THE ART OF SINKING SHIPS

hepburnettes

wattpad winter block party 2017

So I was really glad to get the Valentine's Day post for this round's Block Party (all thanks to the amazing @KellyAnneBlount for making my dream come true). But then it became pressurising because people were asking me what kind of romantic post I was going to make for this romantic day, and they were like, "Noelle, are you going to write more smut???"

Yes. Yes, I am.

I'm just kidding. I did ruin Harry Potter for you though, didn't I?

Good. Now you'll be able to read Draconian, which you can find on my profile and -

Okay, wait, I digress. The thing is, writing a romantic post for Valentine's Day is really difficult, because contrary to all the romance trash I write, I'm not a very good person to celebrate Valentine's Day with. I even forgot about it a couple of times, but let's not go there. But anyway, I figured that since I'm crap at celebrating this romantic day, I'd do the exact opposite and give you the most un-romantic post I have to offer:

THE ART OF SINKING SHIPS

Because it's really an art. True story.

This is one of the questions I get the most when it comes to my novels. I could write a ten-chapter novella, or a fifty-chapter novel even, and decide to break the couple up. I could break them up at the end of the story, or in the spin-off, or come up with a sequel that effectively ships one of the characters with a totally new character.

I'm like the owner of the docks and everyday, I send out many ships to sea. The SS Kisla, the SS Decloise, the SS Marcy, so on and so forth. And somewhere out on the turbulent sea, there's a Lorelei out there (who's actually me in disguise) adamant on sinking those ships. At the end of the day, only one in every five ships remain intact. Then I send them out again when dawn breaks and even less of those return.

Sinking ships is like a bad breakup (I know - I'm so hopeless at Valentine's Day that I'm even writing a breakup post ON Valentine's Day). I mean, not just with your characters, but even with your readers and, more importantly, yourself. And here's how it works:

Disclaimer: Do note that the rest of this post is not an official guideline, but rather based on my personal experience with my own writing.

Step #1:

Realise the flaws.

Now this is super important. One of the biggest problems I see on Wattpad is that authors tend to get very attached to their characters. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but it's a thin line. There's a difference between "oh I love my characters" and "SHUT UP THEY'RE PERFECT DON'T YOU DARE SAY ANYTHING MEAN ABOUT THEM YOU HOE!!!"

Yeah, don't ever do the latter. It is really not cool and makes you look like a three-year old at a toy store who wants a Barbie their parents won't let them get. Except three-year olds don't use the word hoe.

Try to look at your characters objectively. If you're a person who's introspective, that's really good. You can see your own flaws? Great. Now try seeing the ones in your characters (if you can't see any, that means your character is bordering on a mary sue / gary stu and baby, you've got to work on that).

Step #2:

Have things fall apart.

Once you've picked out the flaws, you're going to see something pretty cool. Some are deal-breakers. Others aren't. A guy who cheats? Oh, yeah, deal-breaker. A girl who's super spoilt? Hmm, maybe not. So it's like you're on the verge of breaking up. You put yourself in the characters' shoes and ask - is this something that's worth holding on to? Or should I end it once and for all?

Only you can decide for yourself which relationships are toxic and which aren't.

So have things fall apart. Attribute it to the flaws, or to the flimsiness of their relationship, or to events that perhaps force them apart. The latter creates a hell of a sob story, like in Titanic.

Which also sank, by the way. If James Cameron wasn't afraid to have two ships sink in a single film, then why should you?

Step #3:

Break up.

Oh, yes, this is the exciting part.

Your readers will hate you for it, and say things like:

Reader 1: nooooooo. whyyyyyyy?

Reader 2: what is ron with you???

Reader 3: I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF.

If you're like Reader 3, seriously, pep-talk time: It's not funny to joke about death. If a sinking fictional ship is going to make you want to kill yourself, what happens when a real-life ship like Brangelina sinks? Oh, wait...

But as for you, the author, it's going to get a little rocky from here. Some readers will yell all sorts of obscenities at you. Others will fling their virtual poop at you. Even more will stop reading or click that unfollow button altogether. And the remaining few angelic ones will support you, regardless.

Keep the remaining few in mind because they're the readers worth holding on to. They're your real fans. It's like when you've broken up and your 'friends' begin to pick sides. Those who stay with you are your real friends. And those who don't...well, ta-ta darlings, the door's right over there. Don't forget to slam your fingers in the door when you shut it.

I'm just kidding (no, I'm dead sirius).

Step #4:

Write a Breakup Formula.

(The ship in Breakup Formula also sinks, by the way. Wait, is that a spoiler? Oh...)

In cliche terms, when you're done with a breakup, you're going to cry a lot. Watch the Notebook a lot (and then gouge your eyes out right after. See, I really can't do Valentine's Day). And eat ice cream a lot.

In Wattpad terms, when you're done breaking up a couple, your readers are going to cry a lot. They're going to spam you a lot. They're going to reread the book a lot, and say things like:

Reader 1: you clearly don't know shit about your book or your characters if you broke them up.

Reader 2: they will forever and always be my OTP to infinity and beyond.

Reader 3: I'm just going to pretend that the author didn't break them up at all and that they got married and lived happily ever after.

Yeah, well, they probably lived happily ever after until taxes and children came along, and then it'll get hellish from there.

Now, comments like the one from Reader 1 really sting, because it's actually downright disrespectful. Readers don't go up to Rowling and say stuff like, "you clearly don't know shit about Fred if you decided to kill him off." Or "you clearly don't know shit about Draco and the Apple if you decided to kill off Drapple." No, instead they write AUs wherein Draco and the Apple get married and have dozens of little Drapples and live happily ever after.

One of the hardest things about being a Wattpad author, I think, is that we don't get paid to take this kind of crap.

But, you know, it works both ways. You don't get paid to sail a ship for the sake of your readers either. So if you want to sink a ship, then do it. End the relationship, delete the negativity, block the haters.

Be brave. Be strong. Be positive.

Step #5:

Let go of the past.

Now, let's forget about the ex (i.e. the readers) for a moment and focus on you (i.e. the author).

I know how difficult it is to sink a ship. Your characters are like your babies, or your friends, or those imaginary people you talk to in your head. You don't want to let anything bad happen to them. You don't want them alone.

Now, don't get me wrong - I'm all for independence and feminism, but it is not a weakness to admit that you need someone in your life, to depend on, to care for and to love with all your heart. So if you translate that into your works - it's not a bad thing to want your characters to be happy with someone. That someone just has to be right or better for them (and that's why you've sunk the previously toxic ship).

So, now that you have some metaphorical distance from all that craziness, take the time to re-evaluate your characters. Create a backstory for them or, if you already have, then flesh it out. Observe nuances in your character that you haven't noticed before - is there an event or person that made them the way they are in the present? Is there any redemption for them, or will they be heading on a downward spiral?

And - will there be another story for them?

Once you're confident that you've got sufficient understanding of your character, both you and your character are ready to move on.

Step #6:

Embrace the future.

This is the fun part - you get to write sequels or spin-offs.

Okay, wait, it's a little difficult to convey tone in here so it probably didn't sound as exciting. Let me try again:

YOU GET TO WRITE SEQUELS OR SPIN-OFFS.

See, fun stuff, right? Don't you feel like you've just drank a bottle of skele-gro because your writing boner's all growing? No wingardium leviosa required.

My point is - your character's free to grow (and I meant this in a totally non-sexual way), however they want, with whomever they want. You can write a new story with the same character and have them end up with someone else. Or have them end up with the person they were with before. Or have them stay single - not in that 'forever alone meme' way but in that 'single ladies a la Beyonce' way.

And you know what the best part is?

It's super rewarding. You'll get new readers - ones who've not read your old works and are now reading your current project with a totally unbiased and fresh lens. You'll get your current readers - ones who've stuck with you throughout, and they'll be your biggest motivation. You'll get your old readers back - they'll be like, "okay, screw (insert old couple's ship name here), now i ship (insert new couple's ship name here)".

There is nothing more satisfying than proving to them that you can and have told a better story.

Step #7:

The golden rule.

But before you can do any of the steps above, here's the most important thing to ask yourself:

Why do you write?

I say this countless of times to my followers who've asked me stuff like how to write well, or how to stay motivated in writing, or how to become popular on Wattpad in general. You see, it's a crazy site. Fun, but crazy, and with the What's-Hot list or rankings, it's super easy to forget the real reason you write.

I personally write because a) it's what I love and b) i have a story to tell. And it's really easy to apply this to anything, including sinking ships. When people ask me, "hey, Noelle, why do you sink some ships?", my answer - apart from more minor reasons like toxicity or flimsiness of a relationship or certain twists of fate etc - is always:

Because I have a better story to tell.

That encompasses improvement in writing or better character development or even sending a healthier message to readers, the list goes on and on. And if sinking ships helps me tell a better story -

You bet your sweet ass I'm going to do it.

Wishing you a lovely Valentine's day,

x noelle

PROMOTIONS

There will be two promotions this time round -

1) Hosted by @KellyAnneBlount, see the giveaway link to participate.

2) Hosted by me (@hepburnettes), and here's how to enter:

If you've ever sunk a ship or intend to, in-line comment HERE to tell me a) which couple from which book and b) why.

I will be selecting several authors (depending on how many entries I get) to promote to ~170'000 followers! 

***********

P.S. Don't forget to enter the 130+ #WattpadBlockParty Giveaways! Clickable links are at the top of my Wattpad profile! :)

GIVEAWAY LINK ONE:

http://kellyanneblountauthor.blogspot.com/2017/01/giveaways-for-wattpad-block-party_31.html

GIVEAWAY LINK TWO (with Widgets):

http://kellyanneblountauthor.blogspot.com/2017/01/giveaways-with-widgets-for-wattpad.html