Sydney 

My mouth hangs open and my eyes are wide as I apply one final layer of mascara, for the sixth time. I'm stalling. B told me where he would be, and I had thought maybe if I were prepared before seeing him, instead of it being a surprise, that  then I'd actually be able to speak.  

But then, what would I say? What if he's not even there? And if he is there, well, he's there for her, not me. 

Do I really even want someone whose slept with Brittney? Then again, it's not his fault she's such a whore. Plus, I really wouldn't be 'getting him' anyway. 

I take a deep breath and step out of the hotel room door. If I have anything working for me this time, it's that I feel amazing. My hair and makeup are perfect and my tight black dress is just long enough to ensure that you don't see ass. 

The elevator ride goes too fast and doesn't leave me with the time I needed to compose myself. By the time the door opens and I step out, a lump has formed in my throat and I'm pretty sure I'm sweating like a man. Cute.  

It's complete chaos out here, there are legit ten year olds trying to get into the hotel bar. Security isn't letting anyone by. My mind has jumped from giddy fangirl mode to problem solver. 

I walk straight to the front of the line. 

"Excuse me miss, the bar is full. You need to wait in line if you want a chance to get in." 

One glance into the bar area was all I needed to see that this plan has a chance at working. I need to go for it before I chicken out.  

"Oh I'm not really trying to get in, I was here at lunch today and I think I left my card at the bar."  

The bouncer raises his eyebrows at me. 

"Nice try." He says, dismissing me and turning back towards the line. 

"No really! Please, will you just ask the bartender? I really need my money!" 

He looks back and forth between me and the mostly empty bar, trying to decide if he believes me. Full bar my ass, but, I'm able to see him in there. This has to work! 

"Please! That one right there! Ask her!" I say pointing to the bitchy bartender from last night whose currently serving Liam. 

I try to remain stable and pretend that seeing him has no effect on me. They've both looked up at the sound of my pleas.  

"Hey Tammy!" The bouncer shouts across to the bar, "this girl here says she left her card earlier today, you got anything back there?" 

"No cards here today!" She responds, shaking her head. 

It's okay though, because Liam is looking at me and smiling. He's smiling. 

At me. 

"I'm sorry miss but you're going to have to leave now." 

He's still smiling at me. 

He beckons over his body guard and I see his lips move as he nods towards me. 

"Ma'am..." 

His security guard starts in my direction and I hear nothing but the beat of my heart and the blood pounding in my ears. I try to settle my shaking hands but forget what thoughts are required to make them move.  

"Mister Payne would like it if you would join him at the bar." Says Liam's security. I recognize him as the same man who brought us our drinks last night.  

I've got this. 

I follow him forward but not without looking back over my shoulder to smile one final time at the bouncer. He knows he got played. I'm feeling quite proud of myself for the next 12 seconds it takes me to walk across the room.  

"Let me get that for you!" Liam says, jumping to his feet and pulling out the chair beside him.  

His smile is heart-stopping. It's so hard to connect the reality of the man I've looked at in pictures for years, to the real body standing in front of me. I sit down and tug at the hem of my dress wishing I had picked something just a tad bit longer.  

"Will your friend be joining us? Should I ask my security to wait for her?" He asks, looking over my shoulder. 

My heart sinks to the bottom of my stomach. The phrase 'gutted' suddenly makes perfect sense. 

"Um, no, she wont be coming... but uh, she told me you would be here and that I should come." 

"I hope that's alright!" I add nervously. 

Fuck. This sucks.  

"Of course it is!" He says quickly, leaving his mouth open just a tad too long at the end. 

"What is it?" I ask, assuming he had more to say. 

"Honestly?" 

I smile and nod, though I'm terrified of his answer. 

"Honestly I feel really uncomfortable knowing she's married, I'm a bit relieved actually. That she isn't here that is...." 

All the tension falls from my shoulders. The heavens consume my body and lift my heart back up to its rightful throne. I knew he was a gentleman. He still slept with... 

But no. He had been drinking and she threw herself on him. It's not his fault.

"But, then why are you here if not to meet her?" I need this last piece to fall into place. I need to know he wasn't waiting for her. 

"Well Niall is still up in the room, I'm waiting on him. Plus I thought if she came, I could let her know how I felt. That I don't approve and it makes me feel ruddy." 

"That may not have been very nice though" He says as an afterthought. "Either way I guess I'm just glad that it's you here." 

The smile on my face is out of control. He can't do this! He can't say things like this and expect me to remain calm!  

His squinted eyes and hooded brow make every smile look like he's trying to seduce you. The small lines beneath each of his eyes, his thick eyebrows, the slight dimple on just his left cheek. I've studied this face for so long and it's taking every ounce of self-control to not reach out and touch it.  

"Would you like a drink?" He offers. 

"Oh yes! Please! Thank you!" God knows I could use a drink right now. Just something to relax the nerves, make me a bit more comfortable. It's amazing that I've barely touched my phone this weekend.  

A drink is placed in front of me and I take a sip. It's fruity, not my normal choice, but, who the hell am I to complain. Liam fucking Payne just bought me a drink. At least, I hope he's paying for it. 

I reach into my purse and pull out a ten to put on the bar top. It's rude to not at least offer.  

"What are you doing? You don't need to pay for that." Liam says, sliding the bill back over to me. I didn't think he'd let me, but, I didn't want to appear as though I assumed he would pay for me.  

"Well thank you!" I smile graciously. "So, why were you glad it was me here? You didn't exactly speak to me at all last night? In fact, I'm pretty sure you gave me an angry look." I can't believe I said it!  

He smiles again, though this time it's soft and understanding, as if he knows how hard it was for me to ask such a vulnerable question.  

"I wasn't glaring at you, I'm sorry if you got that impression." 

He's perfect.  

"I was glaring at Niall." He let's out a deep breath as if he's about to make a confession. I lean forward to let him know he has my attention.  

"I had suggested that we come here when I noticed you inside. I had recognized you from earlier." 

He did remember me! Oh my gosh! Not only was I noticed by Liam, I was remembered! The hashtags running through my head really reveal how pathetic my life is, and yet, here I am, living the dream of every girl in the world. Fan or not, everyone loves Liam!  

"I'm sorry about that, I was just so shocked, I couldn't remember which button to push to hold the door." I say laughing at my confession.  

He laughs too. 

"I actually saw you girls at the concert too." He reveals.  

I laugh even more. 

"There's no way! Are seats were super far away!" 

"I saw you guys after, walking in the smoking section of the breezeway. I was up on the balcony." 

"You didn't!" I say in shock as my hands fly up to cover my mouth! How frigging embarrassing. 

He laughs at my reaction. 

"That's so embarrassing! I can't imagine what type of impression you must have of me!"  

"The type of impression that caused me to come in here after you last night" He says with a knowing smile while sliding a hand up my leg.  

I freeze. I want this. I do. But, oh my god is this really fucking happening. He's looking into my eyes and despite the warmth between my legs, everything in my head is telling me this is wrong.  

I place my hand over his and gently slide it away.  

His face looks confused. Confused and rejected.  

"I'm sorry!" He says right away. 

"I'm sorry too." I say looking away from his eyes for the first time since I've sat down. "It's just that, well, you slept with my best friend last night and..." 

"But I didn't want to! It was you that I came here for!"  

"That, honestly, doesn't make me feel any better. I'm not that type of girl to just, sleep with someone I don't know. Being famous doesn't change that." 

He sits back in his chair and looks off to the side, starring at nothing in particular.   

"It's been a long time since I've been rejected by a pretty girl. I've forgotten how it feels." 

Ouch. Seriously I feel like shit. I lean over and pull his hand towards me, holding it in mine.  

"I'm sorry if I made you feel bad, it's just.... I mean do you normally just sleep with random girls you don’t know?" 

He looks back at me with one eyebrow raised as if saying "Do you really need to ask?"  

"Is that just since Sophia and you broke up? Or is that why she broke up with you?" I lash out without thinking. 

I know that was a bitchy thing to say, but I don't care. I'm so pissed off. I don't even know why, he's famous and gorgeous, of course he sleeps around. I guess I've just built him up in my head as this perfect gentleman, complete with morals and respectful of woman and it's so disappointing to discover otherwise.  

I wipe the tears in my eyes hoping he doesn't notice.  

"Fuck you." he says before tossing a bill on the counter and walking out of the bar

.  

I completely lose it. I think I'm going to be sick. My hands are shaking and there's no stopping the tears pouring from my eyes. None of that compares to the ache in my heart. He called me pretty. He wanted to see me last night! He wanted me tonight, but, he wanted to use me, not know me. 

Is that really so bad? Would it really have been all that bad to take him up on his offer. I'm young, girls my age have one night stands all the time - and none of them are with Liam Payne. 

Except Brittney. 

And I can't even blame her for it. I can't make excuses for him.  

Even if I could get past the fact that he slept with my best friend, I couldn't sleep with him. I couldn't put myself through that. It would mean the world to me and absolutely nothing to him. All my delusions of him falling in love with me would go out the window because you can't fall for someone you don't respect - and you don't respect a girl who gives it up so easy.  

"Sydney!!!! Syndney. Syd. You're here! What are you... what's wrong?" Niall says while he stumbles through the roped off entrance, I couple of familiar looking guys trail behind, maybe they're part of the crew. The bouncer glances at me again and shakes his head in confusion. 

"Umm... nothing, it's fine." I say wiping away the remnants of my tears.  

"Was Liam here? He was suppossda wait for me." He asks, slurring his words.  

It's Friday night. It must be after midnight, which means... 

"Happy Birthday Niall!" I smile genuinely.  

"Thabes oo sumuches Syndey!" He says, wrapping his arms completely around me, crushing me against his chest and making me feel for just a moment, that I am loved. His breath smells of stale liquor though and I quickly pull way. 

"Wabs Lime here?" He asks again? 

"Yeah, yeah but he just left a couple of minutes ago." 

"He wabs spossed to wait for me, till I cwould cwome drunk. Drink." He looks hurt that Liam isn't here for him and I feel bad that it's my fault he left. Even Niall's sweetness isn't taking away my guilt and confusion. 

"I'm really sorry Niall but I need to head back to my room now. I hope you have a great birthday though."  

"Nood don't go!" He says holding onto my arm and pulling me toward him again. I really don't like when people are this drunk. Seeing Niall such a mess is only hurting me more. Everything I've thought about my boys is wrong, and I can't even be mad at them because it's my fault for being unrealistic.  

"Niall please..." I say and pull away. He looks hurt and I hate myself as I turn and walk away. 

I divert my eyes from the suspicious looks of the bouncer as I make my way back to the elevator. How can I, a fangirl who 3 days never would have thought she'd even meet a member of One Direction, end up here? Hurting two boys in one night. Rejecting two boys in one night. And I've lost my best friend to boot. 

I step off the elevator and make my way to my room. I walk into the bathroom and look in the mirror. All the time I spent on my appearance to try and get Liam's attention and it turns out I didn't need to try so hard. Maybe the fact that I did try so hard is what gave him the impression that I would be so willing? 

I slip my dress off and step into the shower. I sit on the tub floor and let the hot water rain down, disguising my tears and drowning out my sobs. I'm not even sure what I am crying about at this point. I recall every moment of the night, every word said, every movement and facial expression and every time I come to the same conclusion. I ruined it. I was a bitch, and I ruined it. 

I climb into bed and shut off the lights. Focusing on the one happy point of my night and ignoring all else.  

Liam Payne said that I am pretty. 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 

BANG! BANG!  

My heart jumps as I sit straight up in bed and listen for what has made the noise. Nothing comes. I lay back down to close my eyes when 

"Syndey! Sydney are you awake?!" 

This can't be real? I say to myself rolling over in my bed. 

"Sydney please answer." Comes Niall's voice again, though this time he sounds hurt. I jump up and rush to the door. 

"Sydney!" He says excitedly as I open the door.  

"Niall? What is it?" 

He steps in to my room without answering. 

"I'm drunk Sydney."  

Obviously. 

"I can see that. Why are you here?" 

"I said I would come and see you tonight! Remember?" He says, too loudly for this hour, and this small of a space. 

I wince and squint my eyes as he turns the bedside lamp on.  

"Niall it's the middle of the night. I was asleep." I say to him. It seems so weird talking to one of my idols as if they were a child. But then again, this entire experience has been weird.  

"I'm sorry Sydney!" He says, letting his entire weight fall upon me as he tries to give me a hug, but trips instead. "Let's go to sleep now." he finishes as he reaches back behind him and turns the lamp off. 

He climbs into my bed and I stand there, frozen. Am I some sort of fucking super model and just never noticed it? Is this the second member of One Direction whose tried to sleep with me tonight?  

"Niall I am not going to sleep with you. I..." 

But I don't finish. Before he can lay down he hunches forward and vomits all over my floor. Are you effing kidding me? 

For the second time tonight, I wonder how in the world I've ended up in this mess.  

Liam 

I can't sleep.  

I've laid in my bed staring at the celling, slowly watching the numbers on the clock turn from 12, to 1, to 2, to 3. 

I feel awful.  

I can't just be hitting on every chick I meet who I think is hot. I can't just assume that every hot woman will let me fuck them. I can't do this, and yet, the only time I can forget about her is when I'm with someone else.  

I hate being alone. I hate that I can't be alone. I hate that I need people. I hate her. 

I hate her so fucking much and I'm letting that hate effect every decision I make, direct every action, influence every choice.  

Fuck, why did she have to bring her up. I've done so well at not thinking about her. She hasn't crossed my mind once since I received the missed call yesterday. 

Damn, I can't believe that was just yesterday. Ever since I saw the girl in the lift, my mind keeps floating back to her. Before I even knew her name, she was making me smile.  

Could she be my distraction?  

No. Listen to yourself Liam. You don't even know the girl. Why the hell are you thinking about her? You can't just use a girl as a distraction. 

But isn’t that exactly what I've been doing with every girl I've been with since we've started tour? 

Every girl but Sydney. She's the first one to say no.  

And I find that intriguing.  

Her soft blue eyes and perfect pouty lips. The way her voice quivers when she tries to appear calm. How her smile never seems to reach her eyes, except when she looks at me.  

I'm out of my bed and slipping on my sweats before I've even decided what it is that I'm doing. I pocket my hotel key and slip into the silent corridor. I need to find her and apologize. She didn't know about Sophia, she didn't know it would... how it would make me feel. I need her to know that I'm not trying to get her to sleep with me, that I just, want to see her.  

I step out of the lift and make my way to the concierge desk in the hotel lobby.  

"Umm... hello. I was wondering if you could provide me with someone's room number? 

"Do you have their name?" The lady says groggily. It's three in the morning after all. 

"Umm, just their first name: Sydney" 

"She types something into her computer. 

"Room 3811" She says without looking up at me. 

"Thank you Thank you!" I say appreciatively as I head back towards the lift. That was a lot easier than I expected it to be. I thought for sure I was going to need to pay her off or flash my ID or something. Not that she would recognize me. She looked like even her grandkids would be too old to know who I am. 

I step off onto the same floor I began on and made my way back towards my room. Rather than making a left at the intersecting halls, I turn right and make my way to the end. 

Room 3811.  

It looks like her lights are on, I'm glad that she's still awake.  

I knock lightly, courteous of any sleeping neighbors. 

I hear some stumbling and a loud hiss before the door opens. 

Standing in front of me is Niall. 

Shirtless and sweaty.