food. All three form a triad built on love. I've had to learn the importance of the triad through hard times and good times. The journey has made me believe that the family table formed my beginning and holds me true. When that table includes wine and food and talk, the table's legs stand on a strong foundation like the family Seder where I first encountered wine.

Q.: What do dreams mean for the writer?

I am writing a book here on Wattpad entitled Writing Tips (find it on my profile). One chapter will be devoted to sleeping. You know the line, "Sleep on it"? That's solid writing advice. Do two things when writing.

1. When you have a writing problem, don't drink before you to sleep and repeat the problem before you fall into dreaming. You will wake with the answer.

2. Keep a pen by your bed, or put your phone on "night shift" so that using it when you wake with a dream won't keep you up for the rest of the night. When you do wake, and you will, write down the visuals you saw (all dreams are images, like watching a movie while you sleep) and when you write those down in notes on your pad or in "notes" your phone dimmed so that you'll fall back to sleep and not kept up by white light. Add these notes to your journal and find them in your story when you're inventing.

Dream on, writers. And if you like this post, vote, "like" me on my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter to win a free copy of the audible.com version of my novel Who by Fire read by me (your email address will be needed via private transmission to me) for the prize. And if you reveal also privately to me your snail mail address, I'll write you a personal letter in my hand for inspiration and hope for your writing life, wherever you may be in the world.

With hugs for KellyAnneBount and kudos too, I say this in farewell: Go for what you dream and toast that hope with whatever means the most in your culture, your soul and your heart!

An earlier version of this interview in somewhat different form appeared on a fabulous site worth a visit: The Drinking Diaries (now a book) by Caren Osten Gerszberg and Leah Odze Epstein, my thanks to them and to you, dear reader.

xoxo

Check out Mary's favorite song about drinking in the video below! 

https://youtu.be/9fk_W29L9lA

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