Liam

Waking up sober is so underrated. No pounding headache, no dry mouth or upset stomach, no acidic belches and fuzzy memories, and most of all, no regrets. Zayn's soft breathing comes from the bed next to me and I roll over to check my phone. No new messages. Not from Syd, not from Niall, no one. I lazily type a message to Sydney before walking over to the balcony.

"Morning Beautiful."

This life can get hectic, the fans can be overwhelming at times, but stepping out in the morning to see a crowd of girls, sitting, trying to be quiet so we can get our rest, while holding signs saying they brought donuts, would put a smile on anyone's face. I slip on a T-shirt and picket my phone and room key before I can change my mind. I can't remember the last time I willing went out to meet fans, this has always been more of Niall's territory.

Buzzz!

I grab the phone out of my pocket and open Sydney's response.

"Sydney: Morning :)"

She sent with a picture of herself sitting at a desk, holding a cup of coffee. I ignore the unfamiliar feeling that presents itself when I realize that she's been awake, and hadn't text me. I respond right away:

"I'm going downstairs to meet some fans! =D"

I wonder how many times Sydney has been in the crowd of fans outside of my hotel or at the airport. I wonder how many of these girls are like Sydney: sweet, funny, confident, and crazy about a person they may never actually meet.

Ding!

Buzzzzz!

My phone goes off again as the lift door opens.

"Sydney: BE CAREFUL! They will mob you! lol I'm super behind at work and need to focus, but I'll text you tonight :)"

Sydney

Making the switch from fangirl to, well, whatever I am now, has been a struggle. I wanted to send info to about 12 different update accounts when Liam told me that he was going to meet fans. These are the same update accounts I've been ignoring for the past week, but for information like that, I doubt they would care. It's time for me to accept my new position in the world though, and the privacy that's expected to come with it. But what's the point in having inside information if I don't get to share it?

The work day went by quickly once I was able to focus. I just kept telling myself that the quicker I finished, the quicker I could get home and talk to Liam. I wonder if he would want to call me, or if we would just text. I always get nervous talking on the phone, I need time to analyze and double think my responses, I am afraid of awkward lulls in the conversation, and my hands literally sweat while I pace my front yard. And yet, I want so badly to hear his voice, especially when it's sleepy. It would be a dream come true to have sleepy, raspy Liam, sing me to sleep, while running his fingers through my hair.

Ugh!

I need to quit!

I pull into my drive way and park my car behind Rae's.

"Good Evening :)"

I send to Liam.

"How did last night go ;)"

I type out to Britt.

I pocket my phone and head into my house, careful to make as little noise as possible so I don't alert Zerrie. I tiptoe down the hall to my bedroom and slowly open the door, flipping the light on as I step inside. Zerrie lifts her head from my pillow and looks at me in greeting, too lazy to get up and give me a proper homecoming. I toss my bag on the bed next to her and begin digging for something to change into. I haven’t done laundry since before the concert and the only bottoms I can find are pants. I begin to slip on the uncomfortable looking flannel pajama bottoms when the shoe box haphazardly tossed on top of my dresser catches my eye. I smile and let the pants fall off my ankles as I rip the top off the box and pull out my treasures. I’m not completely crazy, but, I bury my face into the fabric hoping to smell of hint of Liam again before putting on his boxers. The scent of the fabric softener brings back the warmth in my chest that I felt just two mornings ago when waking up in his arms. I miss his smile.

Buzzzz!

I quickly pull the shorts on and leave my undershirt with them. I don’t want to lose the scent from the shirt so I fold it back up and place it in the box. I grab my phone from the pile of clothes on my flood and toss myself onto the bed to beside Zerrie.

“LiLi: Hey there! How was your day at work?”

“Absolute torture compared to my weekend with you ;)”

I burry my face into my pillow and squeal! I can’t believe I said that, but I love it!

“LiLi: Aww! And here I thought maybe you hadn’t enjoyed your time with me all that much.”

My bottom lip falls into a pout as I think of the face he must be making.

“Well…. Most of it was pretty amazing ;)”

No us in pretending that it all was.

“LiLi: Most? What was your favorite part?”

I think about the weekend, every little moment we spent from drinks the first night, to being pulled on stage, waking up next to him, singing in the car.

“The beach.”

I finally decide.

“LiLi: Which part at the beach? ;)”

“When Zerrie shook her wet body all over you and got you covered in mud! Definetly the best part! Lol”

“LiLi: =(“

“Eeeeekkkk!” I squeal to myself, kicking my feet against my bed! This is ridiculous! I am ridiculous! He is being so cute though! I switch the lamp off beside my bed and slip underneath the covers. It’s still early, not even 8, but, who doesn’t love laying in bed, in the dark, talking to a cute boy?

“Kissing you :)”

I finally reply. I pull the blankets up to my neck and bunch them up beneath my arms so I have something to squeeze. My phone lights up.

“LiLi: Want to know my favorite part?

“Oh, it’s not the same? :(”

“LiLi: It’s a close second, but no. My favorite part was sitting on the couch in your hotel room, asking you questions. Normally I’m the one being asked a million questions.”

That’s not the response I was expecting, but, I like it.

“Now you know how I felt, sitting on the internet watching interview after interview of you! It’s fascinating!”

“LiLi: May I ask you something?”

“Of course :)”

“LiLi: Why me? I mean, over the other guys. What was it about me that you liked?”

Oh gosh! This conversation seems so middle school. I can’t believe I’m having to explain to Liam Payne why I like him!

“I don’t know Liam. I wish I could just sit here and list attributes about you that I like, but it would all seem superficial or cliché. Your personality just clicks with mine, I would watch you and wish that I was the one making you smile. That sounds so lame and this is embarrassing, can’t you ask me something easier! “

I hope that doesn’t scare him away. I really don’t want to come across as crazy.

“LiLi: You do make me smile =)”

“LiLi: What’s your favorite song (out of the ones I’ve written)”

“Does He Know!”

“LiLi: Oooh so you like the idea of other men pining after you when you’re taken then ;)”

“Wow! Um, no!”

“LiLi: Haha calm down, I’m just joking. If you had 24 hours to live, how would you want to spend them?”

“Morbid much? Lol Writing! I would try to get everything in my head down on paper. Whether its words to friends or just stories in my mind, I’d get as much of it down as possible, cause once I’m gone, it goes with me.”

“LiLi: I never would have expected an answer like that. You’re truly remarkable Sydney Kate Fletcher J”

I blush as I read my full name. I forgot I had told him that, but it’s sweet that he remembered.

“What’s your favorite city that you’ve visited?”

“LiLi: Well, until LA, I would have said Milan probably. Italy is so, indescribable. I’ll have to take you there sometime.”

"AAaeeekkkk!" I screech when I read his message.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

I look up at the sudden noise.

“Sydney! Sydney is everything okay in there?” Rae’s voice comes through the door.

“NO!” I shout back, jumping to my feet and opening the door.

“Come in. Come in!”

“Why’s it dark? Are you sleeping already?”

“Here! Read this!” I say, shoving my phone into her hands. Her eyes glaze over the last text and she nods.

“Damn girl, who is this guy! Italy? Does he have a brother?”

“That!” I say, pausing dramatically while grabbing my phone back from her, “ is Liam James Payne, and yes, he has four brothers.”

“Liam.. that sounds.. have you talked about him before?”

 “Yes! All the time!” I say, pointing to the multiple pictures of him on my wall.

“That guy? Really?” Before she can completely process what I am saying, I pull up pictures of the two of us on my phone to show her.

“Holy shit!” She says.

“Yeah, so anyway..” I trail off, giggling. “That’s why I screamed”

“Well I guess your stalker ass ways finally paid off.” She says while shaking her head. “You have fun with that and be sure to tell him you have a hot single roommate if any of his brothers are interested.”

I shut my door behind her and climb back into bed, mentally going over the multiple ways I could respond to this.

“I’ve always wanted to go to Italy. It seems beautiful. Historic, yet, romantic.”

“LiLi: That describes it perfectly. You were right all along.”

“What do you mean?”

“LiLi: Our personalities are a match =)”

I blush when I read this message. He is too cute! It’s insane that this is happening, and yet, it still feels so… normal.

“Well, now we know why none of your other relationships worked out. They just weren’t me :)”

That was bold, but, I couldn’t help but be curious. I mean, he’s dated beautiful woman, woman that he’s known since before he became famous. I want to hear him say something that would indicate that he thinks I’m better. Even if it’s bullshit and I wouldn’t believe it anyway, it would just really help my self-esteem. I mean, if this is for real, I’m about to be thrown in to the spotlight, and being a directioner, I know how ruthless we are!

“LiLi: Danielle was a wonderful person, we were just very different people. And, well, the other one isn’t even worth talking about. She’s a horrible person.”

Wow. I don’t think Liam has ever spoken badly about anyone. Ever. Even when he slays on twitter, he never says anything bad about the person.

“Wow, um, what happened? If I may ask….? :( ”

i.e. What do I need to make sure I never do.

“LiLi: Lets just say she did something that is unforgivable. I would rather not talk about it actually.”

“I’m sorry. And I’m sorry for prying. :/”

“LiLi: It’s fine. I’m going to sleep now.”

Ugh! Why did I have to ask stupid questions! Just because I am feeling all insecure and needed an ego stroke.

“Oh. Okay. Good night then.”

I toss my phone to the foot of my bed and roll over. I can’t help but wonder what Sophia did, I hate her for hurting him. I don’t care if I know her or not, it kills me that whatever she did has made him into this drunken mess half the time, and a shell of his normal self the rest. But right now, I’m even more mad at myself for bringing it all up. I feel a soft buzz near my toes and reach down to grab my phone.

“LiLi: Sweet Dreams Babe <3”

I smile and pull my phone close to my chest. He is perfect. Even if he isn’t, he is for me.