“Oh, Zayn!” I cried, rushing to the screen as if that would allow me to get closer to you, to touch you somehow. “Oh, I've missed you! I've missed you so much!” I broke down into sobs, fiercely trying to regain control so we could talk.

“It's all right, love. I'm okay,” you said. You had moved close to the screen and placed your hand on it, trying to comfort me.

“I'm so glad,” I said, breathing a sigh of relief. Then I continued, “Don't worry, baby, I'll do whatever I can to get you out of here.”

You're face widened into a deep smile when I called you baby.

My brother cleared his throat.

“Oh, Zayn, I forgot. This is my brother, Nolan. Nolan, this is Zayn.”

You replied with a very generous, “Nice to meet you, Nolan,” while Nolan just nodded curtly. Obviously, you weren't on his good side. He was still somewhat convinced that you had kidnapped his baby sister, or at the very least, you were irresponsible enough to take her far away without letting her contact anyone to tell them she was safe.

“Did they hurt you, Zayn?” I asked. “It almost killed me to see them tackle you to the ground in the cabin. I've been so worried about you.”

“I'm all right, love, really. How about you?”

“I was in the hospital in Winnipeg for a few days, and then when I came home, no one would tell me where they were holding you. I had no idea if you were still in Churchill or Winnipeg, but I just found out today that you were here. Otherwise, you know I would have come sooner. I could hardly sleep, I was so worried.” I was kind of rambling, but I wanted to be sure that you knew I wasn't just ignoring you.

“Love,” you said, getting my full attention. “No more worries, okay. I'm fine. I'll be fine.”

“Okay,” I whispered. “Okay.” And I started crying again. I wanted to hold you again so badly that my arms actually hurt. So I told you. “I want you to hold me.”

“I know, love,” you consoled me.

“And I want to kiss you,” I said, crying even harder. “I just want to kiss you!”

Again, you just said, “I know. Me too.”

I stood there, directly in front of the screen, trying to make myself believe that I was standing right next to you. “Do you have a lawyer?” I asked.

“Court-appointed, yes.”

“I will try to get you a private lawyer. And you need some counseling, okay, baby?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“I talked to my counselor yesterday and I told her everything about your parents and your grandfather. You're a hero, Zayn, and don't you forget that!”

You smirked a little and just said, “Thanks, love.”

I knew I wasn't allowed to stay very long, but I promised you, “I will come visit you every day until this is all worked out. And then we can be together. What I told you at the cabin was true – I love you and I want to be with you.”

You looked at me and with the most sincerity I've ever seen in your eyes, you said, “I love you, too.”

But I couldn't leave without trying to fill you in on my “alterations” of our story. I got your full attention one last time.

“Zayn, listen to me,” I said sternly. You looked into my eyes with your beautiful ones. “I'm so sorry all of this happened. It's all my fault,” I began. And then I wanted to make sure you understood what I was trying to communicate as I spoke the words carefully: “I've told everyone that I chose to go with you. And I told them that we both forgot our phone chargers so we couldn't contact anyone.” I was trying so hard to make it sound like I was just rehashing details that we both already knew, but I hoped you would pick up on the emphasis I was putting on some of them. Obviously, I couldn't just come right out and say, “I lied for you.”

“It's hard to get anyone to believe me. Please don't lie for me, okay? I told them that I was so stressed out with school and that I just kind of...snapped. I'm so sorry they think that you kidnapped me. It's all my fault,” I said, starting to cry again, but this time I was forcing it. “I can understand why they'd think that-”

A very large and intimidating prison guard barged into the room. “Ms. Tatum, your visit is over!” Then the screen flickered off.

“You didn't even let me say good-bye!” I cried.

“Rules are rules,” he said.

I turned to see Nolan still standing there, a stoic expression on his face.

As we walked out of the facility, he was silent. Before getting into my car, I said, “See you at home, okay?”

He just nodded and then got into his car and drove away.

I was so relieved that I was able to see you. I think the sleepless nights were getting to me because when I got home, I fell asleep and napped for several hours.

When I woke, I felt better than I had ever since we left the cabin. I laid there for a bit, trying to decide what I had to do next. I reached under my pillow to fluff it up and I felt your journal, which I had stashed there.

I pulled it out and began to lovingly run my hands over the art work you had made on the cover. I loved the way you had etched my name in gold.

What was I going to do with this? I couldn't imagine the police would ever have reason to search my home for any evidence against you, but I couldn't take any chances. I carefully opened the door to my room and looked to see if anyone was around. The house was fairly quiet.

I went to the living room and the fire in the fireplace was dwindling, so I stoked it and added a few logs. Once the fire was roaring again, I threw the journal into it.

I stood there, watching and sobbing as the journal was consumed. I hated that all those beautiful words and moments were just...gone. When there was nothing left but ash, I decided what I had to do next.

I immediately got to work, searching the internet for the best lawyer in Grand Forks. I had no idea how I was going to pay a lawyer, but I couldn't think about that right now. We had to have someone on our side.

One name came up again and again as I searched using different parameters: Janeen C. Stallings.

I wasted no time in calling her office. The receptionist informed me that Janeen was not available at the moment, but that she would return my call by the end of the day. When I told her who I was, she said, “Ms. Stallings will be very interested in talking with you.”

I was thankful that things were beginning to move in our favor.

When Janeen called back, however, she had the same misunderstanding as everyone else.

“Hello, River,” she said politely. “I'm so glad that you called our office. Now, I understand that you would like me to represent you in your case against Mr. Zayn Malik.”

Oh, my gosh! Everyone in the whole city had already decided you were a villain!

“No, ma'am, I actually wanted to enlist your help to get him out of jail.”

“Oh,” she said, clearly at a loss for words.

“You see, he didn't kidnap me. It was just a big misunderstanding and now no one believes me. I chose to go with him. He didn't force me to do anything.”

She found her voice again and suggested, “Well, we should meet some time soon so we can discuss the details then.”

“How much do you charge? I'm not really sure how I'm going to pay for this, but it's very important to me.”

“Well, let's discuss that when we meet, shall we? I won't charge you for our first session. If I end up representing Mr. Malik, the financial obligation would be his anyway.”

I didn't want you to have any additional expenses, but I wanted to help you in any way possible. So I agreed and set up an appointment time with Janeen.

I had just hung up the phone when Nolan knocked on my bedroom door which was partially open.

“Hey, Nolan,” I said, waving for him to come in.

He came and sat on my bed like he always used to do. “Hey, sweetie. What are you doing?”

“I just got off the phone with a lawyer. She agreed to meet with me about representing Zayn. I know it sounds crazy, Nolan, but-”

He held up his hand for me to stop talking. “River, listen, I-”

“No, Nolan, please just hear me out,” I said impatiently.

“No, you hear me out!” He said sharply, but then he laughed and blurted out, “I believe you.”

“What? Really?” I asked excitedly. “Really?!” And I threw myself at Nolan, hugging him like crazy. “So what made you change your mind?”

“Meeting him,” Nolan simply said.

“Really?” I asked again as I cocked my head.

“Yeah, I guess I don't exactly know what I expected, but Zayn wasn't it.”

I encouraged him to go on.

“I guess maybe I thought he'd be defensive, or that I'd catch a glimpse of how he treated you, and I did, but it wasn't bad. I expected that he would have some weird power over you, some domineering attitude, or maybe some weird sexual vibe that had you under his spell.”

“Nolan!” I shrieked with laughter. “So he didn't seem like a psychopath, right? Because he's not.”

“No, River. I only saw one look on his face while we were there, and that look was for you alone.”

“And?”

“He's in love with you,” Nolan concluded.

I hugged him again and then I asked if he would come with me to the meeting with the lawyer the following day. He agreed.

We drove up outside the office of Janeen C. Stallings just before 1:00 PM. Nolan turned off the car and looked at me.

“Riv, will you please tell me one thing before we go inside?”

“Sure, Nolan.”

“Will you promise me that you're telling the truth?”

In that moment I had to decide whether I was going to stick to this story until the day I died. I would never be able to go back and change my story to fit some other circumstances. I just had to hope and pray that my story was close enough to Zayn's, or the one I had fed to him the day before, that we could both walk away clean. But I would have to carry this lie with me for the rest of my life. If I told the truth, Zayn would end up in prison, for sure, and I might do some time as well. And heaven knows, my family would never approve of my relationship with him if they knew the truth. I had only one option, and that was to lie for the sake of everyone I loved.

That option still put me at risk because there was a possibility that you would either insist on telling the truth, or that you wouldn't catch on to anything I tried to communicate with you and continue with you story the only way you knew it. Regardless of the risk, I had keep my story as the only story.

“Yes, Nolan, I'm telling you the truth.”

When we arrived in Janeen's office, I was surprised to find that she was quite young. But she had a solid reputation, so I trusted my choice.

“Hello, River, I'm Janeen Stallings,” she said with a smile.

“Nice to meet you, Ms. Stallings,” I said. “This is my brother, Nolan. I hope it's okay that he came along.”

“That's perfectly fine,” she said, and if I didn't know better, I'd think that her gaze rested on my brother for just a few moments too long.

“Thank you, Ms. Stallings,” he said.

“Please,” she said, “call me Janeen.”

We sat down and got right to business. “So, let me make sure I understand this correctly: You willingly went with Zayn Malik to a remote cabin in the wilderness of Northern Canada when you were supposed to be on a ski weekend?”

“Yes, Ma'am,” I replied as politely as possible.

“So, you are claiming that Mr. Malik has been wrongfully arrested and imprisoned?”

“Yes,” I said, nodding emphatically.

“All right then, River. Please start from the beginning and tell me the entire story.”

I mentally rolled my eyes, tiring of this whole re-telling of my account every time someone new wanted to hear it. I began, painstakingly telling every detail, most of them factual, some of them altered enough to make my story seem believable, but every detail identical to the ones I had told to everyone else.

“I was driving to Frost Fire Ski Resort when my tire blew out. Zayn stopped to help me. I took my purse and got into his car so he could take me somewhere to get my car towed.”

“Why didn't you try calling anyone on your cell phone?” Janeen asked.

Oh, crap. You had stolen my cell phone at that point, but I had told everyone that I had it. It would have made sense for me to use it... Think, River, Think.

Finally, I answered, “Well, actually, I couldn't find my phone at first. I remember searching frantically through my purse and I couldn't find it.” That part was still true. “But then Zayn knocked on my window and asked if I needed a lift. I figured it would be easier than calling and waiting for a tow truck.”

“So you just went with a complete stranger?” She pressed.

“Well, he wasn't a complete stranger,” I said. “I'd seen him around Grand Forks before. He seemed harmless.”

“You realize that was a pretty foolish thing to do, right? To accept a ride with someone just because he looked familiar?” Janeen asked.

“Yes, I know. I was just in a hurry to get my car fixed, so I guess I wasn't thinking. The stress of my first semester in college was really weighing on me.”

“So, how did a ride to a repair shop turn into flying to his cabin in Churchill?”

“Well, I asked him where he was headed and he told me that he had a cabin in Manitoba, way out in the wilderness. He described the place to me and it sounded charming. I casually told him that it sounded nice and that maybe I should visit some time.”

“You were flirting with a guy you didn't even know?” Nolan interrupted.

“Is that flirting?” I asked innocently.

They both nodded.

“Okay, then I guess I was. Anyway, he asked if I wanted to go then, and that's when something in me just kind of...let go. I was so ready to let go of all my responsibilities and just relax for a weekend. That sounded even better than skiing.”

“How did you get a plane ticket to Churchill?” Janeen asked.

“Zayn bought one for me in Winnipeg.”

“So, a stranger bought you a plane ticket and you still didn't think any of this was weird or irresponsible. Weren't you afraid that he might do something to you, taking you out into the middle of nowhere?”

Gosh, this story was making me sound like an idiot.

“I can't explain it, I was just so eager to get away from all the stress at that point, that I didn't think through all the possibilities of my actions. Looking back, I would say it wasn't the wisest choice, but it all turned out all right,” I said confidently.

“Did it?” Janeen asked skeptically.

“I think so. I ended up falling in love. Wouldn't you agree that it turned out all right?” I asked.

“Are you covering for Zayn because you fell in love with him?”

“No, he never used any force against me. I was free to go at any time, and it was my decision to go with him.”

“I spoke with the chief of police,” Janeen began. “He said the tip about your location came from a man in Churchill, a man who flew the two of you to Zayn's cabin about 20 miles from Churchill.”

I nodded in agreement.

“But the man told the police that you were unconscious during that time.”

Damn!

“What?!” Nolan barked.

I breathed in deeply and said, “I took something for anxiety in Winnipeg because I don't like flying. It didn't really kick in until we had almost landed in Churchill. By the time we got onto the private plane, I was sound asleep and Zayn couldn't wake me.”

“What medication did you take?” Janeen asked.

Damn it! Why hadn't I thought this through in more detail?

“It was something that Zayn gave me, actually. I don't know what it was called.” Okay, I was still telling the truth here, with just some minor modifications.

“Was it a prescription medication?” She asked.

Damn, this woman wouldn't quit!

I had no idea how to answer because I truly didn't know what you gave me. You told me it was just a sleeping pill. I assumed that a medication that knocked me out completely would have to be a prescription.

“Yes, I believe it was, but I'm not sure.”

“You didn't see the medication bottle?” She asked.

“No, he just dug it out of his bag.”

“Dammit, River!” Nolan shouted. “How could you be so stupid? First you take a ride with a guy you don't know, then you agree to get on a plane with him to go to some cabin out in the fucking wilderness, and then you take drugs from him? What the hell were you thinking?!”

I closed my eyes, fiercely trying to stop the tears that were stinging my eyes. I hated being called stupid and looking foolish by asserting that I made all these ridiculous choices. I hated that my brother was growing more and more disappointed in me. But most of all, I hated that you were behind bars, because I knew that you regretted what you'd done.

“What part of stressed out don't you understand, Nolan? I told you that I had a breakdown. You know, like a nervous breakdown, I guess. I'm not proud of what I did, so cut me some slack, for heaven's sake!”

“River, are you aware that it's a felony to either give or accept prescription drugs to a person other than to whom they are prescribed?” Asked Janeen.

No, I didn't know that. Thank you for adding that very helpful detail.

“No, Ma'am, I wasn't aware of that,” I mumbled in humiliation.

“Well, a judge may be lenient on that, if you can prove that you had some kind of panic attack or, as you called it, a nervous breakdown. I'd suggest you get your therapist on board with your story.”

Suddenly, it seemed like Janeen was no longer trying to find holes in my argument. I think she was giving me a hint – a very strong one – that we should lean very heavily on the idea that the stress of school triggered this bizarre series of decisions. I also had a feeling that a diagnosis of a mental breakdown would cover a lot of indiscretions.

I was beginning to breathe more easily as I realized that this might actually work.

“Okay, I just have a few other questions for you, Ms. Tatum,” she said.

“Of course,” I answered.

“Were you aware that Mr. Malik wrote in his journal about you, seemingly before he met you on November 26?”

“Yes, like I said, I'd seen him around Grand Forks before, so I guess he had noticed me, too, and he developed a crush on me.”

Then she pulled out the journal that you and I had read together. The one with the erotic poetry from the Bible. My heart leapt with excitement at seeing it. But Janeen opened it to a page marked with a sticky note. She began to read:

“My darling River,
I can't stop thinking about you
Your alabaster skin
Your flowing hair
Your abundant breasts
How I long for the day when I will take you
I will taste you and feel you
And make you mine.”

My face was positively on fire after that, partially from the desire behind your words, partially due to the fact that my brother was listening to this poetic description of you wanting to make love to me.

“It's beautiful,” I said.

“What do you think he meant when he wrote about that day he would take you?” Janeen asked.

“Isn't it obvious?” I said, scoffing a little. “In the context of that entry alone, as well as the context of the entire journal, it's clear he means he would take me as in to make love to me.” I couldn't decide if I wanted the ground to swallow me alive out of embarrassment that my brother was hearing all this or if I was going to burst into flames with desire for you.

“I suppose so,” Janeen agreed.

“Why do you think Zayn confessed to taking you against your will?”

“I'm guessing he was just protecting me. When we got to the cabin and discovered that neither of us had working phones, we knew my family and friends would be worried sick. He knew I'd have a lot of people worrying about me, and he had been planning the trip for himself, so no one would be worried that he was gone. I guess he just wanted to protect me; he didn't want it to look like I had flippantly decided to just take off and not notify my family."

“If you both had lost the use of your phones, how were you planning to get back from the cabin?”

“Well, Zayn had always arranged to have the private plane come back and get him on a certain date, but if he needed something sooner, he would use his satellite phone to call. Since the phone wasn't working, and Ferg – the pilot – wasn't due back until spring, we figured we'd have to wait until the weather was warm enough for us to hike to Churchill.”

“That's over twenty miles from the cabin,” she remarked.

“I'm a competitive swimmer,” I chuckled. “That's a walk in the park for me.”

“Did you know that Mr. Malik had three guns hidden in the cabin?”

Nolan shifted uneasily beside me.

“Yes, of course – to protect himself and me. In fact, he shot a cougar that was about to attack me, so I was very grateful he had them.”

“Oh, my god,” Nolan whispered when he heard that.

“Well, Ms. Tatum, I have no further questions. I will interview Mr. Malik, and then I will be in touch.”

“I'd like you to know something about him, and I am pushing for him to get psychological care: he is basically a ten-year-old trapped in a man's body.”

“Why do you say that?” She asked, legitimately curious.

Then I told her your whole story. She was visibly moved by your bravery and your fortitude. She finally said, “Yes, I can understand that he would have some issues after going through all of that and not really having anyone there to care for him.”

“Will you please make sure that someone is following up on this? I don't want it to slip through the cracks,” I pleaded.

“Yes, River, I will make sure he gets to speak with a psychologist.”

“Thank you,” I said in relief.