|| Hey guys, I just want to give a HUGE appology for how long it took me to update this chapter. It was a tough chapter for me to write, and I hope the fact that it is more than twice as long as any chapter I've ever written will make up for it! Please excuse any errors, after spending 6 weeks writing the this, the last thing I wanted to do when I was finished, was read back through it all to check for errors. So since this is already increadibly long, just wanted to remind you guys about my blog: www.jamiejeanzz.com (where I give a fairly suitable reason as to why I was struggling with writing this chapter) and for those of you who don't check my profile - my twitter and insta name is @1D_inLA ||

Sydney 

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm not in this for the perks. I fell in fan-love with Liam over hours of countless interview clips and senseless tweets. The clueless boy with immense determination, the desire to be mature with a child's heart, and those sweet puppy dog eyes and pouty lip. There's no denying that I truly care about Liam. 

But there's also no denying how nice it was to drink freely without worrying about how I was going to get home. Despite the fact that I had to call in sick the next day and take public transportation to retrieve my vehicle that’s now been ticketed for overnight parking, I still had a great night out with Rae and Julian. If this is the carefree lifestyle that I can expect from dating - talking? I still don't know - with Liam Payne, than who am I to complain.  

Unfortunately taking 2 days off last week for the concerts, and calling in sick yesterday, leaves me going in to the office to catch up on a Saturday morning. At least I have the office to myself. I turn my music up, close the shades, remove my shoes, and begin reading articles backwards, checking for missing comma's.  

It isn't long before my mind wanders back to yesterday (oh I believe, in yester.... no? anyone?). I'm so easily distracted. This is why I never get anything done. I change my ipod to some Beetles tunes, just go get it out of my system.  

Yesterday the boys had another show in Texas, but Liam still managed to talk on the phone with me while I curled under my blanket nursing my hangover. I was so embarrassed when he told me I had called him the night before. I don’t remember any of it but he assured me that I didn’t say anything to scare him off or make him think I’m crazy.  

He told me how boring being cooped up in hotel rooms and tour busses can get after so much time on the road, and that to pass up the time, he’s decided to begin reading Harry Potter.  

My heart literally melted, not only did he remember my favorite book, but he’s actually reading it in an attempt to take interest in something I love. As if being a fucking member of One Direction isn’t enough, he’s going to delve into the world of my only other obsession. He asked me questions about the characters and the plot line and asked me to explain things he didn’t understand and it was absolute heaven. I am so easy to please and he did the ultimate gesture. When it was time for him to head to the stadium, he even made a kissy noise over the phone. Shut up I know how lame and mushy that sounds, but I loved it and just the thought brings flutters back to my heart.  

I woke up this morning to a message he had sent after the show last night just saying good night and he’d talk to me tomorrow.  

Which hasn't happened yet. I'm not trying to play games, but, I'm hoping he'll send a second text, so it doesn't seem like I reply all the time. Show that I'm busy, have a life, and don't think about him 24/7. Hell who am I kidding, I thought about him 24/7 even before I met him, now it's like 60/1. A second doesn't go buy that he isn't some how on my mind.  

Distractions come easy when there is nothing around. The drip of a leaky faucet, a fly in the window, the buzz of my cell phone disappointing me with another Twitter notification.Refusing to give in to my needy desires to text Liam, I send a quick message to Niall instead. At least he will be able to keep me company while I finish this article, and maybe even shed some light on why I haven't heard from Liam all day.  

"Hey Niall! How was your show last night? I saw the pics, you looked great!"  

I toss my phone in the top drawer of my desk and go to make a pot of coffee, vowing not to check my messages again until I've completed at least one article. 

Two articles and an entire pot of coffee later and all I've gotten back from Niall is a simple. 

"Thanks :)"  

And still nothing from Liam. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. As much as I am trying to convince myself that they're just in a meeting, or interview, or catching up on sleep, I can't help but worry that something has happened to change his mind about me. Did him and Sophia make up? Has management asked him to not see me? Has their been negative fan reactions to us seeing each other? 

I do a quick Twitter search of my name to see what I find. Thankfully their hasn’t been too much talk since we haven’t been seen together since Sunday. There's one shot of me at the bar the other night with Julian and Rae that has caused some speculation, but nothing too bad. The fact that fans aren't attacking me left and right (yet) makes me feel loved. I know that if Liam and I become serious, it wont last, but for now it's nice to be accepted.  

I type "Liam Today" into the search bar to see is he's been spotted anywhere, but only come up with posts from yesterday of him and Zayn arriving to the stadium together.  

I turn my monitor off, send B a message, pocket my phone and grab my bag. Maybe she'll be free this afternoon to take Dylan to the zoo? Anything to keep my mind occupied.  

The drive home is relaxing, or at least it would be if I could quit checking my phone at every red light, but as far as traffic goes it's fairly light. I attempt to play some music, but it just frustrates me. My hands fidget and I tap my left foot.  

Buzz! 

My phone vibrates louder than normal from the inside of the cup holder. I snatch it up and open the message.  

"RAE: Hey, your friends are here for you. Are you going to be home soon?" 

Britt must have gotten my text and just headed to my house.  

"Yeah I'm on my way now. It's it just Britt or did she bring Dylan with her?" 

This has me excited. At least I have something to look forward to now. Maybe I need a day of complete normalcy will help me forget about the past week. I can't get hurt by something that I don't care about. Not that I don't want to care about him, just, care less.  

Buzzzzz! 

"RAE: I don't know, I don't know your friends. It's some blonde chick and a tall guy with long hair. He's kind of hot. I feel awkward. Can you please hurry?" 

I shake my head and toss my phone into my seat next to me. I didn't even think of inviting Rae to do something, we had such a good time the other night, I wonder if Britt would mind her joining us. And long hair? I know I haven't seen her husband in awhile, but, I can't even begin to imagine him with long hair.  

I slow down as I enter my neighborhood, still trying to picture Chris with long hair. Maybe she isn't with Chris though? Maybe it's another one of her side guys? Or Julian? 

No, Rae would have recognized Julian. I park my car on the street behind a black SUV and grab my bag out of the passenger seat. I wonder who she has babysitting Dylan if he's not with her? I don't think his day care is open on the weekends?  

I pull open my front door and am greeted by Zerrie's bellowing barks and tail wag. 

"Hey pretty girl!" I say scratching her ears while shoving my knee into her chest to prevent her from knocking me over.  

"Oh my gosh you're finally here! Thank you I suck at small talk." Comes Rae's voice as she enters the kitchen.  

I laugh at her unnecessary anxiety.  

"You're ridiculous" I mock, as I walk into the living room, checking my messages and tossing my bag onto the plush red chair in the corner. 

"So where are we headed to?" I ask Britt. 

"Hello Sydney." Comes a slow drawing voice. I raise my head at the familiar cockney accent that - does not belong in my living room.  

"Uh He... hello." I stammer. I look around the living room, quickly whipping my body around full circle to be sure they are the only two in the room. 

"What... why.. are you here?" I ask, hoping I don't sound rude.  

Zayn laughs and squeezes his fiancé's hand , which he holds gently upon his own knee.  

"Liam requested back stage passes for the two of you for tonight's show. He had to do a couple of things before we get to the venue, so I thought you might like to spend some time with Perrie and I?"  

The lump in my throat prevents me from speaking, so I nod my head awkwardly, unsure if I should hug him, or bow down in thanks.  

"I... wow! I don't even know what to say! Thank you! Thank you so much. Umm..." I look down at my clothes. "I need to change, do you mind? How much time have I got?" 

"Actually, I thought I'd take you to get ready with us. I've already let my stylist know you would be attending and she's picked the perfect outfit for you." Perrie says excitedly. 

Remembering to breathe with one perfect human being in the room is difficult enough, but with two, I am amazed I haven't fainted yet. She is so sweet, and her voice is so cute!  

"I... oh my gosh. I just can't even put into words how nice that is." I look around the room again, trying to trigger anything else I may need to ask. They have everything so planned out, I'm at a bit of a loss for what I should do.  

"Well, I uh... I guess that’s everything then?" I ask with a question in my voice. "Just, let me feed Zerrie real quick and then we can head out."  

Perrie's hand flies to her mouth to cover her soft giggle. MY eyes go wide but Zayn gives me a reassuring smile before looking adoringly at P.  

"I already told her. It was one of the reasons she was excited to meet you." 

"Did you want to see her?" a voice says from behind me. "I kept her out of the living room so she wouldn't get hair everywhere." 

"Oh that would be lovely!" Perrie exclaims in response to my clueless roommate. She hops up and follows us both to the kitchen where Zerrie lies lazily across her too small doggy pillow. She lifts her head as we enter the room, then jumps to her feet and lowers her head, glaring behind me with a deep growl. . Perrie and I both turn to see Zayn leaning across the doorway with a sly smirk on his face.  

"Here girl!" He calls to Zerrie as he knees down and pats his knees.  

Zerrie cautiously makes her way across our small kitchen and sniffs Zayns laid out palms before wagging her tail and pushing her head up against his hands, forcing him to pet her. Mirrored smiles fill the room as we all show our joy in seeing this perfect specimen tame such an intimidating beast. 

The moment is interrupted by a loud vibration in Zayn's pocket. HE stands back up to check his phone, looks up at as, and says simply. 

"We're behind. We've got to go."  

"Oh ummm... okay, sorry just let me...." 

"It's okay, I'll take care of the dog, you just go." Rae says, giving me a small shove towards the door while handing me my jacket and purse.  

"Alright, let's go!" Perrie says clapping her hands together. 

The ride to the studio was as awkward as you would expect it to be. Zayn was silent, which was a change to the last time the two of us rode in a car together. Perrie asked a billion questions in an attempt to make me feel comfortable, which was very sweet, but my palms were sweating profusely, and although I was currently in a car with the cutest couple in a world, on my way backstage to see a band I love with the man that... gives me butterflies just thinking of, I can't help but feel anxious that I still haven't heard from him all day.  

I tried to hide the fact that I was nervously checking my phone every couple of minutes, but it didn't go unnoticed.  

"He's just busy making sure everything is perfect for you." Perrie whispered with a smile, sure to not draw Zayn's attention. I appreciate the gesture, knowing that it goes unsaid that my nervousness is something I wouldn't want him to know about. She squeezes my hand, "you get use to it eventually, that's what we're here for, El and I, we can relate."  

And at that moment, the smile on my face couldn't be contained. I felt the tears brimming on my eyelids, not at her sweet encouragement, but that she inadvertently included me in part of the "girl friend squad". Liam and I hadn't spoken about it yet, and I'm not even sure if it's something you officially decide together, or if it's just assumed after a certain amount of time and energy has been spent on the relationship, but the fact that she was confident that I belonged, made me feel like everything in the past week was even more real. A week. That's all it's been. 

"It’s only been a week you know..." I say to her, hinting that I was still unsure if that was the direction this was going in.  

"One week and he's called you out on stage, taken you to a party, and has flown out specially to arrange a night that you would enjoy." 

"I feel like a school girl, trying to decide how he feels about me when he's made it incredibly obvious - it just seems so unreal!" 

"Oh, that will never change either." She says with a laugh before putting a finger to her mouth, signaling that we'll speak more once we're alone.  

The car parks and the driver gets out to open our door. We are immediately greeted by 4 security guards, one of which I recognized as Preston. I wonder momentarily how he was able to come to my house without him, but, the thought it pushed from my mind as I see the crowd of cameras and the barricade of fans outside of the studio. 

"This only happens at shows that Zayn comes to." Perrie says, rolling her eyes as we safely enter the dressing room. 

"I can't complain, if I weren't in here, I'd probably be out there with the rest of them." I admit with a laugh.  

"I'll be back babe." Zayn says, lightly brushing his lips against Perrie's before him and Preston left.  

Perrie introduces me to the other girls as well as the stylist, Star, who would be working on me today. Star started off on my hair by using one of those strange curling irons with three barrels. You know the type that you always see but never buy because it looks too complicated to use. Apparently I need to learn because the end result is great. The amount of makeup on my face feels as if I'm wearing an entire store, but when I look in the mirror, you would know that I had anything on other than mascara and a light lip tint.  

"So why all this, just to watch the show from backstage?" I ask Perrie, hoping to get some information on what else is being planned.  

Perrie purses her lips and looks around the room before leaning in towards me, "Liam has something planned afterwards, kind of a double date type of thing." 

The excitement in my chest radiates over my face. A date. I don't know why that word causes these emotions, but just the thought of going on an actual date with Liam Payne, something he planned, sounds so... but then I remember. Could this be like the last time he planned something special for me?  

No.  

I'm not even going to let myself think about that. It's behind us now, and the parts of that night that he planned, were quite amazing. Nothing could ever compare to the moment I was serenaded on stage in front of thousands of people.  

"So you'll be joining us?" I ask P. 

"Yes! I was so glad that Liam included us, he really put a lot of thought into the night. He wanted it to be just couples." 

"So will Louis and Eleanor be joining us then as well?"  

Perrie's smile falls and I know that whatever I have asked is something that she doesn't like to talk about.  

"No uh... Louis and Liam, they aren't getting on the greatest at the moment." 

"Oh..." I trail off, not wanting to push for more. My mind wanders to what the issue could be. I always thought of Liam as the middle guy who kept everyone together. But seeing his behavior when he drinks, I could understand maybe why some of the roles have changed.  

"It's just that, well El and Soph were good friends." She continues unexpectedly.  

I, actually hadn't thought of that. I still don't know what happened in their relationship, but Liam always made it seem as though Sophia had done something wrong, so why would anyone, especially Louis, take sides?  

"And you? Were you close to them as well?" 

"Not as close as those two. They did more traveling together. I've got my girls, and my tour, so I didn't spend as much time with them. Of the two though, I have known El longer, and Louis and Z being such good friends, I've always been closer to her." 

I nod my head, not really sure what else to say at this point. I never thought about how Liam's relationship effected the rest of the band. I mean, it makes sense, but I'm just so surprised that if Sophia was the one in the wrong, that Louis would take her side in all of this. Niall says that Liam hasn't spoken about it with any of them though, so whatever Louis knows, he must know from Eleanor, and Eleanor is going to take her friends side. I find comfort in this theory and feel at peace with my decision to just blame Sophia for everything. I never liked her anyway. 

Star picks out an outfit for me that seems way too dressy for a concert, but once paired with a black leather jacket and ankle boots, I feel as if I could be dressed for anything. Perrie and the girls are lining up to head to stage and P gives me a hug and quick kiss on the cheek before heading off. I stand awkwardly at the side of the stage and watch the girls powwow as their opening music starts. The bustle behind and around me preparing for the show to start is the perfect representation of organized chaos. Orders are yelled, action occurs, people run, switches are hit, cords are pulled, and in the end, everything comes together.  

I sit and watch from Jade's side of the stage as the girls deliver a near flawless first act. Jessy had a bit of a blocking issue with Perrie at one point but I don't think it was noticed at all. The lights go down and the girls return back stage for a quick costume change. I was hoping for a word with Perrie before she went back on, but she was rushed away by her stylist before I could get a chance to catch her eye.  

I finally found a seat, which I was incredibly thankful for as the gorgeous booties Star dressed me in, were killer to stand in, even for just that first part of the show. I was beginning to consider sitting on the floor before a found a stray bucket to overturn. The girls return to the stage dressed in all black, the lighting is low and the mood is somber before breaking out with A Different Beat. I thought for sure they were going to do one of their ballads that I love them for, but, I sing and dance along on my bucket anyway.  

For what seems like the hundredth time this week, I take a moment to truly appreciate where I am. A small town girl from the east coast, moved to LA in the hopes of meeting her father, and instead, I meet the boy of my dreams. The boy of every girls dreams, and for some unexplainable reason, he noticed me. And hear I am, just days later, back stage of a concert, in designer clothing, casually talking to the people that just a week ago, I was only ever able to admire from magazines and YouTube videos.  

"Hey baby girl." 

My whole body jumps at the sound of the deep voice that tickles my ear. If it weren't for his solid arms that had suddenly wrapped around me, I would have completely fallen off of my bucket. I squeeze my arms tighter against my chest, and close my eyes ,laying my head on his biceps that are slinked over my shoulders. He nuzzles his chin against the side of my face , prickling me with his  beard, and I moan lightly in gratitude. His lips find my jaw line and he presses them  tightly against the base of my neck before whisper in my ear.  

"I've missed you." 

And everything floats away. Who he is, what he's done, where I am and how we've met. Right now, I am in the arms of a man that I care deeply about, a man who terrifies me with how little a truly know about him, and intrigues me with every knew thing I learn.  

"Me too." I finally murmur back.  

He lets go of me, and my arms fall to my lap. With one hand still on my waist, he slides it up and down my hips before patting my thigh and reaching for my left hand.  He pulls me up and turns me to face him. I notice Zayn standing behind him and I smile towards him in thanks. He gives me a knowing looking in response, he knows how long I've waited for this. Liam tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and caresses the side of my face.  

"Where you surprised?" He asks, searching my eyes for an honest answer. 

"Which time?" I laugh, "When I got home from work to find Zayn and Perrie on my couch, when I was told that I would be watching the concert from backstage, or" 

"Just now. When I showed up." He finished for me.  

My smile answers before I am able to and he leans in to take it from me. The taste of his lips is something I didn't even know I missed. Menthol and Liam. Menthol, warmth, and Liam. He presses harder and tugs on my bottom lip, but just as I lean in closer, he pulls away. The look in his eyes as he peers into my own is just as breathtaking as his kiss.  

"If you don't mind watching on the telly, there's more comfortable seats in the control room." Zayn says, reminding us both that he's still here.  

A slight blush crosses my cheeks, but I ignore it and take Liam's outstretched hand as he follows Zayn back to a comfortable room with couches, a mini-fridge, and multiple small TV's. Before I can take a seat between Liam and Zayn, Liam pulls me down on his lap and lifts my legs so they drape sideways over his knee. He buries his face in the crease of my neck and I giggle and squeeze his hand that is still interlinked with my own. I lay my head back on his shoulder and fall silent, doing my best to be engrossed in the show and ignore the thumb brushing back and forth across the top of my hand.  

It's impossible. The harder I try to focus on Jesy's dance or Leigh-Anne's solo, the more aware I am of Liam's hands, the tightness in his arms, the sound of his breathing. I decide instead to watch Zayn, the way his face light's up whenever Perrie moves to the front of the stage. His smirk when she rolls her body in a way that I know I could never mimic. He wear's his love for her so blatantly and it's the sweetest thing.  

The lights are lowered and the back drop reveals a starry night sky. Fog lifts from below the stage and the girls, all in gowns, stroll synchronized up the floor to the edge of the crowd. The drum line starts and my fingers tap in time to the familiar song on the palm of Liam's hand.  

"You turn, and I learn that the walls come falling down." 

"I love this song!" I whisper.  

Zayn stands up and murmurs something about watching from the side stage. I feel bad, wondering if we were making him uncomfortable, but am distracted from further concern by Liam's light kiss on my forehead. I turn my face towards him to give him a smile, just let him know I am enjoying his attention. I'm still in the stage of the relationship where I want him to make all the moves, and refrain from initiating anything myself. I don't need to though, because he takes the opportunity to gently peck my lips.  

"You're so cute." I say when I open my eyes, my lips still touching his.  

"Oh yeah?" He asks before pushing his lips tighter against mine again.  

"Mmmhmm." I mumble, refusing to open my mouth for him.  

"Kiss me" He says, low and sultry.  

"You never bought me flowers" I sing along with the girls, ignoring him.  

"Huh?" He asks, pulling back so that I can see his confused expression. 

"I told you. I love this song. You're interrupting it."  

He laughs and sits himself straight on the couch, causing my head to roll off of his chest. I sit awkwardly on his lap, waiting to see what he does so that I can readjust myself into a comfortable position. He grabs my leg closest to him, bends it up, and swings it around to the other side of his waist, forcing me to straddle his thighs. This doesn’t happen in one quick smooth move, but instead is rather stiff. I roll my head back and give a girly laugh to help loosen the strangeness of the situation.  

"I love your laugh." he says huskily as he holds me at my ribs and pulls me into him. Trailing his fingers down my side, I squirm and laugh more." 

"QUIT!" I squeal, grabbing his wrists and attempting to pull them away. This only causes him to dig his fingers deeper into my sides, resulting in my loud and embarrassing laugh that fills the empty room. My hands are no match for the strength of Liam Payne's arms, so I try for a distraction instead, leaning in and locking my lips with his, gently pulling at his bottom lip to let him know that I want in. His fingers loosen along with his jaw and his hands fall to my lower hips as I enter his mouth. My tongue brushes the top of his teeth before he meets it with his own. My thighs contract in response to his taste, and it brings my hips closer to his. I push my fingers through his short hair, and let my nails trail lightly down the back of his neck. He leans his head back, pushing his chest tighter against my own. I trace my tongue along the inside of his lips, not wanting to leave any area of him undiscovered. He places a hand at the back of my neck and gently pulls me towards him deepening the kiss. I can't remember the last time I made out with a guy like this. I was either drunk, or in high school. A small laugh escapes my lips as this thought settles with me.  

"What?" He asks, pulling away. 

"Nothing." I say, shaking my head with a small giggle, "I was just thinking that, well, making out on a couch is kind of... well it's something I haven't done since I was a teenager."  

"We could move to a closet if it would help you feel more nostalgic." He says with a smirk, nodding in the direction of a closed door I hadn't noticed before.  

This only makes me laugh harder, and I'm thankful when Zayn walks in that it hadn't been any sooner, as my current position on Liam's lap is embarrassing enough.  

"The driver is here, did you two want to go on ahead and we'll meet you there?" He asks, kindly ignoring my blushing face.  

"Yeah, we can do that." Liam says before I am able to fully take in the question. 

"Where are we going? What about the rest of the concert?" 

Zayn laughs. "The concerts over Sydney. Don't worry, stick around and you can go to as many as you'd like." 

Stunned by Zayn's comment, I find myself tongue-tied and unsure what to say. The concerts already over? Liam and Zayn and Perrie went through all the trouble to get me tickets, and I've missed it? And yet, he's telling me I could just, come again whenever I want, as if it's no big deal to take time off of work, fly around the country, and walk backstage into a concert whenever I feel like it. I just need to stick around long enough? Long enough. Is he saying there's a chance that I wont be around long? Does he know something that I don't?  

"Where are we going?" I repeat myself, choosing to ignore everything else that was said.  

"Just to dinner baby girl." Liam says, kissing my forehead. I relax, but only for a moment as he's already standing up and knocking me off of his lap.  

"How long behind us should you guys be?"  

"Perrie needs to get changed and then we'll be on our way." 

"Alright brother, see you in a few." Liam says to Zayn with a nod, while gripping my hand in his own before leading me back out the opposite way in which we came in.  

"Are you ready?" He asks as we approach the door. 

"Oh, um, yeah." I say, having completely forgotten the crowd that might be awaiting us behind the door.  

Liam pushes the door open and I am immediately blinded by the amount of flashes that go off. I hear my name yelled over and over and can't help but be a little excited at the fact that people know who I am. Stuff is being thrown, mostly folded up papers, and I stop in my tracks. Liam feels me holding back and turns to look at me, still ducking with his arms over my head.  

"We should stop and say hello." 

He smiles and takes one large step to close the difference between us, and leans down to whisper in my ear. "Lets make it quick, in case you didn't notice, I'm lacking security."  

I actually hadn't noticed, and suddenly feel a little unsure about the idea I had just seconds before. Liam see's the fear in my eye's and squeezes my hand to reassure me before taking a step towards the fans at the front of the gate.  

"Hey there, let's get a couple of quick ones before the paps get too fiesty. I don't want to see any of you guys get hurt." 

And he's right, the moment he begins talking to the fans, the taller men in the background start pushing their large camera's forward, with no care for who they are hitting in the process. 

"Here, give me all your phones, and I'll get one large group picture for all of you guys." 

I have at least ten phones thrust towards me and I take as many as I can, quickly snapping the same picture of Liam in front of the barricaded fans on each device before handing them back to the girls they belong too.  

"Alright Alright, sorry we couldn't get you all." Liam says starting to walk away as I hand the last phone back to the girl 3 rows deep into the crowd. They all start asking each other for their contact information so they can share the pictures with one another and I can't help but smile, wishing I could hug them all because I know exactly where each of them are and how they feel right now.  

We wave behind us as we step into the Escalade and receive a chorus of Thank You's and I Love You's as we close the door behind us.  

Once settled into the car, I ask Liam the hugely obvious question that I seem to have overlooked over this past week.  

"So, why haven't you got a security guard like the rest of the boys?" 

"I fired him." 

"What? Why? And why haven't you gotten a new one?" 

Liam sighs, and I can tell he doesn't want to answer. But he does anyway.  

"I was drunk, and I fired him. I haven't gotten a new one, because I want him back, but, I can't get a hold of him. He wont take my calls." 

"How long has It been?" 

"About two weeks." 

I don't know what to say. I can tell he's ashamed of himself, and obviously upset at his lost. I curl into his arms for comfort, and we go the remainder of the ride in silence.  

The car pulls up to a hotel in LA that I recognize as one that the boys have stayed at often. My phone buzzes in my pocket as we are exiting the car, and I retrieve it to check my messages. I get excited to see that it's Niall and quickly open it.  

"Niall: I see you got your surprise! Hope you're enjoying it!"  

That little... 

"I can't believe you kept this from me! I was going crazy ALLLL day! But I love it! Wish you could have came!" 

I look up to see Liam looking over my shoulder. I hit send and pocket the phone.  

"So he didn't tell you? I was worried he would."  

"No. I was so annoyed this morning that neither of you guy's were responding to me." 

"You text him? But, you didn't send me anything." 

I ignore how childish he sounds right now.  

"I didn't want to text you first. I didn't want to seem clingy or anything. I don't care what Niall thinks of me, so yeah, I sent him a message." Hopefully that will be flattering enough for him to not question me again. 

"Well maybe I don't want to seem like the clingy one." Liam murmurs as he pulls me in for another quick kiss before entering the elevator.  

I lean into his shoulder once we're inside, and pull my phone out again.  

"Niall: Liam didn't want me around - thought I might be some sort of competition I guess ;)" 

Great. I know Niall is joking, but, I also know that Liam is reading over my shoulder and that's bound to piss him off.  

"Sorry babe. Couples only :)" 

Here's to hoping again, that my response will satisfy Liam and help him feel secure in our relationship. I don't want him upset with Niall, but I can tell with how still he's gotten that he isn't happy with me talking to him. 

The elevator stops and we are at the top floor of a bar I've been to countless times. The security outside the elevator doors recognizes Liam right away and lets him through without carding either of us. The lighting behind the curtains is dim and we are seated at a small coffee table, lit by candle light, with two couches on either side. We are on a balcony and have a view of the full bar below, and each table-set is sectioned off by it's own curtain.  

"This is, so... cool." I say, unable to find a better word to describe it all.  

"I'm glad you like it." Liam says, motioning for me to take the seat next to him on the low leather couch.  

I pick up a menu and begin sifting through, not having realized before now how hungry I am. My phone in my pocket vibrates again and I feel Liam's eyes on me as I ignore it. The waiter comes by for our orders and I set the menu down to signal that I am ready. 

"I'll just have a glass of scotch." Liam says cooly.  

"I'll take an order of the tempura green beans and.... a Whiskey Sour please." 

"Will that be all?" The waiter asks, seemingly upset that I'm not ordering more.  

"We have two more joining us." Liam responds.  

My phone vibrates again, and this time I am sure to roll my eyes and look annoyed when taking it from my pocket.  

Two new messages: 

"Niall: Well, you could always set me up with your roommate, and then I could be part of the couples crowd too." 

I feel as though I've been punched in the stomach. I know that I have no rational reason to feel this amount of jealousy, but, I do. I'm hurt, and I can't explain why. I want to send a sad face, to let him know that I don't like that idea. To have him reassure me that he only wants her because he can't have me.  

And then I realize how crazy I sound. Why would I want him to want me? I have Liam. I like Liam! Liam likes me. Niall is my friend. 

My friend whose attention I really like. 

That's it. I just, like being liked by Niall. It's flattering, and I feel comfortable with him. He really is a good friend, someone I can cry to, some one I can trust, and I don't wan to share that. I don't want to lose our friendship just because he gets a girl friend. I don't want him to like anyone else more than me. 

No!  

I don't want our friendship to get in the way of any relationship that he would be in, which would surely happen. Like is happening now, with Liam and I. Would Niall still choose to speak to me? Or would he quit, so that his girlfriend wouldn’t feel threatened by me? But if his girlfriend were Rae, I mean, she's my friend, and she knows that I am with Liam. 

But Niall is Liam's friend, and Liam still doesn't like us talking.  

Then again, if Niall had a girlfriend, maybe Liam wouldn't mind us all being friends. Like us with Zayn and Perrie!  

I decide to ignore Niall's message and open the second one.  

"Hey girl! Hadn't talked to you since the other night, glad to see you got home alright and are having a good time with my boy! You two have fun tonight, and let your blondie friend know I'd like to see her again ;) - Juls" 

I shake my head and smile.  

"Thanks Julian! I wont ask how you got my number, but I'm sure you're capable of getting hers the same way. I don' t play messenger ;)"  

"Niall again?" Liam asks. 

"Yeah, and Julian!" I say, being sure to sound annoyed. 

Zayn and Perrie walk in before Liam has a chance to respond, and I hop up to give Perrie a hug. Her and I immediately begin talking about the show and she asks for my favorite parts, favorite costume, and if I saw Jesy trip. I had to explain to her that I missed most of the second half due to Liam arriving and being a right distraction. She laughs, squeezes my hand, and tells me how happy she is that he has found me.  

We all order another round of drinks and Perrie starts telling me all about her wedding plans. The type of dress she wants, and how her girls have been arguing for months over who gets to be the Maid of Honor. The tells me how she is determined to make them all wear the ugliest colored dresses despite whose who in the line up, as their punishment for constantly arguing about it.  

Sometime between round 3 and 4 of drinks, Zayn and Liam's conversation starts to get loud and we begin listening in. They're talking excitedly about future tattoo ideas and the potential idea of writing a song solely off of the experience of getting inked.  

"We'll have to get master Styles in on the song writing process." Liam jokes. 

"Ahh but poor Niall will have nothing to contribute." Zayn adds. 

"Speaking of poor Niall" Liam draws out, emphasizing the poor, "Is that little fucker still bothering you?" 

I realize that he's looking at me, but I'm still a little shocked at his words to comprehend what he's asking. 

"I, uh, never responded back to him." I stutter, pulling out my phone to check. 

I see that I do, in fact, have another message from him.  

"Niall: I think you should give me her number ;)" 

The jealousy is a lot more muted this time and I silently thank the amount of alcohol I've had for that.  I ignore the message and slip the phone back into my coat pocket. 

"He's a little fucker, you know that right?" Liam continues to anyone who will listen. "He likes to fuck, and he doesn't care who it is." 

"You're one to judge..." Perrie mumbles under her breath.  

Zayn's eyes go wide and, the jealousy that was so for me easy to ignore just seconds before, flares up inside like no other.  

"You can shut the fuck up!" Liam says to Perrie. 

"That's enough!" Zayn says sternly, only slightly raising his voice. 

I am feeling very uncomfortable and am suddenly worried about how I am getting home if this ends badly, which it's sure to do.  

"He can't be trusted. He doesn't care who he fucks." 

"That's enough Liam." Zayn repeats, though not as harsh this time, as Liam has redirected his anger away from Perrie.  

"He will fuck his friends girls. He doesn't care, he has no loyalty, no since of friendship. He can't be trusted! " Liam yells.  

Perrie looks between Zayn and I, revealing a combination of freight and regret. Zayn takes in both of our responses and stands up.  

"Liam man I think it's time you slow down on the drinks. Let's get you a water. Girls, how about you head up to the room."  

"Don't talk to him Sydney! He just wants to fuck you! He only wants you cause you’re mine! He doesn't care about you." 

I look into Liam's eyes one last time before I grab on to Perrie's hand and turn my back, blinking the tears from my eyes. I'm not sure which part is upsetting me. The fact that Liam is yelling, which scares me. Or that Liam is drunk, that he's saying such awful things about Niall, who he's supposed to love. That he say's Niall doesn't care about me, which I know can't be true. Of course Niall cares about me, he's my friend, and he's never, really tried anything with me. I mean sure, he flirts, but he's had me alone in a hotel room on more than one occasion, and he never tried to make any advances towards me. Then there's te fact that he called me his. He said I belonged to him, which, is sweet, something that I want to hear, something that I want so badly to be true, but because he is drunk and yelling it in disgust, it takes away all the specialness of the moment.  

God I am stupid if that's even on my list of reasons as to why I am upset right now.  

"I'm sorry" Perrie whispers, wiping the tears from her own eyes.  

The elevator door closes and I hug her. Something I wouldn’t normally feel comfortable doing, but because I've been drinking, and we just shared a rather personal moment together, I feel close enough to do so. We both drop the embrace as the elevator dings, and each take a breath to muster up the strength we need to pretend that neither of us are as effected by Liam's outburst as we truly are. We're the same in that way I guess, never wanting to show weakness. I like her. 

"I hope you don't give up on him because of this." Perrie says, opening the door to the hotel room, "This isn't him, this is just what she has caused him to turn into, he's really such a sweet, loving man. I see that side of him again when he is with you." 

I hear what Perrie says, but I'm still just so overwhelmed by everything that just happened, that I'm not really processing my response to it yet. It happened so fast, I'm not even sure how it went from joking to anger so quickly. 

I simply nod at her.  

"I'm just gonna take a shower if that's alright." I say quietly, entering the bathroom without waiting for her response.