V: All That Glitters Is Not Gold


"So for now, I will miss you like I'll never see you again. And the next time I see you, I will kiss you like I'll never kiss you again. And when I fall asleep beside you I will fall asleep as if I'll never wake up again, because I don't know if I will. I don't know if I will." ― Charlotte Eriksson, Empty Roads & Broken Bottles

•••

Harvey let out a tired sigh as he walked into the house and dropped his car keys into the small decorative dish on the end table just inside of the door.

When he took another breath, his nose immediately wrinkled up from the heavy scent of burnt food hanging in the air.

"Starling?" He called out, as he quickly shrugged out of his coat.

When she didn't answer him, he bypassed the closet and threw his coat down on the end of the couch as he headed for the kitchen, calling out for his fiancée again –but he was only met with silence.

He darted over to the stove when he saw smoke rising up from a pot of spaghetti that Bird had started earlier in the day and apparently forgot about. Quickly shutting the flame on the gas stove off, he grabbed the pot up and dropped into the sink and switched on the cold water.

Taking a step back as the hot metal sizzled and scorched from the abrupt temperature change, he looked around the kitchen. Out on the counter was an open jar of pasta sauce and a bag of shredded cheese.

It was as if Bird had put the pasta on to boil and then simply turned and walked out the door.

Walking back up to the sink, he shut the water off and poured the contents of the pan out –shaking his head angrily at the black noodles stuck to the bottom of the pan. Mumbling under his breath he threw the pan into the trashcan and headed for the stairs.

It didn't take him long to find Bird in their bedroom, sitting on the floor in front of their walk-in closet surrounded by boxes and some clothes strewn about.

"Starling?" He asked, stepping closer with a growing look of concern on his face as she sat staring off into the distance, seemingly not even away of his presence.

"Hey..." Harvey breathed, placing a hand on her shoulder and bringing her back to the present with him.

"Oh, hey." She quickly said, scrambling to her feet and looking around at the mess, "I, uh... I didn't know you were coming home early."

"I didn't." He started to say, "Do you even know what time-"

"I put some spaghetti onto boil. You hungry?" She cut him off, trying to walk past him without listening to what he had to say.

"You left the flame on high." He explained, putting his arm in front of her to keep her from walking away, "There no water left in the pan... you can't smell that? The entire house stinks like burnt food."

Sniffing the air, her face twisted up and she nodded in agreement with him, but she still seemed like she was dazed and not entirely there.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She automatically replied.

He opened his mouth to tell her he didn't believe that for a second, but his voice caught in his throat when he looked down and saw she was clutching the necklace that she'd came home from Arkham with –the one Jerome had made for her.

"What are you doing with that?" He asked, not even giving her a second to answer before his voice raised, "Why didn't you throw it away?"

"I don't know." She answered, "Never got around to it I guess."

"Well, what are you doing with it now?" He pushed, looking back to the mess the room had turned into, "What were you looking for in here?"

"I don't remember."

"Don't lie to me-"

"I'm not!" She yelled, rubbing her forehead with her free hand, "I put the noodles on to boil and I came in here to grab something, but I don't remember what it was." Motioning to the closet she explained, "I knocked the box of stuff I brought home from Arkham off the shelf in there and saw this necklace and then... I guess I lost track of time."

The angry expression on his face softened, but he still had to point out how dangerous it was, "You could have started a fire, you know?"

She nodded but didn't say anything, she'd been so locked away in her thoughts that she hadn't a clue how long she'd been up there with the stove going.

"Don't you think it's strange?" She finally questioned, "Jerome was armed; he had a knife but he didn't even try to defend himself against that Galavan guy."

"What?" Harvey breathed.

"I was right there, Harvey. Standing right there and I saw the look the look on his face when Galavan stabbed him. Jerome looked surprised, like he really never saw it coming..." Bird tried to explain what had been haunting her in the days since the children's hospital benefit.

"He probably didn't see it coming." Harvey dropped his shoulders in exhaustion, "Probably thought no one had it in them to stand up to him."

"No, that's not it." She argued, "I've seen people be caught off guard just before they're killed before, okay? I know what someone looks like when that happens and I'm telling you something is off here. I really don't think Jerome expected Galavan to hurt him... and when Barbara tried to attack Lee and he stopped her, he said something about it not having been ten minutes yet-"

"Starling." He cut her off, his voice gravely with irritation.

In his mind it had been a terrible night for Gotham, but one that they had survived. A night where good triumphed evil and he didn't see a point in trying to pick apart and analyze every second.

"And isn't it also really weird how the only person that got killed, aside from Jerome, was Deputy Mayor Kane?" Bird ignored his protests, "Just think about it. Mayor James is still missing and now with Kane out of the way... they're going to have to hold a new election. If someone wanted to be in a position of power in the city then-"

"Stop it." He pleaded with her.

"I can't!" She exclaimed, "It's all I've been able to think about since it happened."

"Not everything is a conspiracy!" His voice came out so harsh and forceful that she took a step back, feeling like the words had physically hit her.

When he saw the look on her face he apologized, "I'm sorry, but it's the truth."

"You don't know that!" She yelled over the end of his sentence, "Someone framed me for murder, Harvey. Some things are a conspiracy and I'm telling you that something is still wrong, I can feel it."

"Jerome Valeska and Barbara Kean tried to kill you!" He reminded her, his face contorting in disbelief, "Why does it bother you so much that –that maniac was killed?"

She couldn't keep from rolling her eyes and pointing out something she thought was clearly obvious, "Don't you think if they'd really wanted to kill me that I'd be dead? I was nearly defenseless tied down to that wheel."

"Are-are you kidding me?" He scoffed, taking hold of her arm and pushing the sleeve up to show the bandages over the stiches she'd had to get, "I sat right there and watched him work you over with a knife!"

"Doesn't matter." She stubbornly shook her head, "If Jerome had really wanted to kill me he would have."

"This is insane!" He shouted, "I swear to god, it's like we weren't even at the same event that night, because apparently you have a completely different recollection of it!"

"Let go of me." She challenged with narrowed eyes.

He looked down to see he still had an iron grip on her wrist from where he'd grabbed onto her arm moments before. A hold that only grown tighter and more painful for her as his anger escalated; he'd entirely forgotten he'd even had a grip on her.

Immediately he let go and spilled an apology, "I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking-"

"Yeah..." Bird nodded, cutting him off, "You never meant to hurt me, right?"

His gaze dropped to the floor and Bird glanced around the room before stating, "Me either, you know?"

When his eyes met hers; she clarified, "You walk around here and act like everything I do wrong is to purposely hurt you, but it's not. I never once meant to hurt you."

•••

Pulling to a stop and shutting her car off, Bird leaned back against the headrest and blew out a heavy breath.

Rolling her head to the side she looked at Wayne Manor and tried to muster up the strength to actually go inside.

It had been a few weeks since her brother had asked her to stop by –stating that she needed to see something. When she pushed for details the only answer he'd give was that it concerned their father.

She wasn't entirely sure why she'd been avoiding the trip. Maybe she wasn't ready to learn whatever it was that he had to show her, either way she knew that sooner or later she'd have to face whatever Bruce was waiting to share with her.

With that thought, she pulled the keys from the ignition and threw her car door open with much more force than she needed to use.

Just as she stepped outside her phone started to ring. With a loud groan, she turned around and leaned back into the car to grab her bag out of the passenger seat.

Quickly locating her phone, she tossed her bag back into the seat and stared at the unfamiliar number.

"Hello?" She gruffly answered, as flipped the cellphone open and it put it to her ear.

"Hey, B!" Barbara's always cheery tone greeted her.

Without saying a word, Bird flipped her phone shut.

Almost immediately she received another call from the same number. This time she didn't even bother answering the call, just flipped her phone open and waiting until the call connected before shutting it to hang up on her.

"Everything okay?"

Looking up she saw Jim walking towards her from the house.

"Yeah, why do you ask?" She questioned, glancing over to see where his car was parked and wondered how she'd missed spotting it in the first place.

When her phone rang again, Bird quickly ended the call again and Jim nodded to her phone to signal that's what he was talking about.

She gave a shrug and avoided his eyes as she looked down and shut her cellphone off to detour her friend from trying to call her again.

Stepping closer to where she was, Jim saw the troubled look on her face and questioned, "You and Harvey have a fight?"

"No." Bird lied, her head cocked to the side, "I have other people that I talk to, you know."

Her forehead lining with the realization that –that wasn't exactly the truth anymore. There weren't many people in her life who reached out to her.

A year ago if her phone rang it could have been one of many people calling her, but not now.

Now some of those people were dead; others she hadn't spoken to in months.

A year might only be three hundred and sixty five days, but to Bird it felt like an eternity ago.

"Fair enough." He surrendered, but his eyes narrowed slightly as he watched her.

Hey, listen..." Jim cleared his throat, "I've been meaning to stop by and check on you after everything that happened at the children's hospital fundraiser."

"It's fine." She managed a small smile, but he argued, "It's not. I should have dropped by."

"No." She shook her head, "You probably shouldn't just show up at my house anymore."

"Why?" He questioned, taking a step closer and lowering his voice as he asked, "What's going on?"

"Barbara told Harvey about that time at the hospital when you kissed me." She confessed.

His eyes roamed over her face until his mind finally landed on what to ask next, "And how did Barbara know about that?"

"I told her a while ago..." Bird admitted.

"Why..." He breathed, shaking his head, "Why would you do that?"

"Because she's one of my best friends!" Bird defended, "And because she practically already knew something happened."

"You meant to say: she was one of your best friends." Jim corrected her, "As in past tense; because there's no way after what happened that you'd still consider her a friend, right?"

His eyes dropped down to where she was still clutching her cellphone in her hand.

"It's complicated." Bird replied.

"Complicated?" He disbelievingly repeated back.

"Yes, complicated. She gave me a knife, Jim. I was able to cut myself free because of that and I don't think she wanted me to get hurt that bad. She did step between me and Jerome." Bird seemed lost in her own thoughts as she continued, "And that entire night felt off. I think there's something bigger at play."

Before he could begin to point out the first in a very long list of how that logic was flawed on many levels, Bird asked, "How much do you know about Theo Galavan?"

"Nothing really." He shrugged, "Other than we're lucky he stepped up when he did. He saved Bruce's life."

"I know... but don't you think it's strange how it happened?"

Not giving him a chance to agree or disagree, Bird pointed out, "Theo said something and Jerome just completely let go of my brother and turned to face him. And at that point what reason did that Theo guy actually have to kill Jerome? He could have knocked him down and disarmed him, he didn't have to actually kill him and the look on his face..."

"Hold on." Jim finally got a word in, "What are you saying?"

Bird's eyes locked with his and she wanted to tell him everything that had been haunting her. How the entire night had felt overly staged and how Galavan's theatrics seemed scripted just for the cameras.

She wanted to share with him the things that she'd tried to talk to Harvey about, but he'd shot it down every single time and she didn't miss the way he'd start to look at her like she was crazy whenever another word of conspiracy was spoken.

If Harvey thought she was crazy for thinking along those lines, then Jim probably would too and for the moment it was nice to have at least a few people who didn't act like her being let out of Arkham was an error in someone's judgment.

"Nothing." She chuckled, waving a hand through the air.

"Bird..." He complained, easily able to tell she was holding something back.

"Seriously, it's nothing." She argued, "I don't sleep much anymore and Harvey says I've been watching too many late night documentaries. The history channel has been playing these marathons of shows about-"

"Conspiracies and secret societies." Jim nodded. Catching her stunned expression, he explained, "I don't sleep much either."

"Yeah, well, after being framed for a crime I didn't commit... I don't know, sometimes the world just looks like one big conspiracy." She dismissively said.

But Jim wasn't ready to let it go quite so easily.

"You've got a theory about what happened that night?" He guessed, nodding for her to continue.

"No." She lied, with a tight smile, "I should get going." She turned back towards her car.

"You just got here." He pointed out, but she didn't say anything; simply got in her car and drove off.

He pulled in a deep breath and shook his head.

During his many visits to see her while she was Arkham, he'd noticed small changes in her behavior. Over time she seemed less sure of herself, trusted her own mind less and less and that wasn't the Bird he was used to.

•••

"I'm sorry, boss." One of the guards huffed as he rushed into the room just mere steps behind Bird, "She just walked right in-"

"It's fine." Oswald cut his sentry off, though his eyes never left Bird's face. "Leave us."

Nodding, the man ducked back out of the room and closed the large wood double doors behind him.

"Bird." Oswald greeted, sitting up straighter in the chair at the head of the large table.

A chair that looked just like a throne.

"Oswald." Bird replied, lingering towards the door she'd practically burst through just moments prior.

Her eyes moved to the large selection of foods on the table, a meal that could have easily fed several people, yet he was the only one there.

"A spread fit for a king." She commented, as she walked further into the room.

"I am." He said, his jaw tensing as he watched her walked closer.

She leaned over the table and plucked up one of the dark red grapes from the stem before popping it into her mouth.

"Please, have a seat." He politely gestured to the chair on his right side, but she ignored the nicety and walked past him. Trailing her fingers over the dark red curtains blocking out all traces of sunlight from the hidden windows.

His eyes never strayed as he watched her inspect the room in the mansion he'd claimed.

After the night he'd came to repair things between them and been chased off by a rage filled Harvey Dent, he'd spent nearly a week unable to sleep.

Bird had always found some way to creep into his mind, invade every single waking second and there were times he'd nearly hated her for it.

The first week, in his recollection, had been the hardest. Then his days had been filled with continuing to pick up the pieces of Falcone's empire and convincing the underbosses to follow him.

There were cash reserves to build up, debts to collect and lives to threaten. Along with the near constant struggle to keep hold of the position of power he'd claimed for himself.

Slowly, instead of the incessant thoughts of his best friend, he'd found himself more concerned with foreseeing threats to his post and eliminating them.

Power was all he'd ever desired –and there he sat, the King of Gotham and still found himself nearly rendered breathless in her presence.

It was like a sickness.

Straightening his posture even more, he adjusted his tie and waited for her to turn around and face him once again.

Waiting for her to see him cast in a new light.

He hadn't been an umbrella boy for quite some time now. He was no longer a snitch playing all sides as he desperately tried to claw his way to the top.

No, he wasn't an underling anymore.
He was a king.

He felt different and he was sure she'd no longer just see her best friend when she looked at him.

"Falcone wanted me to take his place." Bird finally said, turning to look at him with her arms crossed over her chest; reverting back a childlike stance of seeing another kid with a shinier toy.

"I beg your pardon?" Oswald somehow stammered, entirely thrown from her statement.

He'd been sitting there for several minutes imagining every single possibility of what she'd say to him, playing both parts of the conversation inside his mind.

But in no version had she said anything close to that.

"He wanted me to have the empire he'd built." She explained.

Reaching for his glass of vintage red wine, Oswald started to drink so fast that it ran from the corners of his mouth.

"I could have turned on you at any point." Bird shook her head as she spoke, "It would have been so easy and you never would have seen it coming-"

Her sentence abruptly cut off when she jumped in response to Oswald slamming his now empty glass of wine down so hard that it shattered against the table.

"Have you only come to insult me?" He nearly screamed at her as he scrambled up to his feet and shook the glass shards from his hand. Not even aware of the drops of blood that fell from several cuts, "After all this time?"

"I'm not insulting you!" She yelled back, immediately angered at him. "I came here because this could have been mine so easily. I'm a Falcone and Wayne –both by blood. This city could have been mine."

"Yes!" Oswald tossed his arms out to either side, "Look around Bird. Marvel at what could have been –had you made the right decision when the time came."

The pair stared at each one another –each seeing the other painted in shades of raged red.
Both feeling insulted and slighted by the other.

"Always so quick to anger." Bird pointed out, knowing she could have very well been speaking of herself, "Even when you finally got everything you ever wanted."

"How should I react?" He practically spat.

He'd been waiting for months for her to turn up at his door step, a broken and wounded thing that had nowhere else to turn. And from the look on her face when she'd first walked in, that's exactly where he thought this was headed.

Bird's eyebrows knotted and her jaw was clenched so tight it was painful.
She wasn't sure why she'd even came there in the first place. On the drive there she'd worked out a conversation in her head of how she'd find out why he never once tried to help her.

All she wanted to know was how he could so easily turn a blind eye to her pain and suffering when she'd been so convinced they'd always have each to depend on.

"You don't get it!" She suddenly screamed, the outburst catching him entirely off guard with the shrill tone in her voice causing him to cringe.

The door to the room opened and one of his henchman looked in to make sure that he was okay and not in any danger, but Oswald picked the half-empty wine bottle up from the table and hurled at the door with the command, "Leave us alone!"

As the door was quickly slammed shut both Oswald and Bird took a moment to try and compose themselves from the screaming match neither of them had expected the day to result in.

"I'm saying that –that throne could have been mine-"

"But you chose Harvey Dent-"

"I chose you." Bird cut him off. "That's what you don't get, Oswald. I see it now. All you ever really cared about was power. Power that apparently was my birthright, but instead I stuck by you. I put my neck on the line for you over and over, cleaned up one mess after another and came running every single time you called. I did everything I could to make sure that you made it to the top."

"I wanted you here." He pointed out, with an arched brow, "You were the one who said you wanted something different."

Pinning her eyes shut, she pulled in a few deep breaths before slowly walking over and sitting down at the table.

"That's right." She conceded, "But you knew what happened to me, Oswald. I sat in Arkham Asylum for months waiting on you to do something –to use your precious power to pull the right strings and help me."

"And I sat here for those months waiting on you to ask." He argued with her, sitting back down in his own chair and watching her.

"Boy..." Bird breathed with a low whistle, "What a mess you'd have ended up in if I'd always waited to help you until you asked for it."

"You walked away." Oswald reminded her.

"But you knew." Bird helplessly breathed as she finally looked back at him, "You are the only one who knew just how much being locked up as a teenager affected me. Don't you remember that? And that place was a spa compared to Arkham."

His breath caught in his throat as he watched her and her words sunk in.

"I guess I'm here because I need to know how my very best friend could just turn the other cheek and let something like that happen to me." Bird admitted.

"You speak as though my intention was to watch you suffer." Oswald said, his eyes falling to the engagement ring on her finger and he realized despite her showing up there –she was still engaged.

Unacceptable, the thought to himself, but now was his chance to ensure that wouldn't last for much longer.

"My apologies Bird, but I was led to believe that you no longer had a place in your new life for someone like me..." Oswald said, "After being turned away from your door that night-"

"What night?" Bird asked, "What are you talking about?"

"I came to see you months ago... right after we'd won the war and Fish was dead." Oswald explained, "I showed up at your door; heart on my sleeve, to tell you how I'd been foolish to speak of us parting ways for good. I came to assure you of just how important you were –that you still are to me and I was so cruelly turned away."

Seeing the confused expression on her face continue to grow, he could barely contain his excitement.

"You had no idea?" He feigned shock, "That Harvey Dent nearly chased me down the sidewalk away from your house?"

"No." Bird said, her jaw tensed, "I thought after you killed Fish and Falcone fled town that you'd decided you didn't need me anymore."

"Nothing could be further from the truth." Oswald explained, recalling the night in question to mind, "When I insisted upon seeing you, your lover turned me away –he said that you were free of your old life and wished to be free of me."

Bird continued to watch him speak, but found herself just staring at his mouth instead of hearing the words being spoken now.

Harvey had sat there with her for weeks, listening to how upset she was that Oswald had so easily tossed her to the side and had never once said anything about him coming by their house.

"Bird?" Oswald finally asked when a few minutes of her staring blankly at him had passed.

Wordless, she rose to her feet.
Her movements were choppy; almost mechanical as she took her time pushing her chair back up to the table and turning to leave –she couldn't even hear him calling after her.

•••

"Where have you been?" Harvey asked as he met Bird at the door, "I've been trying to call you for close to an hour."

Her eyes traveled over his face as her mouth hung open, not able to comprehend how things went so wrong between them.

For the past few weeks she'd been sure that their problems didn't start until she'd been framed for murder and then continued to roll steadily downhill after Arkham, but it was slowly dawning on her things hadn't been going well between from for quite some time.

Deep down she figured that she'd known it all along.
After all, she'd told him from the beginning that they were doomed, but with every fight they managed to resolve and every roadblock they'd found their way around, she'd convinced herself that maybe they really had what it took to make.

"Harvey." She breathed, "We need to talk-"

Her eyebrows lowering as she watched him quickly shrug on his coat, "Where are you going?"

"Wayne Manor, that's what I've been trying to tell you." He explained, taking the car keys from her hand, "Alfred called, he said you need to come there right away."

"Why?" Bird asked, "Is Bruce okay?"

"I don't know." Harvey admitted, opening the door and motioning for her to go through, "He wouldn't tell me anything –other than its urgent and that he couldn't reach you."

"I shut my phone off." Bird admitted, turning to watch as Harvey locked their front door behind them.

"I noticed." He muttered under his breath, as they walked to her car.

The drive to her family's home was in mostly silence. Aside from Harvey pointing out that he thought she'd said she was going by Wayne Manor when she left the house earlier that day, but she didn't answer him.

She couldn't find the strength to start the conversation that they needed to have, not while they were in the car rushing to find out what was going on.
She couldn't even find it in her to make up a lie to silence his questions for the moment.

As he pulled to a stop outside of the house and shut the car off, he flung his door open but stopped when she sat perfectly still in the passenger seat staring ahead.

"Starling?" He questioned, reaching over and taking her hand in his, "I'm sure your brother is fine."

Her head dropped forward and she looked down to their connected hands but didn't say anything.

"Whatever it is, we'll deal with it." He assured her, leaning down to try and catch her line of sight, "We'll get through it together; like we always do."

His face twisted with concern when she finally looked at him, but her eyes looked almost glassy.
There was an emptiness in her gaze that was unsettling.

"Ready?" He asked, rubbing this thumb over the back of her hand.

"Ready." She repeated back, but still made no attempt to actually get out of the car.

It wasn't until he got out and crossed over to her side of the car and opened her door that she finally moved, though as they walked hand-in-hand to the front door, Harvey felt like he had to drag her along with him.

"Lady Wayne!" Alfred exclaimed as Bird and Harvey appeared in the doorway of the study, he quickly stood up from where he was sitting and stammered, "We-we've been trying to reach you."

"Mhmm..." Bird hummed, not quite able to get her tongue to form words just yet.
Since leaving Oswald earlier, time had seemed to just blur into one long never ending block that she was trapped in.

"Starling." Bruce smiled, looking up from where he was sitting on one of the couches.

Internally she breathed a sigh of relief at seeing he was not only safe, but also seemed happy. Externally, she barely even appeared to notice him.

Also relieved that Bruce was alright, Harvey's eyes feel the opposite couch where he could see the back of a woman with brunette hair was sitting and he questioned, "What's going on?"

His eyes quickly fell down to where Bird's grip on his hand grew painfully tight; enough so that it nearly brought him to his knees.

The woman stood and turned around, she glanced between them before her teary eyes focused on Bird and she breathed, "You're so grown up..." She cleared her throat, feeling like there was a million things she needed to say, but couldn't even pick one to start with.

Looking between them, Alfred said, "Lady Wayne, this is Lilith-"

"I know who she is." Bird finally found her voice. Which came out surprisingly steady considering she still had an iron tight grip on Harvey's hand at her side, "She's my mother."

"I guess this makes the introductions a bit smoother." She tried to lighten the moment, "I wasn't sure how much you knew about me... or if you even knew of me at all."
Her voice shook and she nervously wrung hands as she questioned, "Thomas told you?"

Swatting a tear from her cheek, she didn't get much time to answer before repeating, "My god... you're so grown up." Looking between Bird's emotionless expression and the stunned look on Harvey's face she shook her head in disbelief, "And engaged..."

Bird glanced around the room as all eyes were now on her.
Everyone waiting for her reaction.

She wasn't sure how to react, she was just barely sure this was real and not one of the nightmares she'd been having for months where her mom showed up only to reveal eyes as black as coal and demonic features.

She had to bite down on the side of her tongue to keep from asking everyone else if they saw Lilith too as she carefully advanced towards her now adult daughter.

"I don't want to push things... but I really just want to give you a hug."

"I think you'd better just stay where you are." Bird finally found her voice as she eyed the woman suspiciously.

"Lilith." Alfred cleared his throat, "Perhaps-"

"Lily." She corrected him, glancing over her shoulder and cutting him off, "Please, call me Lily."

"Lily." He accepted with a nod, "Perhaps you and Lady Wayne would like appreciate some time alone. This is a lot to process, I'm sure."
His eyes cut over to where Bird looked almost sickly pale with an unreadable look in her eyes.

"I would love that." She warmly smiled, looking to Bird and hastily adding, "If you're comfortable with that, of course?"

Wordless, Bird let go of Harvey's hand and crossed the room sitting down on one of the couches and proved unable to answer Bruce when he quietly asked if she was okay.

Once they were left alone, Lily sat down on the opposite couch and watched her daughter with tears glistening in her eyes .

"I'm not sure what to say." She breathed, "I'm told you like to go by the name Bird?"

"Yeah." Bird nodded, avoiding Lily's eyes as she poured herself a glass of ice water from the pitcher on the coffee table and drank it down so fast it took a few seconds to get the feeling back in her throat.

All her life she'd imagined meeting her birth mother; as a little girl she'd even kept a small notebook where she'd jot down questions she had. Only now –facing the woman who gave birth to her over twenty years ago left her unable to form a clear thought, let alone think of what to say.

"Why are you here?" Bird stammered, "Do you want money or something?"

"What?" Lily exclaimed, seeming hurt from the insinuation, "God, no. I'm here because... well, because I've missed over two decades of my daughter's life and I didn't want a third to slip by."

"Slip by?" Bird repeated back, "Is that what time does after you leave a tiny, entirely defenseless infant at a church –with nothing, not even a name? You flee town and time just... slips by."

"I thought about you every single day." Lily asserted, "I wasn't in a good place back then. My head was a mess and I had no idea what I wanted or needed. All I knew was that I couldn't stay in the situation I was in and that I wanted something better for you-"

"Like being starved and beaten in foster homes and orphanages?"

Lily's eyes fell to the floor, a bitter taste lingered on her tongue and shame took over her expression.

There weren't enough words on earth to form an apology for the chain of events her choices had put into place so long ago.
It was impossible to even try.

"I just don't get it." Bird admitted, not bothering to brush the hair aside that had fell into her face while she near violently shook her head back and forth, "If you wanted away from Falcone bad enough –fine, but why even take me with you if you didn't want me either?"

"It's not that I didn't want you." She softly sighed, looking up at Bird from under her dark coated lashes, "But I couldn't leave you there to grow up being the daughter of a mafia crime boss –what kind of life would that have been? Could you just imagine the amount of danger you would have been solely because of who your father was? And what would growing up in organized crime have turned you into as a person?"

"I think I'd have turned out fine." Bird stubbornly argued

"You don't know Carmine Falcone." Lily stressed.

"Oh, but I do." She argued, "I've known him for years –just didn't know he was my father until recently."

"Not the way I know him." She countered, shaking her head, "Trust me, the farther away from him you were –the better."

"Then why not have just brought me here?" Bird questioned, looking around the room.

"I can see why you'd wonder that." Lily sympathized, "But money isn't everything-"

"You're right, it's not." Bird cut her off, "But it does keep food on the table and the heat on in the winter. You know, money buys the creature comforts that I spent the first five years of my life without."

Lily looked at her daughter, their near matching brown eyes locking in an intense stare.

When Bird had heard how her mother had been treated by her family, she'd felt bad for her –or at least felt some sympathy for the version of her that she'd formed in her head.

From what Falcone had told her and what she'd read in the letter from her father, Bird had built an idea of the woman who'd gave birth to her. She'd pictured a frail person clinging to the brink of sanity and not able to care for herself –let alone for anyone else.

But any sympathy and understanding she'd grown to have for her had vanished the moment she'd met her in person.

She'd stood there in a charcoal tinted form fitting dress and black heels that raised her at least four inches in height above Bird. Her dark hair looked like she'd just stepped out of a salon after an expensive blow out and Bird gathered the pearls around her neck had to cost a pretty penny –not to mention the feathery wisps of Chanel N°5 perfume in the air around her.

Lily carried herself and spoke in such a way that you'd never guess she grew up spending more days locked in an asylum than she did in her own house.

Maybe seeing how tall she was able to stand after everything he'd been though was something that Bird should have been happy to see –but instead she found it unsettling.

Or maybe Bird hadn't made near as much peace with where she came from as she'd thought. The bitter taste in her mouth was enough to thoroughly choke on.

"I don't blame you for being angry." Lily swallowed as she spoke, "I had so many second thoughts about contacting you after so many years. You're an adult and you've got your own life now... clearly you managed this long without me and I wasn't even sure you'd have any desire to meet me."

"Then why are you here?" She gruffly asked.

"For me." She admitted with a slight shrug, "I wanted to know my daughter."

Bird's eyes narrowed as she watched Lily blink back some tears as she stared off into the flames dancing in the fireplace. Slowly, she turned back to her adult daughter and started to say, "Maybe one day when you have a child of your own, you'll understand-"

"Don't do that." Bird cut her sentence short, "Don't make it sound like something I can't understand because I'm not a parent –you're not a parent either."

"I carried you inside of me for nine months." Lily pointed out, placing her hand over her stomach, "It's my blood that runs through your veins."

"My parents are dead." Bird loudly spoke over her, "They were murdered –last year actually."

"Fine." Lily raised a hand to silence her and show she didn't mean for anything she'd said to be taken offensively, "You may not want to claim me as your mother, but that doesn't change anything for me. You are still my daughter and all I'm asking for is a chance to get to make up some of that lost time-"

"I already had a mom." Bird said in a less than steady tone, "She helped me with my homework and taught me how to bake, took care of me when I was sick. Somehow she could always make the bad days feel a little less dark –and with me that was no easy task, because I didn't just have sad days. No, I had black days where I couldn't even find the strength to get out of bed and you know what? She never gave up on me, never once made me feel like I was burden."

Reaching up, Bird swatted the tear away that had started to roll down her cheek, "She was amazing and I wasn't very good to her. So Lily, whatever it is you're looking to build here-" Bird motioned between them, "I don't want any part of it. Martha Wayne set the bar pretty high as far as moms go and there's no way you could come close to measuring up."

"Sorry to interrupt." Alfred apologized as he tapped with his knuckles on the open door while balancing a tray in the other hand, "I made some tea."

"Thank you, Alfred." Bird managed a smile in his direction as she got to her feet, "But Lily was just leaving."

"So soon?" He questioned, setting the tray down on an end table and looking between them.

Clearing her throat, Lily stood up nodding in agreement as she picked her coat up from the back of the couch and laid it over her arm before gathering her purse.

Pulling a small notepad out of it, she scribbled her phone number down and handed it to Bird, "I have no intention of leaving Gotham again. So I'll be here whenever you're ready to talk."
Looking her over, she shook her head, "I still can't get over how grown up you are. So beautiful."

"It was nice to meet you, Alfred." Lily politely said, pausing at the doorway, "Give Bruce my best."

Alfred nodded, and wished her a goodnight as she left. Normally, he'd have shown her out, but he was more concerned about Bird when she went over and stood staring into the fire place.

"Lady Wayne?" He questioned, stepping closer to her.

"I don't trust her." Bird admitted, "If she comes back I don't want her left alone with Bruce."

"She is his family." Alfred pointed out, "Truth be told, he seemed rather thrilled to meet her."

"He's not good at reading people." Bird argued, remembering back to when he'd invited Alfred's war buddy Reggie to stay at the manor and Alfred had nearly been killed.
Finally looking over at him she questioned, "There's something off about her just showing up, isn't there?"

When he stayed quiet, Bird raised her eyebrows expectantly, "I'm telling you we can't trust her."

"So we should what?" Alfred pushed back, "Slam the door in her face. Turn her away without the benefit of the doubt? I can't imagine how hard this must be for you... but most people in your shoes never get the opportunity to see exactly where they came from. Are you sure you want to shut it all down before it even begins?"

"My parents are dead." Bird repeated what she'd said to Lily earlier.

"Right you are." Alfred nodded, "But if they weren't... if your dear ole' dad was still alive, do you think he'd write her off so fast?"

"I don't know." She shrugged, "But I don't think he'd exactly open the doors to her after so long."

"Are you sure about that? In the times he spoke of her, I could see regret and guilt on his face-"

"What?" She gasped, taking a step back away from him.

"You knew?" Bird stammered out, her breathing growing unsteady, "You knew about her?"

He swallowed hard at the look of pain on her face, "I did." He admitted.

"You knew this whole time and you never told me!" She yelled, seeming startled by her own outburst.

"It wasn't my place to do so." He explained.

"Even after they died?" She scoffed.

Alfred diverted his eyes to the flames burning bright in the hearth. Having known Bird for the majority of her life, he was never sure how she'd take being handed life changing news and he'd never wanted to be responsible for sending her on a downward spiral.

"Is everything okay?" Bruce asked as he joined them after hearing his sister yelling.

"No." Bird practically spat out. "Everything is not okay."

"Lady Wayne-" Alfred took a step forward, but she quickly backed up. Betrayal showed heavy on her face as she shook her head at him.

"Starling?" Bruce asked, his voice quiet and almost feeble.

"Where's Harvey?" Bird asked, "He's got my keys and I have to get out of this place."

•••

"Why now?" Bird repeated, glancing over to the open bathroom door as she listened to the water in the sink running, "After all this time..."

Poking his head out of the bathroom, Harvey's voice was muffled from the toothpaste and toothbrush as he was in the middle of brushing his teeth, "I don't know." He shrugged, "Maybe has something to do with the fact that Falcone is out of the picture."

"Exactly!" Bird nodded, as she started to pull the decorative pillows off their bed and throw them onto the window seat, "And that's suspicious! Don Falcone was the only person who actually knew her and she waits until he's gone before coming back."

Spitting toothpaste out into the sink, Harvey called out, "I was thinking more along the terms of maybe she finally felt safe enough to return with him gone."

"That's one way to look at it." She mumbled under her breath as she started to pull the sheet and comforter down from the made bed.

"The man was a monster, Starling." Harvey said, causing her to jump. She hadn't heard him come up behind her.

"Falcone was a criminal –a mobster... but he wasn't a monster."

"Are you really going to argue with me about this?" He questioned, "After everything he did?"

Her gaze fell to the floor and she bit down on the inside of her cheek.
From where Harvey had been standing, she was sure that Falcone could have easily been seen as some sort of monster, but she'd known differently.

There were times she'd hated him –including times she was ready to kill the mafia don, but she'd also seen a different side to him.

His methods might have been questionable and his way of going about things a little outdated, but when they'd finally sat down to talk and he told her how everything he'd done –no matter how harsh it seemed, had been to try and make her stronger, she believed him.

In his own way, however misguided it may have been, he had tried to do right by her.

"It's late." Harvey finally sighed, leaning down some to catch her line of sight, "It's been an incredibly long day. Let's get some sleep and we'll figure things out tomorrow, okay?"

With that, he leaned in to kiss her, but Bird turned her head and he got her cheek instead.

Even though her encounter with Oswald earlier that day had gotten pushed to the back of her mind, she hadn't forgotten it.

"What?" He asked, his forehead lining as he waited on an explanation.

"It's just been a long day." She shrugged, knowing they'd have to talk about what he did eventually, but she didn't have even an ounce of the strength to start such a conversation.

Pulling in a deep breath, she prepared for him to push her. He could always tell when something was bothering her, usually could pick up on when she was lying to him.

"We'll figure things out tomorrow." He assured her as he rubbed comforting hands up and down her arms, before walking past her to get to his side of the bed.

Her brows knotted as she turned her head to follow him.
As much as she didn't want to fight with him, the fact that he didn't want to push the issue left a dull ache inside her chest and left her wondering how much he still cared about her –if he still did at all.

Her bare feet lightly padded on the hardwood floor as she turned around and watched him get into their bed.

Months ago, he wouldn't have been able to sleep if the thought something was wrong between them. She still remembered him showing up at her apartment in the middle of the night in pajamas when he couldn't sleep because she angry with him.

"You coming to bed?" He asked, as she continued to stand there and stare at him.

Silently, she nodded and shut the lamp on her bedside table off.
As she crawled into the bed, he turned and put his back to her and she laid her head down on her pillows and helplessly stared at his form in the glow the streetlights and moon cast through the curtains.

She wasn't sure how long she'd laid there staring at his back –whether it had been hours or mere minutes that passed since they'd laid down, before she whispered, "Harvey?"

"Hmm?" He groggily answered.

"Do you think we really ever had a shot at making this work?" She said so softly her voice was barely audible over the sounds of traffic and sirens in the near distance.

"What?" He questioned, turning over to face her, "What are you talking about?"

"I do." Her voice started to grow hoarse, "Maybe if I'd never got sent away to Arkham, you know? Or maybe if we'd just packed up and left Gotham when you wanted to...I think we might have actually been able to pull it off."

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

He wanted to tell her that it wasn't over; wanted to promise that they'd find a way out of the mess their relationship had turned into –just as badly as she wanted to blame her heartache on lack of sleep and an extremely trying day.

But there was a feeling of defeat hanging heavy in the silence that seemed to fill up the space between them.

His eyes burned as he reached out and took her hand in his, both of them aware that their fingers didn't even seem to fit together like they used to.

There was a time that he'd promised her that no matter how dark the night got –the sun would always rise again. No matter what storm came their way, they could weather it as long as they were together.
A time that now felt lifetimes ago between two very different people then they were now.

Harvey brought her hand up to his mouth and placed a gentle kiss to her soft skin as he watched a tear roll down the side of Bird's face and start to soak into the pillowcase.

•••

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top