There comes a time in life when we must all face the music. Whether it's staring into the eyes of our own reflection in a mirror, or gazing at the stars on the night of a full moon, we all get to a place of considerations that question who we are and where we want to go in life. Regardless of age, there is a dreamer in each of us who desperately wants nothing more than to succeed at being his or her own self. The sad thing is there are more times than not, when we know absolutely nothing at all pertaining to how to do it. We go from season to season, chapter to chapter, in and out trying to put a finger on what we think is wrong or missing. Then, we accept we have either already done our best, or we are incapable of doing anything more. That, my friend, is when we must decide to do it again or die trying.

Had someone told me it would take four decades to release my fear of failing, I would have outright denied having any. Twenty years ago, I may have admitted some, but certainly not all. Today, I say what the heck. "What changed?" you might ask. "Perception". You see, I understand that the more I live, the bigger I dream. Then, I spend the next 24 hours trying to accomplish this next small feat that rolls into an even bigger feat. I don't know how, but it goes with another piece of a puzzle I either started years ago or will start in years to come. And, I go through this continuous nightmare, day in and day out, trying to live before I die.

Think about this: the older we get, we come to the realization that we are not who we think we are. And, as soon as we think we have it figured out, it changes again. Then, we decide to stop trying to convince others as soon as we stop trying to convince ourselves. It's because we evolve. We also recognize we have usually wasted valuable time and/or resources living a lie. We accept that one day, sooner or later, we will have lived and left nothing to show for it. We will have spent all of our days searching, but never obtaining; fighting our nightmares on the way to our dreams.

Am I saying dreams are bad? Absolutely not. I am saying once you understand the context in which we must dream, you will understand the concept in which we must die. That thought alone scares me, because it's a constant reminder that there are going to be some circumstances and situations in life we are going to wish we didn't have to go through in order to achieve whatever manner of success we deem successful. The confusion of all that alone gives me chills. We can't always do what we want; we must do what is needed. We can't always have what we want; we must take what we can get. We fight and we gravel... then we wake up and realize it's with ourselves.

Think about it, growing up we think we have our whole lives ahead of us. We even convince ourselves we know just enough to get "it" done. Whatever "it" is, at whatever age or season "it" happens, we know "it" all. Then, what happens? We grow up. (We also grow out, but that's another topic for a different day.) And, in all of our growing, one thing remains: we are clueless—in most instances—how we ended up where we are and how to get the heck outta there.

Like a bad scene in a haunted house, we see everything happening around us and yet continue to forge our way through in the midst of everyone else's screams. They scream. Our flesh jumps. They squeal. We gasp. But, we keep going further in. Unless you're me. I have been known to turn around halfway through a haunted house. I know what the rules are. I know what the signs say. I'm just not going farther down a dimly lit hallway with frantic yells coming from the direction I'm headed in any more than I'm going to the moon with a qualified astronaut. Some things, I'm just not doing. And, at the top of that list is continuing to do some things the same. Especially, when there's an obvious way out.

Now, consider this. Life is not that way. In most cases, the only way out is to be buried 6 feet under. Those who have reached their final destination no longer have nightmares surrounding singing the perfect note, throwing the perfect pitch, building the biggest company or writing a best-selling novel. They don't have the worries of impressing their friends or avoiding their enemies. They don't have the luxury of living, so gone is the thought of dying. Not so with you and me. Each day we wake, we must be prepared to keep going. The question is, "Where?"

I have dreamed most of my life. I dreamed of my pre-school graduation at 4, my kindergarten graduation at 5, my middle school graduation at 13 and my high school graduation at 17. Years before either ever occurred. I dreamed of making the cheering squad, being voted most popular and going off to college. Fortunate for me, it all happened. Unfortunate for me, it all happened. I was used to things working out, so I never really had to work hard at anything. I just did things naturally. Then, one day, I had to learn to do life collectively. By myself, I was a superstar. In a role, I was not. Me, I rock. Me with a group of 20 others, I still want to rock. (Just being honest.) So, I struggled with not being overzealous, with not being compulsive, with giving others a chance to do... but it always seemed to take longer and I would jump in. I've always been a do-er. So, sitters annoy me. This is why I have constant nightmares. Because, I know where I am is not where I want to be, and getting there is going to take a lot of effort. Sure, I could become a sitter. But, where's the fun in that? Sitters don't have nightmares. Why? Because, sitters are dying. And, nightmares are for the living. Dreams are for the dying.

Day in and day out, we plan our lives according to our hopes and dreams. What we want to do, what we think we're good at, what we think will pay us the most money. Then, we dream until we pass out (anywhere from 8-12hrs of good sleep) and start all over again in the morning. Why is that? What reason could we possibly have for going through the motions of life without a map or blueprint of some sort, full of hope and aspiration? Because, dreams are God's way of reminding us we have a purpose greater than ourselves, and the nightmares are the enemy's confirmation of it. That's what I have learned as I've had to fight myself to keep going, never give up, never stop writing, never stop believing.

Sometimes, we just don't know where to start. Other times, we just don't know where we will end up. I can attest to that, because ironically I ended up writing a short-story less than a week ago (in 30hrs). Had I planned to? Nope. Did I know about it? Nope. It just happened. One minute, I was thinking. The next, I was typing. And, a beautiful little bundle of joy appeared. Ok, not quite like that. However, my point is I set out to do business as usual, when suddenly I had to ask myself who are you now, and who do you want to be? Then, all of a sudden, I had another book entitled, "My Wattpad Experience: The Journey of A Thousand Words." And, do you know what? I still can't believe it. But, I am thrilled.

Daily we are all dying. We cannot change that. We can try to deny it, but we can't change it. So, what do we do about it? We die trying. That's the best answer. We can dream all day and live life as hopeless romantics in a best-selling love story, or we can fight our way through our daily nightmares of (in my case) simply getting out of bed. No matter what we do, we must do it well. Because, at the end of the day, nightfall is coming. And, we all know what happens in the dark will come to light. Let your "coming into the light" be your biggest dream yet.