Hello, friends!

My name is Amber, also known as amberlove222 here on Wattpad, or Amber_Love222 on twitter. I started writing on Wattpad in September of 2015, after obsessing over After by Anna Todd and other Harry Styles fanfictions, which made me want to get myself back into writing my own books. I, of course, after reading these fanfics, decided that writing Harry Styles AUs was for me, and since then, there has been no looking back!

This is my first Wattpad Block Party, and I am super excited to be a part of it. Thank you Kelly Anne so much for including me this time around!

Hope you all will enjoy a Harry POV from my beloved book, Legitimately Me.

Much Love,

amberlove

xo

I'm not going to lie. Everything about Jayde Cohen is confusing. And while she sits next to me in the passenger seat of my car as we drive back to our small town, the windows rolled down and the wind blowing through her hair, I can't help but notice there's something different about her at this very moment. I can sense that the usual weight that seems to rest upon her shoulders isn't there and her whole persona is buoyant. Her smile is real and lights up her eyes, as if every single smile that had ever shown upon her face was never real until now.

And as much as I know I need to focus on the road in front of me, I can't help but watch her from my peripheral vision, because God only knows how long this will last. I want to think that she seems happy, because I kissed her outside the store; It being the first time we have ever kissed in public and not hiding behind walls. But the perplexing girl that she is, there's no understanding the reason behind her smile.

The last few months with her have been a roller coaster. One that I would gladly ride again and again. For she is intriguing in the best of ways, full of hidden stories I would give anything to uncover. But that's the one thing I love most about her. She likes that she's a mystery to me.

At least she thinks she is.

She doesn't know I know most everything about her. Reading her blog, I get insight to who she really is, which allows for me to give her exactly what I know she needs. I had fallen inlove with the girl behind the words Girl_Disconnected had written before I even knew it was the girl in front of me all along, and only when I realized it was the same girl, did it bring body and mind together in ways I never knew existed, making me fall even harder for her.

She has made me a mess, this broken girl. Her back and forth drives me crazy and somehow brings out the worst in me at times. She's made me say things and do things I don't mean and we have hurt each other with words so often, it's a surprise that she's even still sitting next to me.

But she also brings out the best in me. How easy it is to get lost in her, as I know she does me. She has a way of making me feel like the luckiest man alive, which really only terrifies me.

This roller coaster we're on together hit a slope so high last week, I didn't think we'd ever see the bottom and survive it. But she surprised me and brought us back up to solid ground. It was all in her eyes. The way she looked at me gave me all the answers I ever needed. She didn't have to say anything for me to know that she was telling me she loves me. And as ecstatic as this made me, it scared the crap out of me. Because even though it was what I wanted, understanding our feelings for each other, made me realize how much easier it would be to hurt each other. And with us, hurting each other seems to be what we do best.

All I could do after that, was run. I bolted so fast, I didn't think twice. I didn't want to give myself the chance to break this already broken down girl even more. And I didn't want her to break me.

And yet, she came back to me. Days later, she's still here, sitting next to me in this car, her eyes smiling even when she isn't. Once again, she surprises me, by placing her hand in mine on my lap and bringing it over to her thigh. I take this moment to look at her, and she smiles at me. This small and simple expression isn't something that normally happens between us, but I find it comforting and wonder how we could have went months without connecting this way.

We have connected our bodies many times, in ways that made my heart pound from my chest. She gave me herself to escape her life, and in return got lost in me. And this connection was magnetic. I became enthralled with her much quicker than I ever intended to, not knowing what this connection could do to me.

"Thank you for today," she smiles. "I will repay your mom when I can—for everything she's done for me."

"She doesn't want your money, Jayde," I tell her, honestly. "If you haven't already realized, she just wants to do nice things for you, knowing your mom won't."

"I know—" she says shyly, looking down at our hands clasped together, before looking back up at me. "That doesn't mean I can't pay her back. She didn't have to buy my prom dress."

The traffic comes to a stop on the highway, and I take advantage of this standstill to lean over and kiss her. I take in the fact that her lips curl up into a slight smile as she presses her lips to mine, not hiding that she likes this small gesture.

"You're happy today," I say, slightly moving away from her to look her in the eyes.

"You say that as if it's surprising," she says, playfully pushing my chest away from her.

"It's not surprising," I laugh and clear my throat. "It's just—different."

"Well, it was a good day," she claims, looking out the window.

This whole weekend was good, to say the least. One of the better weekends we've had together, at least. Unexpected, the way she showed up at my house, wanting to stay. And to more of my surprise, she somehow learned that she needed to stay away from her house when her father was there. It's obvious how much she has grown since we first met. Letting me in in small doses, I don't even think she realizes she's doing it.

But aside from us, the fact that she is allowing for someone else to take care of her, and willingly at that, tells me how much she has improved in just about everything else. And despite the fact she won't fully explain to me everything I wish to know, I somehow think she has trusted my mom, and for her to trust someone is all she needs, even if it isn't me just yet.

I park the car in front of her house, not wanting to drop her off here. The solemn look on her face tells me she feels the same. We both know that her father isn't home, his rusty old truck gone from the driveway, and she's safe where she is for the time being. But that doesn't mean I want her to go. Things will have to go back to the way they were before she showed up on my doorstep just a few days ago, and at the moment, that's the last thing I want.

"It's kind of weird coming back here," she says, taking her seat belt off and sighing. "I guess I'll see you at school tomorrow."

Her eyes don't light up the way they were most of the trip back here as she looks at me, and it's as if the bubble we were in suddenly popped, reality setting back in. I'm not ready for this roller coaster to see another twist just yet, but I have a feeling the ride won't be as steady once she gets out of the car.

"Jayde," I say, when she opens the car door to get out, making her turn back to me. I lean over and she allows for our lips to crash together one last time. Although I know it's not the last time I'll get this from her, the way she kisses me so fiercely makes me think somehow this is a goodbye, and not just until tomorrow.

As quickly as our lips had met, it's only moments later she's disappearing into her backyard from the side of her house, not using the front door as usual. The silence I'm surrounded in now that she's gone doesn't go unnoticed as I make my way back home.

This girl has done a number on me.

I take Jayde's prom dress and my new suit into the house and hang them in the closet in the spare room. The room still smells like Jayde's perfume, the intoxicating scent that I can never get enough of, and I decide to sit down on the bed and message her.

But not as me. As Boy_Undiscovered, messaging Girl_Disconnected. Because I don't want her to know that I miss her already. I don't want her to realize what she's done to me just yet, and as I always do, I use the benefits of having someone to hide behind to talk to her. Because I know that she trusts him much more than she trusts me.

Boy_Undiscovered:

Hey, sorry I didn't reply for the last little while. I've been kind of busy.

I get comfortable on the bed waiting to see if she'll reply, unsure if she will. I did ignore her for a while when things were on a downward spiral with us. I probably shouldn't have, because I don't want her to think she doesn't have me—or rather, him—to talk to.

Girl_Disconnected:

That's okay. After I read your last blog post, I figured you were busy with her, now that you've realized she loves you.

I take a moment to decide my next message. Maybe I shouldn't have posted what I did a few days ago. I realize there are multiple things I probably shouldn't have written, especially after knowing who she is. I don't want her to know who I am, at least not yet, and I'm hoping that she won't put the pieces together. I'm surprised she hasn't already. I found it fairly easy.

Boy_Undiscovered:

Nah, things with her didn't work out. What I thought, was wrong. She doesn't love me. But I don't want to talk about her. How's things with you?

She doesn't reply and I wonder if she's going to at all. I'm more than certain she's going to tell me that things are good, if she does message me back, because of the weekend we just had together. She was so happy today. Happier than I have ever seen her.

Mom walks in the room, surprising me, not realizing she is home from work. She looks at me just as surprised.

"Where's Jayde?" she asks. "She didn't go home already, did she?"

"Yeah, I dropped her off when we got back into town," I tell her, a frown settling on her face. "We got our stuff for prom. It's in the closet if you want to see it."

A smile appears as she walks over to the closet and takes out the dress Jayde picked out. Her smile only grows as she looks at it, and I find myself wondering how my sweet girl will look in it. It didn't surprise me she wouldn't let me see it on her, telling me I'll have to wait until prom night for that. So flirty, she can be. So damn sexy and flirty.

Remembering we were having a conversation, I look back down at my phone to see that she still hasn't replied.

"She'll look absolutely beautiful in this," mom gushes, before laying it on the bed and taking my suit out of the closet and sitting it next to the dress. "And you got a tie to match her dress!"

I roll my eyes at how it looks like mom might cry of happiness at this very moment. I know that she loves Jayde as if she were her own daughter, but I also know that she wants for us to be together. She thinks the two of us are good for each other, that we can help each other in ways only we would know how. And I know that her thinking this has everything to do with our father's being alike, but I'd like to think that it's for better reasons than that.

"Hey, Mom?" I say, after looking back at my phone again and seeing no reply from Jayde. "I'm happy you're willing to do what you do for her. She really needs someone like you in her life. Her mom is a drunken basket case."

"You know how I feel about her, Harry," she says. "And yes, I know her mother is, well, not so much of a mother to her."

"Does she tell you things?" I ask. "I mean, recently?"

"Yes, Harry, she does," she answers, making me sit up straight. I knew she trusted her with things she doesn't talk to me about. "But I can't tell you."

"Why not?" I ask, slouching back against the wall.

"Because she would know I told you," she sighs, sitting on the end of the bed. "Jayde needs someone to trust. If I told you, I would break her trust and she might not come back here. We just need to be what she needs. And right now, all we need to do is give her a place to feel safe. Give her the kind of love that she's not used to. She will tell you when she's ready—if she's ready. But until then, just be there for her—on her terms."

I feel my phone vibrate in my hand, making me look down at the device.

Girl_Disconnected:

Sorry to hear about the girl. If it makes you feel any better, I think she's stupid for not knowing what she had. It's her loss.

And things are actual shit right now, but whatever.

Things are shit?

I feel my whole body slump, seeing the words written in front of me. Apparently when I think everything is about to stay afloat, when this roller coaster just might not take another turn, I'm left with nothing but this unbearable sinking feeling, and I'm unsure of how much more I can handle.

***********

P.S. Don't forget to enter the 130+ #WattpadBlockParty Giveaways! Clickable links are at the top of my Wattpad profile! :)

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