"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." ― E.E. Cummings

Trigger warning - there is mention of a past sexual assault later in the chapter. It's not graphic, but I just wanted to give you all a heads up.

•••

The first traces of sunlight had just started to set the windows aglow as Oswald made his way down the hallway to the room he'd set up for Bird.

It had been another sleepless night for the crime lord; hours spent tossing and turning trying to find even a few minutes of rest for his weary mind.
What he wouldn't give for just an ounce of reprieve from the many fears that haunted him without end.

His pace slowed as he neared the large closed doors of Bird's room; despite their argument the night before, he knew she was in there.

He'd been told by one the guards that she'd returned home at a late hour and was visibly upset.

The last he'd seen or heard from his best friend was that she was off to meet someone who might be able to help them with their Theo Galavan problem; but since she hadn't sought him out after returning –he assumed her lead had fallen through.

As quietly as possible, Oswald, turned one of the door handles and leaned against the door to push it open just enough to see that Bird was lying in the middle of the large bed sound asleep.

He couldn't be entirely sure why he'd been so harsh and cold with her the day before.
After all, time and time again she'd proved to be the only real friend and ally he had.

There were a million excuses he could make up; the top of the list being how he couldn't remember the last time he got more than an hour of sleep at night.

But the excuses were just that and as he crossed the room and gently sat down on the side of the bed he found himself thinking how cruel the reality of it was –how easily a person could hurt the ones they love the most; if for no other reason than simply wanting someone to share in the misery with.

With cold, nearly trembling fingers, he reached out and gently brushed some stray hair from her face while he internally swore that he had to treat her better.

If something happened to his mother, though the idea of feeling a loss that great burned away at his center, he knew it was a possible and likely outcome; but if he lost his mother then Bird would be the only thing he'd have left in the world that held any real importance to him.

Pulling his hands away from her before she woke up, he let them rest on the soft blanket he was sitting on.

For all of the brutality the world had shown him –nothing ever seemed quite so bad with her at his side.

Before he was even fully aware of the thoughts forming in his mind, his fingers violently gripped onto the blanket and his knuckles turning ghostly white.
It was true, just having her in his life made the overcast city a little brighter, but how long until she left again?

How long before something better came along and she'd so easily leave him and everything they shared behind –just as he felt she'd done before.

His teeth gritted together painfully hard. With aching gums and a collapsing feeling in his chest he wondered just how long they'd have together this time before the next Harvey Dent came along and would surely sweep her off her feet, just as the last one had.

Where would that leave him?
Cast by the wayside and waiting in the wings for when she'd finally come to her senses again?

"No!" He audibly grumbled to the near soundless room; that wouldn't ever happen again.
Oswald cared for her in a way that he'd never cared for anyone else and he was done letting her go.

His anger quickly halted when Bird started to stir.
With wide eyes he watched as her formerly relaxed expression turned into a grimace and she moved her head around on the pillow.

Which demons were haunting her dreams tonight, he wondered.
Staying perfectly still, he waited until he was positive she wasn't on the verge of waking up before he stood back up to leave her be.

If she woke up to find him in her room, she'd surely be angry all over again.
Mentally, he knew he needed to move towards the door.
Vacate the room before she woke up.

Physically, however, he just couldn't get his legs to move.

There was black sadness he just couldn't shake, so strong that it felt like it had carved and hollowed out his very soul.

Everything was supposed to be different now.

This was the point in his life when all the risks and sacrifices should be paying off.

He was a king now –something he'd fought tooth and nail to achieve. He'd taken risks so big that he'd nearly gotten killed several times on his way to taking over the city.
He'd even resorted to endangering Bird's life a few times when he deemed the danger necessary.

But that was all over now; he'd come a long way from being Fish Mooney's umbrella boy.
He was supposed to be at the top of the food chain now –only it was becoming increasingly clear that -that wasn't the case.

He'd make Galavan and his sister pay dearly what they'd put him through.
Only not yet, not while they had his mother; no, putting her life in even greater peril wasn't worth it.

For now he'd have to bide his time; do Galavan's bidding and hope that Butch would be able to get a lead on where they were holding her.

Once she was safe was when he'd make his move and let the streets run red with the blood of anyone else who'd dare rise against him.

Taking one last look at his sleeping friend, he turned to leave in hopes that when she awoke she might join him for breakfast and no longer be so angry with him.

"Oswald?"

Bird's hoarse voice was just loud enough to carry to where he was standing.

His shoulders stiffened at being caught sneaking about her room –again.

"Bird." He stammered, turning to face her as he nervously fiddled with his tie, "Good morning."

With a groan she sat up and rubbed her bloodshot eyes.

Not even looking at him, she questioned what time it was –only to irritate him when she didn't bother waiting for his answer and grabbed her cellphone to see for herself.

Sighing heavily, she began to throw the blankets off of her.

"Where are you going?" He asked, hobbling back over to the bed.

"I've got things to do."

His face wrinkled with the apathetic tone in her voice.

He'd take her fiery rage over indifference anytime of any day.

"It's barely even light outside!" He exclaimed with a bounce as he motioned to the curtains.

"You're telling me." She grumbled, as she slid off the mattress and took a few moments to stand still and let her groggy mind catch up to her body.

"Well..." He cleared his throat, waiting on a response from her.
An explanation of where she was headed to so early –maybe even of who she'd met with the day before.

When Bird's eyes met his, she cocked her head to the side as she waited for him to continue what he'd started to say.
In response, he impatiently raised his eyebrows at her.

"What?" Bird finally asked with bloodshot squinted eyes.

"Where are you off to?" He pushed in a tone of voice as if he were merely stating the obvious question and she was wasting his time by making him voice it out loud.

Ignoring his question, she fired back with one of her own, "How long have you been in here?"

He watched as her eyes darted towards the top of her dresser and the vanity where all of her favorite perfumes and lotions were lined up in neat rows of three.

Bird surveyed them closely to make sure nothing was out of place.
She couldn't even begin to count the number of times he'd been in her apartment and moved her possessions around.

"Bird?" Oswald asked, drawing her from her concentration, "About what I said to you yesterday-"

"Don't." She stopped him, holding up a hand to further signal his silence, "I can't get into this right now.

"I'm trying to apologize." He defended, his mouth angling down at the corners, "Make amends."

"I can't." Bird breathed, unable to muster even a tiny portion of strength to deal with him at the moment, "Oswald, I just... I can't right now, okay?"

"Oh... o-of course." He stuttered, taking a few steps away from her and even as every cell in his body was screaming that it wasn't okay, he feigned a smile, "We'll speak later."

•••

Letting herself in the door of Harvey's office, Bird shrugged off her coat and dropped it into one of the chairs facing his desk.

With an ever growing restless feeling, she sat in the chair next to the one occupied by her coat and drummed her fingers nervously on the large booklet of information she'd brought with her.

The seconds ticked by like hours and she found herself unable to sit still as she waited for him to return from wherever he was.
After what had happened yesterday, she had a feeling that if she called him to meet up –he'd decline.

So, she'd showed up at about the usual time he returned from his lunch break.

Her eyes roamed over the desk top where various folders and papers were scattered.
With lowered eyebrows, she wondered where he'd gone to in such a rush.
Harvey was always so neat and organized –for his workspace to be like that was out of character for him.

Standing up, she dropped the booklet she had into the chair and went around to the other side of the desk.
Visually checking the closed door of the office to make sure he wasn't about to walk in, Bird then got to work rummaging through the papers and folders.

Until she came across one that stopped her in her tracks; on the label tab of the manila folder it read it black lettering, 'Oswald Cobblepot aka The Penguin'.

Quickly moving it to the top of the mess, she opened it and scanned over several documents inside.
There were addresses of places of interest; she recognized one of the addresses as an offsite count house.

She read over papers listing out crimes they wanted to connect him to and towards the back of the folder was a long list of known associates and other people of interest.
Upon finding her own name on the list, her jaw tensed.

This was bad.

Usually the murmurs and rumors of the GCPD and the DA's office teaming up to take down a big player in the crime world were simply that –rumors; fleeting dreams and soon to be dashed hopes of the bright eyed rookies thinking Gotham had anything left to be saved.

But there she stood, holding proof in her hands that both offices were going to target Oswald. From the handwritten notes she'd glanced over –it seemed like the efforts had already begun.

Picking up the folder, she decided she'd come back and speak to Harvey another day –for today she needed to get the information she'd unearthed back to Oswald in hopes of them finding ways to either prevent what was happening or at least take steps to lessen the blows.

"Starling?" Harvey greeted as he came to an abrupt stop when he saw her.

"Harvey!" She called out in an unusually high voice.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, as he walked further into his office and shut the door behind him.
His eyes drifted down to where she was so clearly hiding something behind her back.

"I needed to talk to you about something." She plastered on a smile, "But it's getting late and I really should be going..."

"Mhmm..." He hummed, walking closer and setting his coffee down on the corner of his desk.

Keeping her arm curled behind her, Bird watched his movements with alert eyes and hoped that she'd be able to make a quick break before he realized anything was missing.

"Starling?" Harvey asked, his eyebrows raised as he moved closer to where she was standing.

"Yeah?" Bird replied.

"What are you hiding behind your back?"

The hundred watt smile she'd been wearing quickly faded and as he moved towards her –she backed up.

"It's nothing." She lied.

"It's not nothing." He argued with her, moving even closer and nearly boxing her into the corner between a large floor to ceiling wooden bookcase and the wall it was sitting against.

"Stop it!" She angrily raised her voice while using her free hand to swat his prying hands away as he tried to reach around her and take what she was hiding.

He'd just grasped onto the corner of the folder behind her back, when he quickly jerked his hand back with a hiss of pain.
Looking down to the red mark on his skin, he tried to keep a serious expression on his face but failed when a laugh accompanied his words, "Did you just pinch me?"

Despite her still narrowed eyes, Bird's lips curved up into a smile and she held back a laugh of her own.

When he went back for the folder, Bird complained with a chuckle, "Stop it, Harvey. I have to go. I'm supposed to meet someone."

"Why are you trying to hide a folder from me?" He pushed, still wearing the entertained smile.

"It's not important." Bird stated, using their height difference to her advantage when he tried to reach behind her again and she ducked under his arm.

But she didn't get to make it around the desk, before he caught up with her and after a slight struggle managed to pull the folder from her hands.

Turning around to face him, Bird backed up and winced as she backed right into the edge of the desk.

"What were you..." His voice trailed off and the formerly playful moment lost its light as he saw what she'd been trying to keep hidden.

"Harvey..." Bird breathed, stopping short of trying to give an explanation for her actions.
It wasn't needed after all. So instead she automatically added, "I'm sorry."

"Are you?" He questioned, stepping closer and leaving her feeling like she had nowhere to go with the desk just behind her, "Your apologies count for less and less every time I hear it."

"You're going to get me fired if you keep pulling stunts like this."
His tone was gruff and alongside the anger in his dark eyes –there were traces of sadness.
Lingering touches of heartache that seemed to flare up whenever she was in his sights.

"I'm not trying to." She swallowed hard.

"Then what are you trying to do?"

With a weak laugh, Bird dramatically shrugged her shoulders, "Trying to help a friend."

"At what cost?" Harvey shook his head, "How much more are you willing to pay for your so-called friendship with Penguin? When is enough finally going to be enough?"

"Probably never." Bird openly admitted, leaving Harvey with a dumbstruck expression and at an utter loss for words.

He'd have given anything up in order for her to gain the ability to see the situation clearly.
There was something about her bond with Oswald that always left her blind to see what was happening –or maybe just to jaded to care.

But it was hopeless, there wasn't anything in the world he could say to come close to fixing what was wrong.
For whatever reason she chose Oswald time and time again; and all he could do was stand by and watch her make the wrong decisions at every single turn.

"You can't do this." Bird finally spoke in a tone just above a whisper, "I know you think Oswald is the bad guy in this story, but I swear to you that he's not and right now is the worst possible time to make a move against him."

"He is a bad guy." Harvey argued, his eyes roaming her familiar face, "He's a criminal. Countless people are dead because of him-"

Pulling in breath and doing his best to keep his emotions in check, he finished, "I just wish you could see the truth."

"You cannot do this!" Bird argued with him as if the hurt and sincerity in his voice didn't come close to reaching her.

"It's already done." He silenced her, "Or at least it's started."

"What are you-"

Not even giving her a chance to finish her questioned he explained, "Captain Barnes and Jim led the strike-force to raid one of the count houses an hour ago."

Seeing the stunned expression on her face, Harvey nodded, "Close to thirty people were taken into custody; and this is just the beginning. Piece by piece; Cobblepot's empire is going to be dismantled until there's nothing left."

"You realize what that means, right?" Bird asked, running her tongue over her bottom lip, "That it's only a matter of time before the strike-force comes for me."

His mouth opened, but no words came out as his eyes glistened in the lighting of the room.
Finally, he managed to pull in a breath that actually felt like it filled his lungs and he leaned down closer to her face with his admission, "I know."

Diverting her gaze away from him and to the harsh midday sun pouring in through the blinds, she stared at the light until her eyes were burning from the brightness and not from the tears she could feel welling up.

"It's really happening then?" She asked, doing everything she could to keep from letting her trembling chin be noticed, "We're really on opposite sides of a war and you're willing to take me down."

"I don't want to." His open admission showed more emotion than he'd cared to have display, "But don't act like this is all on me. I never wanted this –but you made your decision. You're standing where you are because of your own choices."

"I suppose I am." Bird agreed, her voice having long since taken on an empty tone, "But you need to be careful. Talking about taking down Gotham's crime rings and then making it known that's what you're really planning –are two very separate things-"

"Are you..." Harvey's eyebrows lowered, "Are you threatening me?"

"No." Bird answered without missing a beat, her face twisting as she thought out loud, "Why does everyone always think I'm threatening them?"

Not giving him a chance to answer that over fifty-percent of what she says could easily be interpreted as threats, Bird added, "I'm just saying that you need to be cautious."

Placing her hands flat against his chest, she softly pushed him back to give herself enough room to step out from where she'd nearly been pinned.

Swooping up the booklet she'd brought with her, she dropped it onto his desk with a thud and said, "I had a state of the art security system installed at our..." clearing her throat and trying to ignore the slip up, "Your –at your house this morning and the team is still there working on it."

He looked down to the name of the security company listed on the book and then back to her.

"One of the guys is going to wait around there until you're home from work. He'll walk you through how it works and you'll need to set up a security code –don't tell anyone that code, not even me." Bird warned.

"Starling-"

"They're installing wall keypads in nearly every room of the house –each one has a panic button that will go straight to the GCPD so they can dispatch someone." Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a key fob and handed it to him, "Push this button and it also will alert the police –it can send your location to them-"

"A panic button?" Harvey asked, confused as he looked down to the key ring and questioned, "You really expect me to carry this?"

Bird stared at him, remaining silent as she opted out of telling him how any alarm triggers or his hitting the panic buttons would also send her an alert that he was in trouble.

"Starling?" He quietly asked, knowing that she didn't even go to these extremes when she was working for Falcone to ensure his safety, "What did you get yourself involved in?"

"These are just safety precautions." She tried to brush it off. Pretend like the stakes weren't really life or death.

"Safety... from what?" He pushed, "Penguin?"

"No." Bird answered, "You know where you stand with him."
Her eyes drifted down to the desk where there was a newspaper open to a picture of Galavan from when he'd announced he'd run for mayor.
"It's the threats who hide right in plain sight that I'm more concerned about –and you should be too."

"And what threats are those?" He walked closer to her, his breath catching in his throat.
He wasn't sure if what she was saying was real cause for concern of more conspiracy theories –but something had her spooked and that worried him.

"The threats you don't see coming, Harvey." Bird simply answered with a shrug, seeming to be disconnected from their conversation right as he felt like they were on the verge of her being honest with him.

"So, you come in here to tell me you've had security installed in my house and I'm supposed to carry around this panic button –which might I add, looks a lot like the ones from 'help, I've fallen and I can't get up' commercials. Talking about some huge threat –but you're not going to give me anymore information than that?" His eyes moved over her face again, "And I'm just supposed to take you at your word?"

"Yes." Bird violently nodded.

"Why?"

"Because it's me." She tossed her arms out to the sides, "And just because you can't see the danger –or believe it's all in my head, doesn't mean that it's not real. Something –someone bad is out there and I'm a target, which makes everyone I love fair game to them."

"On that logic..." He held out the key fob to her, "Shouldn't you be the one carrying this?"

With a small chuckle, Bird shook her head and pushed his hand away, "We both know if I called for help that no one at the GCPD is gonna rush to my aid."

"This is me, Harvey." Bird repeated, "You know me –pieces of me at least and that I'd do anything for you and right now I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"Honestly..." He breathed, closing his hand around the keychain and dropping his arm to his side in defeat he admitted, "I'm not so sure I ever really knew you at all."

Their eyes met and he continued, "And you'd do anything for me? Anything except make the right decisions, huh?"

As she stepped closer, he caught the last hints of a sad smile on her face just before she caught him off guard when she rose up and pressed her mouth to his.
Claiming his lips in a fervent kiss before he could even fully comprehend what was happening.

His grip tightened around the key ring in his hand, while the other hand landed on her side –his fingers curling into the fabric of her shirt and feeling the warm from her skin.

How quickly anger and pain could be washed away for even a moments reminder of how things used to be.

When she finally broke the kiss, she angled her face away to stop his attempt to kiss her again and as she caught her breath she whispered, "Your idea of 'making the right decisions', would have been me just doing what you wanted."

"I only ever wanted the best for you." He admitted, the broken expression returning to twist up his features.

"I know." Bird agreed, slowly reaching down and removing his hand from where it was still nestled at her waist.

Looking down she intertwined their fingers, just like she used to, before looking back to his face and openly admitting, "I'd die for you, Harvey. I mean that –I'd jump in front of a bullet headed your way without a single second thought. But I can't –and I won't live for you. We have two very different ideas of right and wrong and it doesn't matter how much I still care about you... I'm done twisting and cutting away at who I am to fit into the mold that other people think I should. I am who I am."

He swallowed hard, not able to think of a single word to say while he watched her pick up her coat and walk out of the door.
Once she was out of sight, he looked back down to where he could still feel the warmth of her touch and hung his head.

She was right; they were two very different people and despite the theory that opposite's attract –maybe there was too much that was dissimilar between them for their relationship to have ever had a real shot.

Bird had told him from the beginning that they were doomed.
He could still remember the night Oswald came looking for her at their house and before Harvey had run him off –her friend had left him with a warning; to enjoy the time he had with her because the clock was ticking.
"You can only keep a wild animal caged for so long and you see... my Bird grows restless often –she doesn't do well when caged."

Maybe the signs were there all along and they never truly had a shot at forever –but damn if there weren't moments where he felt like they could overcome hurdles placed in their path.

•••

"Interesting spot you chose." Lily pointed out as she looked up to see her biological daughter approaching her; she stood to greet her, but Bird ignored both the comment and the polite gesture as she dropped into a seated position on the stone steps by the fountain in the park.

Bird looked around, brushing her windblown short hair from her face and remembering the day she'd brought Liza to the park and sent her to those very same steps to cross paths with Falcone.

"Yeah..." Bird breathed as she opened up the small brown paper bag and threw some bits of bread out onto the pavement and watched as the birds flocked in to snatch up some food, "These birds don't eat near as well as they used to with Falcone gone."

Brushing off her skirt, Lily sat back down on the steps and looks around as a ghost of a smile tilted her lips, "He always loved coming here to feed the birds."
With her head cocked slightly the side she added, "Not exactly what one would expect from a mobster."

"He wasn't all bad." Bird quietly added, not looking at Lily while she tossed out some more bits of bread. Blowing out a sigh, she added, "You know –except for the time he backhanded me across the face, and then the time he had my boyfriend beat so severely he ended up in the hospital."

There was a vacant look in her eyes as she further recalled, "Oh, yeah, and the time he strangled my friend to death right in front of me."

Turning some on the steps, Lily questioned, "Your friend?"

Nodding and starring off into the distance, Bird admitted, "More so mine and Fish's sacrificial little lamb. I didn't even know her last name, but yes –I considered her a friend."

Lily grew a little confused by Bird's choice in conversation, but somehow the harrowing topic was still the most civil talk they had shared.

"I'm sorry." Lily said, sounding sincere as her dark eyes took on a look of sadness, "You understand it though, right? Those situations like that are exactly why I never wanted you in this in that life. Why I didn't want you to grow up knowing him as your father."

"No." Bird stared her down, "I still don't understand it and I don't trust you."

"I hope in time-"

"Time?" Bird scoffed, "I feel like that's the one thing I don't have much of anymore."

"Why would you say a thing like that?" Lily asked, clearing her throat and glancing around them, "You're so young, you've got your whole life-"

"Only I'm not." Bird cut her off, "I never was young –you made sure of that. Because of the choices you made for both of us, I had to grow up quicker than anyone ever should. So don't let this body fool you –I'm much older than I look."

"Let's just get this over with, huh?" Bird asked, tossing another handful of bread out to the birds, before laying the bag down beside her and turning to face the woman who'd given birth to her, "You're back in Gotham because you want to get to know me. Ask your questions."

"My questions?" Lily nearly choked on her words, "I... I don't even know where to begin."

"Really?" Bird feigned surprise, "So in the over twenty years since you left me on church steps and just walked away –in all that time you never thought up a single question you had?"

Rubbing her forehead in a similar manner to how Bird did when she got overwhelmed, Lily gave an exasperated sigh, "I want to know everything there is to know about you. I want to know you –but to cram so many years into one afternoon... it's impossible."

"Maybe I should start then?" Bird offered, not giving her time to agree.

"One night, when I was fifteen –I snuck out and caught a cab into the city. The air in Wayne Manor was particularly suffocating that night and I'd heard about this huge underground party. I should have just taken a cab back home –but you see, after the rave I was still pretty wasted and I didn't want to get in trouble for drinking again. A walk in the cold night air seemed like a good way to sober up, and lets be honest, I didn't really want to be home anyways." Bird recalled, swallowing hard as she could smell the stale city air just like she'd went back in time to that very night, "It happened so fast, you know? One minute I was walking and it was starting to snow and the next thing I know someone pulled me into an alley. I think I was in a state of shock through most of it... but I can still remember the smell of his breath in my face, and how his hands on my body somehow felt colder than the snow covered pavement against my bare back and..."

Shaking her head, she gave a shrug and seemed to push the emotional response to what had happened to her out of the conversation and in a new empty voice she added, "And after he was done; after I was all used up –he shot me and then he walked away. Left me crying, curled up in a bleeding, naked ball on the ground like I was a piece of trash someone tossed out of their car window when they drove by."

It wasn't until she paused for a breath that she finally looked back up to see a tear spill out of Lily's eye and run down her cheek, Bird glanced down to her quivering chin and sighed, "Don't cry for me, I lived after all."

"I'll skip the boring parts about how I couldn't deal with what I'd gone through –went mute for months and ended up in a crazy house." Bird waved her hand through the air and ignored Lily as she tried to get a word in, "Fast-forward to a few years later when I was on the verge of turning eighteen and the nightclub I worked in got raided and a bunch of us were going to get arrested for one reason or another, they'd handcuffed us to a rail outside of the building while they tore the place apart and I couldn't get arrested. I was close to legally being an adult and being able to take off on my own and my parents didn't want me to. I couldn't risk them using this arrest as something to use against me, they wanted me to go back into in-patient therapy. Guess I didn't come out normal enough the first time."

Shaking her head, Bird skipped to the point of her story, "I couldn't let that happen. I wasn't going to be a prisoner in someplace like that again. So, I broke my own thumb to slip out of the handcuffs and escape."

"Ahh, let's see... what else..." Bird hummed, keeping a close eye on her biological mother's horrified expression as she tapped on her own chin and pretended to be deep in thought.

"Ooh! I know!" She began, "Rewinding back to me being a close to death and nearly frostbitten mess in the alley –I would have died if someone hadn't found me and got help."

"Maria Mercedes Mooney." Bird fondly expressed, "Though almost everyone knew her as Fish Mooney. She was one of the most amazing people I've ever met; she's the one who found me and because of her, I lived."

Lily picked up the brown bag of bread pieces and pulled out a few pieces before tossing them out towards the fountain and waiting on her daughter to continue. She had no idea where these stories were going –but it was clear Bird wasn't going to stop until she'd made her point.

"It was during one of my many escapes from the looney bin that I met Oswald. He wanted to take over the city and I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted, but the life I was living sure wasn't it. So we devised a plan to take Falcone down. Because of Fish being the one who saved me and her being one of Falcone's top underbosses... I was the way to get our feet through the door."

Gazing out to where the birds were still flocking to the bread, Bird said, "Long story short; I worked under Fish for years –the entire time plotting her demise and knowing that one day she'd inevitable die at one of our hands; and she did."

Standing up, Bird dusted off her pants as she warned, "And I loved her –at times I even adored her and I stood there idly when Oswald killed her." Bird followed her mother's gaze as she stood up, "That's who I am. I don't ever give up, apparently I'll do just about anything to get what I want and am unusually hard to kill. So now you understand what you're up against."

"We're not enemies-" Lily tried to finally get a word in, but she wasn't given much of an opportunity to do so.

"I know you're connected to Theo Galavan." Bird bluntly stated catching her entirely off guard, "And I know he's either the one who drugged and nearly killed me or he's somehow connected and I also know that he's holding Oswald's mother hostage."

"Take a minute and let it sink in." Bird nodded, "If I did all of that to Fish and I truly loved and cared about her –just imagine what I'm capable of doing to you; because your life holds absolutely no value in my eyes."

"You...you..." Lily stammered shaking her head back and forth, "You don't know what you're talking about-"

"I know that you're whole reasoning for coming back into my life is a lie. As you can see I have far too many of my own sad stories to give a damn about any of yours. You don't love me. You don't know the first thing about me. So you can either help me with the Theo Galavan sized pain in my ass or I will come at you with everything I have and if I find out you're planning to hurt Bruce or that you know where Gertrud Kapelput is being kept and you didn't help me –I'll kill you myself."

With that Bird adjusted her coat and briskly walked back to where she'd parked, causing the grounded birds to flutter away; darting off in all different directions.

She didn't let out the breath she'd been holding until she reached her car and was safely inside.

Leaning her head back against the headrest, she took a few moments to herself before she was about to start the car and there was a small ding from her purse.

Bird reached over to the bag and pulled out a small tablet. Swiping her finger across the screen to bring it to life, she watched as several smaller windows showed different rooms in the house she'd shared with Harvey.

When she'd told him about the security system, she'd purposely left out the detail about how she'd had the house wired with cameras –along with the fact that the video feeds live streamed to the tablet she wasn't going to let him out of her sight now.

Tapping the screen over the feed from the kitchen camera, it stretched to fill the entire screen and she watched as Harvey stood in front of the refrigerator for nearly a minute then shutting it and going over to the cabinet to bring down a bottle of top shelf liquor.

When someone knocked on her car window, she startled enough that she nearly dropped the tablet. Once she saw it was Lily, she darkened the screen and slid the device back into her bag.

"You're right." Lily admitted once Bird stepped out of her car. The older woman rest her hands on her hips and leaned forward some like she was struggling to breathe.

"About what exactly?" Bird's eyebrows arched in wonder.

"Most of it." Tucking her long, raven hair behind her ears Lily said, "I'll be blunt about this –apparently that's something we have in common. You're right –I don't love you."

Barely giving herself enough time to inhale, she continued, "Or at least I don't think I do. The truth is –is that I don't think I know what love is. I know you don't want to hear my sad sob stories, but you need to hear this one. Thomas was only my half-brother. Our shared father had an affair with one of the maids who killed herself when I was still a baby. He always blamed me for everything that went wrong in his life –like if he hadn't had this bastard child then things would have been better. Your grandmother, the woman who I grew up believing was my mother never loved me and she didn't make any attempt to hide it-"

"Is there a point to this?" Bird huffed; as if she hadn't just taken up the better part of the late afternoon telling her own stories.

"The point is that I don't think anyone ever actually loved me and as far as I know I've never loved anyone either. But I do know that after you were born... when they put you in my arms and I held you for the first time..." Lily swallowed, "Well, I don't know exactly what to call it, but I knew from that first moment that I never wanted anything bad to happen to you. I didn't want you growing up the daughter of a crime boss and so I took you and I fled from Carmine. It wasn't until we were almost outside of Gotham that it dawned on me that you might not be any better off with me. And yes, I left you – I abandoned you because it felt like any option was going to be better than the life you were born into."

Bird bit down on the side of her tongue and listened to how Lily swore she'd planned to come back once she got her own life sorted out and bring her daughter with her.
Only what she thought would take months ended up taking years and the day she'd seen that her brother, Thomas, had married was the day she wrote him the letter telling him about the baby she'd left behind and hoping he'd find and raise her.

"I don't want to work for Theo." Lily admitted, her red lips pursing into a thin line, "But the last time I said I wanted out... you nearly died. I was supposed to find you –build a relationship with you and convince you to sign over Wayne Enterprises to me. And I was going to; but then I saw you and I just couldn't do it and so Theo said your life wasn't important anymore. That if you died your shares went to Bruce and so he and Tabitha framed you for murder and you were supposed to die that night, but like you said –you're unusually hard to kill and somehow you managed to get away."

"If he wanted me dead, why bother with the framing me part? Why drug me?" Bird asked, her eyes narrowed.

"Suicide." Lily admitted, "The idea was that you'd killed those people and couldn't live with yourself. Your shares of the company would go to a very devastated Bruce and your crimes would have brought shame to the Wayne name."

"And so then my heartbroken little brother wouldn't care much about the family business and be willing to sell the lions share?" Bird guessed.

"You nearly died because I strayed from the plan."

"You sound like that actually matters to you."

"It does!" Lily defended.

"You need to tell me everything." Bird ordered.

"I can't." Lily explained, "Not here and not now. If he finds out that I'm telling you any of this then I'm dead."

"Help me and I will protect-"

"How?" She pushed, her thin eyebrows jutting up towards her hairline, "You can't protect yourself. Your Penguin friend who is supposed to be some kind of kingpin couldn't protect his mother."

"Then what do you want?" Bird asked, "What was Galavan going to give you for the family shares in Wayne Enterprises?"

"Money." Lily admitted.

"Fine." Bird's jaw tensed, "Help me and I'll make sure you have more than enough money for the rest of your life."

With a short nod, Lily looked around them before saying, "I need to go. We'll talk soon."

"Wait!" Bird called out, grabbing onto her arm to keep her from leaving, "Is my brother in danger?"

"No." Lily answered, "Not that I know of. Theo is going to try and convince him to sign the company over –he has to be alive to do that."

"And my shares?" Bird asked.

"You love Bruce." Lily answered, "Not to mention Oswald. There's that ex-fiance of yours and that detective too. Theo thinks you'll be the easy stone to turn once your brother signs over his part of the company and if you refuse... well, you see what's happened to your friend's mother."

"Do you know where she is?" Bird asked, her eyes darting back and forth over a face that strongly resembled her own, "I don't." Lily answered.

•••Days later•••

Bird was sitting at the large dining table in Oswald's mansion, he and Butch were talking business and ways to quickly gather funds in the wake of the count house being raided and having lost millions of dollars.
She hadn't yet told Oswald about her mother's involvement with Galvan, she didn't have all the details yet herself and didn't want to chance him making a rash decision.

"I say we take 'em out." Butch offered, as he stood in his usual spot next to where Oswald was seated at the head of the table, "This new force of theirs has caused us enough grief between the night we went after the candidates and then this-"

"We're not killing the strike force." Bird sighed, as she finally looked up from the tablet where she'd been watching Harvey in his home office going over paperwork for close to twenty minutes.

"I get it. You're fond of Gordon and he's the one heading up the strike-force, but-" Butch tried to suggest that they'd leave him out of it, but Bird darkened the screen on her tablet and let out an even bigger sigh; showing she was growing irritated at his not following her rationale.

"No." She groaned, as Oswald looked between them, "When Falcone was running the show, why do you think that plans to kill someone off the force had to be cleared with him?"

Not giving him a chance to answer, Bird said, "Brothers in arms and all that. It doesn't matter how crooked and dirty half the cops in this city are –if you kill one of them, then they will come after us with everything they have."

"She's right." Oswald nodded, his line of sight burned from staring into the flickering flames of the candelabra centerpiece, "The last thing we need to do is give them further reason to focus attention on us."

"Eh." Butch shrugged, but before he could give his counter argument they heard the click of high heel shoes against the floor.

Tabitha Galavan walked into the room and came to a stop, surveying the trio before greeting, "Hi Penguin."
"Oh!" She feigned surprise as seeing Bird out with the rest of them, it was the first time she'd came by and actually seen her at the table, "Look who's rejoined the land of the living."

Bird's jaw tensed and as much as she wanted to say something to her –and even down right attack her, she knew all she could really do was sit there with hatred bubbling up inside of her –just as Oswald had to.

"What do you want?" Oswald asked her, watching as she trotted on up to the table and took a seat as if she owned them and everything around them.
Then again, for the moment, the Galavans pretty much did.

"Why so glum?" Tabitha questioned.

"I lost a lot of money." He truthfully answered.

"Aww." She teased with her lips pushed out in a pout, she leaned further into her seat, "Poor sad little bread head."

"The money is immaterial –someone must have betrayed me." Oswald pointed out, "Someone close."

Even though they should have appeared as a united front, Bird shot him a look from the corner of her eyes.
If he truly believed that was the case, this was the first she was hearing of it.

"You don't know that boss." Butch voiced.

"Oh, don't I?" He shook in his chair before spitting, "Don't I?"

"Woah, chill bird-man." Tabitha said, before holding up a stack of papers, "I got a job for you."

"What's that?" Oswald asked at the same time Bird guessed, "Who are we supposed to kill now?"

"Addresses of places that you're gonna burn to the ground." She slapped the papers down on the table and instructed, "Starting tonight."

"Arson now?" Oswald couldn't even begin to hide his disdain, "Hmm, sure. Fine. Whatever."

"If I can find a trustworthy arsonist!" With that his head snapped to the side to stare at Butch once more and Bird's eyebrows lowered at his sudden switch in mood and behavior.
The only thing she could guess is that this was some sort of bigger plan he was working –or the stress of everything had finally gotten to him and he was close to a mental breakdown.

"Paranoid, huh?" Tabitha asked, her eyes seeming to come to life in the glow of the fireplace just off to the right.

"Comes with the territory." Bird shrugged, leaning forward and saying, "You know –with someone kidnapping your mom and holding her hostage."

"Yeah?" Tabitha's eyebrows raised, before she snapped at him, "Get your head together little man and get it done."

"Oh!" She exclaimed as she reached into her pocket and pulled out a metal box and slid it over to Oswald, "Whoever starts the fires is going to need this."

He opened the box –expecting to find a key of some sort, but instead when he saw what was inside his entire face wrinkled up and he stared back to Tabitha.

Bird leaned over in her seat to see what had caused such a reaction in him, then she saw sitting in the middle of the box was a human eye –clearly cut right out of someone's head.

Without another word to them, Tabitha got up and left the room.

Standing up, Bird leaned across the table and pulled the stacked papers closer and started to flip through them.

"Well?" Oswald squirmed seeing the expression on her face.

"Wayne Enterprises owns every single one of these buildings." She answered as she reached over and took the box from him, "Which means this is probably Sid Bunderslaw's severed eye. Security is tight in most of these and only a high ranking member of the board could get into all of them."

"We'll need someone who's capable of burning down entire buildings." Oswald started to think out loud.
Knowing that your everyday pyromaniac wouldn't suffice; they needed someone with skills and probably even some specialized equipment.

"The firebugs from the narrows?" Bird suggested.

"Yeah..." Butch agreed, "The Pike brothers, right?"

"Excellent!" Oswald exclaimed, nodding to the stack of papers and beginning to tell them to get this job taken care of.

"Not that simple, boss." Butch argued.

"They were Fish loyalists." Bird explained, "They hate us. You'll need someone to get you in the door –to vouch for you, before they'll even be willing to talk."

Seeing the expression change on Bird's face, Oswald's eyes lit up –he knew that look well; as if a lightbulb had literally just illuminated in her brain.

"Selina." Bird realized, "Selina Kyle. Everyone in The Narrows knows her and the fact that she was on Fish's side before the end. She's our key."

Oswald nodded, so easily trusting and accepting Bird's ideas. Scrambling up to his feet, he smoothed out his clothes and hurried from the room.
He needed to get money together, enough money to pay people who hated him to burn down a string of buildings.

Of course, he thought, of course this would come about just days after he had millions taken when the GCPD raided the counthouse.

"Great." Butch nearly huffed while watching his boss scramble from the room, "So all we gotta do is find a street kid –on the streets."

"This is where she's been staying." Bird explained, as she plucked a pen up from the table and scribbled an address of an old abandoned building down, "I pop in from time to time to see her. Set my purse down and pretend not to notice when she thinks she's being so sly and stealing the cash I've got in there. But hey, a girls gotta eat."

"You're not coming with me?" Butch asked surprised when Bird slid him the papers and set the case containing the eye on top of it.

"I've got plans." Bird shrugged.

"Just go to Selina and say you need her to vouch for you with the firebugs, okay? Just tell her that I sent you and we'll cut her in moneywise for her troubles."
Slapping her hand on his arm she nodded, "You got this, Butch."

•••

"This is a bad idea." Erin complained as she sat down at the desk in the study at Wayne Manor.

"It's the best I've got right now." Bird rubbed her forehead.

Trailing her fingers over the expensive wood on the desk, polished so well that the surface looked like glass, Erin found herself wondering what it must have been like to grow up in a mansion like that.

"In what universe?" She asked, raising her head and looking at her client. Her stakes in the company could have sold for a ridiculous amount if she really wanted to unload them, "Tell me, Bird. In what universe is simply signing away your claim to your family's company the best idea? What is going on?"

"The less you know, the better."

"I'm your lawyer –I'm supposed to know everything."

"Good evening." Bruce greeted as he walked into the room and looked between his older sister and her lawyer. He hesitated in the doorway for a moment with the last encounter he'd had with Bird weighing heavily on his mind.

"Hey." Bird gave him a small smile, and Erin cordially replied, "Hello, Bruce."

Bird stared at the now empty doorway before loudly stating, "You might as well come in, Alfred. I know you're there."

"Lady Wayne." He said as he stepped into sight.
After the last time Bird had frightened her younger brother, he wasn't about to leave them alone again.

"And usually you're the one who complains about everyone else sneaking about the house." With a smirk she quoted him, "It's bloody rude."

"Ah." He nodded, still not sure how to take her drastic change in mood since the last time she'd showed up there, "Someone seems to be in better spirits. Back to mocking me, at least."

"What's going on?" Bruce asked, his eyes kept drifting over to Bird's attorney. He wasn't sure exactly what was going on –she'd never had occasion to bring Erin there before.

"Well, Bruce." Erin began, "Your sister, against my better advice, is willing to sign over the entirety of the shares in Wayne Enterprises that she gained via inheritance with your parents deaths."

His entire face scrunched with confusion and an array of other emotions.
After fighting so hard to hold onto the company, even during her time in Arkham when he'd tried to get her to temporarily sign it over –she'd not given in and now she was simply giving it away?

"In exchange for what?" Alfred questioned.

"Nothing." Bird answered.

"Why?" Bruce asked, walking up to his older sister whom he now stood a few inches taller than, "I don't understand."

"You don't need to understand, Bruce." Bird tried to give him another smile, but he could see she wasn't telling him everything.

"I want the truth, Starling." He proclaimed.

"Yeah..." She breathed, rolling her head to the side, "That's what you always say."

"The truth is –is that I'm doing this for you, little brother." She looked down to the paperwork laid out on the desk, already marked with her signatures and only waiting on his name to be signed, "I don't care about Wayne Enterprises, I really don't. I never wanted dad's company, but it means something to you. It's part of your legacy and you deserve it."

"Mr. Wayne?" Erin got his attention as she held out a pen to him, "We need your signature to finalize this."
"And then Mr. Pennyworth, with you being his legal guardian –there is a few documents I'll need you to sign as well."

"Dad wanted you involved in the company or he wouldn't have left you twenty-five percent of it." Bruce argued.

"He left you twenty-six, Bruce." Bird smiled through everything she was feeling in those moments, "Even though I'm the oldest, you were going to be the one groomed to take over the company. I never wanted anything to do with it and he knew that."

"If he knew that then why would he leave you nearly half of what he owned?" Bruce pushed.

"Come on." Bird weakly laughed.

When it was clear her brother still wanted a clear cut answer from her, she pointed out, "I never cared about the company, but I do care about you. I remember the day they brought you home from the hospital. You were this tiny little fragile thing and mom told me that since I was older –I had to be gentle with you. That you were something to love and protect." Swallowing hard, Bird reasoned, "You still are."

Bruce's eyebrows furrowed as he listened to her. It wasn't very often that she'd get emotional with him, usually it was because of something bigger happening that he was unaware of at the time.

"For all of my coldness and lack of caring about much of anything –you are my weak spot, little brother." Bird openly admitted as she shook her head, "Together we own fifty-one percent of the company, so when it comes down to any big decisions we'd have to agree on what to do, since we'd have the deciding vote together. I'm pretty sure that's what dad counted on –the fact that we'd have to work together and my love for you would make me softer. Maybe even get me to turn my life around."

"I don't think that's the only reason, Lady Wayne." Alfred spoke up.

"It doesn't matter." Bird argued, "The company belongs to him and he should decide what happens with it."

"This is your life. Your future." Bird stated, pulling the pen from Erin's hand and turned her attention to her little brother, "Don't make this more than it is. Just sign the papers."

Slowly, he stepped closer and took his time reaching out for the pen.
He still felt like there was more going on than he was being told, but with his sisters erratic behavior as of late –he wasn't going to turn down the opportunity to make sure the deciding vote would stay entirely in the family.

"We'll start with this one." Erin nodded for Bruce to come over so they could go through the paperwork together.

As Bird stood back and watched them, Alfred stepped up beside her and questioned, "Everything okay, Lady Wayne?"

When Bird side-eyed him, he pulled in a breath and pointed out, "Forgive me, it's just that the last time you were feeling this sentimental and speaking of the future was when you were convinced your days were numbered."

"In the letter my dad left me, he mentioned in it how he'd been feeling mortal, you know?" Bird looked over at Alfred, before looking straight ahead before continuing, "I thought I understood that, you know? After all for years I'd been flirting with danger –that's the life I chose."

Letting out a long breath, she thought of how her father must have felt –like some distant threat was looming and could come down on him at any time.

She admitted, "But that was different. Putting myself in dangerous situations day after day, was different than this."

"And what exactly is this?" He asked.

"A storm." Bird dropped her shoulders, "It feels like there's some big storm out on the horizon and day-by-day it's closing in and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it other than button down the hatches and hope it doesn't swallow me whole."

Alfred's face lined with concern.

"I can't explain why or how... but, I know this is how my dad felt. When he wrote those letters to Bruce and I and made all the arrangements for if something happened to him and mom."

"Now you just hang on a minute-" Alfred started to say.

"I forgive you." Bird cut him off, finally turning to face him, "For not telling me what you knew about my biological mother. I understand and I forgive you."

Her honest expression was met by one of utter and complete shock from Alfred.

"Alfred?" Bruce called out again, as he held out the pen for him to come and sign the papers that would finalize it all.

"Right, Master Bruce!" He quickly, replied before looking towards Bird and then walking over to where Bruce and Erin were waiting on him.

Bird took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled it.

For reasons that she didn't yet fully understand, Theo Galavan wanted control of Wayne Enterprises.
With her brother now solely owning over half of the company, that would help ensure his safety. After all, if something happened to him and the shares went public –it would be nothing short of impossible for a single entity to buy up fifty-one percent.
There would be a pack of hungry wolves both inside and outside of the company just waiting to snatch up what they could.

The only way Galavan would get control would be if Bruce signed it over to him and he'd have to be alive to do so.
And hopefully before it ever even got close to that point, she and Oswald would have found a way to defeat him.

Once Erin had everything she needed to finalize the transference of Bird's shares, she bid them all a good night and reminded Bird she'd see her the next day before she left them.

"I'd like a moment alone with my brother." Bird stated, looking to Alfred –but he made no attempt to move from where he was standing.

"It's alright, Alfred." Bruce nodded, but he protested, "Master Bruce-"

"It's my decision." The youngest Wayne reminded him.

"Very well." He heavily sighed, shooting Bird a warning look before he left them alone in the study.

"It's getting late, so I won't keep you." Bird began, "But I wanted to tell you that if you still wanted me to train you to fight –then I'm in."

"You absolutely refused to help me before." Bruce pointed out, "Why now?"

"Because I think it's important to be able to defend yourself and the play boxing crap that Alfred's been teaching you isn't going to do you any good outside of these walls. That's why." Bird answered.

Bruce stared at her in silence.
He'd practically begged her many times to teach him what she knew.

Starting from just weeks after their parents murders, when she found out he'd been trying to conquer fear and pain by injuring himself.
She'd squeezed the burn on his hand so hard it had bled through the bandage –but in doing that and refusing to let go when he pleaded with her to, she'd told him to use the anger he felt to block out the pain.
To focus on the rage he couldn't seem to let to go of and sure enough when he did as instructed, it was so effective that he didn't even realize she was still applying pressure to the wound.

Then when she'd came to save him when he'd went on the run from assassins with Selina –he'd watched her fearlessly stare down the barrel of a gun and manage to successfully disarm the assassin and knock him unconscious.

He'd begged her to teach him how she did that, show him how to not be afraid in a situation that had left him paralyzed by fear.

On the different occasions when he'd seen her display the skills he envied, he always tried to convince her to train him –but she always adamantly refused.

"What is there to think about?" Bird's eyebrow arched, "You've wanted this for over a year now."

"Okay." Bruce finally agreed, "On one condition."

"Name it."

"You have to be honest with me." He wagered, "I know you keep so much hidden from me for one reason or another, but I'm not a child anymore and I deserve to know my sister –not just the parts you want me to."

It had always baffled him how Bird could be so bluntly honest with him –about everything except when it came to herself.
He was fairly sure the only times she'd actually lied to him was when it involved trying to keep parts of her own life hidden.

"Okay." She succeeded, "Just remember you're the one who asked for it."

"How do I know you're telling me the truth?" He asked, rushing after her when she turned and started to leave.

"Ask me something." She shrugged.

"That day when you had me get the ropes from your car –when those men were following you." Bruce recalled, "You had a gun. Why?"

"Self-defense." Bird answered, but just like he'd requested of her; she took it a step further to explain, "In truth I've never seen the point in just knocking threats down for them to pop back up later down the line. Some situations call for a more permanent solution."

"You mean kill them?" He quietly, but boldly asked.
This was the part of the conversation where she'd usually shut down and tell him to not ask questions he didn't want the answers to. Make up some story about his being better off not knowing.

"Yes." She stated, "Better them than me."

When his blank expression was all her admission was met with, Bird reminded him, "I told you I'm done apologizing for who I am."

She gave him a few more moments to come to terms, before asking, "You believe me now?"

All he could manage to do was nod.

"Good." Bird smiled, but the toothy grin did little to ease his mind, "We start training tomorrow morning. I'll see you then."

•••