Liam 

Strands of silk slip through my fingers as I caress the hair of the girl curled beside me.  

Not the girl. My girl.  

My girlfriend.  

I hadn't exactly planned on asking her to be my girlfriend. Not yet anyway, she was right, it was too soon. Eventually, I had given it some thought, later on, make a big ordeal about it and announce it to all our friends and family. But last night, when the topic was brought up, I couldn't think of any reason to wait.  

"And you were afraid someone else might beat you to it." my subconscious adds.  

Jealousy aside, I don't regret my decision. In just the short time that I've known her, she's already got me hopping on airplanes to see her, and waking up sober more often than not. I'm not sure what it is that stood out about her, except that she wouldn't sleep with me. Is that really all it is? Am I going to get bored the moment she says yes? 

But no, her denying me only intrigued me, spiked my interest. It was actually talking to her that got me hooked. She's strong and she's real. I haven't heard one complaint from her about social media attacks, she isn't desperately trying to keep me, she hasn't asked me to buy her anything or introduce her to anyone, she genuinely seems interested in me.  

I lean over and plant a small kiss on the bridge of her nose, causing her eyes to flutter awake. When she takes site of me a smile grows on her face and she snuggles closer to my side. 

"Good morning babe." 

"Morning" She mumbles back into my chest.  

"Anything you want to do today?"  

"This." She says warmly. 

I wrap both arms around her pull her closer in to me. 

"This, I could do forever."  

Sydney 

The word forever has always scared me, but on Liam's lips, it sounded as enticing as heaven itself. Last night made me feel closer to him, and I'm not referring to the status change in our relationship. Liam was all about pleasing me last night, never asking for anything in return, and never pressuring me to do more than he knew I was ready for. He held my gaze the entire time, studied my reactions, my every twitch and responded without my instruction. I knew that when we ever... IF we ever.. that it would be amazing.  

"What are you grinning for?" Liam asks as his mischievous smirk appears in the mirror behind me. 

Gosh he's cute.  

"Just thinking about how you wont be able to kiss me all day." I say, returning his playful smile.  

"Really now? And why is that?" He asks, kissing me just below my ear.  

"Because..." I say, turning around to face him, "My genius boyfriend didn't think to pack me a toothbrush!" 

"Fuck!" He mutters, dropping his arms from around me and leaving the bathroom. 

"Fuck! Fuck!" I hear again as I step into the bedroom to see if he was truly upset. 

Liam stands at the hotel window looking down, pushing his fingers through his unkempt hair he rubs the back of his neck before turning around and grabbing his phone off of the night stand. I watch as he furiously presses buttons and puts the phone to his ear. I make my way over to the window to give him privacy. Glancing down, I see the cause of his frustration, and can't help but feel a little disappointed at his attitude towards the fans. Then again, It's completely understandable, not being able to go anywhere, or do anything. I was trying not to listen in on his conversation, but the closeness of the room makes this difficult. I'm easily able to deduce that he is speaking with Zayn - whose harsh accent travels through the speaker.  

"We're not going to be able to go anywhere any time soon." Liam says, ending his call and informing me of what I already know. I nod, letting him know that I understand.  

"That’s alright, remember, I wanted to stay in today anyway." I say encouragingly as I pull myself in, hoping that my acceptance of the situation will calm him down.  

He kisses my forehead. 

"Are you sure?" He asks me, not ready to believe me. 

"I live here Liam, there's literally nothing we could do today that I haven't already done. But... " I say as I let go of him and grab the blanket off of the bed, "cuddling and watching TV with you is a new experience I would like to try." 

Liam's face softens as he playfully pulls the blanket from my hands and wraps it around his entire body. He jumps on the couch and sprawls his long legs across the cushions, taking up all the available space. Laughing, he sticks his tongue out at me before pulling the blanket over his head.  

I jump on him and stretch my own body out across his before rolling over and reaching across him to the end table for the remote, being sure that my elbow digs into his side as I do so. As expected, he hunches forward and the blanket slips off of his face. He sits up, causing me to slide off of the couch, but he catches me and pulls me back on top of him. Both of us laughing at this point, I flip the tv on and burrow myself under the blankets with him.  

"Perfect." I mummble.  

"Hmm.. I was thinking the same thing."  

"What should we watch?" I ask him. 

"Whatever you want." he says, ignoring the tv and leaning in towards my face. 

"No! I told you! I haven't brushed my teeth!" I protest, pushing him away.  

"I don't care." He says, pulling me back in towards him. 

"You're gross. I care!" 

"Will you settle for some mouthwash?" He pouts.  

I smile, unable to resist that quivering bottom lip.  

"Yes!" I say, defeated.  

He sits up and walks off to the bathroom, returning quickly with a bottle of Listerine. I grab the bottle from him and shake my head.  

"Where did you think I was going to spit this out at?" I say as I stand up and walk back to the bathroom. 

"Oh." 

I open the bottle and tip it back, choosing to forgo using the lid as a cup. I mean, we kiss right, and it's not like sharing a toothbrush. I swish the alcohol around while Liam stands behind me, making faces trying to cause me to laugh. I close my eyes in an attempt to ignore him, but feel his fingers creeping up my sides. I decide to spit before he causes it to come out in a less attractive way.  

I wipe my mouth with one of the many hand towels lining the bathroom sink and then run back to the couch to curl under the blankets. Liam returns to the room looking at me with one eyebrow raised.  

"It was cold! I wanted back under the covers." I said, justifying my behavior.  

He shakes his head and joins me on the couch, pulling me onto his lap and covering us both with the large blanket.  

"How about you put on Harry Potter." He says, his lips brushing my ear. "That’s your favorite right?" 

I smile at his thoughtfulness and begin flipping through the available rentals until I find The Sorcerer's Stone. As the movie begins Liam's fingers interlock with my own and his thumb brushes a slow rhythm across the top of my hand.  

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” 

Half way through the movie and my eye's are fluttering to stay awake. Liams thumb has settled firmly around the back of our interlocked hands, while his other hand roams freely through my tangled hair.  

"Are you happy?" he asks, speaking for the first time since we've started the movie. 

"What? Yes, why?" I respond, taken aback by his question.  

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't regretting.... regretting agreeing to a relationship with me." 

"You make it sound like a business deal, geez!" I say, playfully hitting his shoulder. "I don't regret it, why, are you?" I ask, suddenly a bit worried.  

"No! No no, not at all, I just... I know you were hesitant, and I was worried that maybe you only agreed because, you were tired, or annoyed, or.." 

"Or had been drinking?" I finish for him. 

"Yeah..." He says, looking away from me. 

"I do think it's soon, we still don't know much about each other and I don't know how it's all going to work while you're traveling, but, I'm willing to grow with you." I say, squeezing his hand to reassure him. He smiles at me and it's a real smile, one that reaches his eyes and creates the small little dimple on his left cheek.  

"We can change that. What do you want to know about me. I'm an open book." He proclaims before planting a gentle kiss on the tip of my nose.  

I narrow my eyes at him and remove all traces of joking from my face.  

"You know what I want to know Liam." 

His smile falls and the movie in the background is drowned out the sound of my heartbeat. I know how much he dislikes this topic.  

"Why does that have to... why does it have to be part of us?" 

"Because it's part of you Liam. Every experience makes you who you are, and something about her, and how you two ended, changed you. It made you drink more, it made you slee... it made you quit caring about a lot of things."  

He doesn't respond but continues to look down, away from me. 

"I'm always going to wonder if you're still in love with her. Every time you drink I'm going to wonder if it's to numb the pain, and forget the memories. I'm going to wonder if I'm a rebound. I'm going to worry that it ended because you cheated and maybe you can't be trusted. Maybe she just did a bunch of little things that annoyed the shit out of you, and I may accidently do the same things and push you away too."  

Liam finally looks up. 

"I never.. I would never cheat." He says. And he leaves it, simple as that.  

We sit in silence, this time my thumb brushes the top of his hand and I look down to admire it. His palm is large enough to cover my wrist, and his thick fingers remind me of our moment last night. I have the urge to pull it towards me and kiss him, but my mind is pulled back when he speaks.  

"I'll tell you, but, you first." 

"What?" I say, both stunned that he's agreeing to tell me, and confused by his request.  

"Tell me about your last relationship."  

I suck in air, not expecting that.  

"Okay." 

"Okay?" He says, surprised I agreed so quickly. 

"Yes, but.." I pull the blanket back up over my shoulder and lay my head on his lap again, "I want my new and much better boyfriend to hold me while I talk about it." I say cheesily.  

He smiles and wraps his arms around.  

"His name, was Figaro." 

"Figaro?" He snorts. 

"Yes." I say with a laugh. "Figaro and I both started working for the newsline at the same time. Me as a receptionist, and him as a janitor." 

"You dated a janitor!" Liam interupts again. 

"Kind of. I didn't like him at first, I mean he had this weird haircut and, well, he was a janitor." I say and we both laugh.  

"But..." 

"But we had to set up for a holiday party together, ended up talking, and it turns out that we actually had a lot of similar interests. I started to think that his smile was kind of cute, and he just sort of started to grow on me after that." 

"So what happened?" 

"Well, he got a promotion! He became shipping manager and I agreed to go out for drinks to celebrate, since, you know, he wasn't a janitor anymore. We became really good friends, but there was always this underlying flirtiness to the relationship that we both tried to ignore since, dating coworkers is kind of looked down upon in most companies." 

"But you guys ended up dating." 

"Yeah, we had too many drinks one night, ended up confessing our feelings for each other and just decided to keep it hidden from everyone at work." 

"Did they find out and force you to break up?" 

"No no we kept it hidden for awhile. There were a handful of people who knew that we trusted, but never any of the big bosses." 

"So what happened?" 

"I got promoted and became his boss." 

"Oh."  

"Oh? What's that supposed to mean?" 

"I could see how that would cause problems." 

"Really? I didn't get it! He broke up with me the day I got the promotion. I thought we were going out to dinner to celebrate, but instead, he planned a dinner, reservations and everything, just to break up with me. He said he couldn't feel like a man at night, when I spent the days talking down to him." 

"Wow." 

"Right? I was just like, if you're worried about "feeling" like a man, you're not manly enough for me. Grow some balls dude!" 

"Harsh!" 

"Do you think so?" 

"Well now I'm wondering if I'm man enough for you?" He says, hand over heart, faking concern.  

"Oh you're definitely man enough for me." I say, biting my lip and playfully giving him a seductive look-over.  

"Are you ready to make me feel like a man?" He asks, returning my smirk and pulling me onto his lap.  

"Nope! It's your turn now!" 

Liam sighs heavily and looks up with his sweet puppy eyes.  

"I was hoping you would forget about that." He says, pushing his bottom lip out. 

"Quit! We made a deal." I say as I put my hand over his mouth to diminish it's effect on me.  

"Promise... promise you wont hate me. Promise you'll still be with me." 

The look of worry in his eyes made me realize just how serious this is, and I suddenly felt guilty for pressuring him into telling me, but, my curiosity still outweighed my guilt so I gave him the assurance he needed.  

"I'll still be right here babe. I promise." I say as I finally give him the kiss he had been waiting for all day.  

"Ooohh.." He whimpers as I pull away. "Okay." 

Holding my hands tightly, I feel his palms clams up as he starts to speak.  

"Tour started the end of April, so, It would have been the end of March I think, when she told me." 

"When she told you what?" I ask softly. 

"That she was pregnant." 

My heart fell into my stomach and my hands that were clenching his loosened.  

No.  

No.  

Liam 

"When she told you what?" She asked, encouraging me to continue. I clenched my eyes shut as I muttered the next couple of words. 

"That she was pregnant." 

I felt Sydney's grip on me loosen and I opened my eyes. The look on her face was a mix of fear and disgust, and pain. I didn't want to hurt her, this is what I was afraid of, but I started, and I had to keep going.  

"I was leaving on tour soon, but our stint in South America was only a few weeks. I would have been back in time... I was ready, I was willing... but... but she ended it anyway. 

She had an abortion. She killed my baby." 

|| Okay so comment, COmment, COMMENT! I need reactions! I have been so excited about revealing this and I can't believe it's taken 27 chapters, but finally, you all know! Also, if you could all please comment with how you found my story, I am just curious in knowing where most of my readers are coming from so I know which avenues of 'advertising' work best! Thanks for the nearly 14K reads guys! It's amazing! And as always, if you love the story, please share! ||